I got the 'bug' again, the 'bug' to start my blog back up, and see if I can keep it alive. Not sure what really got me in the mood to do this, but something sparked me, and I just went with it. I figured if it was going to bring me joy for the moment I might as well just go with it and see what happens. This could be a short lived thing, or this could be the real deal and I actually keep up with it and make it a part of my daily life. I think in the long term it would be beneficial to me to have a place on the WWW that I could call my own, and channel my inner thoughts, creativity, and plans of what my goals and dreams are. A place to document my life as a woman, wife, and mama!! Regardless if this is my secret place or the most public place ever, I am doing this for me! I feel I need to this for me now and just run with the joy it is bringing me now.
I had a doctors appointment this morning, lovely visit to the GI. I haven't been since 2015, and in order to remain on my one medication I needed to go in for a visit. Seemed fair to me so I made the appt. Appt went well and no major concerns or issues. We discussed my lifestyle, my feelings on certain things, and how I am doing since last visit. I saw a new doctor as well, and he was awesome. Down to earth, talkative and cuts out the BS. He was very helpful with insight, and gave me some suggestions to try and even said I am able to wean myself off of my reflux medicine over the next few months :) I will be starting to do that right away, and supplementing it with an OTC med! It will be less harmful on my body, not that what I am currently on is harmful either. He said a lot of this is anxiety based, and he is so correct! It is!!! Over the course of the next few weeks I am going to attempt to wean myself off of the medication and replace it with the OTC and do that for a few weeks and wean myself off of that and see how I am doing. I can do this as long as I keep up with my healthy eating lifestyle that I have started a little over a month ago. I have seen lots of pros since eating healthier, and I will share that a little more in depth soon. I am in the process of updating my "Healthy Mama B tab" & will mostly likely share those thoughts on that tab and keep this for more general updates. We will see, anything is possible! Back to my doctor's appt, I do not have to go back for a year unless I need something, and he challenged me to work on my anxiety, and turn it into happy anxiety and channeling it differently. Maybe this started my 'bug'!
Weekend is here, and it is going to be a busy one! Swim lesson, dance recital, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, birthday party- just a few things that are going on! Most excited to see Littlest Lady dance! Last night was rehearsal and she did so well. The costumes look so stinkin' adorable on her! Will share pictures of her soon. Can I tell you how much I do not like going to the grocery store, never fun!! I try to shop on a budget and use different apps like Ibotta, Checkout 51, Coupons and SavingStar. I have saved money and earned money while shopping, but I can be so much better about it. Do you have any shopping and budgeting tips? Please share! I have also been checking out Ebates too, but not for grocery shopping.
Will do a more in depth update on my Lil Ladies soon!!
-Mama B
Friday, May 4, 2018
Friday, April 21, 2017
Testing from iPhone
I just downloaded the app for my iPhone to see how it works, and if I would like it. I consider this my testing phase as I am trying really hard to become consistent in blogging more. Figured if it was on my iPhone it would be easier for me to blog and have access be more in touch with myself and I can document my life and how I am feeling. Let's see if this uploads from my iPhone well and I have no issues.
-bB
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
3/14/17
Being a mom is by the far the most rewarding yet challenging job ever given to me. Becoming a mom has been my biggest blessing in life, and greatest accomplishment. I always thought graduating high school and college was my biggest achievement, but becoming a mom at 19 was. I never knew I would end up here 18 year later, and the Lil Lady who made me a Mama would be 18 and graduating high school in May. She has taught me many life lessons over the years, and I always hoped I would teach her a few lessons as well. We certainly have grown up together, and always looked out for one another. In many ways she has been my Mama protecting me from getting hurt, and looking out for me. I never liked to admit that she had to wear the bigger shoes at times, but I knew I was always able to count on her, and she would be by my side to catch my fall. She has had to grow up in ways I never expected or anticipated. I think she can agree with this statement. The older she became, the more stern she became in her ways, and completely out grew of her shyness. She has no problem telling anyone how she feels, or in what tone. She might be a too confident in ways, and too big for her britches. It is times like this that with all this new confidence and sassy attitude that I wish she was still younger, and didn’t have to deal with consequences. Consequences that could have been avoided if she just used common sense and respect. My biggest pet peeve in life is disrespect, especially if you know what it is, and how to use it. I am very disappointed in my daughter, and the choices she has recently made. I find myself double guessing myself, and questioning my parenting the past 18 years. I know that I am a great mother, and have done my best over the years, but when truly knows right from wrong in the situation, it just baffles me. She is aware that I am disappointed in her, and she thinks “sorry” is going to make a difference. Yes, she can be sorry, but owning up to it and showing me she is sorry is different. Thinking about the situation stresses me out and makes my blood boil. I just want to shake her and give her a wake up call. She wants to be independent, grown up, and treated like an adult. I just want to laugh and say “yeah right” as she has no clue. I know she is going to fall many times before she rises, and I knew this. I just thought it wouldn’t be on my watch, and it would be for something more serious. I am hoping that she really thinks about what I had to say to her, she learns a valuable lesson, and she can move on from this stronger and know that I am still her Mama, and I am responsible for her until she graduates high school. I feel like I am supposed to feel sorry for her that I was SO strict on her, and gave her a big lecture on my.02 on the situation. Honestly, I am not sorry, and I hope she is severely pissed off at me and thinks I am the worst thing ever I know those feelings won’t last forever, and she will get over it, pass go and collect $200. But really, I just want her to know how much I care about her, how important she is to me, and how far in life I want her to go. I want her to know I have always valued her as a human, child, and friend. I am hard on her because I love her, and cherish her. I want her to know that if she were to ever read this in life, that she knows how I felt about this particular situation and where I stood. I know she is better than this, will be better than this, and will rise to show me that I can trust her again, and I know she does respect me.
