starlight

exam Orthopedic dah habis.over!

maka selamatlah sudah siap satu rotation untuk year 4 ni.ya Allah.lega sungguh rasanya!macam satu beban dah diangkat dari bahu,and kepala dah ringan sikit.punya la cuak nak ambik exam pagi tadi sampai sejuk beku tangan.fuhhh.

boleh jawab ke tak? alhamdulillah. tapi part viva memang tak boleh blah.doctor terjah soalan bone tumour dengan anatomy.terkebil kebil bijik mata carik jawapan.

and nak dijadikan cerita,ada 3 doctors in Orthopedic department dapat anak.and all of them are boys! hebat gila. beranak tarikh dekat-dekat,laki semua tu. mesti bangga habis. Indian people really proud when they get a son. maka,pagi tadi merasa la manisan dari Dr.Niranjan. it's a tradition actually for the Indians. they give sweets everytime they have any special occasion. tanda bersyukur and nak share kegembiraan dengan orang lain.

i ate 4 of the sweets,and get sugar high right before the exam started.well,at least my brain gets its blood glucose supply.

and sebagai anak murid yang baik,kitorang hadiahkan rompers and blanket untuk babies yang baru lahir tu. ye la.orang berbudi,kita berbahasa.

maka,apa motif aku tulis entry ni?

sebab bosan.dah bantai tengok Running Man 5 episodes pun bosan lagi.apa nak jadi aku pun taktau.ni lah nama dia post-exam syndrome.

bye.

birthday

officially 22 years old.

kawan-kawan suruh belajar makin rajin.mak ayah suruh kahwin.

well,let me just behave as a 22 years old person should be.Thank Allah for this wonderful 22 years of my life.

reminder

"to hate others is ugly.to hate yourself is uglier"

Hlovate;aA+bB

family comes first.

amazing how some people bring happiness in your life.and i've been missing home too much lately.it's not good,considering the distance between the holidays and exams in between.time flies so fast that i'm in my last week in Orthopedic department. will be missing the sarcastic jokes from the doctors in it.

but the nightmare goes on.

next two weeks, i will be posted in Medicine department,which means more ward works,homework,and the most important this; more readings need to be done. medicine is a very vast subject.. and the doctors are even scarier than the Ortho doctors. tsk tsk.

and oh,the on calls! =.="

mak and abah sound very worried each time they received calls from me.they said i've lost the energy,mak even used her mother's instinct to send some energy to me.well,at least that's what she said. layankan aje la.

Qaseh and Aqeef are growing very well.alhamdulillah. Qaseh has started to stand up by herself and Aqeef,well,since he's a pre-term baby,he's quite slow in catching up the paces.but he's doing well,i know.because last time when i called home,all i could hear was his screams.and that made me missed home even more. sobs.

it's okay.keep holding on AzianHana. you can get through this! fighting!

psycho

i wish i could modified my Beats.like this;

pretty,isn't it?

and my current wallpaper. *grins* i just can't helped it. these 6 people are adorable and inspiring.

sudah la.naik lenguh pipi asyik senyum tenung mende ni.bye.

fit

kembali posting di department Ortho setelah 2 minggu di hantar ke jabatan kecemasan.okay skema gila BM aku.

ortho is interesting,the problem is my classmates.idk.you could blame me for not having good relationship with certain people in my batch,but i did try my best to fit myself with these kind of people. these lack-of-common-sense-if-they-take-EQ test-they-will-failed-it-right away people.and it is tiring to please and follow their ways of learning.

or maybe i just don't like them.i don't know.

and today,i had the opportunity to observe the Caesarean section done in the operation theatre.and also one removal of implant in left tibia. go google if you don't have any idea what these things mean. i tried to convince the surgeon in charge to let me scrub in and help him during the surgery.

and he said: "let me test you in your anatomy first,then we'll see if you can join me"

i smiled and waited for his question.but he uttered no words. lupa kewujudan dan soalan aku tadi la kot.am i that invicible? cukup tak puas hati aku dengan doctor pelupa macam ni.haish. it's okay. i still have another 3 weeks in this ortho department. usaha tangga kejayaan,AzianHana.

and tomorrow is On-call day. yeayyy! *bunyi cengkerik* =.="

next week ada seminar on bone and joints infections.punya la luas skop tajuk seminar tu.kena buat sorang2 pulak tu.sedih ya amat.nasib baik ada Sabtu Ahad ni.alamatnya memerap di rumah buat seminar la nampaknya.

harapan dan angan-angan untuk main basketball hujung minggu ni musnah dah sebab Tuhan tengah bagi aku kifarah dosa sekejap.

i have de quervain's tenosynovitis. it's not serious,but every time i move my thumb,it hurts. so the doctor asked me to wear that splint.harap-harap boleh recover cepat sebab menaip sambil pakai splint ni memang tak seronok.

i am currently wearing this kind of thing,except for mine is way uglier than this. (read: YOU CAN'T FIND FANCY THINGS IN INDIA)

tidak aku tahu apa ini

usrah;

seingat aku yang hina ini,matlamat nya untuk redha Allah.bukan untuk dipandang sebagai baik atau apa.

usrah itu;

jalin yang baru,erat yang lama. bukannya jalin yang baru,longgar tinggal kecai yang lama.

dan untuk jadi baik,tidak wajib menyerta usrah,cuma itu satu jalan ke arah baik.mahu kebaikan itu perlu datang dari hati,bukan dari tudung yang kau pakai.perlu datang dari amalan,bukan dari luaran.

wallahualam.

aku ini masih jahat.hina untuk berbicara hal-hal berat seperti ini.dan tidak aku menentang apa-apa di sini.ini bukan politik,mahu ada parti berbeza idea dan solusi.ini Islam.yang hukumnya dari kitab Allah dan sunnah Nabi.ini Islam,yang kita bawa sepanjang hayat.ini Islam,mengumpul pengikut bukan demi menaikkan mana-mana Tok Guru atau Sheikh atau Dato'.ini mengumpul pengikut demi Tuhan.

pengajaran dari posting.

posted in Emergency Medicine department sure makes my heart uneasy.

kalau dah setiap kali on call,ada aje pesakit yang meninggal,memang sebak kan.first time rasa nak mengalir airmata,kali kedua dah steady sikit.

dan dan tu jugak muhasabah diri dengan kawan-kawan yang betapa malaikat maut dekat dengan kami.

jangan jerit,aku benci.

i hate it when a person screamed without any particular reason.

called mak tadi.and adik lelaki yang baru habis PMR tu,tengah bising-bising dekat belakang.mula-mula aku biarkan aje.biasa lah budak muda nak naik angin kat rumah.tapi bila dia jerit panggil nama mak and marah-marah mak,aku memang berapi.

pantang aku orang jerit tengking-tengking marah mak abah ni.

seingat aku,sepanjang aku hidup 21 tahun 11 bulan ni, baru 2 kali aku tinggi suara dekat mak.first time mula-mula kena paksa kenal dengan anak bestfriend dia,second time aku kat India.sebab tak bagi aku balik.and that's it.lepas tu menyesal tak sudah takut mak tak ampun dosa.

even Kakak nombor 1 dengan Kakak nombor 2 tak pernah buat macam tu.

and bila dengar adik lelaki yang ditatang bagai minyak yang penuh and di sayang tahap giga oleh mak abah tu tinggikan suara dekat mak,memang aku rasa nak pagi penampar dekat muka biar bisu.

mak kata mak dah biasa kena jerit-jerit macam tu.mula-mula mak bagi jugak dua tiga das suruh jangan kurang ajar,tapi bila abah balik surau,mengadu dekat abah.lepas tu abah pujuk-pujuk,ceramah dua tiga ayat,dia insaf kejap.esok buat lagi.

inilah masalahnya kalau dimanjakan sangat.menatang-mentang selama ni dia sorang je anak lelaki.geram okay geram.

agak-agak kalau aku guna alasan "nak bagi nasihat dekat adik lelaki" untuk balik Malaysia,mak setuju tak?

mellow night

you.

purple.

thin.

i thank Allah for you.

limit your sarcasm.

agak terkilan dengan sesetangah rakan yang suka memerli,maka aku ke sini.dan jumpa sesuatu.

