Week #9 Teacher

Mom,

Thank you for being so supportive of my home schooling. It has meant a lot to me to have you cheer me on and build confidence in me that what I am doing is a good thing. But really, that is not what I am going to talk about. Although, my teaching role as a home school mom is important, I want my teaching as a mom to be the focus.

I recently had an experience with Eyrlin that really gave me an advantage to teach. She told me with boldness and confidence, “Mom, I only want to do things that moms do.” I laughed and told her, “Well Sweets, that’s everything!!”

It has stuck with me for months now. Eyrlin wants to be a mom and she is watching my every move to see what moms do. This isn’t a formal sit down text book write up, she is watching me! Slightly scary I will admit, basically, I am her text book. Ok, now that IS scary!!

This is just another reason why I feel like studying who I am as a mother and where I need to be is so important. I am not perfect, and I say and do a lot of things that I wish I had a rewind button for.

So here I am, a teacher, who would have thought…..

L. Tom Perry, “Teaching in the home is becoming increasingly important in today’s world, where the influence of the adversary is so widespread and he is attacking, attempting to erode and destroy the very foundation of our society, even the family. Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility. While other institutions, such as church and school, can assist parents to “train up a child in the way he [or she] should go” (Proverbs 22:6), ultimately this responsibility rests with parents. According to the great plan of happiness, it is parents who are entrusted with the care and development of our Heavenly Father’s children. Our families are an integral part of His work and glory—“to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). On God’s eternal stage, it is usually intended that parents act as the central cast members in their children’s lives. Fortunately, there are understudies involved in the production who may step in when parents can’t. It, however, is parents who have been commanded by the Lord to bring up their children in light and truth (see D&C 93:40).”

“Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world. The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.”

So no pressure, right? I love it, I love that it is one day at a time. I love his words of “righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting”. Maybe I can’t push rewind on some of my parenting mistakes, but I persist on doing the best I can.

I love looking Eyrlin in the eyes and saying, “This is a job of a mother” as I hold Canon when he is sick or move laundry along or make a special dinner for dad. Our opportunity to teach is a daily doing, sometimes we don’t even know that we are teaching. I love peaking in on my daughter as she is trying to breast feed her doll, I just know she is understanding some intimate bits and pieces of the role as a mom. Love it!!

Goals:

1. Notebook – I am stealing this from a friend. I want to write down each day the things we need to accomplish in a day. Anywhere from prayer, lunch, get dressed, pay a bill to a more personal teaching opportunity; teach Eyrlin how to make cookies or lead a song, talk to Jax about his next Faith in God goal or scouts, help Rylon memorize his next article of faith or play piano, help Broden with his personal prayers or puzzle, etc. I think this will help me focus on the things that matter most in my day. I think this will also be a nice transition into next weeks goal on time.

Mom, you still teach me today. That is a role that doesn’t cease after we are married and gone. I still call you and get my dose of instruction. Just today a matter of fact you gave me a little food for thought. Really, I should have written down all the many words of wisdom you have given me throughout the years. Dang! Maybe I will start doing that now.

Thank you for teaching me EVERYTHING!! Especially, how to turn around and teach my kids. Well, and how to make Hawaiian Haystacks ;}

I love you!!

Kathy

Week #8 and I am Late

Dear Mom,

Happy Birthday!!! I am so grateful for a mother like you. I miss you tons and wish I was there celebrating the 68 years of life we have all been blessed with!!! I love you!!

Sorry I am so late with this weeks goal. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, a matter of fact we have talked about it a week ago. However, sickness has come and gone and I have done nothing but rid my life of the germs. Thursday John and Canon became sick AGAIN!!

These last three weeks have really made me miss you and whomever else lives in AZ. I have learned something important about my family. You guys really know me the best, you know me for the good person that I am. You know my mini trials I face and how it effects me personally. You know me best because you take the time out to listen and reach out. I really need that so  thank you tons!! I never realized how much I needed to know that then I have these last few weeks. Thank you for listening with a loving heart and not a judgment passed, it’s a trusted place.

I am such a “feel sorry for me” girl this week. I hope this pushes you and dad into coming for a visit I had two pressing things on my mind.

