Back to the Future?

I just applied online for College - just the local community college, but it's a start.
Not even sure what I want to be but I know I don't want to do office, retail or home care again - ever.
I am kind of scared to think about it - I have to work out how to pay for it and that's a MAJOR issue. I am not sure if there are scholarships for it but I do know I have to do something. I am going to clear off credit cards if it kills me. and then work it out.
I won't give up on violin but maybe the school has a course in it that I can take for credit ;). yeah -right with MY sense of rhythm I'd never pass.
Anyhow I applied to ECC and I am thinking of trying Buff State to see if I get better results with getting credit for old course work and go from there.

* worried *

To The Zoo!

I went to the zoo with Trish today...it was going to be just going in and out ( yeah, right) to the boutique there to use up some zoo bucks coupons that would expire at year's end.

Well, Trish wanted to see the Sea Lions and I wanted to see the Giraffes and we wandered a bit and saw all the babes we saw this summer. They are so grown up now. Gorgeous. It was almost deserted and we had a blast. I want to go again when Colin ( her 5 year old ) and I get boots. My shoes have holes in them because I hate shopping for them -so that may be awhile.
In the mean time my feet are *still* cold.

Name five musical things you're thankful for. Another Meme

I really like this one, I've never seen the "Home Blog" for this before...but I'll go with anything that lets me spout off about the musical things ( read People mostly) that I give daily thanks for. Be prepared for this to be long.

1)The Barra MacNeils. Taken together or as individuals these are wonderful people. Worth admiring and loving for so many reasons. From Oldest to youngest

Sheumas - It took me years to talk to him, literally years. He looks sooooooo intimidating on stage- and off, he's a complete gentleman. Enough of one to leave me be til I felt comfortable talking to him, even tho' it bothered him that I was afraid of him. In the past few years, he and I have learned to trust each other and I can see that he is pleased that I am willing to get closer to him.

Kyle, the master fiddler, my inspiration for keeping going with fiddle and the person I dream about playing with...and he fosters this. They all do,,,,but his reaction this summer when I gave him the card with the note telling me how much his music means to me, made me feel so good...he's wonderful, I don't get his sense of humour but I love him for not laughing at me for holding the dream of playing with him.


Lucy...Let's just say she's the only girl I ever wanted to be like. Strong, feminine and loving...she makes me feel welcome no matter what's going on in her life, and being away from home has to make for some hardtimes. She's special, I hope she knows it.

Stewart...to me he hung the moon and set the stars in the sky and that has nothing to do with a romantic crush or whatever you want to imagine. It has to do with how he makes me feel. Like I can be myself around him, and he won't mock or make fun of me. He can talk to me about things that matter to me - things that matter as much to me as music does to him, and not have to worry about him making me feel dumb, or that he feels that those things are stupid or denigrating or... he makes me feel like I matter, like I am safe, like it's ok to be me. I don't feel that often, but he manages it. Even when he's giggling his butt off at my total lack of a sense of rhythm. He can tease with out making fun of someone. ( one has a sense of fun, the other has a sense of malice about it. Stewart doesn't do it with malice.) Amazing in my eyes

Ryan,,,,Ryan is the one I know the least. But if he's half the person his siblings are, he's going to be another treasure. I've only actually had one "conversation" with him...it's going to be awhile before I can say anything real about him.


Boyd - For as young as he is, he's special. He seems to know folks, it's like he can sense what makes folks nervous and can find away around it. He likes people and it shows. He's gentle and kind and willing to talk and help and make things seem better. This summer before I told Kyle about my studying violin, I was talking to Boyd about it and made the comment that I missed the Cape Breton style of teaching...Boyd made a comment that I am sure that he's forgotten, but I'll remember for a long time. He told me that HE had a hard time with Classical Lessons, too. It made me feel less stupid, like I had company in my frustrations and I've remembered that so many times when struggling. Like if he got through it, got where he is maybe there's hope for me too. I hope he understands that his kindness is appreciated.


2)Mac Morin. Because he's Mac and is beyond description. He's made such a difference this year. I wish he could know.



3) Trish...who listens to me whine about lessons, who encourages me, who explains to me and who "translates" for me with the Barras. ( Look she's too shy to tell you but....") I don't have words for her either,except that it's my great good fortune to know her. She's the sister I always wished I had.


4) Sons Of Maxwell: I love them as people as well as Musicians.

Dave - one of his songs made me think about how men view women - so much gentleness and tenderness there...and so different than what I am used to. Good man, caring.

