Check and see

Painful pimple

check

Hair loss

check

Unrequired munching of food

check

Think too much at night.

check

Yup, itu stress sudah datang.

My 3rd of March 2012

=)

It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside

It is back, that feeling.

That feeling, that fear.

That fear that has been with me since secondary school.

That fear which struck me when I was in Form One, where I freaked out because I had to take Chinese, knowing fully well that if I flunked it, I’d drop to the second class, away from my new friends.

That fear, which came back in Form Five in the shape of Add Maths, which I knew I would be barely able to pass in SPM.

That fear, which followed me into Foundation, because I still had to take Maths. It turned me into a sniffling mess after the first test, with the knowledge that if I failed it in the finals, there would be no degree for me until I passed.

That fear, which continued into Degree, in the form of Research Methodology. The horrid calculations and numbers and figures and formulas of that subject were of no help to my mental health and CGPA at all.

And now that fear is back.

That fear, which sent me a waterfall of tears doing one of the assignments.

That fear, that grips me every time I think about the finals.

That fear, reminds me that no matter how far I run, I can’t escape it.

That fear, is now no longer Chinese, Add Maths, Maths or Research Methodology.

That fear has a new name.

Syntax.

"There's always hope"

~Aragorn, LOTR:TTT~

I waaaaannnnnnnnnntttttt!!!

Please please let me somehow get the tickets tomorrow.....

*shuts eyes and hopes very hard*

不要害怕

I have another assignment and presentation nagging in the background and I should be completing them as I'm sitting in UM's cold library.

This past few weeks have been a blur. I don't know where October has gone to. It seems like loads of things have happened (my car overheating and smoking up, for example ==") and I've barely been able to grasp on to everything that has swept past me. Not to mention the amount of money that I've been spending (most of it going to fix my aforementioned sick Warren) =(

There are still loads for me to worry about, like whether I'll get my scholarship, whether I can produce assignments that are worthy of a Masters student, whether my car can continue surviving the harsh, evil driving conditions of KL, whether I will have enough money to get through November....

Oh well....

Leehom was just crooning 不要害怕 to me couple of seconds ago.

I guess I'll listen to him =)

Takutnya... =(

Today I found out the meaning of being so scared that the blood drain out of your face, hands start shaking, teeth start chattering and legs feel wobbly...

May I never need to go through fear of that level again... =\

One day,

if I can ever make it to become a lecturer, I want to be the kind of lecturer that makes my students feel the same way that my lecturers have made me felt.

Planty

Once upon a time, there was a tomato plant.



This plant (lets call it Planty), was not happy with life.

Planty was unhappy with the fact that it was expected to produce tomato fruits. Planty didn’t see the point and purpose in that. Planty hated the fact that it had to work hard at photosynthesis to produce energy for itself and bear tomatoes and then have the tomatoes plucked away, never to be seen again.

So Planty sulked, and grumbled.

What Planty didn’t know that it was just not any tomato plant out in the wild; it was a tomato plant in a Farmer’s garden.

Planty didn’t know that every day, the Farmer watered Planty and his friends. Planty didn’t know that when the weather was too hot, the Farmer made sure that they were given proper shade. Planty didn’t know that the pink things the Farmer flinged at him were fertilizers, stuff that helped it grow big and strong.

Planty was sulking and grumbling too much to notice all these.

Then one day, Planty stopped sulking.

Planty looked around and saw that the water that he needed to drink was given by the Farmer, before he dried and withered in the sun, it was moved to somewhere shaded, the pink things given to it made it feel more energized. Planty also noticed other things. Planty saw that it was planted a certain space away from its friends so that they did not crowd his room to grow. It saw that the Farmer sometimes sprayed it with something unpleasant smelling, not out of spite, but to keep insects away from eating it.

Planty saw all that the Farmer had done (and is still doing) for it.

And suddenly, Planty felt that life was not so bad after all =)

Square Hat Day

I have worn my UTAR square hat.

Yay =)

What on earth have I got myself into?!

was the thought in my head after the orientation today.

Gosh, with the standard in UM, I'd probably not survive my way through my masters. With the very intimidatingly knowledgeable lecturers and professors and Deans and Chancellors, and the emphasis on research quality and with B as the lowest grade that we can get, I had my life snuffed out of me within that few hours spent in campus listening to the various VIPS orientating us.

