And the strangest things seem suddenly routine.

Woken up out of the blue last night by my own laughing. Apparently I'd coined the terms "Captain Whoresore" and "pasta abnorma" in my dream, and just had to write them down lest I forget.

For the first dreaded day of school today didn't go too badly at all, seeing as I really just had one (fairly boring) lecture about html basics, followed by lunch and the bi-annual purchasing of texts. Still desperately trying to switch 100-106 tut to Monday after the lect so I don't have a gaping break in between 12 and 2 on Tuesday (and thus end at 12 instead). Still I really can't complain with 7.5 hours per week...

Attempting to sleep at 12 (on the dot) in prep for tomorrow's 9am. Rest assured such improper behavior will not last past oh, say, 3 weeks at best.

By the way? Yes.

***

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

"Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles

Les Liasons Dangereuses.

Hectic few days, what with getting the internship fiasco sorted out and cramming several last-minute things in before the bi-annual zipping off. Witnessed an accident on the way to Dangerous Liaisons, and all I could think of as the stillborn traffic light ran its countless course was fuck, I'm going to be late. The guy, by the way, died. I was 10 minutes late.

I was sort of bewildered by it at first, but I can't imagine anything stupider than passing love by just because it doesn't come in the wrapper you expected.

J is convinced that personality (as opposed to brawn) isn't a factor I should be looking for at this point of time (age, she means?), although mostly I decoded that as my apparent social obligation to 'sample the goods', so to speak, before throwing in the towel. I suppose it's true that I shouldn't have to settle (or, in her words, force myself), but you and I know... it's really just a matter of time.

Matisse. What a lovely name. Mysterious, mind-boggling Matisse.

C'est tout. Incommunicado til my connection is back up in drunken-slut land... 5 days to Monday blues.

***

"As for this present infatuation, it won't last. But for the present it is beyond my control." - Vicomte de Valmont, Dangerous Liaisons

FU MU.

Thanks for your email, which I received on Tuesday, 15 February 2005.

I haven't received any application from you, so you have not been allocated an internship.

Applications for M&C internships for semesters 1 and 2 in 2005 closed on 1 October 2004, and the quota for both is now full. Consequently, it will not be possible to undertake this course in 2005.

I suggest that you investigate the possibility of doing two 12.5pt M&C subjects as an alternative - you can get advice on this from Samantha Lipscombe in M&C (if you are a local student) or Jessica van Dyk in Arts International (if you are an international student).

Regards
Peter

FUCK YOU, MU. Fuck YOU too, Peter. ARGH!!! >:( For the record, I submitted said application the exact day it was due, and at the fucking Department office because the note on his door said to leave it there if he wasn't at the office.......... What the FUCK do you think I slaved through the shitty M&C subject selection for (ending up with TERRORISM as a subject because of the utter lack of choice)?!?!?!?!! To think that the exact thing that Adel said would happen (because of Collingwood's UTTER slackness and lack of professionalism) is happening, and of all people, to ME. Don't even get me started on the stupid "quota" for both sems being FULL?!?!?!?! THERE IS NO FUCKING QUOTA IF EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO GET ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

Its all fun and games... until it happens to you.

Revolution.

I think deep down inside, any normal person feels a certain sense of satisfaction (perverse as it is) knowing that they're capable of making someone jealous. It's some sort of unsaid vindication for the breakup, the triumphant smirk and blowing of raspberries; perhaps even the prideful need to prove that you've moved on, when really, it couldn't be further from the truth.

Sundown is such a hard time; a time of day that puts italics on your loneliness.

That a simple line from a book can dissolve me into tears is something I will only attempt to vaguely classify as humbling.

***

"Klaus is also, as Rainer told me, almost stupidly handsome, and it's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you. We are a wretched, shallow species."

- Eleanor Rigby, Douglas Coupland

Let's get it on.

