Change

Today was one of those days when you realize you have discovered something almost life changing. I have been struggling with my youngest child. Warrant, she is only three, but demonic all the same. As hard as it is to admit, as well as publicly, I haven't really enjoyed her. She really has been a challenge for me since the day she was born.

I find myself often saying things like, " I'm going to make her if it kills me ( or her), or " she will never change", and my favorite, " I did nothing to deserve her".  Well, honestly I think I do deserve her.

Don't you just love those "aha" moments that the Lord places in your mind, with the twinge in your heart to back it up? I had more than one of those today in regards to my little Savanah. The first was when after venting to my sister, she shared with me something her husband had counseled her in regards to one of her children. I paraphrase, " It is just like a marriage. You can't make them change, but you can change to make the relationship better. Once you change, they change too". That stuck a bell for me. It was a road I came to in my own marriage at one point and knew that what was being said was true, and have experienced the outcome of such a change.

The 2nd was while counseling with my husband about what I can do to change, to like my child. He stated, " she will grow out of it. You both will learn and will love each other for it". I have heard him say something to this affect many times, but for some reason this time was different. I have always thought of parents raising the child, but today....I think Savanah was sent to raise me. It was kind of a humbling experience for me this evening. One of those, " ok, I get it, and I feel kinda foolish now" feelings. Yes, I am the mother, I am expected to parent her and raise her, but in a very real sense SHE is changing me. At first I have allowed it to change me in a not so fantastic way, but now I understand. Thank you Father for sending me Savanah. And thank you Savanah for just being the little you that you are.

Busy Busy Busy

For the few faithful followers that I have, I have been focusing much of my attention on the development of my center. I am tracking my progress and feelings on my other blog. Please come visit that page too.

http://www.agreaterhope.blogspot.com/



Words

"We talk a great deal about the healing power of modern wonder drugs and how effective they can be in wiping out disease and helping heal our crippled bodies, but a few words of encouragement, a warm expression of confidence, or some words of deserved appreciation can accomplish even greater miracles. A few words of love can often heal the scars on one's soul. There are words of faith, words of goodwill, and words of righteousness, which, if properly used, can lift us up to God.

Many people are actually starving to death for a few words of appreciation. They would be wonderfully strengthened if someone would ask them their opinion or how they felt on some important or unimportant subject. Sometimes we can't bring ourselves to say words of praise, even though our lives depend on it, as indeed they often do." Sterling W. Sill

How different the world may be if a few kind words were spoken to all everyday. I know in my own life that I hold myself a little higher, feel a little lighter, and look at myself differently, when words of kindness or appreciation is shown. It doesn't have to be extravagant, lengthy or embellished, just genuine and true. I also know the feeling associated with words of discouragement, ill speaking, violence, hate, and foul language. It is capable of making you weep, sick, and feeling sorrowful and full of despair. To this day, I still suffer with some things due to particular "words" that were spoken to me.

I pray that we may all try a little harder to speak words of kindness, That we may all build up rather than tear down. I pray that the words that generate from my mouth are lovely and of good report and that no one will ever say that they have been affected poorly by the words which I have spoken.

FOOTBALL

 Jacob looked me square in the eye (since we do now share the same height) and said, " Mom, I want to play football ". I about wet my pants. My child wants to play football? The child who hates to be hot, the one who whines every time he has to mow the lawn, wants to play ball?

This 12 year old boy is tall, strapping and fairly good looking with a physique perfect for ball. Along with that is a sensitive, emotional boy who can dish it, but can't handle physical aggression very well. 

I did what every good mother would do, I jumped at the chance and immediately drove down to register him to play.  He is committed now and I hope that he learns from this and enjoys being involved in the sport. Plus what boy can live in Texas and not play Ball? Hello? Friday night lights anyone? Everything in Texas is big...football included!

Jacobs revelation has now inspired the entirety of the Heath boys. 2 more came running down the hall yelling at the top of their lungs that they too wanted to play what Jacob was playing.. Neither of them has a clue of what it entailed or what exactly I just told Jacob he could participate in. They just knew that Jacob gets to do something so they want to too; except Gehret just knows he gets to tackle people and really just wants to knock them down. Joseph just doesn't want to be left out, and in the end will do anything if Jacob does it.

Change

Eloquence has never been something that I possess. I often desire the talent for written words; to captivate readers of my simple, unexciting life. However, I will be content on capturing the interest of my children as they look back and read the things of my heart.