1. I really wish I could sit and have a good cry. I just think it would release all my frustrations and give me a nice lift. Or a good scream but that is so NOT me, a good cry is more me.

2. But then that brings me to my next one, I wish I was humble and unselfish.

Mom, there is something amazing about you that I only come to know when life gets hard on me and I think, “How would my mom have handled these situations?” It also makes me see that I have a LONG road to becoming as good of mom or women as you are.

I recently read the Relief Society Declaration, I read over it often as a reminder of what my duties, responsibilities are as a daughter of God.

We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction. As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar. We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:

Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ
through prayer and scripture study.

Seek spiritual strength by following the
promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Dedicate ourselves to strengthening
marriages, families, and homes.

Find nobility in motherhood
and joy in womanhood.

Delight in service and good works.

Love life and learning.

Stand for truth and righteousness.

Sustain the priesthood
as the authority of God on earth.

Rejoice in the blessings of the temple,
understand our divine destiny,
and strive for exaltation.

This time around, I found the first word of each bullet point interesting. Increase, seek, dedicate, find, delight, love, stand, sustain, and rejoice. They are all action words, positive actions. Each of these actions have a specific directive. I then gave each one a scale, let’s just say I have lots to improve on. Then I gave you a scale, where I saw my mom (is that wrong?). There is no room for improvement which is why everyone should know I have the perfect mom.

Mom, are you Marry Poppins? Practically Perfect in Every Way!! I knew it, now where is that umbrella or the bottomless bag??

Anyway, I don’t know why the Lord loved me so much as to put me with a family with such an amazing mother. I have reason to try everyday to be the best Kathrine Tober there is. I think it’s the least I can do to show my appreciation for my up bringing, I should give that to my kids in return. Raising generation after generation with the example you set for us should be a great accomplishment in this life. Even if we struggle sometimes.

My goal this week:

1. Read everyday the Relief Society Declaration and remind myself of the actions I should take as I move forward in this journey.

I love you, Mom!!

Kathy

January Family Fun

I am finally updating my family happenings around this place.

New Years came too fast! I can not believe we are in 2011, how time just passed us by. When the clock struck we popped some party poppers and then off to bed. It was fun!

Jax had his first pinewood derby and got 3rd place. We were so happy for him and dad. We have some amazing talent in our ward and told Jax he probably would not win. Jax designed, painted, used some new cool tools, and placed all the weights. We were so proud of his work and glad it all paid off for him.

Aunt Mary got hitched in January. All of the siblings were  together which is so rare these days. Our latest family photo.

Back Row (The brothers in order from oldest to youngest) Fred, Rod, Tom, James, and Bryan

Front Row (The sisters in order from oldest to youngest) Kayleen, me, Mary, Liz, and Katie

Front Front Row: Mom and Dad

Canon is now 8 months. Wow, why can’t time stand still for a moment. Canon is such a good boy. Sleeps great, eats great, snuggles, and is exploring the house on his hands and knees.  I discovered a photoshop program on my computer and put it to the test. I love this little angelic picture of my sweet Canon ball.

January has come and gone. It went by pretty fast for us with all the little events in our life. We are already half way through February and I already have so much to blog about.

You know what they say, “Time flies when you are having fun!”

Week #7 Steadfast and Immovable

Mom,

The last two weeks have brought me a bit of humility. I have never understood my kids so much as I have this week. I saw less fighting. I am assuming that their openness to me and security of knowing I was listening and responding, left them feeling like a problem could be resolved without a battle. This is a must continue. I also feel like they respect me more and we are closer, I didn’t think that was possible. I felt so guilty but I also understand that positive change is better than no change at all. I feel really good about the discovery of motherhood, and I am not afraid to let people see some weakness of mine. Life is all about learning and growing. I am grateful for the experiences good or bad.

This week comes with a companionship study John and I had. Side note: John and I have been studying together for the last six or eight months. We have family study and individual study but this was something new. A little boost in the partnership. I HIGHLY recommend it if you aren’t already. I have learned a lot about us in our different stress and the things that stand out most to us. Anyway, one thing we recently read was a list of promises when we live the gospel completely.