Still, today wasn't all rainstorms and clouds.

I made a new friend, UM is refreshingly different from UTAR (all old and I quote Derky -haunted, and Huge), and they gave us nice stuff in our goodie bags =D

Hmm...

Now I hope the nice stuff in the goodie bag can bribe me into working hard =(

Careful ah....

"I tell you honestly, here is not really a safe place."

"Lock your doors properly ah..."

"Must lock all the doors."

"The house next door got burned before."

"The previous tenant of your room got mugged."

"Actually here is not a safe place."

"Upstairs got kena robbed before."

"Make sure your doors are locked.

"Since I came here, got three snatch thefts edi...."

"The house opposite got burned oso."

"Padlock your room door."

"Must be careful ah, staying here is not very safe."


And here, is where I'm staying now.

Right?

I never would have expected the hole that suddenly appear in my being when it finally hit me that I'll be going to KL tomorrow.

It's nothing like I've ever felt before.

I suppose staying at home for a couple of months and being pampered has a part in it. I had a comfy bed, good food, my family... who doesn't like staying at home...?

Spending 4 years in Kampar didn't help either. Kampar was basically my second home. And I had a bunch of awesome friends there, cool lecturers, studies that I could make sense of, a place to stay that didn't suck the life blood out of me.

Unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously, I'm comparing the life I may have in KL to the life that I had back here.

The thought of taking a course I don't feel well equipped enough to master, driving on the confusing roads, and staying in a sad little room is enough to make my spirits take a dive off the Scottish cliffs.

But then again, I'm probably just thinking too much. KL is not the end of the world right?


Right?

Before, and now

When I was a kid, I always told myself that I WOULD NOT want to grow up to be like some of the adults that I've met.

I felt that they were childish, selfish, rubbish and other kinds of ish...

Then I grew up.

And I find that the adults are the still the same- childish, selfish, rubbish and other kinds of ish.

But now, I'm an adult too.

And I'm scared that kids would one day tell themselves that they would not want to grow up to be me.

*flip flip flip*

Thank you, my lecturers who have given me useful notes.

They may save me from being kicked out from doing my Masters.

Expectations

I am a person who likes to go trailer hopping. I like to waste a small part of my time youtubing for movies trailers.

And trailers would either raise or lower my expectations for a particular movie. Try as I may not to have expectations, a teensy tiny bit of my mind would just have to go "Oh, the trailer looks good. The movie should be awesome!" or "Yeerr... what's that?!"

So, when I go to watch a movie, there is this small voice already saying "This should be good!" or "I'm only here coz I there is no other movie to watch." Not good.

And that is what that has been happening recently.

I was kinda excited about Green Lantern and Captain America. The trailers looked kinda cool, with the bing bing bang bang and the hotness of Ryan Reynolds and Chris Evans in properly placed snippets to capture attention.

But the movies hoh... Were like plain bread and butter. No tuna or egg or ham in between. It's enough to eat when you're hungry, but no yummy filling to make you satisfied =(

On the other hand, when I saw the Rise of the Planet of the Apes trailer, I remembered thinking "Oh, this is one of those movies where they will show a stupid human, an impossibly smart chimp, human mistreat chimp, chimp get angry, chimp start killing, humans get scared, humans use big bombs, humans kill chimp."

And I hate movies like that, I hate movies showing animals to be wild and savage when the blame should lie with humans themselves. And I hate that in the end, the animal has to die "for the good of mankind".

But Planet of the Apes was surprisingly good. Awesome, even. I read a few good reviews about it, but the movie still hit me like a tonne of bricks. The story of how Ceaser the chimp started the ape revolution was just amazing. In fact, I was rooting for the apes to succeed. And the visual team for this movie should be given an Oscar for their work man.

So yeah, expectations. Never trust in them...

True story.

Thank you, Kampar

I got back for KL a couple of hours ago, tired and grumpy from another weekend of house hunting.

And what I can say is this- I was really really lucky in Kampar. Almost to the point of being pampered.

I took for granted how new everything was in Westlake, how I need only to share the bathroom with one other person, that I had a clean fridge, a place to cook and readily available internet access.

