winding down

 

38 weeks and it feels like things are starting to wind down. Little clothes are being washed & folded, special date nights are taking place and we will soon have nothing to do but wait. With it being the first day of May, knowing this will be the month that we will welcome our baby boy or girl, I finally have a peace about the next however many days we have between now and then.

We committed ourselves to putting as much energy as we could into selling the house until May 1st which made it feel like a lot of little things needed to be on hold until today. Here we are now in May and there is a 50/50 chance that we could have a buyer in the next few days as we work with someone who is interested in our home. I feel good that we gave it our all and have to just trust that God knows the timing from here on out.

So, regardless of the outcome, I am committed to finishing my last week of work this Friday, putting my feet up, catching up on movies and books and praying for this little life soon to bless our family with it's presence. I also want this time to be full of moments with my sweet husband and our close friends. Ryan and I went downtown Holland on Friday night and enjoyed a dinner date & a redbox and jump started summer last night with our first visit of the year to Saugatuck with Ben & Stacie. It felt great to sit outside and of course, to get ice cream cones.

here are my plans for today:

what I'm learning

The past week has been one of the more emotional ones thus far in my pregnancy. It's like the hormone switch got cranked up a notch and I am reminding myself that this is all normal and part of the journey. Normal or not, I have to admit, I am more comfortable when I feel in control.

Which leads me to what I am learning. It is not easy to have a house for sale and be in transition when your body and life are progressing towards something you haven't experienced before. However, I am finding that the joy of having your husband as your best friend to walk it with and a few close friends who really get you make it ok. I'm learning that everything doesn't have to be perfect or designer or 100% how I want it to be a loving and Godly mom.

I could have said that before and believed it but I feel like I am really learning it in these last days as my desire to have everything in place increases. It doesn't mean I have full control of these crazy emotions or that I don't face fear but I really want to hold to the excitement of this time rather than any worry that might rise up in me.

Hearing the joyful news of Molly's little boy yesterday put a lot back in to perspective for me. I think first of all, realizing how closely she and I have been walking together in this journey and now here she is a momma which means I am soon to follow. But more importantly, how loved and cherished that little one already is. Not because of anything that has been prepared but because of the love that a little baby brings the moment they come in to the world. So even though I don't have everything in our house set up the way I thought it would be with the "perfect space" prepared, I am learning that the love we have ready for this baby will be all it really needs.

a few more favorites

I keep looking at our pictures and feeling happy knowing that this time was captured so perfectly, in this house, and with images that reflect where we are right now. I can't say enough about Christy's kindness in blessing us by giving these pictures as a gift to welcome the next chapter in our life.


I love these next two because they capture our personalities when we are just at home goofing around with each other. Maybe it is because we don't have a tv or are just silly but it did seem pretty natural to just play with our two little wooden sheep that we got in Israel. On a more sentimental note, these little sheep are special to us because they are made from olive wood and were purchased in Bethlehem. They sit on our dresser and serve as a reminder to be faithful in walking the path God is calling us to.

spring things

We officially marked the start of spring with our first 2011 run to Captain Sundae's. And when I say run, I mean we got in our car and drove .5 miles to the ice cream shop. We did however talk a walk around the block an hour later to enjoy the light left in the day, even at 8 p.m.

I also busted out a new pair of flats, which to me always marks the changing of seasons and feeling a bit more like myself to be honest. I got them last week at Meijer, for $12.99, jealous? I know some people won't buy their shoes at the same place they buy their groceries but for me, it works. In my defense, they are black patent leather and quite cute.

This time of year always reminds me of spring at TU and hanging out on the front lawn, otherwise known as Olson Beach with my bffs. And as far as the feeling like myself in flats part, I think I am just most comfortable without heels. I like them, think they are pretty but just plain prefer to be level with the ground. It seems like spring may be here to stay and I am loving it!

moving forward

Yesterday felt like a big day.

In fact, many days right now feel kind of big as decisions are being made and major changes are nearing. For starters, within the past few weeks the conclusion has been made that I will be a full time at-home momma with this little one. I am thrilled about it and feel so incredibly blessed and also a bit surprised that this is how it has all played out. I was hopeful to have the decision made by March 1st for the sake of planning and for preparing my own emotions and heart either way. After many conversations sprinkled with prayer and perspective, it became clear on the last Friday in February that this was the right decision for us in this season.

I'm sure I will write or process more about it later but for now it just felt important to note on the list of "big things". The biggest thing, the yesterday thing, is that our house is officially ready for showing and as weird as it feels to write "for sale", it's time to get it on the market. At 7 1/2 months pregnant it hardly feels like time to do anything besides sit with my feet up and continue to eat oranges in bulk but in all honesty, we feel really confident and comfortable with continuing to move forward. We have NO idea if it will sell quickly, if we will be here for the summer or even for the next year.

I'm excited, nervous, curious, everything in-between, and forcing myself to take one day at a time. I would have never predicted everything that has happened to this point so I know I can't imagine what is next. I will have to take a picture of the pseudo nursery set up downstairs as I had my first shower last weekend and still needed some places to fold & refold cute little onesies, handmade items and lots of other fun tiny things. As the time nears, those things will find a real home but it felt important to have them presentable (yet accessible) for the listing process. *I can't wait to write more about the sweet shower and as soon as I have some pics, you better believe it will be chronicled here!

For now, here are some pics of Home Zweet Home:

spring in the air.

