Two rallies under my belt.

I went to my second Vote Yes on Prop. 8 rally tonight. These rallies are SO out of my comfort zone. Couldn't I just bake cookies? I LIKE baking cookies. I can feel my heart race whenever people come over to yell at us and tell us what evil people we are. Every time someone would yell out "F-You". I would just reply. "No thanks! I'm good!" Then another guy who was stopped at the traffic light asked me, "Why shouldn't gays be allowed to get married and be happy?" I said, "Whoever said that MARRIAGE made ANYONE happy? You want happiness? That's what CHOCOLATE is for my friend!"

Makes Me Sad

I didn't realize until today that Google along with Apple are against Prop. 8. I'm not surprised, just sad. Is there anyone or any company out there that is well known who is NOT afraid to come out and say that they're for traditional marriage? I've already told Scott that if prop. 8 doesn't pass I will pull my kids out and home school the moment I get the first inkling that they are being taught sin. Sorry if coming right out and saying what I think offends anyone. Wait a minute! I'm not sorry! If someone finds what I think offensive, then that is THEIR problem, not mine. We fought this same battle in Nevada and in New Hampshire, but this time it's different. This time it feels less like a battle and more like a war. I would like to quote Gordon B. Hinckley from the Sept. 2004 Ensign. "Legal restraints against deviant moral behavior are eroding under legislative enactments and court opinions. This is done in the name of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of choice in so-called personal matters. But the bitter fruit of these so-called freedoms has been enslavement to debauching habits and behavior that leads only to destruction. A prophet, speaking long ago, aptly described the process when he said, "And thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell." (2 Nephi 28:21) Amen.

I can get through this!...right?

I know that God says he will not give us more than we can handle. That being said, I must have some kind of inner strength that I'm not even aware of. Never mind that last Monday while I was at a Vote Yes on Prop. 8 rally, our group was flipped off, swore at and had garbage tossed at us. Actually THAT part was kind of funny because the girl who threw the garbage out her car window, lost control of her car and hit the curb bending her rim and blowing out her tire. One of the guys in our group went over to see if she was alright and though she didn't apologize for throwing trash, her attitude went from anger to that of being humble in the time of about a minute. In fact, we had many more people give us a thumbs up sign of approval than we middle fingers of non-approval. Still, I can handle people yelling junk at me when I know in my heart that what I'm doing is right. I don't even know them, so who cares! Where I have about reached my limit is in my personal life. I think everyone is aware of Richard and how challenging he can be. 2 Sundays ago, I was sitting in my bathroom sobbing uncontrollably. Scott asked me if there was anything he could do. I said, "How about you turn the clock back 16 years!" Don't get me wrong, I would still have married Scott and had our children. But I would have been a tyrant when it came to getting Richard the proper diagnosis earlier than he did. I knew by the time he was 9 months old that something was not right and was brushed off by his pediatrician. I brought my concerns to the doctor again when he was 14 months old and was assured that he was just fine. I didn't know anything about autism at that point. All I knew about it is that my cousin was autistic and severely mentally retarded and I knew that Richard was not like my cousin. When your child will not hold eye contact with you. When your child starts screaming at a high pitch and YOU can't figure out why. When the only play your child engages in is lining items up in a straight line according to size. When the only time your child uses words is when he/she repeats what you said. THAT is NOT FINE. I don't care what the doctor says. I diagnosed Richard myself as autistic by the time he was 4 years old. It took the specialists until he was 7 years old to diagnose him as A-typical autistic with Asperger like symptoms. By then he had already gone through a year of special pre-k and was mainstreamed into 1st grade with a very weak IEP (individualized education plan). In hindsight he should have been in a restricted school setting with intensive therapy. I remember taking Richard to his first back to school night and hearing a girl say to her mom as she pointed in our direction, "That's the BAD kid. He yells all the time." My heart broke. By the time Richard was about 8 years old, he could tell me things that were happening at school. How the boys would follow him into the bathroom and bang on the stall doors and yell at him "Hey Richard!! What's the matter?!! Does THIS bother you?!!", to hear him scream and cry. We also found out why he was coming home with bruises on his back. This was because the boys would form a semi-circle around him by the fence. Then push him to the ground and kick him because they thought they could get away with it. They did until I finally got out of Richard what was going on and demanded that the school staff watch him on the playground to see what was going on. It took Scott and I until he got an official, clinical diagnosis to light a fire under us in getting Richard the resources he needed and was entitled to through the school district. By the way, if you have an autistic child and live in Las Vegas, NV? MOVE!! California is better than NV, but I highly recommend New Hampshire where we lived for 2 1/2 years and long to go back to more than words can tell. Even though we got a late start in getting Richard the attention he needed. I feel like we've tried our best to make up for it. The thing now is this; Richard is now an autistic with asperger like symptoms, is bipolar AND a teenager. This combination is making life very hard for he and our entire family. The past two weeks have been especially difficult. Richards' impulse control has been zero and his anger/rage has been at plus 10! He has been getting into fights at school and taking off without a word to anyone. The other day he was missing for nearly an hour and a half. His doctor has added another medication to take with the one he is already on and said that we should see some kind of change(hopefully for the better) after 3 or 4 days. He had his first dose on Thursday night. Scott worked from home on Friday so that we could keep Richard home. He had gotten into another fight the day before and was told that if he put his hands on another student once more that he would be suspended. The kids don't have school on Monday so that will give him 5 days for the new medication to work before he heads back to school. I realize that many of my friends read my blog. I would ask you not to tell Richard that you read about him and to use discretion when talking to your kids, etc... I have the best friends and family that anyone could ask for. At this time, I'm asking "You" my friends and family to mention Richard in your prayers and I will continue to pray for Richard and for the inner strength I apparently have somewhere deep inside to manifest itself to get me through this and to keep going. Oh yeah, and Vote Yes on Prop. 8!!