I took for grated how blessed I was to have Ah Fun as my roomate. Now that she's gone, I'll come back to a silent room, where there is no one to tell me about their day, and no one for me to tell about mine.

I took for granted how everywhere in Kampar was a walkable, cycable, drivable distance. Even if I missed a turning, I did not need to spend the rest of my day finding a place to u-turn.

I took for granted how cheap the good food was in Kampar- Ghany's limau ice and roti telur, Aunty's nasi lemak, the hard-to-find curry mee stalls, the almost-no-place-to-park pasar... =(

I took so many things for granted. And now, my lesson learned, I should say something I should have said a long time ago-

Thank you, Kampar, for the great 4 years you have given me.

Slugging

A snail without a shell is like a slug.

It is vunerable to all elements- the sun, wind and rain. It does not have a house to go into at night, when the day's activities are over. It does not have a place to seek refuge from it's surroundings. It is a pathetic, soft, squishy creature with no protection.

I feel like a slug now =(

De Moon so dark....

Yeah, I went to watch Transformers: Dark of the Moon a couple of days ago with my bros.

And as I was telling Derky- No more Megan =(

No more raven haired, dark eyed, screaming, pouting, emoing Megan to look hot on screen for the guys (and some girls) to oogle at anymore.... The new girl is.... just.... too.... blonde.... =(

The bots were okay, I guess. Their change from being machines to robots is slower now, so you can actually SEE them changing. But then again, I've always thought they look yenger when they are cars, so I don't really care when they change. Bee is still cute tho! =D

The fight scenes are edited better too. So now, you can see which are the Autobots and which are the Decepticons in the fights. Previously, their fight scenes sometimes looked like a pile of discolored metal rolling around...

But funnily enough, for all the bad reviews Revenge of the Fallen got, I thought it was better then Dark of the Moon. For one, I actually laughed in ROTF. In DOTM.....

*blank look*

And I somehow liked the admittedly slightly confusing plot in the second movie, compared to this one, where the plot is.... erm...(sorry Michael Bay).... And Optimus seemed more heroic in ROTF, what with his dead and resurrection XD

Still, the Transformers soundtrack is always good, Josh Duhamel makes a hot army man and we are all safe and sound coz we have a bunch of robots stomping around saving our world.

Ohya, Linkin Park's Iridescent ia nice =)

Start liao... =(

My nightmare is coming back.

My days of lazing around are almost over.

A proposal needs to be done =(

=/

This is what I have become



After the more fruitful beginning of my life after graduating, I have now sank to the deepest downs of humanity.

All day long, I sit at home, watch stuff, read stuff and bake stuff. These are activities that burn the lowest calories in the human body...

Not good, not good at all....

And yes, I have finally summoned enough energy to start blogging again =D

The sound of boredom

I am to be studying for Professional Writing now, a subject where I have to know how to write professionally (duh?). But I am not, my mind is on strike.

Instead of cramming in letters, memos, proposal, reports and how to identify errors in them, my mind is bent on thinking about things to come after the boringness of formal writing.

In fact, it is protesting so much that it forced me to come up with this:

My mind is alive
With what to do after the exams
It has been like that
For the last few days

My mind is filled
With the things to come
It wants to go ahead and have fun

I want to go to the Lost World of Tambun
With the girls in my class
My heart wants to go back to Ayer Tawar
And laze around

To laugh when I visit Melaka
And eat all the way
To sing in the night
With the crazy people I'm going with

I'll go to CF camp
On the 24th
And also NTS
On the 28th

My heart will be blessed
With all that I do
And I can't wait for them

Please sing to the tune of The Sound of Music from The Sound of Music.

Yes, I am bored =(

Bubble no more

You see ah, as humans, we have a bubble of self esteem.

The bubble can be big, medium or small. In some sad cases, got no bubble at all.

As with a real bubble, the self esteem is very fragile. Be kasar sikit with it, and it will pecah.

My bubble pecahed today =(

Remember this?



At the start of last month I hantared it.

And now it's back.

It has been marked, corrected and graded. And when a page has been marked, it is folded. So ah, it means that the more pages are folded, the more not good it is.



See?

