feeling pretty stessed over EOYs and tired and lazy
listening to Don't Bother, Shakira

Today was pretty dreary and boring. With the help of the rain that droppeth from heaven upon the place beneath, it was dreary, boring AND wet. Well it was the first time I got to utilise my super slim and sleek umbrella.

ARGH I should totally be studying geog now what am I doing here. I had lots of stuff to write about just now but I suddenly mindblanked. huh. oh that renminds me. we realised yesterday when doing the humour scale thing in English that when people laugh they don't actually go hahaha but more of a hur hur hur. don't believe try it. haha this is really random. okay i have decided this post will be a random post, meaning I will write anything that comes to mind.

I can't stand it today really was boring. And i'm feeling guilty cos the stack of geog notes is like, glaring really angrily at me now. I want to sleep.

Okay fine I'm coming geog can't you just wait a little?


WHOO. new blog! haven't disclosed the URL to anyone yet cos i don't want it to be seen yet. looks terrible cos the skin I chose died on me and couldnt be seen. Will try again. Currently too lazy. Anyway I owe my blog a lot of entries. havent blogged for more than half a year. Was too lazy. Got lots on my mind now and I wanna get it all down in words before i forget what I want to say. The posts on the old blog was a different me. I feel like i'm someone else when I read what I posted. Partly the reason why I wanna set up a new blog. I think I've really changed this year. Got a lot closer to a few friends, got more religious after Buddhist camp, got a lot more emotional this year. I've cried so much this year. And badly too. In the past I was emotional but not that bad. I never tried to hold back tears but this year I did. not that I actually succeeded. I realise that even when I hold back my tears, even when I don't cry when I felt like crying, at night, under the sheets, before sleeping, the tears come. Oh no I don't want this blog to become another angst-filled depressive blog. I know I've been having mood swings. It scares me sometimes. butI'm growing. I feel like I've grown so much. I think the June holidays changed me. So much happened during the holidays. Got closer to friends, got obsessed [it will NEVER happen again RIGHT HUIYI], got to respect and trust my religion more, got to appreciate music more. good music. I know last year I said that I wanted and needed to be in oneohone. But I'm really glad I came to 204. I got to know so many people deeper, better. Changed impressions, got closer, made friends. I'm so thankful for the friends i've made this year. You all made every unbearable day at school a day to look forward to. And i'm really really happy cos now I know how much it means for friends to be there for you when you need them. I'm really happy. And I can't bear for the end of the year to come because I won't be in the same class as so many of my close friends. I'm scared. Really scared. Because I've seen how friends can go from your closest soulmate to practically a stranger you say hi and bye to when you're not in the same class. People say that its not true. That true friendship has no boundaries and that it doesn't mean anything if you're in different classes. i used to believe that but now I'm not so sure. Because all it takes is time. Creepy, sneaky time. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. At least not for me. Not from my experience. Well perhaps initially. But what happens when you meet new people? Exciting people? Interesting people? Well I dont believe that friends can be replaced but perhaps, there might be some... shifting of position. Perhaps i'm over-reacting. Thinking too much. But I'm really loving every moment i spend with my dear friends now and I don't want to lose this. I've seen for myself, experienced for myself how people start drifting apart, start running out of topics to talk about. And those uncomfortable silences. Well i wont say any of my friends and I actually ran out of topics to talk about but you can feel it when you're not as close to someone as before. I cried last year during the graduation ceremony for sec fours. This year I'll cry harder. because i'll miss my friends and the sec fours. Tribune will be under us. I'm scared cos we've always been under the wing of the sec fours. Will we know what to do? Besides, I'm in exco now and I'm worried that I'm not committing enough time and effort to tribune. Well I was already in exco last year but this time its for real. A real leadership position. Welfare head might not be a VERY important position but its important enough for me to get worried. I'm not even sure if I should be given the privelege to take responsibility. Speaking of responsibility. I dont want what happened to the camp to happen again. This time its gonna work out. The camp proposal will be approved and submitted on time. I hope. Its all on me. I need the stress. sounds strange but people like me work well under stress like that. Responsibility. I'm tired. Don't want to reflect anymore.

Let's talk about the September holidays. Planned a timetable like what my aunt suggested. But i overestimated myself on homework. Measured appropriate times for all other revision but I set myself only one day to complete my homework. Now I'm left with incomplete homework and pretty complete revision. Cos I decided to continue with the original schedule in case I lagged. And Math. I need to revise math but when i look at those numbers and shapes my mind refuses to think. I know I've got to do it. And I will. I will.
Yesterday, went out with eenette kristie and huiyi. we watched No Reservations. Such a sweet movie! Took neoprints of course. We then went shopping in Heeren. Today, watched Hairspray with huiyi amanda tiffany debbie annd some of amanda's ex-classmates. Hairspray's a good movie. And Zac Efron IS cute. Then we had a crazy time at the playground place. its a MODERN playground okay. Then huiyi amanda and i got so crazy spinning round and round in the metal device. I sound really listless don't I? but i had fun :)

School's reopening. And I'm dreading it.

This is a really long post isn't it. Well, i've got to make up for what I owed.