Don - again took me a long time to warm up to but I think about him daily and well there's no words for him..I wish I had a sense of rhythm- I'd love to play bodhran like him, his sense of fun comes through when he plays. There's a bit of devilment in him and in his playing and it makes the world a more laughter filled place because of him.


5) Great Big Sea: their music is just plain fun. enough said.

Handcrafters Holidays: A crafters meme

. Answer the questions in a post on your blog. Answer them all or only a few. Add photos and links where relevant.

Gifts

* Do you have a favorite gift that you love to give? Hand made Cross stitched cards. If you go down into "My Favourites" and find "So I told him.....sort of." There's a picture one...I've been doing them for a few years and each year the angels are different.
* If you’re making gifts this year, what are you making? (Post photos if you have some!) 91 cross stitched ornaments for some friends and the angel cards)
* Do you have any good stories about handcrafted gifts you’ve given or received? I still have and treasure the hand made doll that my mother's mother made for me - 30 odd years ago.)
* Do you have any great gift compilation ideas (a grouping of gifts just perfect for certain recipients?) No.
* Name one thing on your personal wish list. Honestly? A Sense of Rhythm, but that's impossible for anyone to give me.
* Do you make and sell things that would make fantastic gifts? (Link)Nope.

Traditions

* What is your favorite family holiday tradition? Oplateki - The Polish Christmas Wafer.
* Have you started any new traditions with your family that you didn’t practice growing up? No.
* What do you love most about the holiday season? Lights.
* What do you like least about the holiday season? Crowds.
* Anyone close to your heart that you’ll be missing this year? Yes,
* What is your favorite holiday food? Home Made Mushroom soup.
* Do you have a great recipe to share? I don't share recipes,because I rarely cook by recipe, Sorry.

I am my Daddy's Daughter in someways.

Which soldier type are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Engineer Military Engineer. Your job is usually overlooked, but without you nothing gets done. While you sometimes get annoyed at this, and and you know the only time people come to you is when there's something wrong: You understand that you are the heart and soul of any organization with honesty and nice work ethic to boot. Hard working, intelligent, "I need more Duct Tape!!!" Engineer 100% Combat Infantry/Armor 100% Artillery/Aircraft 100% Special Ops 94% Support Gunner 94% Medic 81% Officer 75% Civilian 0%

I am my daddy's daughter in some ways. Let me explain. I snagged this from Belinda and the results are scary. Daddy was Army. In Korea. He had the Medals to prove it...and he got his start as a Manufacturing Engineer because of his time in the service. He built things, there. Bridge need? Yes, sir..Dad would get it done. Pool needed cleaning And fixing, Dad did it with his buddies...better than ever. And from his stories of that episode it would have been a disaster.
Dad came back went to work Back at Aro and American Standard and Back to Aro and to Scott's and back to Aro where he retired from...I think he liked Aro ;) he worked on all sorts of stuff from Masks for Firefighters to things for NASA. Fascinating stuff and the stuff of my childhood memories.
So in this quiz I come out as Part Combat Infantry/Armor And Part Engineer. Yeah,,,Dad would get a kick out of it. I know I did. in Some ways Like Father Like Daughter.

In Flanders Fields

In Flander's Field
by John McCrae
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow,
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky,
The larks, still bravely singing, fly,
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead.
Short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved and now we lie,
In Flanders Fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands, we throw,
The torch, be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us, who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow,
In Flanders Fields.


The above was written by a Canadian Dr, serving in WWI it's become the symbol for the atrocity of war..and Poppies the symbol of Veteran's Day/Remembrance Day all over the world. IT brings tears to my eyes everytime I read it.
It's sad that none of the kids I know have ever hear it, They no longer read it, or hear the story of it's writer. The sacarfices of Heros past and present are lost to them...but they grow up thinking people like Michael Jordan and Snoop Doggy Dog are "Heros". Yeah sure. Nothing against either but Hero doesn't cut it.
A Hero is the man who take a stand and lets his buddies escape often at the expense of his own life. A Hero is the woman who gives up her life at home and goes to tend the wounded as Many did in wars past..or these days you might find woman on the battle field too...also letting her buddies escape. There are heros who go to sea and rescue others, for storm tossed sea or from a ship that's disabled by war or failing parts....There are heros who train these others to be the best - who give them the skills to stay alive, the courage to keep going, the supplies to stay alive,,,,then there are heros that treat the fallen and their families, who tend the wounded, who make the broken as whole as possible.
They are the heros, today and always.

Veteran's Day/Rememberance Day/ Armastice Day.