AVOIDING SARCASM

tetapi aku ni kuat mengusik jugak orangnya,maka perlu jadikan artikel ni sebagai reminder untuk diri sendiri.kesian dekat kawan-kawan yang selalu kena usik.

untuk yang mana sudah terkecil hati dengan usikan aku,mintak maaf banyak-banyak.

^_^

pengajaran dari drama 1

from best friend to biggest enemy.how cruel love can be.

i smurf you! :)

track: Tomorrow; Tablo ft Taeyang.

*Tablo is one great rapper. *grins*

it's been a while,right?

hai semua.pemilik blog kembali.

raya haji dah dekat.mak dah begging (?) anak nombor tiga dia ni balik raya.sorry mak.tak ada cuti.bukan taknak balik,bukan.memang tak ada cuti.budak medik di India ialah species pelajar yang paling susah nak dapat cuti panjang.paling panjang aku pernah cuti ialah selama 3 minggu.tu pun bukan nya full holidays pun.cehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

sudah lah tu.tak nak aku emo-emo pasal cuti yang sedikit ni.bak kata sorang kawan aku bila aku merungut sebab cuti sikit; "KAU NAK JADI DOKTOR KE TAKNAK?SHUT UP AND MOVE ON"

ambik kau.

sekarang posted in Orthopedics department.kind of like it,eventhough the doctors semua lelaki yang bengis dan sarcastic.tahan aje la.biasa lah tu.adat belajar.kalau tak kena tegur,bila masanya nak sedar salah sendiri kan?

cey,baik punya cover sakit hati sebab kena sembur dengan doctors.

sekarang ni trend main Smurf Village.semua orang ada kampung sendiri.pakat-pakat berlumba hias kampung,pakat-pakat bagi hadiah kat kawan kat kampung sebelah.ceh takde kerja.tapi dahsyat tak dahsyat main smurf village ni,sampaikan time shopping haritu,aku tertinggal ipod kat rumah.lupa ada beberapa tanaman nak kena tuai.sanggup call roomate suruh dia tolong tuaikan.

psycho kan? tu belum lagi cerita pasal kampung masing-masing time kat OPD Ortho.haha.

okay bukak cerita lain.

aku pergi bukak page kawan-kawan lama di facebook.ada la beberapa orang perempuan ni.letak profile picture gambar baby.okay la tu.tapi bila bukak album,semua gambar style mulut itik.tau pose yang macam mana?tu semua style Sunny SNSD punya aegyo.alah,korang tahu la kan yang style macam mana.serious aku allergic habis posing gitu.rasa nak tonyoh mulut tu dengan tudung periuk.kalau betul-betul comel takpe.ini dah macam itik tengah high.malu tengok.tsk tsk.

misi bulan 3 ni taktau akan diteruskan ke tidak.haritu dah determined habis,sekali cuti kena potong jadi seminggu je.apa barang pergi berjalan seminggu.misi bulan 3 tu,paling kurang 3 minggu baru cukup.

takpe.kita tunggu dan lihat.

bom atom

the new schedule is hectic.but i can guaranteed that the other new schedule will be more hectic,busy,crazy and tiring.

masih belum start on calls,but the seniors in final year dah start. 8 am to 8pm bebeh.pheww!~but no worries,on calls bakal start tak lama lagi.bakal sampai rumah pada 9 malam seperti seniors yang di tahun akhir sekarang.

4 years.time sure flies fast.

hari ni nampak ada beberapa seniors yang dah grad,aka para doctors,yang dah get ready nak balik malaysia for good.diorang datang jumpa semua doctors kat hospital.ada yang muka relax,ada yang dah bergenang air mata.yela..almost 6 tahun kot bergelumang dengan Hospital Baptist tu.busuk-busuk hospital tu,masih tempat tumpah peluh keringat sendiri.eceh.

oh lupa nak bagitahu,aku sekarang posting Orthopedics. pergh. letih posting ortho ni.patients yang datang semua hardcore.patah tulang peha,patah rahang.setakat sprained ankle tu apalah sangat kan.

tadi time posting,tengah lali-lali baru sampai OPD,ada doctor tanya;

" explain to me about this x-ray"

menggelabah cicak aku.nasib baik kepala tak ting tong sangat kan.

"left sided hip replacement,by inserting a monopolar prosthetic"

dia smashed aku balik; "tell me types of hip replacement"

aku bidas; "total and......"

doctor angkat kening,

aku juling mata tengok langit.

kot-kot dia kesian.huh.hampeh.takde maknanya.

"faster.i'm waiting for your answer"

bantai je la kan;" total and sub total"

habis cerdik ah jawapan logic aku.doctor tu senyum.sah aku kantoi ni.

"go and read.then explain to me"

tengahari tadi aku baca semua joints replacement methods.dari hip joint sampai la ke elbow joint.serik weh kena soalan bom atom macam tu.tetiba je.dah la time posting ortho time 3rd year dulu doctors ajar pasal types of fractures sikit-sikit aje.hampeh.

tapi bila fikir-fikir balik,bagus jugak kena soalan ala-ala pop kuiz macam tu.baru lah ingat sikit.tak payah buat nota warna pelangi bagai baru nak ingat.inshaAllah ingat sampai bila-bila.

posting mates dah tukar.no longer with Farina,Kotie,Qish,Hana,Bett,Bihah,Nana. dah takde geng minum kopi bawah pokok.lepas ni kena lah join Ruby,Nefa,Azie and Jaja jadi budak baik baca buku macam nerd.lol.

inconvenient truth

#np; i need an airbag,Before I hit the great sadness that approaches

do you know the feeling,when you see someone living a life you've been longing for?you pray so hard to be in her shoes,yet you just can't.i know what happened to me all this while is a fate,arranged by God.but is it wrong to dream?

no,i guess not.

the freedom she has,i want it too.the smiles,tears,laughs and people that came and stay/leave in her life,i want them too.i have been dreaming to live such life,ever since i was in school.and surprise surprise,when i finally have the chance to do so,someone stopped me.no,i'm not regretting the decision i made,i just want to let this out.i didn't choose this path,someone made me to.i didn't agree to this but i nodded my head.

and all i can do now is either cry or feeling jealous over her life.if only i can turned back the time,but it's too impossible,right?

i wish i'm that stubborn girl again.someone who can have a firm grip on her own decision.but a wish is just a wish.

life stays the same,and i have to move on.

pathetic,isn't it?

relieve

i'm forever alone in this house.my roommate reached Malaysia already,and other housemates will be going to Goa for 3 days.and me?

stuck in Bangalore for the whole week.

yeah.life is unfair.

well,at least i have my Smurfs.i'm a Smurf Village addict now.every now and then i will go to my village and check if there's anything to harvest.pathetic,yet interesting.

friends around me asked why i didnt booked a ticket to go somewhere,since my "misi bulan tiga" is gone.heck.how i wish i can escape from this situation.i made a promise and now i cant break it.salah satu ciri orang munafik okay jika memungkiri janji.

i bought INFINITE's Paradise album and it reached home safely.haha.called rumah and mak cakap;

"ni ada parcel untuk dikyan.nak bukak tak tgk ada apa?"