I'm screwed =(

Stadi

After about a week of buating benda-benda lain like:

1. Berdinnering with my wonderful classmates and our dear lecturers
2. Mooching around KL with Ann Jan and a Tan Guang Pin
3. Scurrying around trying to get my Masters application done
4. Packing
5. Laughing and crying at my last CF =(
6. Eating with our CF people (we like to eat...)
7. Sleeping, eating, unpacking, sleeping, eating at home

I am finally back in Kampar to...


wait for it....


wait some more....


back in Kampar to...



STUDY!!


I have kopi with me. I have tea. I have jazz. I am determined to finally study!!

Nota-nota, here I come!



zzzzz....


Hmm...

It's harder den I thought O_o

Jamikoat

I had a queer dinner last night. So I thought I'd take a photo and share it with those of you who read this little blog of mine =)


Doesn't look very appealing, does it? Hehe...

Lemme guide you through how to make this unappealing dinner of mine:

Ingredients:
Water
Oat
Milk
Jam of your choice (mine was raspberry)

Steps:
1. Boil water.
2. When the water is nice and hot, pour it into oats.
3. Mix well.
4. When oats are fairly cooked and water is still very hot, add in some jam.
5. Stir well. Make sure jam is melted, if not you'll have clumps of floating jam.
6. When mixture is nicely mixed and a bit sticky, add in some milk.
7. Makan

There, ain't it easy? =D

Anyway, how much of what you want to add is up to you; throw in the whole jar of jam if you want to =="

The taste?

Hmmm.....


There, a close up. Does it look more appetizing? =D

This post is called Jamikoat, coz Jam + Milk + Oat.

Geddit? Geddit? =D

Share?

What wouldn't I give to find a perfect sharing partner.

Nice things always seem nicer when I can find someone to share them with. Be it interests or mind set or opinions, it's always nice to find someone who thinks or feels the same way.

Unfortunately, there is no one person whom I can share everything with. Of course, it's not anyone's fault; I can't expect anyone to have the same exact thinking and interests like me, but it is kinda hard to keep things that I think are nice to myself and only myself.

How nice it will be for everyone to find that one person who is truly appreciative and responsive of what you say and do, genuine in response and not just give polite nods of the head and half-hearted smiles.

The person does not have to be The One or your Soulmate or your Matchmade-in-Heaven or whatever title the world gives to romantic interests. He or she could be a friend, a family member or a brother/sister in Christ.

If you do have a perfect sharing partner, cherish the fella k? You don't know how rare they are.

Ais kacang

You know what is an ais kacang kan?

A pyramid of ice, drenched in sweet syrup and evaporated milk, with spoonfuls of red beans, cincau, jelly and sometimes cendol and nutmeg or raisins, a dollop of creamed corn and sometimes a scoop of ice cream on top.



There are a few ways to eat an ais kacang:

1. Eat the ice, the ice cream and liao (Hokkien for ingredients) together
2. Eat the ice cream first, then the ice, then the liao
3. Eat the liao first, then the ice cream, then drink the melted ice.
4. Mix the whole thing (assuming you can get it to not spill out your bowl) and then only eat.

So complicated kan? Dunno which way to choose to eat, dunno which way that would leave the ais kacang tasting at its best, dunno which way that would not leave a mess.

You might say: "Aiyo, so susah for wat?! Just eat la!"

But no, it's not so simple wan... =(

Camatosing

See how comfy Tua Tao looks?

Yes, that is what the recent weather is doing to me. It makes me feel like burrowing into endless piles of blankets and pillows and bolsters and big furry toys like Tua Tao and not come out of bed until the weather starts becoming hot again.

It's so nice to curl up in bed with some good jazz, or curl up in blankets in front of the laptop watching stuff, or read a good book with a hot drink within reach.

Unfortunately, I've got work to do so I can't curl up in bed and I don't have a good book now, so no book+hot drink for me =(

But I do have a few good things to watch though.

Sam and Dean Winchester are back in season 6 (thanks Jen!) and season 2 of Glee has some really awesome songs =) And because of a certain Florencetina Chew, I'm gonna get hooked on Chuck soon... And there are few movies which are squeaking for attention from me.

*plays lazy rainy days songs*

*ignores future assignments and presentations*

*snuggles into rainy day world*

=)

Bo song

Zis no good.

Kegemukkan.

Git

I recently started picking up my poor abandoned guitar again.