(I felt I needed to blog about this as it was fresh on my mind, and I am trying to keep my blog current to my life. I want my followers to know me on all aspects of life, and that this is my life.)
Being a mom is by the far the most rewarding yet challenging job ever given to me. Becoming a mom has been my biggest blessing in life, and greatest accomplishment. I always thought graduating high school and college was my biggest achievement, but becoming a mom at 19 was. I never knew I would end up here 18 year later, and the Lil Lady who made me a Mama would be 18 and graduating high school in May. She has taught me many life lessons over the years, and I always hoped I would teach her a few lessons as well. We certainly have grown up together, and always looked out for one another. In many ways she has been my Mama protecting me from getting hurt, and looking out for me. I never liked to admit that she had to wear the bigger shoes at times, but I knew I was always able to count on her, and she would be by my side to catch my fall. She has had to grow up in ways I never expected or anticipated. I think she can agree with this statement. The older she became, the more stern she became in her ways, and completely out grew of her shyness. She has no problem telling anyone how she feels, or in what tone. She might be a too confident in ways, and too big for her britches. It is times like this that with all this new confidence and sassy attitude that I wish she was still younger, and didn’t have to deal with consequences. Consequences that could have been avoided if she just used common sense and respect. My biggest pet peeve in life is disrespect, especially if you know what it is, and how to use it. I am very disappointed in my daughter, and the choices she has recently made. I find myself double guessing myself, and questioning my parenting the past 18 years. I know that I am a great mother, and have done my best over the years, but when truly knows right from wrong in the situation, it just baffles me. She is aware that I am disappointed in her, and she thinks “sorry” is going to make a difference. Yes, she can be sorry, but owning up to it and showing me she is sorry is different. Thinking about the situation stresses me out and makes my blood boil. I just want to shake her and give her a wake up call. She wants to be independent, grown up, and treated like an adult. I just want to laugh and say “yeah right” as she has no clue. I know she is going to fall many times before she rises, and I knew this. I just thought it wouldn’t be on my watch, and it would be for something more serious. I am hoping that she really thinks about what I had to say to her, she learns a valuable lesson, and she can move on from this stronger and know that I am still her Mama, and I am responsible for her until she graduates high school. I feel like I am supposed to feel sorry for her that I was SO strict on her, and gave her a big lecture on my.02 on the situation. Honestly, I am not sorry, and I hope she is severely pissed off at me and thinks I am the worst thing ever I know those feelings won’t last forever, and she will get over it, pass go and collect $200. But really, I just want her to know how much I care about her, how important she is to me, and how far in life I want her to go. I want her to know I have always valued her as a human, child, and friend. I am hard on her because I love her, and cherish her. I want her to know that if she were to ever read this in life, that she knows how I felt about this particular situation and where I stood. I know she is better than this, will be better than this, and will rise to show me that I can trust her again, and I know she does respect me.
(I felt I needed to blog about this as it was fresh on my mind, and I am trying to keep my blog current to my life. I want my followers to know me on all aspects of life, and that this is my life.)