"bukak la mak.lepas tu send gambaq kat bbm eh"

received a picture,and i never thought i can smile for 15 minutes while staring at it.u guys won't understand anyway.it's okay.

he is HOYA.one of man i want to marry if he is a muslim.hahaha.bye.

a 4th year medical student.

these past 2 days had been too stressful for me.i never felt like this before.

and i am officially a 4th year medical students.alhamdulillah,all praise to Allah.but i barely feel like one.i don't have the confidence.i don't even believe in my skills in this field.and by making this decision along with some other friends,i think we made a good decision.

it's for our own good.Allah knows what best for us.

will be having a short break starting from 15th October till 24th October.short ke tuh?nak balik Malaysia tapi tiket mahal la jugak.and Mak will freaked out!but she should feel happy!i'm home!what else can she asked for?

rindu Qaseh and Aqeef!those 2 babies mesti makin membesar!

okay i think i used too much exclamation marks.

because of too much stress and works,i cried a lot tonight.and that,my friend,was how my day ends.

when the rains stop,slowly,little by little,you will stop as well.

"hujan emas di negeri orang,hujan batu di negeri sendiri,baik lagi negeri sendiri"

peribahasa di atas,tuan tuan dan puan puan,amatlah tidak boleh diaplikasikan kepada pelajar-pelajar di Bangalore.

sebab baru sebentar tadi,hujan batu turun membelasahi penunggang motosikal,dan juga mencalarkan kereta.tapi tak kisah.since Bangalore amat,amat,amatlah jarang hujan,maka kami masih bersyukur!

mari kita bagi tengok sikit ais-ais yang turun dari langit.rasa nak buat ais kepal aje.tapi bila fikir balik tahap pencemaran udara di dunia ni,aku agak ragu-ragu.ended up buat milo panas dan duduk depan laptop sambil layan On Rainy Days by B2ST.such a bless!

even the swimming pool looks like a glass full of ices.

okay bye nak tidur.hujan-hujan macam ni,tarik comforter microfibre memang sedap.kahkah.byeeee!

untuk kamu

Tuhan tak cipta dunia sepenuh ini untuk aku bersendiri.

a sad run

the previous post sangatlah emo.well,i WAS angry.with certain people,who dont even give a damn about my effort to help.why asked if you don't want to follow my advice?and yes,YOU are the one who asked for my help first.sape yang terhegeh hegeh mintak tolong lepas tu taknak dengar cakap aku?whatever..

back to normal days.

the exam was over.like..finally!after days of struggling! dah la tak boleh jawab Ophthalmology dengan cemerlang.eceh.gaya cakap as if subject lain jawab dengan bergaya.tapi commed memang tak boleh blah. there's like...thousands of pages to be read,and i finished them only in 1 day?ok let me be honest.in half a day.haha.kalau fail,memang kau deserve hempuk ibu jari kaki dengan K.Park!

and talking about commed,i heard there's no community medicine for the juniors.

whattttttttttttttttt? wth? seniors dengan batch kitorg punyalah struggle tahap gaban,time exam gelabah cicak hafal segala statistics,benda-benda merapu pasal India,sekali juniors selamat dari semua tu?! ini sunguh tidak adil.dan menyedihkan.

tak boleh la cakap;"padan muka korang pulak kena layan Dr.Shantaram!"

ish jangan sungguh aku.tak baik.lecturer sendiri tu,walaupun beliau agak annoying kannnnn~

and guess what?

esok Sabtu,and i have posting.from 8 am till 2.30 pm. and i don't even know which department i've been posted to. like seriously,going to meet the patients and doctors at the hospital,a day after finishing your exam?not a good decision,i must say.

and don't forget,the juniors are coming tomorrow's night.there will be,like..45 of them?i'm not sure.

there,hilang dah hari Sabtu aku.punah harapan nak test court basketball baru.or nak pergi main futsal.stressssssssssssssssss!~

aha.and around 8 pm before, my hands were trembling and shaking like..idk.they freaked me out!that must be the after effect of the over consumption of caffeine during the exam week.we doctors sure know how to make our own prescriptions.haish!

and i miss Aqeef,and Qase,andNabihah and Kak Nie and everyone at home!feel like going back this November,but i don't know if that would be a good decision or not.

haha.funny.time before fly,kalut nak pergi oversea...dah ada kat oversea,kalut nak balik Malaysia.

absence makes hearts grow fonder,isn't it?

weal and woe.

too angry to describe.screw everything.bye.

beetel

things i want to do;

* attend a fanmeeting of any of these groups; Block B,INFINITE,B2ST.

* visit Korea.

* visit Holland. the tulips =.="

* belanja mak secret recipe.balik bulan 8 hari tak sempat belanja.

* buat baju kurung dengan tenaga sendiri.

* get rid of unnecessary things in my drawers.

and today,another day wasted.i'm officially hate myself.bye.

the never-ending craziness

we went to Matteo today,for some coffees,good foods and a little bit of brain decompression.and with all 7 people in one car,it's quite a challenge.but we had a good time.

Zimah and Hana were forced to sit at the front.haha

but later at night,i drank some coffees again.i mean come on,those notes aren't going to read themselves,right?what to do.this is the reality.and quite depressed actually,knowing the fact that i need good marks to achieve my goals.

just look at those clean sheets.and the book isn't "lunyai" yet.that shows my laziness in reading ENT.

and this is my good friend.a cup of coffee,again.

mak risau bila call anak dia yang sorang ni asyik suara takde tenaga.

"macam tak makan aja"

"makan la mak.mana boleh tak makan.sakit kepala sikit ja,sebab stay up buat notes"

"mak agak dah.tak payah risau sangat.belajar mana mampu.Malaysia boleh!"

mak and her "malaysia boleh!",memang tak boleh dipisahkan =.="

the juniors are coming in few days.i just can't wait to resign from IMSA.haha.biar orang lain rasa sengsara buat events untuk students!yeeehhaa~

i got you.

2 days straight without any long,deep sleep is hard for me.

these Prometheus is draining my energy out.the notes for exam are ready,but my mind can't remember all the facts.

and i'm having some tremors now.my hands are shaking like crazy.even my messy handwriting becomes messier than before.i think this is the after effects of too much Redbull and coffees.

and the last thing is need caffeine overdose.not at this moment.not during the exam.no,not this time.

let's hope i dont get any caffeine overdose or any sleep deprivation anymore.

randomness

the classic idiot who do everything,yet don't get anything in return.

how could you be like this?

yosh

i have ENT end posting exam tomorrow morning. at 8am.it's freakin early!my brain won't work at that time.huargh!ottokaji?

harung aje lah kan esok.

by the way,i'm joining Prometheus.by hookor by crook.but not in basketball,since our very much-treasured captain,Mina,is in Malaysia for the time being.she couldn't make it for the game.so other members also don't want to participate.

i will be playing throw ball anyway.now,the question is,what is throw ball?don't ask me.i have zero idea about that,but since it sounds quite interesting (i always love new things), so why not if i give it a chance,right?

and oh,i bought a new ent book,which is quite useful for this last-minute-study person like me.

hypothesis di terima.

got my community medicine's mark today.well,16/20 is not bad,isn't it?oh i'm not bragging here,but just want to clarify that my hypothesis is accepted.

the less i study,the more marks i get.

sungguh tak faham.bila notes bercambah,tebal sama macam kertas A4 baru beli dekat kedai,markah lebih kurang je.tapi kalau just baca sehari sebelum tu,markah alhamdulillah okay.

tahu la Tuhan nak uji aku tengok syukur ke tak.tahu ke tak nak tambah usaha.tapi dah hypothesis diterima ni,apakah bendanya?

buat rasa tamau study dan tidur semakin membuak-buak.

and laptop dah jadi gudang virus.cd drive kena blocked.tak boleh install antivirus baru.aku akan bersabar selama 6 bulan lagi.dan bila fikirkan laptop ni mak yang belikan,maka aku masih belum humban ia dari tingkat 3 rumah aku ni.

speechless and grateful.

ceyyy,tajuk macam dapat anugerah pelajar cemerlang IMS kan.blerghh~

the exam is postponed to the next Monday.which means more time to study.

like seriously,i feel so dizzy after 5 minutes of doing near works.only if browsing through the playlists in my ipod is counted as a work.haha.

okay serious.sakit kepala after baca buku 5 minutes.sakit sebab nak hafal segala benda yang tertulis tu cerita lain.ni sakit sebab nak fokus kat tulisan tu.susah hati aku.tak suka pakai spec.rasa macam ada binatang hidup atas batang hidung.

oh anyway,exam tunda.tapi ada Prometheus.

apa itu Prometheus?

hari sukan anjuran Ramaiah medical College. battle between medic and dentistry students from IMS,Ramaiah and kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya.aktiviti nak tunjuk bakat bersukan yang akhirnya akan end up marah student Ramaiah sebab diorang selalu main tipu.haha.

teringin nak join.lama tak jejak court lah.bola dah beli baru,tapi tak rasmi sejak dari bulan 3 lagi.tsk tsk.busy sangat la konon.tapi serious.kalau dapat buat basketball drill dua tiga round time-time nak dekat exam ni,memang smart la.darah berjalan lancar je ke otak.dah sah2 tak mengantuk and takkan tulis blog macam sekarang ni.

tapi tadi ada satu bendatak kelakar pun tapiaku rasa kelakar.lantak ah aku nak rasa kelakar kan?

buku tulis;

"branch retinal artery occlusion (BRAO)"

and i read it as BARO,not BRAO.