My house,my home

Today was THE best! My family stayed home with me and cleaned the house! OK, so it wasn't voluntary. I announced this morning that there would be no TV, no computer time, no reading and no mowing the lawn until the entire house was cleaned. I work outside the home now and sad to say, it shows. I leave for work before Jason and Caroline leave for school. This means that poor Caroline sometimes has to do her own hair. Although I finish my job at 11:15, most days J and C's school need me to monitor the playground during lunch recess. The extra money is nice, but by the time I finish there at 1:15, it's grab lunch, rotate laundry, check and answer emails, then do the carpool for the high school bunch. At least I only have carpool 3 days a week. When the kids and I get home, it's homework,get dinner going, and rotate laundry again. I've also been so tired for quite awhile now. I went to the doctor and they ran some blood work on me. I still have to go back and see if it showed anything. I'm also scheduled to visit a clinic for a sleep study on Dec. 12th. I wake up on average about 8 to 10 times a night. I don't know WHAT is up with me! So anyhow, just about everyone pitched in and the house looks great! Scott even scrubbed our shower! What a guy! The house isn't QUITE the way I want it. Don't get me wrong. I am a strong supporter of Prop. 8 and I'm glad that Scott is so involved. This issue is more important than the presidential election. If we don't like the President, the longest we have to suffer is 8 years. However, if prop. 8 doesn't pass, the damage will be permanent. On the downside, and I'm being petty here, all of the prop. 8 stuff has taken over my living room. I'm hoping that THIS is the reason we are here and that WHEN prop. 8 passes, we can finally go back home. It's no secret I miss New Hampshire. I miss the seasons, our friends and our favorite restaurants. But I also miss my slower pace of life. My kids were involved in various activities there, but it wasn't the rat race that it is here. I was ABLE to stay home and take care of it and my family. I guess I'm what they call a throwback. I don't need a career to be fulfilled. I loved staying home and making it one. I loved being available to my husband and kids at a moments notice. I loved having hot cocoa and cinnamon & sugar biscuits waiting for my kids when they got home from school in the fall and winter months. I loved cleaning my house and planning meals and inviting friends over for dinner and get togethers often. I loved going to bed at night and not stressing about all the STUFF I had to do the next day. Because I didn't have to do STUFF. I just had to take care of my family. How's that for a whine-fest? No really, today WAS a good day! I need to focus on the joy right? I have my family and a great ward family. For these I am truly thankful. Even if I am in California.