Not sure where the past week went but happy that it included increasing amounts of sunshine. The changing weather and the calendar made me realize that we are on the verge of springtime. The season in which we will have a baby seemed so far out when we heard the little heartbeat for the first time this fall and now here we are, on the edge of it. I got so excited realizing on Wednesday that our due date is only three months away. Which in my work life translates to one quarter and we know how fast 1Q 2010 is going.

Enough of the math, all I know is that amidst the many changes taking place, I am loving sharing this time with Ryan and dreaming about the next season. We have officially decided (or more like God decided for us), that he will be going to Calvin Seminary in the fall which is a big shift from our original thoughts and plans of him attending school in Holland. Somehow, within a matter of two months the plan has been re-routed and the fact that we have so much unity about it makes all of these unknowns bearable, even worth it. We are excited to see all of it play out and trying to focus on the next right thing rather than knowing where all of the pieces fall. Someone wise told Ryan last week that sometimes you have to throw all of the pieces up in the air and ask God to fit them together like a puzzle for whatever He has for you. I thought that was a good analogy and it has given me comfort and even excitement for this season which is VERY unlike me. In fact, I have had probably five people tell me how unlike me it is and I have to laugh because I thought I hid my control freak nature a little better than I had apparently.

So the next few months will include more nesting, more questions, upcoming showers which I am so excited about and watching where these puzzle pieces fall. One more thing that I love, which came at the perfect time, is sharing my creative friends & their ventures. Remember Maggie's cute little store in Nashville? Well we just got a new children's consignment boutique in our neck of the woods, owned by my friend Kristi & her sister. I met Kristi last spring on our Israel trip and this girl is as shining and sparkling on the inside as she is on the outside.


I have realized that life on a seminary budget may look a little different and love the option of second hand things that look like new. Their store is called Little Posh, cute, I know, and I am hoping to get out there in the next few weeks. Even dreaming about doing a little "girl's night out" shopping event there sometime this spring...more to come but for now, check them out here. Happy Friday and enjoy the sunshine!

a shift

I have a lot on my mind lately and much of it has to do with a shift I feel taking place. Since the beginning of the year I have been processing/reading/thinking more about the transition of going from we to three in our little family and what that means for me as a wife and in the spring, as a mother.

There is so much energy around preparing not only in the physical sense as this baby swirls and kicks (most often at night when I want to sleep) but also in a deeper spiritual and emotional sense. It is hard for me to put into words but a lot of it has to do with knowing that the next season comes with the need for balancing time and creating space for us to have rest. Our rhythms are changing.

Some of what I have been filling my thoughts with are a result of the 6 week class Ryan is teaching this winter on Discipleship. It is pushing me to think how about I study, learn, and mentor others. I'm learning a lot and loving spending time each week with two women I already love in our little accountability group. It is also an awesome thing to see Ry in a place where he is sharing something he is so passionate about and I am really thankful that he gets to do this right now.

I also recieved this book on Friday


I have been aware of Ann as a writer for a little while now through her blog A Holy Experience and have always thought that she has a beautiful perspective on a full life. When I saw the cover of the book, of course the bird's nest drew me in but as I delve into it, I am finding there is so much more depth than I even anticipated. It is challenging my thoughts and heart in light of what it means to REALLY be thankful from a theological standpoint and how that flows into everyday life. It's beautiful and raw, filled with pain and with grace at the same time.

There are some online resources available because it JUST came out, like a book club where you can read the first chapter and get a taste of Ann's style. I think it will be just me and the pages as I read it but wanted to share those in case it would bless you.

At the risk of sounding ultra serious, there have also been some REALLY fun things to look forward to right now. Next weekend is our church's first ever women's retreat that we have been planning since this fall. We have two really cool speakers coming, Laura & I are sharing a room at the ultra-chic City Flats Hotel and we will get a chance to hang out with 60 other women for a day downtown Holland. Besides the sheer fact that I love conferences for the snack breaks and goody bags (just being honest). And since I got to put those two things together, I know they are pretty great.

Also looking forward to upcoming weekends with friends, showers on the horizon and anticipating the weather changing in a few short months to be able to get outside more often! We registered this weekend and picked out a jogging stroller that I will be happily rolling along in the sunshine this spring while Ryan walks Toby along side of me and the babe. I think we surprised ourselves at how well registering went compared to our wedding registry experience which left us at odds over dishes and towels. This time around we tried to just have fun with each other and be thankful that we have people in our live generous enough to merit a registry.

I feel like I am being stretched in so many ways right now but sitting down and writing it out gives so much perspective. Looking forward to a restful Sunday and a new week.

lists, leftovers and longings

I know I am few days late on my Thanksgiving list but I think we can always practice thankfully thinking, hence my blog name. So here are a few items that made the list this year as we had the chance to write a few on a brick & build a monument of thankfulness like we do each year at our church's Thanksgiving service.

--our new niece born just two days before the holiday
--the chance to be parents together--so thankful for this one!
--our trip to Israel this year and how much it impacted us

I always love to see the bricks stacked one upon another, a physical representation of God's faithfulness in a year filled with so many with struggles and joy for each family represented. It felt good to be able to see the pillars of goodness build something substantial out of corporate thankfulness.

After the Thanksgiving meal itself was enjoyed, we spent the majority of the last few days at home with quiet space to craft, wrap a few presents and all the while enjoy the fruits of others' cooking labors....leftovers! Quite possibly as good as the first time around. I keep thinking about this time next year, of how different it will be to have a little baby around and quite honestly, I can't wait!

thoughts on contentment & friendships

I had the lovely chance to write over here this week. Thoughts on contentment and friendships and how the two go hand in hand.