Baro= the rapper of B1A4.

Kpop merentas kehidupan budak medic weh.tahap bahaya ni pengaruh kpop ni.hentikan sikit ayam.tone down sikit.

and oh,misi bulan 3 ni bakal berjalan secara sendirian.ada rasa cuak di situ,tapi bila fikir balik,bila lagi nak dapat peluang macam ni?bukan ini ke yang kau duk teringin selama ni?

redah aje la,ayam.apa apa jadi Tuhan ada.

like a ninja.

the exam is on next Monday.and i'm scared like heck.the thoughts of unable to answer the questions make me feel..uneasy.

nak makan pun cuak.

takpe ayam.takpe.relaxxxxxxxxxxxxxx~

btw,dah called mak siang tadi.uh lega lepas dapat tau mak tak kecik hati.siap boleh pergi jamuan raya lagi.haha.

there's so much things i want to do after the exams.i'm going to a theme park,no matter what.and it's called WonderLa,here in Bangalore.it's not as great as Genting or Lotte World or Disneyland whatsoever,but since i don't have any other choices,so it will do.

asalkan boleh jerit sehabis kuat,lepaskan semua benda yang terbuku dalam kepala otak dan hati.

oh tak sabar.

dan esok masih posting di deparment ENT.which means i need to be at the hospital before 8.15 am.

awalnya.dah sah-sah kena start gerak dari rumah pukul 7 lebih.traffic jam memang hebat kalau jam dah jangkau pukul 8 nanti.memang takkan sempat jejak hospital before 8 suku.

p/s: Aqeef dah cukur rambut.Abah dengan Mak panggil dia IPIN,sebab dia dah botak macam Ipin tu.haha

padah derhaka.

it's 3 am and i still can't sleep.

i made a mistake yesterday,by not returning my mom's call.she called me back later.and i don't even bother to ask if she ate or not.because i'm busy doing my notes.

a bad daughter.yes,i know that.

oh bencinya perasaan derhaka macam ni.macam la kau tak boleh pause sekejap buat nota kau tu and sembang kejap dengan mak kan?kan?

akhirnya,nak buat nota tak boleh,nak menghafal tak masuk,baca apa pun tak faham.tercangak pandang ceiling rumah macam cicak hilang girlfriend kan,sebab tak sabar tunggu pagi.

padan muka.padan muka.

lain kali derhaka la lagi.

*slaps own face*

nak bintang.

hari ini hari Sabtu.sepatutnya Sabtu jadi hari untuk berehat dan buat kerja rumah seperti basuh baju,memasak,kemas bilik,etc.

tapi aku pergi library.

tepuk tangan sikitttttttt.huh.punyalah berasap kepala baca Ophthalmology tu.sungguh la payah nak jadi doctor.

tapi sabar ayam,sabar.Tuhan ada.demi Tuhan,demi masa depan dan demi mak abah.silalah bertahan untuk beberapa tahun lagi.dah tak lama.

p/s:masa-masa stress macam ni,kalaulah langit India ni ada bintang,teramatlah bagus.tsk tsk.

syukur,kita ada lebih dari apa yang kita mahu sebenarnya.

alhamdulillah.rasa macam boleh jawab soalan community medicine tadi.tapi markah masih misteri.sungguh cuak.

tapi takpe.kita tinggalkan hal itu.sudah berlalu,yang pergi takkan kembali.eceh.tetiba.

okay.allow me to educate you about this one medical condition.

first,for us to have the normal skull,the neural tube need to fuse completely during the pregnancy.child with this disorder is born without the forebrain,and the brain tissue is exposed,without any protection from the skull.

ala nak cakap lebih-lebih terasa macam tak larat nak taip di sini.go google it okay?

dan baby ni lahir beberapa hari lepas.case ni bukan case pemilik blog,sebab sekarang pemilik blog posting di department ear,nose and throat(ENT).jadi tiap-tiap hari hanya ngadap telinga,hidung dan kerongkong.bukan baby.bukan.bukan.ini case kawan pemilik blog,sebab mereka posting OBG sekarang.

subhanallah.kalau tuhan dah kata kunfayakun,maka jadilah.kita merancang,tuhan yang tentukan.i know,this sounds so cliche,but it's true.

part of me want this baby to be alive,but part of me question his position in this world,even if he's alive.you know,it breaks my heart when i hear about any bad news,but i just can't stand the death of the innocent baby.

dengar cerita dari kawan2,baby ni tak banyak ragam pun.tidur je even orang ramai tenok and pegang dia.status samada still hidup or dah meninggal,tidak pemilik blog tahu.masih merisik khabar.

tapi bila fikir balik,tak apa lah.kalau tiada harapan hidup pun,paling tidak,dapat tengok muka ahli syurga.

:)

bila jumpa case macam ni,sebak bila ingat pasal ada anak yang tendang/pukul mak ayah sendiri,ada yang sanggup bunuh sebab kena tegur sikit dengan mak ayah,ada jugak kes bunuh diri sebab putus cinta.

ada otak sihat sempurna pun tak tahu fikir.

sad,isn't it?

maka marilah bersyukur untuk semua yang kita ada.biar tak handsome,tak cantik..tak apa.selagi pandai guna apa yang tuhan dah bagi,and tahu bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.biar tak cantik,tak kacak asal kan cukup jari tangan.asalkan ada hidung telinga muka.cukuplah.kan?

exam lagi.ah aku kisah apeeeee

been wasting my precious time since this afternoon.what have i done? *facepalm*

okay stop the drama ayam.

i have community exam tomorrow morning.4 essays,and the duration is half an hour.HALF AN HOUR?what can i do in that short duration?even gathering my thoughts will take almost 5 minutes!

community medicine department always been ridiculous.well,challenge accepted.we'll see how.

and second internal exam is in less than 2 weeks.

takpe ayam.relax.kau bukan jenis yang study hard.kau study smart.jangan ikut orang lain.takpe diorang nak belajar sampai pecah kepala.kau kena cool.jangan gelabah,nanti dalam kepala otak kau bercelaru.relax ayam relaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

*straight face*

disebabkan pemilik blog cuak tahap iguana,maka entry ini terhenti di sini.kot2 kalau aku bosan,nanti aku tulis pasal baby takde tengkorak untuk korang.

ye aku tau.boring gila blog ni.tak cakap pasal exam,cakap pasal medical things,takpun rutin harian pemilik blog.

sukahati aku la.blog aku,kan?

okay bye.

just like this

you are like a happy kid,running toward toys and sweets.how wonderful it would be to have someone like you by my side.