Dad and you woke me in the wee hours of the morning to do a routine thing in our home; family prayer and family scriptures. I also remember the days before answering machines when dad would answer the phone, “Cuthbertson Family Home Evening”. Some people would just hang up and some would get the lecture of interrupting our family time. Either way, I loved it. John and I sport the same rules, Monday night is family night. Even when dad was bishop nothing was more important then his family home evening night. It is an example to me of how important that time was for us. No calling after 5pm on Monday! How I miss those days.

My favorite part of family scripture study was the little pictures you drew for me and Mary. When everyone was reading, Mary and I got these little pictures to understand the scripture or story line. I remember that being the highlight of my morning. I still have those scriptures, they are my most cherished treasure from my mom. Thank you for taking that time to draw me little pictures!!

The lesson learned from this family experience is the importance of the Gospel. To be steadfast in the gospel, immovable from the principles.

Elder Bednar, who has become a favorite speaker of mine, said, “A person who is steadfast and immovable is solid, firm, resolute, firmly secured, and incapable of being diverted from a primary purpose or mission.” Or in other words Fred and Kate Cuthbertson. Ok, he didn’t say that but I am sure if he met you he would agree.

Elder Bednar said, “A building or structure that is stable and immovable must be built upon a strong foundation. If you and I (I LOVE that he included himself) desire to become steadfast and immovable disciples of the Master, we must build appropriately and effectively upon Him as our foundation.”

Another favorite, “The Lord Jesus Christ is the sure foundation, and you and I (included himself again) cannot and will not fall if we build upon Him as our foundation.”

We will not fall, We will not fall, We will not fall, IF we build upon Him as our foundation.

Another one, “Disciples who are steadfast and immovable do not become fanatics or extremists, are not overzealous, and are not preoccupied with misguided gospel hobbies.”

President Joseph F. Smith emphasized: “We frequently look about us and see people who incline to extremes, who are fanatical. We may be sure that this class of people do not understand the gospel. They have forgotten, if they ever knew, that it is very unwise to take a fragment of truth and treat it as if it were the whole thing”

I had to throw this in. Sometimes people can get real caught up in this very thing.

Elder Bednar said, “If you and I are focused on receiving consistent drops of spiritual nourishment, then gospel roots can sink deep into our souls, can become firmly established and grounded, and can produce extraordinary and delicious fruit. In a gospel sense, you and I need to implement constant spiritual drip saturation and avoid sporadic and shallow spiritual spurting. Sturdy gospel roots that go deep into rich spiritual soil strengthen and steady us in times of trial and difficulty.”

I love Elder Bednar. My personal feeling is we should be focusing on the quality of water that is being dripped into our spiritual nourishment. I hope I will develop the proper roots in my children that will have long lasting effects in their life as followers of Christ. This brings me to my goals:

1. Read and Pray, it keeps Satan away. Personal (something my kids can form a habit of and have a testimony of) and as a Family.

2. Attend Church. (which we do)

3. Family Home Evening. With quality discussion. This is the time John and I take to talk about the Gospel with our kids. We give a lesson and ask a lot of questions so a discussion will occur. This is our favorite part of family home evening, it’s interesting to see what the kids know but more importantly understand and have developed a testimony of.

It may seem like goals we are already doing, but something I need to really appreciate and not take for granted, especially the blessing that come from this. It’s good to put in writing or typing.

Mom, you never fell short of ensuring a nice drip line into the roots of your kids. Thank you!

I love you!

Kathy

Week #6 Understanding

Dear Mom,

I do intend to some day write about our happenings in this family just haven’t really had time.

Listening. It was hard this week to really accomplish exactly what I wanted because Broden was sick and I had to instruct quite a bit. I am so glad I decided to do this in two parts to really give me the opportunity to complete this goal.

Understand - grasp meaning of something: to know or be able to explain to yourself the nature of somebody or something, or the meaning or cause of something

Understood - taken into account: agreed, assumed, or implied, especially without being openly or officially expressed.

We can understand a lot of things our kids might be expressing to us. We understand sadness, joy, anger, frustration, laughter, silliness, etc. Actively listening is where my kids feel understood.

My goals are the same as last week, talk less, listen more.

Mom, thanks for understanding me!

I love you!

Kathy