Black or White

Normally, I keep my blog entries pretty light and shallow. I don't feel this is the place for me to pour out my deepest thoughts and feelings. Plus, if I did people would be overwhelmed and probably not understand anything I was talking about. I understand and accept this fact.

For one time only, I want to change the tone of this entry. There are some thoughts that have been on my mind that I would like to get feedback and input on. Often, I have a hard time seeing things from another perspective so I appreciate hearing people's opinions on anything. Here's my attempt to put my thoughts into words.

I am a very black or white type of person. This is the way I see the world. I don't like gray. Gray makes me uncomfortable. I like to have answers to questions and will take the time needed in order to find what I am looking for. Lately, I have been wondering who I really am. Everyday feels like a battle with two opposing sides fighting to be me. It seems I am both at different times, but how can I be if they are on opposite ends of the spectrum? For example, here is a list of "black or white" that I have been trying to decide which I am:

- Am I secure or am I insecure?
- Am I strong or am I weak?
- Am I selfish or selfless?
- Do I work for what I want or wait for it to come to me?
- Am I really stable or on the brink of falling apart?
- Am I serious or am I fun loving?
- Do I want to be mature or still act young?

Maybe I am all of these things. Maybe I am still really young so I haven't figured out who I am. Maybe I am both and being both is normal. Maybe I am turning 25 next year and starting to have a quarter life crisis. Maybe I haven't had to work in 5 days and have too much time on my hands to think. Mostly, I just feel confused about what I really am. I can feel so secure some days and the next day feel insecure. So which am I and is that who I really am or who I'm pretending to be? Is this making any sense?

What I have learned about people is that the majority of the time when they come to me needing to talk, get advice, or be listened to; all they are looking for is to feel understood and have their feelings validated. Basically that is what I am asking here. Thanks you for virtual listening to some of my thoughts this week!

Recent Happiness

There have been two announcements in the past week that have made me super happy and excited. Sure it's Christmas time and I am happy about that, but I have much more to look forward to now!

1. U2 has a new CD coming out. I can't wait! The band's website said:

"No Line On The Horizon, the new studio album from U2, will be released on Monday 2nd March 2009.

Written and recorded in various locations, No Line On The Horizon is the group’s 12th studio album and is their first release since the 9 million selling album How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, released in late 2004.

Sessions for No Line On The Horizon began last year in Fez, Morocco, continued in the band’s own studio in Dublin, before moving to New York’s Platinum Sound Recording Studios, and finally being completed at Olympic Studios in London.


2. I saw a preview for the new movie "Earth" and I don't think I have felt this excited to see a movie in a long time! The movie follows "the epic migratory journeys of four animal families as well as the earth's journey around the sun and the massive influence it has on all life on the planet, from the Arctic spring to the Antarctic winter."


Just watch the preview and I know you will feel the same. The movie doesn't open until Earth Day on April 22. I will be patiently waiting until then.

Snow Day!

I think the end of the world is coming soon. I came home from work yesterday and this is what my house looked like. Really?!

Recent Readings

Here are a few really great books that I've read in the past few months. Any other recommendations? I need some really good books to read over Christmas break.