RP

buat residential permit esok pagi.

ya tuhan,tolong lah semua berjalan lancar.tak larat ulang alik balai polis di India ni.kalau ada abang polis sekacak shah rukh khan memang takpe.tapi malangnya tak ada.and harap harap meter kesabaran tinggi untuk berdepan dengan kemungkinan yang ada.

by the way,macam confirm je kena balik November ni.baru ingat nak kumpul duit bebanyak bawak gi misi bulan 3.ciss.

bad enough.

found a picture on facebook,now i am curious.

dan nampak sesuatu kenyataan,and teringat satu fakta.fakta yang aku allergic habis.sungguh tak boleh terima sampai sekarang.otak aku serious tak boleh nak cerna and hadam fakta tu.sampai mati akan ingat.

tapi yang itu takpe.kita tolak tepi.cerita zaman batu itu tak perlulah nak disingkap balik,kan?

sekarang aku tengah pulun nak menghabiskan ENT punya topic untuk exam.so nanti time dah menjelang hari-hari seksa nak dekat exam tu,takdelah terkedek2 baru nak baca pertama kali.tapi masalahnya bukan ENT,tapi Ophthalmology.sungguh tak minat benda ni.padahal mata tu lah duk bagi kau tengok semua benda,ayam.cuba bawak-bawak insaf sikit.haish.

hari ni tak call mak pun.tak dengar suara Aqeef dengan Qaseh pun.susah la macam ni.baru adik dengan anak sedara,belum anak sendiri.dah rindu bukan main.macam mana kalau dah kahwin ada anak tapi kena tinggal sebab nak menjalankan tanggungjawab kerja?bagaimana?okay ayat skema rasa nak tampar diri sendiri.

oh,esok start posting department ENT.gerun pulak aku bila fikirkan pasal ketegasan Dr. Roopa.

maka dengan kegerunan itu,marilah baca sedikit anatomy ataupun apa2 yang patut,supaya tak terkejut beruk kalau kena soal tetiba pasal anatomy and physiology of larynx,pharynx,nose,ear or whatever.

bye.

p/s: mak suruh balik bulan November ni.tapi aku dalam misi berjimat demi misi bulan 3 ni :/

yakin dan percaya.

berjaga sampai pukul 1 pagi.Davidson di sebelah bantal.lecture notes ulang baca nak dekat 14 kali.punyalah cuak nak exam Medicine kan.dengan takde guidance topic dari doctors,tak sure format apa exam tu,plus baru sampai dari tanah air terchenta..memang gelabah cicak la kan tetiba nak ambik exam.

penghabis cuak ialah tidur dan berdoa supaya soalan mudah dan terang hati untuk jawab.melangkah ke hospital dengan hati yang agak risau,tapi tetap maintain tenang.sepanjang jalan nak ke hospital,punya lah keliru kepala otak duk mengimbang between tengok jalan raya and mengingat balik apakah sebenarnya benda yang aku belajar malam tadi.

agak gentar di situ bila sampai hospital,tengok semua orang tengah baca pneumonia la,hepatitis la,antiretroviral teraphy yang nama ubat dia memang terbelit lidah Melayu aku ni.

tiba-tiba,rasanya macam langit terbukak sebenarnya malam semalam.Tuhan dengar doa aku.

SOALAN EXAM MEDICINE HANYALAH FORMAT MCQ.

alhamdulillah.

mcq pun,even 20 soalan aje,berpeluh jugak nak jawab.

itu cerita exam hari ni.

then semalam sebenarnya dapat markah Community Medicine.alhamdulillah,syukur kepada Allah.ingatkan dah fail dengan hebat.tapi alhamdulillah lulus jugak.walaupun bukan dengan flying colours,tapi cukuplah tu,berdasarkan usaha yang aku bagi untuk community medicine tu.

and second internal exam is on 26th September.blerghh.

haah.hidup budak medic memang macam ni.exam semedang.tapi itu tidak menghalang sebarang aktiviti yang ingin dilakukan oleh pemilik blog.hehe.

dan semalam ada orang mesej,tanya ini;

"kenapa bila setiap kali guruh,kau rasa takut?"

ooooo..kay...aku rasa ini soalan yang aku dah hampir lupa.maka,mari la baca article di satu site ini, yang dah agak lama tak bukak.

THE THUNDER GLIRIFIES HIS PRAISE

update raya.

just got back from Malaysia.and i miss it already.apakah ini?

raya kali ni sama dengan raya sebelumnya.cuma tambah sikit busy nya.dengan tetamu yang tak berhenti bertandang.sampai kecut 10 jari tangan asyik basuh pinggan di dapur.punyalah busy sampai tak sempat snap gambar raya satu family.tsk tsk.

tapi puas sebab berjaya bermain dengan Qaseh and Aqeef tanpa batasan.bangun pagi celik mata terus pegang baby.dah la bau fresh budak2 tu.sungguh bahagia.aqeef pukul 6 mesti dah terbeliak biji mata.selalunya mak hantar aqeef masuk bilik aku,bagi baring sebelah aku sampai aku bukak mata.Qaseh pulak boleh detect dia bangun bila dengar bunyi gelang kaki dia.

nah sedikit gambar untuk santapan mata.

ada beberapa benda nak aku kisahkan di sini.tapi nanti-nanti sebab esok pagi ada exam menanti.sekian pantun 3 kerat aku.bye.

p/s: Malaysia memang indah.

balik

going back to Malaysia negaraku terchenta in less than 15 hours.

bam ba ra ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta!~

dogma

i've been looking for an answer since becoming adult,

not looking for dogma for living like a cult.

being me is difficult,but being you is beyond that.so yeah,i'm pretty much grateful now.

life is more than what you think

SUNNY HILL'S PRAY MV

go watch this.my heart hurts.

A man born with a mutated appearance tries to reconnect with the world through a woman who approaches him.He's interested in learning to touch,feel and opening his mind.but he's discriminated again because of his bizarre mutated appearance,and is oppressed.

the suffers he felt because of his curiousity about the world,his fears of others, his story of despair,and the pain in his heart.

i don't know.

this is hauntingly beautiful.

life is not just fluffy bunnies and rainbows. Everyone wants to be perfect,but there are just some people who wants to be treated fairly.

grateful is the right word

i was staring into space,lost in my own thoughts,in my crowded class today.what if it was wrong to go through this,all of this?what if i made a wrong decision.what about the road not taken?what if i'm not here?

but too much of "what if" is bad.

the decision has been made long ago.and it was my own choice[if you minus those continuous nags from mak].

true.it's been hell[excuse my languange] here,yet some time years later,i know that i will be grateful for everything i experienced here.

so maybe after this i'll toned down my excessive-useless-rude-words towards people in India.kekeke.we'll see how.

my friend

i hope you will come and wear your red baju melayu.not that black one.

i'm outta words now.another 10 days left before going back to Malaysia!Qaseh dengan Aqeef dah gemok tembam macam baby kena pam.geraaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmm!

mak bising-bising mintak pendapat nak cat rumah warna apa.abah dekat belakang tak habis-habis obses dengan warna biru.berebut phone dengan mak sebab nak tegakkan pilihan dia.

apa-apa aje la mak.asalkan semua sihat-sihat,warna warni pun tak apa rumah kita!

betrayal

there's no one in this world that i will believe anymore.

chances aren't cheap.

Track; My Friend;Cho PD feat Insooni

people make mistakes.and they deserve chances.to change for a betterment.

but if they make mistakes,even after getting all the chances they could,then that's it.i believe in chances,but not this much.

oh no worries,this is just another random thoughts of mine.bye.

matahari

Track: I'm Still Fly; ZICO ft Drake

will be going home in less than 20 days!super like!~

i'm starting the countdown now.goodbye everyone!

have a blessed Ramadhan inshaAllah ~

when u being u

something went missing.it's either that,or i misplaced it somewhere.but whatever.

bila jauh,aku rindu.sumpah tak tipu.

Track; Ugly;2NE1

i always think that it is much easier to express myself through lyrics.this song fits me perfectly.

...

and today,27th July is Mak's birthday.hehehe!finally,mak angkat phone jugak after almost hundreds of miscalls.i dont lie.

there's too many stories from my mom.many things happened in last few days..