They are one in the same and "Forgotten Holiday". It so said that these men and woman who fought, died or for and live with the lasting memories that war brings are forgotten in the memories of the very people they fought for. How horrible it must be to have sacrificed that much and not even have that remembered. To be treated, often times as, burdens rather than heroes.
Do you realize that with out them so much of what we treasure about our lives would be gone? Freedom, safety, peace. They secured it - at their expense and don't think those that came home didn't pay a heavy price,too. And so many of us don't even take a minute or two, even on this day to say "thanks" or to spare a thought or a prayer for them. Muchless to mark the day.
When I was a kid there were ceremonies and parades and popies were worn by everyone, how sad that it's not that way anymore.
If you're a Vet today, and always, please accept my thanks and prayers for your safety, health and peace....and if your not would it be so damn hard to express a little gratitude to those who did what you wouldn't/couldn't?




More to come later, if I can actually put my feelings into words.

And the last of the Trio of Shows.

I can't say enough about this show, Everything was wonderful. Yes, with a capital E. The Rose Theatre was grand. The staff from the crew at the Box Office who told us where to get food, where to park, what to see in town, to the security folks who let us in early to use their facilities to the volunteer ushers, to the House Manager to Colin who reseated us and a couple of Elderly folks and who helped the woman down the stairs.
I can't say enough about the theatre itself either, absolutely gorgeous. It's warm, rich and inviting. With what looked like red sandstone side panels, marble lights and accents and rose wood woodwork and copper trims. Fantastic. I'd love to go again.
The Barra's were fantastic - as usual. Absolutely Wonderful. The melodies, the harmonies, they love they put into them, they are just amazing. I wish I could have gotten the set list. And done a real review.
We did talk to them after the show. Trish told Lucy that I was having an allergic reaction Friday, and she was upset we had not told her sooner - why? what was SHE to do? Worry? Not like even she could have gotten me to a hospital or anything. But at least she knows that my not coming to talk was not meant to slight her. This is a good thing, I think.
And Trish also told Ryan, Boyd and Stewart that I am a Buddhist monk and that the robes I wore to the Halloween show were worn by right. She said Ryan's jaw just dropped, Boyd smirked, and Stewart gave her a raised eyebrow and that from the looks of Boyd he probably said something to Ryan about his reaction to me in them on Wednesday. If he did, I love him for it. She seems to think that Stewart and Boyd at least are more than OK with it. And that the rest of the Barra's will know by night's end. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in THAT dressing last night. or on the bus, it would have made for interesting conversation.
I'll find out if they had a problem with it at the next show I go to, I guess.
I do love those folks tho.

Another Show...

I went to another Barra's show Friday,,they are truely amazing. No, I didn't even try to talk to them. Really, I was lucky to just be breathing. I had an allergic reaction so bad that total strangers were asking if I needed an epipen. By the time the show started Trish had had to remind me to breathe and she said during the show I was "really having a hard time" afterwards I just did not feel like Chatting with *anyone*.
I missed talking to them, but really, I don't think they would have wanted me passing out at their feet.
I have tickets to another show tonight. Not sure how I feel about talking to htem tonight. We'll see. But I doubt it, unless they start with me. It could happen.
I love watching Kyle Play. He makes it look so easy. And it's soooo hard for me right now. I still dream of playing with him, I wonder if that could happen too. Who knows at this point.

"We knew you were coming so we had to change the show"

SO I went to the Barra's Show last night. Lucy was, as always a darling, Stewart and I just can't seem to get past "Hi"...I love the man to death, I think he hung the moon and set the starts in the Sky, But I can't talk to him to save my life. He's wonderful, He never makes fun of me, he can actually talk about crafts and ask INTELLIGENT questions about them, with out mocking. Without even making me feel like I am being mocked. Gotta love a man like that, really. I *really* wish I could talk to him, tho. I used to be able to but lately...No luck and he does not have anymore "luck" talking to me either. Totally Sucks.
Ryan would not look at me at all. Period, end of discussion, would not make eye contact at all. He took one look at me in my Buddhist Monk's Robes ( Hey, I earned 'em when I took vows as a Buddhist Monk - I suppose I can wear 'em when I want) He saw me, looked shook his head and refused to look at me the rest of the night.
And then I got to Kyle and He took one look at me and said "We knew you were coming and changed the entire show." My heart fell. I am not sure if he were joking, having a bad night himself or if he was trying to tell me as kindly as possible that I have been to too many shows and they're sick of seeing me. Sigh.
He's not a nasty man. He would never be hurtful if he could find another way to say something. I trust him that far. Which - for me - is saying SOMETHING. A *big* something.
I have tickets to a couple of shows this week yet, and now I am dreading them rather than looking forward to them.
Sigh.