Git had been sitting in his box for a few months now, lonely and neglected, while I carried on with my life without him. There was a time when he was my good friend, and I held and fingered him(don't tell me I sound wrong) until the tips of my fingers started to peel.

Then, for some reason, I just abandoned him. My fingers lost their rough calloused feel, my nails started growing long again, I forgot how to press the chords I'd learnt and Git started gathering dust in the confines of his dark cardboard box.

But a couple of weeks ago, I was struck by the overwhelming urge to play something. As my dear piano was not with me, all I had was Git. So I picked him up again.

The poor thing was so dusty I had to clean him first, silently apologizing for forgetting him. I assumed that he had gone out of tune for staying in the box for so long, but surprisingly, he still kept his lovely sounds. It was as if he was waiting for me all the while... =)

So yeah, I picked him up again, brushed up on the tiny bits of chords that I can remember (G Em D and C, enough to play one song edi), and strummed some songs. I know they sounded weak and pathetic, but I was happy.

I was happy that I remembered Git, and I was happy that the few familiar sounding chords could make me happy. I was happy that I could bring a little bit of making music with me to Kampar.

Now my fingers are getting their numb feeling again from too many pressings of the strings, the skin is peeling, my chord book is useful again, Ah Fun is in extreme torture for listening to half-baked guitar playing, I am ss-ing and Git is making music again.

=)

Drunk

It's weird, you know, what a glass of Secret Recipe Ice Blended Green Tea can do to you...

***

I can count how many times I've drank alcohol in my life. Okla, not counting the endless cans of Shandy and Jolly Shandy I drink during New Year. They contain what, 1% of alcohol? Not counted as "drinking" right? XP And not counting the spoonfuls of ang jiu I put into the ang jiu mee sua my mom cooks.

My first taste of beer was with Ah Fun. We opened a can of Carlsberg and chugged it down like men. Ei wait, it was more like I was taking painful sips of it and trying to act cool. Oh gosh, how horrid it was.

Another time, to convince myself that I can drink beer, I finished a bottle of Heineken with Ann and Jan. That wasn't so bad, Heineken is a bit more easy to get down my throat.

And once upon a time, during a New Year back in Kedah, Mom gave me a coffee mug full of red wine with LOTS of ice in it. That was nice. Fruity fruity.... Made me feel grown up =D

And ya, I have drunk alcohol twice in Jensen Chen's abode. Jen, Derky, Mel and me once finished a cute little bottle of red wine, with Mel scaring us by finishing her cup in what, 3 or 4 gulps? And another time, we poured some of Jen's whiskey (or something like that) into some green tea. I remembered it tasted kinda nice. Hehe....

So yes, the times I've drunk alcohol can be counted on my fingers. And nope, I haven't gotten drunk before.

***

And now, I think the aforementioned Secret Recipe Ice Blended Green Tea has some alcohol or something in it....

*cue to gasp*

I'm getting the queerest feeling after drinking it. It was nice and all, very creamy and refreshing =D But it makes me feel how I would be if I'd ever become drunk.

*cue drunken laughter*

Heheheheheheh...!!!

Anyway, it could also be because of my filled-with-laughter-and-take-stupid-photos-day and then suddenly coming back to my room do an assignment that makes me feel stupid.

*sees butterflies flying above head*

prrreeetttiiii....

Another 2 steps closer...

There, the thing that gave me sleepless nights, panic attacks and cold sweat. It has disrupted my social life and messed up my personal life. Yes, boys and girls, behold my FYP.

I finally got it done.

By right, I should be jumping up and down screaming for joy kan? But for some reason, there's this nagging feeling that I've messed up the whole thing =(

It's not like I didn't put effort into it, I did. But I just feel like it's not good enough. I keep feeling that I'm not well equipped enough to produce a decent FYP. Whatever I've written are just scribbles of a half-baked student struggling to graduate.

On one hand, I want to not care about the thing anymore, coz I've done what I can and my brain juices are dry. On the other, that "thing" carries grades for me that would determine my pathetic CGPA. How you tell me? How?!

My FYP successfully made me feel stupid, insecure about my writing and lowered my self-esteem.

Anyway,



we took our grad photos today. Hehe!

In the midst of the make up melting and the heat and everyone panicking and trying to get the stupidly big robes to stay on our shoulders and smiling awkwardly for the single shots and hurriedly changing into our traditional wear and arguing on how to arrange ourselves for the shot, I guess everyone had fun after all. =)



I tell you ah, I have very gorgeous classmates!