1. warna tema untuk raya tahun ni dah tukar.changed to something unknown.the undecided colour.LOL.it was supposed to be brown,but mak kata rumah Tok dah tukar langsir warna brown,so tak boleh.nanti time tangkap gambar family dekat rumah Tok,kitorang blend in dengan langsir plak.adoi.hence,the change.

2.esok mak nak bawak Qaseh pergi tindik telinga!heheehee.mak excited sebab berjaya hasut Kak Nie bagi tindik telinga Qaseh.sebab kami,5 adik beradik perempuan,semua tak tindik telinga.i've done it once,longggggggggggg ago,but sebelah telinga aje.sebab?well,Azian Hana takut jarum.so takde tindik-tindik ni.and kakak2 and adik2 pun tak begitu suka benda bergayut dekat telinga.rasa tak selesa.maka selamat lah duit mak tak payah susah-susah nak beli subang emas untuk anak anak dara dia.

3. mak siapkan interior design untuk ruang tamu and porch kereta.sebab siang tadi mak dengan abah sibuk pergi kedai pilih marble sesuai.and terkeluar lah cerita pasal mak gaduh dengan abah pasal nak pilih marble.pilih marble je punnnnnnnnnnnnnnn boleh gaduh!abah tengah obses dengan warna biru,so semua benda dia nak biru.marble,langsir and even warna tema pun nak biru!abah,tidakkah anda tahu anak anda ini BENCI warna biru?tsk tsk.

4. mak kata,expect something different time raya nanti.apakah?

5. Kak Nie beli kereta baru.pffft!ini memang tak boleh ulas sebab emo sangat neh.hmmpphh.

6. abah kata; semua barang2nak buat kuih raya dah siap beli.tinggal tuan badan balik dari India,then baru start buat biskut raya.adoi.lagi 5 hari nak raya baru nak buat?kelam lah aku raya ni.

7.mak ingatkan pasal tarawikh.dia kata dia sedih.3 anak dia takde kat rumah.tsk tsk.nak buat macam mana mak.kalau taknak sedih,hulur la duir buat beli tiket kapal terbang balik dalam masa terdekat ni.hahaha.

cakap dekat mak;

"rindu la Nabihah,Aloi dengan Dik Lin"

mak;

haih,bila duduk jauh-jauh,rindu menggunung.dah balik rumah,kerja main tarik rambut,backhand sana sini.elok sangat anak dara macam tu.

hahaha

and i didn't get to speak with Nabihah today.she's asleep.penat sangat belajar agaknya.mak kata semalam abah rotan dia sebab tak siapkan homework.LOL.rutin harian abah time anak-anak sekolah memang tak pernah berubah.

Ramadhan

Track; I'll Smile; Jo Sung Mo

i forgot to call my mom,and now she refuses to reply my message.alahai mak.

...

and Ramadhan lagi 8 hari.semoga sampai umur untuk bersama Ramadhan.tahun ni sahur and berbuka,bertarawikh dengan rakan-rakan lagi.cuma 4 hari terakhir aje akan buat semua tu dengan family.inshaAllah.

sungguh tak sabar nak balik!nak jumpa Aqeef Nabihan yang dengar kata,dah makin gemok!and semestinya nak jumpa Qaseh yang Kak Nie kata dah macam tayar terlebih angin.hahaha.

nak pergi jumpa Mak Wa jugak.semoga Allah lancarkan semuanya.

and raya tahun ni,nak peluk mak abah lama sikit dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya.qada yanf tak peluk tahun lepas.hehe

for the time being,keep calm and prepare yourself for Ramadhan.in and out.hwaiting!

the show is over.packed your things and move on.

Track; Goodbye Baby;Miss A

there's too much things to be said,too much sentences to write,too much tears to spill,yet,i stare blankly at this screen.

well,i guess,i'm not that good in expressing myself.

or maybe,words aren't enough to describe everything.

que sera sera,what will be,will be.come hell or high water.

the show is over.packed your things and move on.

Track; Goodbye Baby;Miss A

there's too much things to be said,too much sentence to write,too much tears to spill,yet,i stare blankly at this screen.

well,i guess,i'm not that good in expressing myself.

or maybe,words aren't enough to describe everything.

que sera sera,what will be,will be.come hell or high water.

urgh

they say;

the second option will last long.heck.it wasn't.it wouldn't.

bye.

wrong assumption gives you nothing.

Track; When The Door Closes; Dongwoon & Doojoon of BEAST

a person once said;

"the happy moment,when you see him with the other person,is one of precious feeling you will get if you let him go"

well,that person was wrong.totally wrong.

weird people do exist

Track; Bad Women;FT Island.

i'm writing here,due to the effects of the nescafe i drank last few hours.whatever,let us get to the point of this post.

ok.

i bought B2ST Japanese album that cost me rm170.and it consists of;

-a DVD

-a 72 pages photobook

-3 songs.

3 FREAKING SONGS.

i'm not gonna tell you how i end up buying the album.

okay.that was a different story altogether.

someone buzzed me at ym.and asked me;

"how come you can be so happy and enjoy the musics,the kpop things,the novels and movies,if you are trying to be a doctor?i bet you can't be a good doctor then"

where's the fire,man?tiba-tiba buat ayat kureng begitu.

well,hello! a doctor is a human too.okay?we are not robots.and are you for real?how can you compare and judged me based on my tweets and blog?

you are a narrow-minded person i ever met.or maybe talked to.

you don't see how i struggled and stayed up late like a zombie just to read those medical facts.

you don't feel my tiredness after coming back from the hospital.

the most important thing is,you are not me.

and being a bookworm is one of the options i had,but i choose not to be one.because i believe,success is not about how many books you read,or how many facts you know.

and you just sit there and read my tweets,yet you dare to judge me?

get a life,please.

but thank you.it's a good reminder,but i'm more than glad if you can rephrase your last sentence.kahkahkah

and about me being a good doctor,well,CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!.

we'll see how.inshaAllah ^^

if i leave

Track: Awaken;Maher Zain

don't ask me why.it's been way too long since i listened to any nasyeed.yes.way too long.

so remember how i wrote in my last post about waking up early and go snap some good pictures?

well,it didn't happen.

i woke up late.very,very late,i must say.and i end up going to Hae Kum Gang with my girls.Hae Kum Gang is a Korean restaurant.the food was tasty,and you can eat all you want(except jajangmyeon,since it has some pork substance in its premix whatsoever) at a very low price.

i forgot to bring my camera,so no pictures.huh.

but having an outing with the girls sure did help me to forget all those sad things which happened in my life in last few weeks.i can't remember the last time i went out with Farina,Qish and Kotie,if you minus those short lunches during posting.

i didn't bought anything today,except for a new optical mouse.yeay for me.

then,at night,Bett dengan murah hati ajak bersiar-siar naik keretabaru dia.Zie tagged along with us and we went to Baskin.Bett's car is AWESOME.haha.toomany people were staring at us,the moment we went out to the main road.hahaha.you need to see the pictures,then you'll understand why.hahahaha.

okay too much rambles already.

p/s: today i met a person who questioned about why women need to cook for her husband,when she get married.she even compared that,with man who don't know how to be an imam.well,for me,those two things matter.

hands down.

some random stories that stay in my heart.

Track; If I Leave;Jo Sumi

i called abah early this evening,worried if he went to KL and joined the BERSIH,but thank god,he's busy fishing at some random river.mak must has warned him about this.and when i asked him,

"abah buat apa ni?line tak clear"

"abah tengah memancing.ada orang tu nak balik bulan puasa ni.mesti nak makan ikan pekasam.mak kerah abah suruh pancing ikan puyu.dia nak buat sendiri pekasam tu.happy?"