You know it's bad when you start censoring yourself because people out there are reading your blog, and even though it really is just a representation of the person you want to portray yourself as, it's not really a blog until you can say exactly what you want to say, how you want to say it. So mostly point being I want to flail at the world at large right now, but I shan't, because then it'd be too bloody obvious, wouldn't it?

On another note, the Hindu culture has me utterly fascinated right now. Watched not one but two documentaries on henna and mehndi art today and I desperately want one, even though I suspect the ink will turn out rather dodgy on my disgustingly fair skin.

***

But if you'd only told me baby
I would have made some other plans
If I'd only seen it sooner
But what a way with your hands you have

"A Moment With You" - George Michael

That great big symphony.

Sappy Beethoven song stuck in the head all day... Dolly Parton, who would've thought? Survived the maternal gathering this year (which really is never all that bad), had another round of orgasmalicious teppanyaki the day after, and just yesterday tolerated the reunion dinner with dad's 'army'. That's three 10-course meals consecutively in THREE days, the effects of which are beginning (please keep sniggering to a minimal) to show through the unsightly bulges around the waist.

So the first day of sucky visiting is finally over: One down, one to go. I have yet to decide which is the worse of the two - had to do the army (again!) for lunch, then dad's nanny (who is a cow for always picking on my choice of clothes), and maternal grandma's after for the smallish dinner gathering. Tomorrow involves a singular visit to dad's elder brother's (which isn't too bad because the cousin will be there), then rushing back home to prep the place (and bbq pits) for the army to come over for dinner. So that's one entire day of having to field the never-ending questions as to 1. When am I going back, 2. Do I have a boyfriend, 3. What year I am in, and last (but not least), 4. How is the weather in Melbourne. HELLO? Like, take note already, and stop asking me like it's the first bloody time you've met me in your entire lives (only to rinsewashrepeat without fail come February next year).

On another note, we're all back together again in flogging-land (well, with the exception of NN but I'll take Ipoh over some miscellaneous European city any day). ^_^ I also want a new watch but finding that perfect one has been rather frustrating. School starts soon, and already I feel like my 3 months (2 if you discount all the travelling) here have zipped by.

***

The days seemed to pass quickly enough for comfort, but it was the nights that drove her mad. The nights were the times her body hurt because she cried so much. The days made her forget, those few precious mercy hours. At night, there was no one to talk to, and none to stop the gnawing at the frayed threads of her imagination.

***

And everywhere I go
There's always something to remind me
Of another place and time
Of a love that travelled far to find me

"Remind Me" - Royksopp

Manifestations of an indeterminate nature (i.e. This is not a love song).

Got utterly drowsy (and sleepy) on strawberry margs with two strangely compatible kakis (for whom it was the very first time they'd met), smothered in easy laughter and good conversation. Travelled (by train, no less) all the way to Pan Pac for teppanyaki at Keyaki (again o.O), only to be blatantly refused because they were full (on a Tuesday night?!), flip-flops and crummy tees nonwithstanding. Cabbed dejectedly to UE Square after, and found Tamade (say ta-ma-day) CLOSED. Like, not with a pristine white sign in black lettering hung over the door, but with the interior in absolute disarray, as if it'd been abandoned for weeks (maybe even months) now.



So we ended up at the next door yakiniku place with the yummy mushrooms but grossly overpriced everything, non-buffet, and a through and through poor substitute for Torimatsu. Margs at CI after saved the day (albeit barely), but much of the evening was ruined by a lack of towgay (taugeh?) in the tummy.

That having been said, wtf happened to Tamade?!?!?!! Apparently it closed down on the 5th, complete with tragic cutlery sale and all... so no more yummy lychee margaritas or my earth-shatteringly good cucumber salad (which is really just made up of cucumber hunks swimming in sesame oil and garlic - think chicken rice sauce) after mediocre mains for me (and you, and you...). :(

So, meh. Altogether now:



[NB: Photos courtesy of ayurazzz, thanks muchly.]

On another note, still confused. This hangover will last a while.

***

She picked at the what ifs like stray threads on her quilt of confusion.