So yeah, FYP done, grad photos taken. 2 steps closer to graduating....

Blocks

When I was young, I had a set of Legos (or what I thought was Lego) in my collection of toys.

I would pile up the different sizes and colors of the blocks on one another, making structures where I'd fill with my imagination. A pyramid shaped formation could be some mystical mountain where no one climbed before. Another oddly shaped thing could be the latest structure in my city, which I was Queen. And being the little girl that I was, I'd use some of the smaller blocks for masak-masak substitutes when I ran out of things to use for "food".

The best part about using these block were that I can do whatever I want with them. If I didn't like the formation I was making, I'd just dismantle them and start again, no trouble at all. If I got tired halfway building them, I'd chuck them aside, no questions asked. If I was in the middle of a bad day, I'd build something, then pretend to be some horrible monster and smash it down. Or, I could always fly into a temper and start flinging them across the room (I just had to make sure I'd pick them up again, in case Mom flinged me instead @_@)

Anyhow, the person in control was ME.

But now, I no longer have control of the blocks I have in my hands. I'm holding them, but other... entities.... are deciding what is to be done with them.

Hmmm....



I wonder what happened to my old Lego set?

As I wait for my hair to dry...

I am sitting in front of my lappie.

Having long hair is nice and all, but man, waiting for it to get dry when you want to sleep is quite bad... And yes, I don't have a hair dryer. Never had one, will probably never get one.

Our CF had a fun time tonight, running around chasing balls and making new friends. Who cares whether we win or lose, the fact is everyone had fun =D The committee handled it really well, I think. Yay for you guys! =D

And yes, as I was telling some of them who wanted to come again next year, this is my last time playing Captain Ball with our crazy CF people. Next sem, no more liao...

As I look through my calender this sem, it's is filled with activities that I would never have to do if I were not graduating soon.

Tomorrow, all the third year students would be having "Tea with the President" @_@ On Thurs, we'd be attending a resume writing workshop. On Fri, a Postgrad workshop. Furthur along the coming weeks, I'd be handing up my FYP, taking graduations photos, probably attending a Career Talk, planning for our class farewell dinner.

Each of these activities remind me again and again that I am a step closer to graduting and moving on with life away from Kampar. Shu Ern's graduation is coming up soon. I'm kinda excited for her. (We'll come see ya girl!!) Before we know it, I suppose August would come all too fast and the rest of us would graduate too. Hehe...

On another note, I'm picking through Disney's old cartoons. And I remember the little girl in me that can't grow up from good cartoons =)

Helpless

You know what's worse that having work to do but not wanting doing it?

Wanting to do work, but not knowing how to do it.

FYP sucks =(

Escape

Sometimes I wish I could:

Meet Aang, Katara, Saka, Toph, Zuko, Appa and Momo and see them control the four elements.

Meet Leonard, Sheldon, Penny, Raj and Howard learn how to be sarcastic.

Meet Dean and Sam to oogle at them and kill monsters/ghosts/ghouls/pagan gods/other weird things.


Sometimes I wish I could just go into TVland,

just to escape from where I am and what I need to do.... =(

On another note,


Isn't Jensen Ackles the hottest thing you've ever seen?

XD

The Chocolate Bar

Once upon a time, there was a chocolate bar. It wasn't those kind of fancy chocolate bar you see in the shop displays. In fact, it was rather plain, with a little sprinkle of nuts and fruit in it. It was quite boring to look at, just a brown colored bar, with the specks of nuts and fruit.



The chocolate bar lived in a sweetshop owned by a Candyman. Surrounding it, were sweets, candies and other chocolates of all shapes and sizes. Everyday, throngs of people came in to buy the sweet things made by the Candyman.


Some came in to buy Marshmallow. Marshmallow was all soft and sweet, cute to look at, nice to touch. Marshmallow was colorful too. The chocolate bar would look in longing at the wonderful pastel colors that Marshmallow had on.


Some would come in to buy Lollipop. Lollipop was even more colorful, very eye catching. Everyone who walked into the shop, whether or not to buy Lollipop, will at least look at it. The swirls of red, yellow, blue and green were flamboyant, a bit too much for the chocolate bar's liking, but still interesting nonetheless.