\^____^/

and oh,

i was busy cleaning my table just now,when my eyes caught on my camera,lying so helplessly in its bag,haven't been used for several weeks.

so i decided to wake up early tomorrow morning,and go visit JP Park or anywhere i could go.snap some pictures and go back home.

the camera ain't bought for nothing,ayam.remember how you begged abah to let you bought that camera?make it worth then.

new

Track: Roly Poly;T-Ara

i bought it.i bought the damn expensive Dr. Dre's headphone.and it's GREAT!MORE THAN GREAT!!!it is exactly like this one.

capslock can't express my feelings now.hahhahaa

and the quality is freakin good.the owner of the shop that i went to brought me to a construction site near the shop,just to test the headphone's quality.and i fell in love with it,the moment i use it...

thank you Abah sebab bank in duit.i love you.hahaha

Nadh,kalau jeaolus,jom esok kita ke kedai tersebut.marilah.kita boleh ada couple headphone.LOL.

my mood is good now.very,very good,i must say.

okay byeeeeeeeeeeee.

fate

it's all end when you see me in her.and those five years are nothing now.

sweet dream

Track; Close Your Mouth;M&D

habis dah exammmmmmmmmm!

and jangan tanya macam mana.sungguh jawab macam hape je.entah.lantak la.benda lepas jangan dikenang.

i have so much things to do now.the assignments,which supposedly kena hantar hari ni,laporan aktiviti IMSA,kemas bilik,etc..

but i end up watching Heartstrings and City Hunter.

erk

panic attack.exam is on Monday.

ya Allah,ease our way.dah usaha,cuma masih ada rasa gemuruh.

exam fever.

Track: Hot;2PM

exam is on Monday.i have more than 6 chapter for Commed.finished 2 chapters,another 4 chapters are waiting for me.

i am a dead meat.

rindu

Track: I Only Learned Bad Things;B1A4

i love Gongchan of B1A4.kekeke.his voice is beyond awesome.

oh it's 1.30 am as i'm writing these down.urgh.first internal is on this monday.life is good.couldn'tbe better =.="

banyak sungguh la benda nak kena cover untuk first internal ni.i wonder how will i manage when it comes to final.and macam biasa,bila call rumah,ayat mak abah ayat piawai;

"Malaysia boleh.Dikyan pun boleh!"

serious ayat piawai.maybe sebab banyak sangat tests and exams sampai mak abah pun dah start hilang ayat nak bagi dekat anak diorang yang seorang ni.hailaaa.

by the way,mak pesan suruh belikan baju comel-comel untuk Qaseh and Aqeef.haha.kalau yang tu,takpe.jangan lah risau..silap haribulan,aku pergi shopping baju baby bagi release tension ni kang..

and mak bagitau satu berita kurang best.tahun ni maybe tak cukup ahli keluarga dalam gambar raya.Tahun lepas Kak Nena dekat Sheffield,so takde dalam gambar family time raya.tahun ni pun sama la jugak dengar ceritanya.ingatkan boleh la penuh semua tahun ni.haishh.tak best la macam niiiiiiiiiiiiiii.orang nak ramai-ramai.

oh tahun ni mak kata macam biasa; "kitorg takkan buat biskut raya ke apa.semua tunggu dikyan balik baru depa nak buat."

memang macam tu pun tiap-tiap tahun.tukang buat biskut raya,kek raya,puding raya..Azian Hana lah orangnya.yang merengek nak beli serbuk koko,coklat tabur,tepung naik sendiri cap Blue Key,aku lah orangnya.sebab part lain,orang lain yang cover.

Kak Nena dengan Kak Nie selalu handle bahagian ketupat,rendang dengan lauk untuk raya pertama.

DikLin tukang tukar langsir,basuh tingkap.kira bahagian interior design laaa..

Abah mesti kena kerah sapu laman,cuci longkang..

Aloi dengan Nabihah jadi tukang sibuk.sentuh sana sikit,sentuh sini sikit.jadi tukang rasa rendang apa semua.

Azian Hana dah sah2 kena iron baju raya SEMUA orang.dengan cari butang baju melayu untuk abah dengan anak teruna sorang tu.haish.

mak? of course la jadi madam besar..duduk atas kerusi mengarah itu ini dekat anak dara dia 4 orang ni.

ayat wajib mak tiap-tiap tahun time nak raya;

"apa la guna nya mak teran serlah anak dara 4 orang,kalau semua benda mak nak kena buat"

"mak dulu umuq 10 tahun dah pandai buat ketupat palaih tau dak?hangpa sekarang ni umur dah 20 lebih pun tak berapa nak tau buat"

tapi tahun ni lain kot sikit.mak dah warn awal-awal.

"memandangkan mak mesti sibuk dengan Aqeef.Kak Nie mesti sibuk dengan Qaseh.maka dah sah2 semua kerja akan jatuh ke bahu Azian Hana dan Azlin Shuhada.anggap aja lamacamni preparation nak jumpa mak mentuaaaaa.hahahaha"

tahniah diklin,kita bakal jadi buruh kasar tahun ni.haih.

apa apa pun,masih rindu dengan Ramadhan 2009.mungkin sebab tahun tu satu keluarga puasa,berbuka dan tarawikh sama-sama sampai habis Ramadhan.semoga Ramadhan yang kurang dari sebulan ni,jadi Ramadhan yang lebih baik untuk semua.

some things you can't decide on your own.

Track: I'm Still Here;Vertical Horizon.

"If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here"

the cycle repeats itself,again and again.how i wish we wouldn't even start the story.

Joker,wae?

Track: I Am The Best;2NE1

remember when i said i'm so in love with Junhyung of B2ST and gonna make a compilation of his rapping part?

well,that plan is officially cancelled.

because today,he announced that he and Hara of Kara is dating and seeing each other.oh,what a sad life of a fangirl.

ok bye.i'm off to watch LieTo Me.and go to library later.bye.

some of the good days

Track: Sweet Dream;Rainbow

hai semua!after quite a long hiatus,i'm back.google memang tak suka aku.tak boleh access blog for a while.cis.

good news people,good news!

my exam di cepatkan kepada 4th July! big yeay! sungguh "gembira". taktau nak cakap ape dah.sungguh.jadual asyik bertukar,dan semua jadual study dah campur aduk.hish!

semalam call mak.mak kata cepatlah balik.dah rindu.alahai mak.kalau mak rindu,anak mak yang ni lagi lah mak.tapi apakan daya,demi cita-cita,ku gagahkan jua.okay ayat memang ayat mintak penampar.

and baru perasan.balik raya nanti sampai awal bulan september.boleh la celebrate birthday Marbeck!yeay!after 4 tahun tak celebrate sekali.haha.i miss her.i miss her silly jokes the most,of course.

i asked abah on his opinion on this thing.

abah: okay.kalau rasa nak abah boleh la tolong..

mak:jangan nak mengada!this isn't a necessary thing!kalau nak beli sendiri.don't ask anything from mak and abah!

me: tapi mak kata mak rindu dikyan.

mak: this has nothing to do with rindu whatsoever.baik dikyan beli baju untuk mak,lagi baguih!

abah: biaq la anak nak beli barang sekali sekala.

haha.i think abah is spoiling me too much,since i've been to India.mesti sebab abah faham kesusahan belajar medic.hahahaha

WAEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

B2ST GONNA HELD A FANMEETING IN SUNWAY LAGOON ON 1ST OF JULY 2011!!!

AND I CAN'T GO!

T_________T

WAE B2ST WAEEEEEEEEEE????!

it's not a lie.it's a fact~

Track: The Fact;B2ST

i just love how Joker said " it's a fact!" in this song.it snaps you back into the reality.whatever.and i think i will make some sort of mp3 of Joker's rapping part.his voice is the second handsome.of course Yoseobbie's is better.

sorry.i just rambled on something you don't know.

and did i ever mentioned here that Thursday has the most boring classes ever? Paediatric,Medicine and Surgery in one day.imagine that!woah!i barely opened my eyes,but thanks to the coffee that has a vey stong taste,effects and smell ( this is told by Nadhirah), i managed to make it till the end.and Hana yang cute belanja hot chocolate time rehat setengah jam tu.

oh.a new restaurant is going to open. GOKUL RESTAURANT.

what's so special about it?

well,it will sell nasi lemak (senior yang akan masak dekat situ,dengar cerita lah) and rice bulgogi.