Sunday, March 12, 2017
3/12/17
Hello!! It's been well over a month since I last blogged, and well again no real reason as to why I do not keep with it, and come back regularly to update and just write all my feelings down. I think part of the reason I do not post more often is I do not know who really reads my blog anymore, or keeps up with it. I do not think my audience is big, not that it really matters. I made this blog years ago for myself, and memories to look back on. I am kicking myself now that I didn't keep up, and am making a promise to myself to do so. I want to be able to look back on my blog, and read some amazing memories, and share my thoughts and feelings with others. I want it to be a place that if something ever happens to me that my Lil Ladies, husband, friends, and family can see how I felt about life, them, and everything inbetween. I have learned lately that life is really short, and anything can happen in a blink of an eye. We truly take like for granted, and I know that I need to take it more seriously in some aspects, hence why I want to make that promise to myself to do a better job at blogging and writing down stuff that happens or is on my mind, even if I am the only one that reads it. I am not going to be terribly concerned with the grammar and sentence structure, yet along paragraph structure, as it is not my strong area. To all that know me know this is a true statement and my mama would be the first to tell you it is her #1 pet peeve about me. She is the grammar/english nazi, one trait I did not pick up from her. haha!
So much has happened since 2017 has begun. I feel like my life is coming together nicely for me, and I am not having so many dark days like I was in mid 2016. Don't get me wrong, I am still without my husband at home, and I desperately want him back home, but I am done "begging" and "pleading" with him. He knows how I feel, he knows what I want, and it up to him to decide what he wants in his life, and if he wants to come home and make a 100% go with his family. Don't get me wrong, we are doing awesome, and I see a major difference in him. He is really working on himself, and I see major progress. I honestly didn't think we would make it this far, and I would be dealing with the D word, but complete opposite. He is friendly, talkative, more affectionate and we are doing more together as a couple and family. Truly stepped up his game. We are also communicating better, and able to work through things if need be. I am still fairly quiet around him, picking my battles and watching what I say. I dont want to "rock the boat" if it doesnt need to be rocked, and just deal with a lot myself. I know it isn't fair to me, but honestly not worth the struggle or issues with him. I guess its part of being the bigger person in a marriage. We will see what happens. I can tell you that we will be spending a lot of time together in the future, as we have embarked on a new adventure. An adventure that we have been discussing for 2 years. 2 years of many talks, watching videos, and finally taking the plunge to do!! I am sure you are wondering what I am talking about, haha! Guess I will be sharing that adventure soon, but first I want to get caught up with my life so you all know whats going on, and then I can express myself freely on any and all subjects.
Lets see, an update on myself and Lil Ladies!! We are in countdown mode for Sierra's graduation- May 22!! How did this date come up so fast?? She is ready for highschool to be behind her and for her future to start. She has been enjoying time with her friends, and has really become close with a sweet girl, whom she has known her entire life. Crazy how long they waited to come close. Sierra has been very busy with finishing up the yearbook as it has been her baby all year. She is the editor of the book, and honestly has spent MANY hours making it perfect, and is proud of herself. I am proud of her for taking on such a big project, I hope she continues to work on her yearbook skills at college. Did I mention that she was accepted to her #1 choice, Alvernia University?? She will be living at home with my Mama, and just be a commuter which I think she will like better than living on campus. Sierra attempted to apply to the Doctorate of Physical Therapy program, but needs a better GPA to gain acceptance. We knew it was slim, but she will be able to apply her Sophomore year when she claims her major. She will start as a Biology major!! She will be auditioning for the dance team, try outs in April. She is excited about this. We have her Acceptance day on 3/18, the first official start to her Freshman year!! :) Prom is coming up as well, her dress it purchased, just need to get it altered.
Micaela is growing up fast, and almost finished her 8th grade year!! She is excelling in her classes and has excellent marks, high honors. She works hard for her grades, and obviously shows :) She continues to be involved with 4H, and enjoys herself. She is the secretary for her club, and has come to realize it is a lot of work, but something she enjoys. She is also involved with Horse Bowl, but not as excited as she was the 2 years before. She is going to finish the season out, but has no idea if/when she is going to States for competition. She participated last year, and I was able to attend with her. If she goes this year, her dad will be going. She continues her riding lessons, and has been leasing the horse she rides. His name is Digger, and the bond they have is good. He challenges her, and it is what she needs. Unfortunately she hasn't been riding as much due to the cold weather, and timing of events occurring. Hopefully the weather will warm up soon and she can ride several times a week. Micaela has also taken up tumbling, and takes a weekly private class. A workout indeed! She enjoys flipping and doing acrobats, so why not! She is involved with the school play this year for middle school. They are doing Aladdin Junior, and she has the part of the Magic Carpet, totally fit for Micaela!! LOL. She seems to enjoy doing this with her friends. Soccer season starts as well, and I am sure she will make the team! She will be a busy girl, but if anyone knows Micaela, she is completely capable of handling all of it. Words can not express how proud I am of Micaela, and all her accomplishments. She truly amazes me in all she does, and I know I do not tell her enough. She deserves so much more recognition than I give her, and soon I need to let her know just how proud I am, and how talented she is. Its hard being the middle child with having and older sister who is involved with just as much and a younger sister who needs me a lot, and has alot of medical appts. My heart breaks as I can't spend as much time with her as I want. Ok, I got extremely side tracked with my updates, and am inserting thoughts where they do not belong. :)
Anyways, we just got back from having some ice cream as a family from Dairy Queen. Alyssa is in bed due to the time change, and was getting sleepy. I am winding down for the evening and spending time with Ian and watching You Tube videos on how to make sailing pillows! A great Sunday evening, lol.. I will share the rest of my update tomm and make sure I touch on: Alyssa, my SIL's sudden death, and the impact it has had on me. I will also share my charity idea.
