A little prayer would be nice too...

Feeling heartbroken for Reagan and Jake and little Piper Jane today. Reagan's blob is one of the very first blogs I ever read. It's the only one Jared doesn't mind hearing updates on. If anyone knows of anything that can help or has any good advice you can give, please go on over and let them know.

A Monster Party

I felt so grown up making cupcakes for my Phin's birthday. I felt even more grown up taking extra strength Tylenol after it was all over.

I want to blog about Phinny's party, but I have a ONE year old

I blog on the floor.

Phin's stomping ground.

Spotted.


Oh, computer!


Maybe if I give Mama a cuddle she'll let me smash it.



Almost there.



It's only a successful day if he dumps water all over the keyboard. Notice my look of defeat people. Phin for the win.

Because the next few days are looking awfully busy....

Sweet Monster,

The very first day of your life, after everyone else went home, I sat on the hospital bed in the dim room holding my brand new baby and tried to soak in every single thing. I tried to memorize your face, the weight of your tiny body, the feel of your brand new pink little lips. It was snowing the night you were born and that just made the world feel even more quiet and cozy. I stroked your face, amazed at how someone wrinkling their nose could be so, so beautiful.

So many times this first year I have had the same feeling of amazement. What a brilliant little smile! I had never heard such a laugh. Are your eyes going to stay that dark and beautiful. I've been so excited by every little thing. I called your Vovo after the first time you had a banana. I cheered and kissed you until you cried in frustration the first time you rolled over. There was a photoshoot after you had rice cereal. Everybody received a picture of my sweet Phin phin in the bath and the bumbo and the swing, on the grass. And I have never ever seen a cuter little bottom!

I wish I could tell the younger me, the girl that was terrified she wouldn't love you enough, that there is nothing, NOTHING, sweeter than a little boy who places his tiny hands on your cheeks while you lay in the bed together and leans his forehead against yours. I would tell her that she was going to be tired, so tired that every fiber of her body hurt, but it wouldn't matter. That if she took a deep breath, she'd realize that time staying up all night rocking a babe until he fell asleep was so limited.

Once I came to terms with that baby boy, I cried because I couldn't imagine not having the choice to hold you every night.

I have loved you every second of your life so far. I will love you always. I can no longer imagine a world without my Phinny. Thank you for such a magical year little boy. I wish I could do it all over.

Love,
Your Mama

If only it weren't snowing...

I think this hanky tank on etsy is so springy. It's snowing (suck it winter!) right now, but if the weather gods ever decide to smile down on our little valley and let spring in, I think this would look cute with some rolled up jeans and bright flats. And warm, warm sun. And gelato. It would look soooo good with some melting, delicious gelato.

tank here

(lack of) Party Planning

We are closing in on the big day and Phin is busy prepping for his party. He wanted to get at least three months of riding lessons in so he could pull off a few tricks during the pony rides and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. we pass a frozen pond he just has to pull out his skates for a few minutes to brush up on his triple axle. He must impress the guests on the ice skating rink we rented. For our backyard.

Actually we are low key party people. So I have not been planning a bash for months. My goal this year has been surviving and making sure Phin Phin does too. We are just having family and a few friends over. We will eat good food and probably cheer and clap as my brand new walker toddles around the room. I ordered some fun monster themed things and if Phin decides to sleep more than five minutes this week I might engage in some crafty decoration making. I just want the people that know him the very best lovin on him and laughing at how crazy it is that Jared and I ended up with the cutest child ever.

Of course there will be cake. Lotsa cake.

And presents because who doesn’t love watching a one year old eat paper and totally ignore the thing you just spent $40 bucks on?

Most of our gifts are warm weather themed because we are total optimists. In the mean time some more classic Phin moments from his first year.

This was his first summer hammock nap. Daddy was out of town so it’s a crappy from above picture. Best part of this photo is how you can see Liza on the right. She insisted on napping with us.

This second one is pretty self explanatory. His first board meeting. The man runs a casual office.

Attack!