RICE BULGOGI!

and surprise,surprise..the owner himself is a KOREAN.a real korean.not some Korean-wannabe-or-looks-like-one-from Manipur.

i called Mayam and i came out with this great idea!!!!

we will asked the owner about what our Korean idols been tweeting to their twitter accounts!i mean,we'll make him translates the tweets!kahkahkah.or maybe we'll asked him to help us with those movie subtitles!kahkah!tinggi sangat cita-cita tu ayam!

and i think TUMBLR ROCKS!hahahaha

first internal exam.haaa sentap ke tak?

Track: Nagging; IU ft Seulong

i'm in Adam Couple mode now.sheesh!

i miss their unique ways of bringing laughter to me.

and oh.i just realize how many topics of ENT and Ophthalmology that i have to cover for this first internal exam.for real.

THIS IS JUST THE FIRST IA.HOW COME IT CAN BE THIS MUCHHHHHH????!!!

tolong jangan tertipu.those "diseases of conjunctiva,cornea and lens" might looks simple,but heck,there's like hundreds of diseases in those topics.pfftt.

i don't know.might as well stay up and do all the notes.and i'm going to library today.for sure.

and nerd mode is activated now.byeeeee.

the orange mouse

Track: Freeze;B2ST

oh the B2ST effect does not wears off yet.please bear with it.and this song was composed by the Joker himself.oh my precious Joker.LOL.

and Lie To Me episode 9 was depressing!cis.Sang Hee,boleh tak jangan masuk campur hal abang kau?he annoyed me to the max.and Yun Ju,please stop rewinding all the mere memories of yours.

and i want those cute,tiny decorations/pins/whatever-it-is-called,yang Ki Joon pakai dekat suit dia tu.bentuk bunga la,rama-rama la.comel ok.

okay enough with these stupid rambles.

the reality is,my first internal exam is on 11th July.amacam ayam.cuak keeeee?

kalau cuak kenapa masih ada dekat depan laptop tiap-tiap malam?tatap la buku tu sekali sekala.

but to think about it,i prefer to sit at the library and write down all those notes.because my mind will wandered around if i stay at home.not a good sign.i'm considering to burn all the pictures,albums,letters and everything.every single thing.

we'll see how.

and i'm going to watch Lie To Me episode 9,since it was too depressing and i feel like going into those kind of mood right now.whatever.

bye.

zero

Track : Wedding Dress;Taeyang

the zero emotions i felt when i saw your status update.

torturing me through out the night

Track; On Rainy Days;B2ST

nah.listen to the song itself and you'll know why i love it.

i was hoping for the rains to fall down.but no.not even a small drop.

reading her blog earlier,i came across this sentence.the sentence that describe the exact feelings i have right now.

"when the numb disappears,the pain attacks"

been in that numbness for several weeks,now i realize that the pain is coming.it is here.just when i thought running away from the crisis is the best thing.should i accept mak's offer?should i?

now i erased all of you,now i emptied out all of you,but when the rains fall again,all of the memories of you that i hid with efforts,it all come back to me.

i can keep up with that.yes i can.

Track; Di saat aku mencintaimu

penyanyi sape entah.title lagu sungguh tak boleh blah.kahkah.

oh it's 2AM now.and i'm still up.mengacau kuah ayam masak merah untuk luncheon tengahari esok.ya Allah.sungguh penat laaa buat event yang satu ni.

that means this weekend akan penuh dengan hal luncheon.

next weekend will be President Cup.futsal bebeh!

next next weekend ada makan-makan batch posting.

next next next weekend ada makan-makan IMS Kpoppers.

omg!bila nak free kalau macam ni?!i want a full-free weekend.no meeting.no posting what soever.alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

dashi dorawaaaa

Track: The Great Escape; SNSD

new song.electrobeats.or whatever they call it.i don't care.

during this particular event,i learned something new,and of course,through the hardest way.

never,ever,ever, trust someone who does not trust you.never ever.

because you'll ended up being a stupid person,in front of the others.believe me.

i don't know if i'm the one being over sensitive or what,but i don't think this is fair enough for me.you don't freaking give chances for me to prove myself,to prove my abilities.it's all about you,you and you.but you know what?i don't give a damn about it.you can keep going with everything.your fake smiles and everything.

and prove me i'm wrong about you.not that it will changed anything.heh.

okay i'm done with my so-emo-words.

sorry.

p/s: contengan jalanan belum habis baca lagi.blerghh

it's all a fiction~

Track: Irreversible;Son Ga In

i need the best distraction i can have right now.i don't need all this stupid memories.

this Raya might be the best and worst Raya ever.

that's all.i have less than 2 hours to read about preterm labour.the scariest doctor will asked questions about that tomorrow.

bye~

trolls

Track: Lightless;B2ST

i think i'd been spazzing about B2ST for a month now.weird.cepatlah hilang demam b2st ni..

oh i watched Lie To Me episode 8.tsk tsk.makin depressed aku tengok cite tu.i mean,how could Hyun Gi Joon go back to his ex-girlfriend when Ah Jung finally fell in love with him?how could youuuuuuuuuuuu???

cepatlah keluar City Hunter.dapat tengok Poo Chai habis lah stress ni.kekeke~

and yes.everyone is busy with Mighty Apes Luncheon.buat bunga lah(well,that's my work) along with Bihah,etc.and ada yang berlatih dikir barat.ada yang tengah berlatih musical.

but i don't feel like attending the luncheon,until i saw the lecturers dancing on the stage during commed.they were practicing their performance.HOW GREAT IS THAT?

bila fikir-fikir balik,macam tak betul je ayat "BUDAK MEDIC TAKDE LIFE" tu.because are enjoying every moments we had.tapi yelah.batch aku memang semangat gila benda-benda macam ni.tapi tidaklah bermakna kami mengabaikan pelajaran.okay sungguh skema ayat ni.

so that means i should go then.fine.

my pretty Hongki

Track: Hello Hello;FT Island.

lagu ni berhantu.and aku ulang balik tengok Mnet Scandal sebab manusia yang cool and macho gila bawak kereta sebelah tangan macam tu.siapa?ni haa beliau ni.

lantak.masih suka eventhough dia taktahu pun aku wujud.biarrrrrr.

isk.parah dah kau ni ayam.tsk tsk.

fermented milk

Track; My Style;BEG

please ignore the title.i just too lazy to think of one,so i just type down the words i saw from Yakult.kahkah

Lie To Me episode 7 is out.and i'm done watching it.kekeke.sometimes,i wonder if those kind of silly gestures ever happened in real life.well,maybe.but surely not in my life.whatever.

some people were asking; what happened.

but all i can gave was my default answer.nothing happened.

p/s balik raya nanti kena pulang semua benda yang sepatutnya dipulangkan.

i'm back.

Track: Clap Clap;Teen Top

okay.i can start blogging again,since the stupid blogspot problem is resolved.ceh.

*haah Faiz.betul cakap kau.blogspot bengong*

okay.where should i start?oh well, I AM GOING HOME FOR RAYA!alhamdulillah syukur kepada Allah.boleh pegang Aqeef,Qaseh and Amsyar!inshaAllah.

some of my friends are planning for basketball drill on Sunday morning,but sadly the Mighty Apes luncheon is on the same time.aci tak kalau nak bahagi dua badan?

and i'm dying to watch Lie To Me ep 7!and City Hunter too!but i have tons of works,lots of books to read.the first internal exam is just around the corner,yet i'm still wasting my time on useless thing.apa ni apa ni!

and Kotie is back from Malaysia!she bought along the novels that i've been dying to read.Hlovate's and Syud's.how could i miss them?haha.so malam ni bye2 ENT and Ophthalmology.kita layan novel dulu.

shall we?