Sweet dreams!
Hello!! It's been well over a month since I last blogged, and well again no real reason as to why I do not keep with it, and come back regularly to update and just write all my feelings down. I think part of the reason I do not post more often is I do not know who really reads my blog anymore, or keeps up with it. I do not think my audience is big, not that it really matters. I made this blog years ago for myself, and memories to look back on. I am kicking myself now that I didn't keep up, and am making a promise to myself to do so. I want to be able to look back on my blog, and read some amazing memories, and share my thoughts and feelings with others. I want it to be a place that if something ever happens to me that my Lil Ladies, husband, friends, and family can see how I felt about life, them, and everything inbetween. I have learned lately that life is really short, and anything can happen in a blink of an eye. We truly take like for granted, and I know that I need to take it more seriously in some aspects, hence why I want to make that promise to myself to do a better job at blogging and writing down stuff that happens or is on my mind, even if I am the only one that reads it. I am not going to be terribly concerned with the grammar and sentence structure, yet along paragraph structure, as it is not my strong area. To all that know me know this is a true statement and my mama would be the first to tell you it is her #1 pet peeve about me. She is the grammar/english nazi, one trait I did not pick up from her. haha!
So much has happened since 2017 has begun. I feel like my life is coming together nicely for me, and I am not having so many dark days like I was in mid 2016. Don't get me wrong, I am still without my husband at home, and I desperately want him back home, but I am done "begging" and "pleading" with him. He knows how I feel, he knows what I want, and it up to him to decide what he wants in his life, and if he wants to come home and make a 100% go with his family. Don't get me wrong, we are doing awesome, and I see a major difference in him. He is really working on himself, and I see major progress. I honestly didn't think we would make it this far, and I would be dealing with the D word, but complete opposite. He is friendly, talkative, more affectionate and we are doing more together as a couple and family. Truly stepped up his game. We are also communicating better, and able to work through things if need be. I am still fairly quiet around him, picking my battles and watching what I say. I dont want to "rock the boat" if it doesnt need to be rocked, and just deal with a lot myself. I know it isn't fair to me, but honestly not worth the struggle or issues with him. I guess its part of being the bigger person in a marriage. We will see what happens. I can tell you that we will be spending a lot of time together in the future, as we have embarked on a new adventure. An adventure that we have been discussing for 2 years. 2 years of many talks, watching videos, and finally taking the plunge to do!! I am sure you are wondering what I am talking about, haha! Guess I will be sharing that adventure soon, but first I want to get caught up with my life so you all know whats going on, and then I can express myself freely on any and all subjects.
Lets see, an update on myself and Lil Ladies!! We are in countdown mode for Sierra's graduation- May 22!! How did this date come up so fast?? She is ready for highschool to be behind her and for her future to start. She has been enjoying time with her friends, and has really become close with a sweet girl, whom she has known her entire life. Crazy how long they waited to come close. Sierra has been very busy with finishing up the yearbook as it has been her baby all year. She is the editor of the book, and honestly has spent MANY hours making it perfect, and is proud of herself. I am proud of her for taking on such a big project, I hope she continues to work on her yearbook skills at college. Did I mention that she was accepted to her #1 choice, Alvernia University?? She will be living at home with my Mama, and just be a commuter which I think she will like better than living on campus. Sierra attempted to apply to the Doctorate of Physical Therapy program, but needs a better GPA to gain acceptance. We knew it was slim, but she will be able to apply her Sophomore year when she claims her major. She will start as a Biology major!! She will be auditioning for the dance team, try outs in April. She is excited about this. We have her Acceptance day on 3/18, the first official start to her Freshman year!! :) Prom is coming up as well, her dress it purchased, just need to get it altered.