Change has been on my mind a great deal lately and what it is that encompasses change.Change is a funny thing and often gone unnoticed,  yet to the one that has changed comes with great humility as well as  satisfaction from the growth that encompasses change for the better. In my own experiences and challenges that I have encountered, I have become a changed woman. In many ways it isn't visable. I am still Sarah, and still carry many of the same attributes and characters that I had once before, but something within me is different. I stand a little taller, more sure of myself; Kinder than before, softer spoken, and quicker to forgive. I am  slower to judge, realizing that I am not even qualified to accurately judge anyone...including myself. There is only one qualified to judge, and I have learned that it is best to leave the judging to Him, or I will be judged harshly.

Life in many ways has been difficult for me, but I am able to stand he with a bright out look on life. I look forward to the things to come. I know that hardship and challenges are part of life and I have learned to welcome them...they have built the character which have made me who I am today. My plans are many, my plans are great and I will stop at nothing to accomplish them. The Lord has blessed me and has opened doorways for me that I never imagined possible. My goal is to help His children; To show them a better path, and to guide them back to Him when all others have given up. I have a great love for my fellow beings and desire to bring them "back home" with me.

My future is bright, and I look forward to the many things to come.

Coffee Break

My intentions before starting this blog was to keep up on it regularly and keep my family and friends abreast of the happenings in my life. Since so much life happens and encompasses much of my time, this has always been a nice way to share with the masses what is going on. But it seems like more and more is piled on and less time is available for the things that I love.

I was recently shown a wonderful example of time and how I viewed my availabe time and how I used it.I was given a jar...a BIG jar; Like the supersized glass jars that pickles come from that you purchase at Sams Club. I was then given several different shapes and colours of balls. Those balls were to represent all the people, activities and duties that comsume my time. I was asked to name each ball, with each ball representing simething or someone that consumed my time. My first thought was " the golf balls (being the biggest) will represent my family because they are the biggest." I then thought to my self, " Crap! That is 7 balls, that will take up more than half of my jar." Needless to say, I chose the golf balls, wrote each of my children and my husbands name on each one and placed them into the jar.

I continued to choose different balls, labeling them with different time robbers on them; school, work, Rehab business start up, housework, tea party group, kids activities. My jar was almost full and I still had balls that I needed to put in. What about my friends, they were in my hand...what ball did I take out to make them fit? Or what about exersize, that is important to me too, what can I remove to fit in exersize? I was not allowed a bigger jar, this is the jar I was given and I needed to make what I had work in that jar work.

As I looked around I saw that many of the others around me were having the same difficulty as I was. Joking, I threw the ball across the room and said, "goodbye my friends!" The others laughed, but then realized that they too had left out their friends...ALL of us had left out our friends.

Are our friends important to us? Of course they are! Why then were they not one of the first balls to go in the jar? The instructor then asked us if we had more room in our jar. All discouraged replied No.

She then replied, "Of course you do." She then pulled out a pot of coffee and poured it into my jar of balls, and filled the "empty" spaces surounding my balls. WOW...I didn't realize all that room I had. She then said to the group, there is always room for coffee with a friend.

What an important lesson that was for me.Friends are so important in ones life, more than we anticipate sometimes. Many of my friends are my family. Family isn't always blood, it is also what you choose it to be. My jar is still not full without them and I would feel empty without them. They too are a priority, they will fit in your jar no matter how full it seems. Although I don't drink coffee, I will always remember that I have time for "coffee" with a friend! Go have some with yours!

My Offspring

Jacob

Hannah

Sabrina

Gehret

Joseph

Savanah

Yes, they are mine so I am naturally biased. However don't let these sweet images fool you.

Jacob is developing into the normal, preteen punk stage. He thinks he is funny, but really he just likes to annoy everyone.

Hannah. What you see is a true and accurate picture. Beautiful both inside and out.

Sabrina. Full of life, full of giggles, and loves to be the center of attention.

Gehret.Sweet as can be, full of love and way too much affection. He didn't want to pose for this picture

Joseph aka Jojo. Just plain full of it. Picture show it all over his face.

Savanah. Don't let this picture fool you. She is a Turd, with a capital T! She is full of it, headstrong, crazy busy, and spoiled rotten...but you just can't help but love her.

I love my babies....even though i want to take them to Mexico and drop them off at an orphanage there every once and awhile =}

A note to the one's who think they are so wise...

Many underestimate the determination and power that I hold within myself. They see kindness, tender hearted, loving, an emotional being, and find that as a weakness; unsuitable in the business world.

You fail to recognize the quiet strength that lies withing, the fire that is fueled by your discouragement, you have not had the occasion yet to experience the fierceness I am capable of expressing, your lack of faith in me only makes me more determined to rise to the occasion; Not for you my friend, but for myself. I have nothing to prove to you... I have enough faith in myself for the whole lot of you.

You will be the one to choose weither or not you stand beside me...I will never be the one to walk away