Confusion.Guilt.Sad.

Haih. Just when things started to look brighter. Something else happens. I feel guilty. Though i'm not sure why. Maybe i shouldnt have accepted it? Would i feel better then? But won't the other person be totally hurt and would keep wondering why? How am i supposed to explain it?

Im sad. Why? Haha good question. Was a little high for a while today. Had fun being high. hehe. Things seem like they're going back to normal. I think. Oh well, i guess i just have to let things be. It's hopeless trying too hard. What's the point of impressing the whole world? As long as im happy, that's more than enough.

Life's gooood. Except for certain things. YES im still confused, guilty, sad. But WHO CARES? No one has to know exactly why i feel that way.

Eekk!!I think i've been singing too much. Haha. When i try to sing at home, eheh.. ever since saturday, its been like this. *thx loads sam* haha. can't blame sam either. It was fun. Though the 'Devotion' was super high(4 gurls...)All day, one way, sanctuary is not exactly easy to sing either. Oh well. It was nice. In a way.

I CANT BELIEEEVEE IT! My own brother said some very nice things about me! He doesn't praise people unless he feels they really deserve it. His standards are very high. Trust me i know. Just thinking about what he said makes me real happy. =) I mean like OH MY GOSH.
(i wonder what he will say if he reads this.) Well, gor, if u do read this, and you are wondering how i know you talked about me behind my back,muahahah... i have my ways. Haha.

Hmm... i think this is long enough for now. *super bored that's why i'm blogging.*

TTFN(lol)

Wow...

Hmm.Just remembered i had a blog.haha..blur right?Well,i deleted all my old posts.So yeah,starting anew. Haha. Im in such a good mood right now! Everything's going great. Not everything.. but i don't really need things like THAT in my life. So HAH! =)

I admit my mood's been horrible lately. Not sure if the bad mood-ness will return. I have a feeling it will. Oh well. I guess i should just enjoy all the nice and syoking stuff that's been happening eh? Forget all the horrible crap. Be optimistic. Yeaahhh... XD

I don't usually blog(unlike SOME people...) just don't have the time. And even when i do, i prefer to do other things. But my mood's been umm crappy lately, so.... blogging's the only thing i can do to like lepaskan geram or whatever. I mean, i can't like scream right? Goshh...i can imagine my parents and bro's reaction if i do. FUNNY.

I really miss the old me. I want the past to return. Eventhough i KNOW i should look forward and not backward, it's hard sometimes you know? I want to be cheerful all the time. Smiles all the way. Aih.

Wanna know why i don't care sometimes? Hmm... i dunno. Maybe it's because i have experienced things when i care too much. I don't want to feel like that anymore. I want to care. But considering the things that have happened, it's gonna be really tough.

Many times i ask God 2 show me that people do care for me. And then i think why am i so blind? I mean people DO care. I have a great family, i have great friends. So maybe not everyone likes me for ME. But i don't care about people like that. What's the point? Ok, maybe the people who are the closest to me hurt me, but it's easy to forgive them. I don't NEED everyone to like me. Just one person is good enough. I know God has great things planned for me. He has really helped me through a lot. Like in the movie, "the ultimate gift"(haha) the guy didnt have one true friend. And when he found just ONE, it was like WOW. Maybe i can count the number of people i can really call true friends with ONE hand. That's more than enough for me.

Before i continue, i just wanna say sorry if my mood's been you know,crappy. And if i've acted crappy. Or if i've hurt anyone. Sorry. Loads of things been happening lately. Things(people)that have been worrying me and all.(realise that my pimples are getting more by the second?haha) I dunno....

Eek... i've blogged so much. Cool..haha.. I think i should end now. Yaya i can be sooo longwinded at times...haha..

*"the ultimate gift" is seriously a nice movie..!i expected it to be boring, but when i watched it, NICEEE....!!(the guy soo yeng!)

Signing out,
Jeanli