Dear Monster,

I'm not a big sports human. The snack food is pretty much my favortie part of watching any game. No guac, no good. I do, however, love me some March Madness. Even though my bracket has died (don't worry, it was a quick) I'm still trying to enjoy the games. My pick to win it is still in. It's Sunday, it's raining and we just went grocery shopping. You just don't get the appeal yet. You learned to walk this weekend and don't understand why I suddenly stopped chasing you. It's cause I suck. Thank you for not letting me get away with it.

c'mon spring

We are getting stir crazy in this house. Need proof?



Yeah. That didn't end well.

Plus Phin is teething.

Whole new world.

Sometimes I’m about a decade behind on things. Netflix is one of those. We just signed up. Neither of us are big movie people and shows we wanted to watch we just did real time. It’s like a shiny new world. A shiny new world filled with hot serial killers.

I started watching an episode of Dexter one morning while pumping and was instantly hooked. Lesco too. We have been rushing poor Phin through his bed time routine earlier and earlier all month so we could watch bad guys get hacked up.

Would it be bad if I scrapped Phin's Monster themed first birthday and did a Dexter theme. I could wrap my dining room in plastic. I could serve blood pudding. I could make Jared wear a olive henley. and Phin too.

Decisions, decisions.

Today I'm happy because

Right now my monster is sleeping like a babe. Literally.

This afternoon I'm going to eat here.

Tonight I'm getting my netflix on with this guy.

Tomorrow one of my favorite people is blowing out one of these.

Sunday we mess with these.

Which means this is right around the corner. Whoot!

Boobs, Again.

Do you know that my blog got the most views ever after my nursing posts? Do you think the human that got to my Phinny blog after googling "monster boobs" was super disappointed when they got to a pumping post? Google on peeps, nothing to see in these parts.

But I'm not done talking about them. I was terrified of breast feeding. I'm body shy. I didn't know how I would ever possibly feed my child if I was not in the privacy of my own home. I thought I would be skeeved out. I thought everyone else would be. I never, ever, ever thought I could make it a whole year without formula.

Well I did it and I don't care who I made uncomfortable along the way (well maybe a little bit cause it's nice to be nice). Fun fact, there is no faster way to scare off a bunch of smoking, annoying teenagers on a beach then whipping out a boob to feed a babe. These first year Phinny pics are my tribute to nursing. No longer scared.





This last one was from the very beginning and it hurt! Even when he was done. That's why he owes me four Alaskan cruises.

And one of my Phinny Phin's face because you can't see it above.



ps
MONSTER BOOBS, MONSTER BOOBS, MONSTER BOOBS!!

Only 46 shopping day left days!

I need an Easter dress. Easter what? I know, I know. I have even busted out my green knickers and lucky charms. Don't worry, I'll still kiss the Irish, but I'm all about the spring dress.

Easter is pure awesomeness. Easter candy is the clearly the best. Cadbury cream & mini eggs, peeps, chocolate bunnies, starburst jelly beans. Don't lie, there is something you can't resist. Plus spring is far superior to winter. Duh.

Plus, plus you know I love a good hat. Did your Mom put you in an Easter hat when you were younger? Mine did, and I really think I should try to be a bit English this time of year and attempt to pull one off.

Plus, plus, plus I love ham. I make one on Easter Sunday. It's delicious.

Anyways. This is kind of the look I'm going for. Maybe more floral, less ruffle.

Keep growing!

Time to adapt

Love at first sight does exist

boobs

You know what I hate? HATE. pumping. For those people in the world who think bloggers who talk about the things they hate suck because we should all be positive for the world and our children and karma, we just can’t be friends. There are a lot of things I don’t like in this world and sticking a machine to my poor little boob in a closet that has peeling insulation and towers of filing cabinets threatening to squish me is one of them.

People making pumping noises when I walk by is another. Getting laughed because my boss (and the maintenance guy and my bosses boss, our IT dude, lets not forget the catering lady) walked in on me is also not my favorite. Not having a hour to just eat lunch in a year….that sucks (maybe a little pun intended).

But I’m turning this post around because in less than a month I will be glowy and positive and a fricken good karma magnet because I’m throwing the pump in the river. Not really because that’s littering and it doesn’t belong to me and wouldn’t it be sad if I hit a kayaker.

But halleluiah for Phin’s 1st birthday. To celebrate I will buy myself fun clothes that are not nursing friendly.

And a new swimsuit. Cause I might be the only girl ever to also hate, yeah there’s that word again, big boobs. Sayonara.