Pix Of The Family

Richard

Aubree

Jason

Caroline

Me & Scott

I can't believe I'm saying this.

Last night for dinner we had Popeye's Fried Chicken. There were a couple of pieces left over because Jason doesn't care for chicken. True to form, I had to keep chasing Richard out of the kitchen after dinner because he wanted to swipe the last of the chicken for himself. I'm really trying to watch his diet and I feel more like a warden than a mother most times. Finally, Richard went to bed. However, about 15 minutes later he comes out in his t-shirt and boxers heading for the kitchen. I asked him what he needed. He said that he wanted a glass of water. This he did, but I noticed on his way back to his room that he had his sheet with him and was holding it in front of himself. I stood up and he insisted that I didn't need to follow him to his room to tuck him in. Yes, I STILL tuck my kids in! Anyhow, I said that I was already up and I didn't mind tucking him in at all. I then asked him what he was hiding behind the sheet. "Nothing", he said. "But really Mom, you DON'T have to follow me to my room!" Again, I explained that I was already up and ready to tuck him in for the night. I pulled the sheet away from him and could tell that he was hiding something inside his boxers. After some arguing, I discovered that he had shoved a piece of fried chicken in his boxer shorts! After a heavy sigh I said, "You know Richard. When I gave birth to you and held you in my arms, there were many things that went through my mind. Things that I could see myself saying to you in the future. NEVER in my freakiest dreams did I EVER think that I would hear myself say, "Richard, get that chicken out of your underwear!!""

Honesty? Are you talking to ME?

So our landlady sent over another guy to check out our AC unit. He came up with the same diagnosis as the first guy. Fan motor and compressor are out and the unit needs to be replaced. She's really put out because the warranty expired on it two months ago. I can understand her not being happy about that. But she actually asked the AC guy to back her up in her lie, changing the date of the warranty. I was proud of the AC guy though. He told her no, that he would not be comfortable doing that. She told him that she would call the other AC guy back and ask him if he could help her with that. The guy then told her, "Please, don't do that. You'll feel shame if you do that. It's not right. It's not right to lie. It's not right to break the law." I was so impressed! Seems like so many people are looking to get something for nothing. Also, I don't think I've ever heard someone talk to another person so plainly about honesty before. Made me feel good to witness it. Anyhow, we still have no AC, but the temp has dropped enough so that it's bearable at least. We might even get rain on Saturday. That would be a great birthday present for Scott!

No AC. Not YET anyhow!

OH was I mistaken! Our landlady just cannot believe that the fan motor AND the compressor are both out on our AC unit. No, no, no. She is sending out ANOTHER guy to look at it tomorrow. She insists that we just need to throw the breaker. You know, because Scott, myself, her husband and the guy she sent out today must not have done it right when we tried it NINE THOUSAND TIMES EACH! So no AC tomorrow either. That will only make five days without it. UGHHHH!

Delayed Venting

I know this is late, but I just wanted to vent about something. It bugs me how the media is more concerned about Palin's abilities to be our veep, than they are about Obama's abilities to actually run the country. I saw a clip of an interview with Palin where Katie Couric kept asking her in a very condescending way, how does running (I'm paraphrasing here) a state that borders Canada and Russia give you experience on foreign relations? It also bothered me that Palin was too soft with her answer. If it were me, I would have said to Katie, "Are you freakin kidding me?! I don't know what life is like in "Katie-Land", but I actually communicate with my neighbors! Keeping on good terms with your neighbors and knowing what they're up to is all part of keeping the peace in the neighborhood! So stop asking me such stupid questions or I'll say sputum right here and now! And don't even THINK of slapping ME unless you're ready to roll! (For those not aware, Katie Couric smacked a guy at CBS because he said that word in her presence). I would never make it in politics. I don't say EVERYTHING on my mind, but I do tend to say more than people are comfortable hearing.LOL OK, done venting. On to happy news. Though the temps have been 100 plus degrees these past few days and we have not had any AC to speak of. Tomorrow, we SHOULD be getting a new AC unit! Woo Hoo!!!