Some, especially on occasions, would come to buy Belgium Chocolate. The smooth creamy goodness that everyone yearned for was one of the highest-selling candy in the shop. People could not get enough of the rich, sweet desert that they gave to their loved ones. Each of the chocolate was unique, together in the box, they were the ultimate gift.

Day in and out the chocolate bar watched the people coming in and out and buying the goodies that they wanted. But the chocolate bar was always left on the shelf- picked up, looked at, but never paid for.

Why doesn't anyone buy me? Wondered the chocolate bar.

One day, when it's confusion was at it's peak, it gathered up it's courage and asked the Candyman.

"Excuse me sir, but why doesn't anyone buy me?"

The Candyman looked at the chocolate bar.

He smiled sadly, and gave his answer.

"People like you, but they don't want you."

Mirror

Have you ever looked into the mirror and wondered:

"Oh gosh, who is that worthless thing in the mirror?"


I have.


And yet,

I am a creation of our Lord,

made in His image,

crafted by His hands,

precious in His eyes.


Hmm...

I guess the mirror lied.

Noise

My mind is so noisy I can't hear myself think.

The noise comes mostly from my eyes, and occasionally, my ears.

The sounds merge and vibrate up to my brain, getting louder as they do so.

There, my brain comes in with a band of it's own, with very loud electronic instruments and amplifiers.

Unfortunately, my heart likes to jostle in with its own orchestra. It doesn't care whether the band is playing or not, or if the sounds would merge together, or if it should wait for a better time to start playing- it just comes in as it like.

So you see, there are a lot of sounds going on in my head. Apparently, they think it's fun to mess around like that.

Trouble is, they all don't play the same tune. They play different melodies in different harmonies, making different symphonies in different keys, chords and arrangements.

Thus, it is not music.

It is noise.

The week before class

I've been back in Kampar for almost a week now, after being a non-productive being at home and abandoning my blog. Yeah, this poor little place has cobwebs and dust all over it now.

*dust dust dust*

Aaahh.... That's better =)


Anyway, class hasn't started yet, so a few of us have made the best out of our one last free week.

Place: Jen's abode
Time: Tak tentu arah

We did lots of cool stuff =D

We watched all the three Lord of the Rings! In extended editions =) How cool is that?! And ya, it still never fails to amaze me eventhough I've watched them countless of times. We watched them from sundown to sunrise, that's how awesome it is. People who haven't watch LOTR don't have a life.... (hint: Kasut) XD

We woke up at a ridiculous hour to make burger patties. And by "ridiculous" I mean at 2am something in the MORNING. But the meat was delicious. We made it out of pure meat, not like the caplang burger meat we buy in supermarkets. And the reason for our early waking, cooking and eating?

To send a certain Joshua Lim off to the train station. The fella's train was at 5am. O_o


People, say goodbye to the Joshua who has left Kampar. And do you see the pieces of something beside the sausages? That's our meat patties =)

And we watched a couple of other movies too. Derky made us watch 500 Days of Summer. It's a love story, which is not a love story where the girl does not love, but kinda loves the guy. It's..... complicated. Go watch it =)

And I watched Star Wars for the first time. The fourth one. I was waiting for Luke to meet his asthmatic father, but apparently that part is in the fifth movie. Oh well...

Oh ya, Derky introduced Big Bang Theory to us!


Go watch go watch!!! It's good!!!

But I suppose the best thing that we did was all the singing that we managed to do. It has never ceased to amaze me how singing in four different parts can produce something that is so pleasing to the ears.



Coming to think of it, singing in SATB shows how being different may not be too bad a thing after all. When singing a part by itself, it sounds kinda weird. Off tune, even. But when the four parts sing and come together, everything sounds lovely. Instead of repelling each other, they complement one another. Instead of competing with each other, they uphold one another. Instead becoming noise, it becomes music.

Shouldn't we be like that as well? Not objecting but celebrating our differences? If everyone was like that, I guess Malaysia would be a better place. Hmm...


So ah, the weekend is around the corner. And I will try to be a good girl and sit down to finish my another chapter of my FYP which I have been unsuccessfully trying to motivate myself to do.

UTARians, Happy Weekending before the first day of the new sem! =)