Micaela is growing up fast, and almost finished her 8th grade year!! She is excelling in her classes and has excellent marks, high honors. She works hard for her grades, and obviously shows :) She continues to be involved with 4H, and enjoys herself. She is the secretary for her club, and has come to realize it is a lot of work, but something she enjoys. She is also involved with Horse Bowl, but not as excited as she was the 2 years before. She is going to finish the season out, but has no idea if/when she is going to States for competition. She participated last year, and I was able to attend with her. If she goes this year, her dad will be going. She continues her riding lessons, and has been leasing the horse she rides. His name is Digger, and the bond they have is good. He challenges her, and it is what she needs. Unfortunately she hasn't been riding as much due to the cold weather, and timing of events occurring. Hopefully the weather will warm up soon and she can ride several times a week. Micaela has also taken up tumbling, and takes a weekly private class. A workout indeed! She enjoys flipping and doing acrobats, so why not! She is involved with the school play this year for middle school. They are doing Aladdin Junior, and she has the part of the Magic Carpet, totally fit for Micaela!! LOL. She seems to enjoy doing this with her friends. Soccer season starts as well, and I am sure she will make the team! She will be a busy girl, but if anyone knows Micaela, she is completely capable of handling all of it. Words can not express how proud I am of Micaela, and all her accomplishments. She truly amazes me in all she does, and I know I do not tell her enough. She deserves so much more recognition than I give her, and soon I need to let her know just how proud I am, and how talented she is. Its hard being the middle child with having and older sister who is involved with just as much and a younger sister who needs me a lot, and has alot of medical appts. My heart breaks as I can't spend as much time with her as I want. Ok, I got extremely side tracked with my updates, and am inserting thoughts where they do not belong. :)
Anyways, we just got back from having some ice cream as a family from Dairy Queen. Alyssa is in bed due to the time change, and was getting sleepy. I am winding down for the evening and spending time with Ian and watching You Tube videos on how to make sailing pillows! A great Sunday evening, lol.. I will share the rest of my update tomm and make sure I touch on: Alyssa, my SIL's sudden death, and the impact it has had on me. I will also share my charity idea.
Sweet dreams!
Thursday, February 2, 2017
2/2/17
It's Groundhog's Day, yippee!!! Not really, but we do have 6 more weeks of Winter as Phi saw his shadow!!! I did watch Fox and Friends this morning like I always do, and noticed Phil is not suffering on any level of being hungry- quite the plumpy groundhog!! I just finished my cup of hot chocolate and am sitting here watching Wife Swap on TV and enjoying the simplicity of the 4 month old little girl I watch. She is happily playing with wipes as she appears to enjoy the sound it gives as she plays with it in her hands!! I wish it were this simple raising teenage girls!! Seems I am not doing anything right with my oldest, Sierra. Seems once she turned 18 she feels entitled and takes it to a whole new level. I am not sure where she thinks its okay to disrespect adults and treat them in a rude manner. I have not raised her to be like this, and just hurts me to know she is like this. Yesterday she walked out of her math class because she was frustrated and angry with the teacher. She didn't even bother to excuse herself, and well it turned into a situation. Ugh!! Lets see if she apologizes to the teacher today as instructed by me. I told her she needs to change her ways as this isn't okay, and it reflects me as I am the only one who raised her to have good morals and values. Disrespecting any adult older than her is NOT okay. Makes me wonder where I possibily went wrong and what I need to do to show her the errors in her ways. I have been feeling a bit guilty and upset at not being able to spend quality time with my middle daughter due to my work schedule in the evenings and her time spent at her dad's. I try to give her all the attention I can when I am with her, but its hard. Completely and utterly sucks. I am batting a dead end as I can't change my work schedule to do needing the money, and have a commitment to the family. Its also hard as she is also a teenager. This is just an area of my life I want to fix, BIG TIME! I just miss her! I also am missing my husband alot. Things are much better, and we have made vast improvements in our time spent together and communication. I have no idea what his thoughts are, but I know that he must be thinking positive things as he seems to be more interested. I do not even wish to have to think like this, it is my husband and he does belong home. I want him home more than anything.. Just missing him makes my heart ache and daydream even more of the future I want with him and our family. We can do this, I truly believe. He just needs to agree and come home! Thinking about this too much depresses me, and unfortunately that seems to be the norm a few times throughout the day.
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