"Something To Believe In" And One Fun Night!!

This post is mostly, well okay, about 90% dedicated to the Bret Michaels concert Ry, I and a friend of ours went to the other night, but first I just wanted to share just a little bit of my Christmas with you guys.

Phew...it's been a crazy busy last few days. Christmas was so, so good this year. Totally different than any other Christmas I have ever had before, but different in such a great way. It's really different seeing Christmas from the eyes of children. Kind of melts your heart just a bit. Obviously, this was the first Christmas that either myself or my family has had a Christmas with kids around. I have to say having Ry and his two kids there for Christmas was a great addition to our family. Ry the kids and I spent Christmas Eve at Ry's parents house, and then Christmas day we spent the whole day with my family. It was great! There were a few times over the two days when I was kind of left "breathless" with how good the day was. It was a totally different kind of "breathless" that I have had the last two Christmas's. It was so amazing to have a Christmas filled with love again. Ry and I set a limit for our little gift exchange and I have to say he did a great job. He got me, a medicine ball (we are going to start working out together), a jewelry box, hats and gloves, UofM slippers, Bath and Body works shower gel, a UofM sweat shirt, and a paper shredder. (I know boring, but I wanted one). I think he did amazingly well in the gift department if you ask me. Our first Christmas was truly great! You want to know another wonderful thing Ry did with me on Christmas day? Well for the last two Christmas's I have gone to Shawn's grave. I knew I wanted and needed to go again this year but was trying to figure out a good time to go with all of the running we were doing. I asked Ry if he wanted and would go out with me and he did. So the two of us went out there, it was the first time Ry had gone to the cemetery with me, so it was kind of a big deal. We went out, Ry wiped the snow off of Shawn's head stone and the two of us just stood there for a few minutes. Then Ry asked me if I wanted a few minutes alone and gave me a quick hug. I could not have asked for Ry to respond in a better way. I was also so happy that I got to go and spend a few moments with Shawn. This Christmas was really one to remember and I'm glad that it was not as sad as the last few have been.

Here is a picture of the four of us plus Bo. As you can see by the picture none of us, including Bo could get our act together and take a decent picture. As bad as this one is, it's the best one that we all took. Yes, that is my mom's hand holding up the tennis ball for Bo to look at. He will do anything for a tennis ball.

Okay...now onto Bret Michaels!!!! Holy cow I was so excited on Monday I just about could not even stand myself. For those of you who don't know I LOVE Bret Michaels. Poison was one of the first tapes that I ever bought and I listened to it over and over again. Something to Believe in is probably one of my favorite songs of all time. Well that and Ever Rose Has It's Thorn. I'm not lying when I say that I wore out my tape. I'm not usually attracted to guys with long blond hair, or guys who wear eye liner, and skin tight jeans, but I'm sorry Bret Michaels is just plain smokin hot!!! I have always wanted to see Poison, and Bon Jovi in concert but have never been able too. Well, a few months ago it was announced that Bret Michaels would be coming to our local casino with two great other 80's hair bands, Firehouse and Warrant. I read it on the casino's web page and about jumped right out of my chair. I called Ry immediately and told him we were going. The day they went on sale I bought our tickets and have been looking forward to the night ever since.

Well, this past Monday the night finally arrived!!! Ry and I went with a friend of ours. Funny side story...we went with our friend Mary. Who I actually went to school with, her and I went to prom with the same group of people, although the two of us were never really friends. Anyways, Mary and Ry met about three years ago and have been great friends ever since. So when I met Ry I was re-introduced to Mary. Mary and I hit it off instantly and now the three of us do stuff together. So Mary went to the concert with us. Alrighty, back to the concert.....We left for the show at 7:00 because the show started at 8:00. On the way the three of us talked and listed to a Poison. We had to get ready for the concert!

We got to the casino and went to the concert hall to find our seats. For $65, I was shocked as to how good our seats were. We had GREAT seats. We were in the second big section back from the stage and we had just about center stage seats. Not to mention the huge jumbo tron screens that were also right in front of us.

The first bad to play was Firehouse and they were super great and totally full of energy. For those of you who don't know some of their famous 80's songs are "Don't Treat Me Bad", "Don't Walk Away", and perhaps their most famous "Love of a Lifetime" They played all of those plus more and put on a great show.


"Love of A Lifetime!"

Mary, Ry and I in between bands.

After Firehouse was Warrant. They were also really really good and totally rocked the house. Their all time famous song is "Cherry Pie" I'm almost sure if you like 80's music you remember that song.


"She's my cherry pie...."

One of Ry and I. Good picture besides the fact you can totally see up my nose! Ha!

After both Firehouse and Warrant, there was about a 20 minute break and Bret (yeah, I just call him Bret) finally took the stage. I was so dang excited!!! I was a little nervous because I had heard from people that when he tours without Poison he mainly plays his new stuff. However, much to my surprise he played only a few new songs and totally rocked out on old Poison. I was as giddy as a school girl. He sang, "Talk Dirty to Me," "Look What the Cat Dragged In", "Nothing But a Good Time", "Fallen Angel", and thank you God he sang my two favorites, "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" and "Something To Believe In" I tell you when he played those songs I got total goose bumps. It was AWESOME!!
Bret taking the stage for the first time.
Bret singing away....
Ya see that...Bret is pointing to me. (NOT! but I can pretend he is)
A half way decent close up
The hat comes off and the famous bandanna goes on. He can totally rock that!
Telling us the next song he is going to sing is "Something To Believe In"

Amazing!!!!!

Bret coming back out on stage for his encore!!

Ry, Marry and I had such a great night!! We all were so happy we went to the concert. However, we all wished we could go back in time and live in the 80's. I think we all decided we could rock it 80's style for a while. I was singing the songs I heard that night for the whole next day. Who am I kidding...I'm still singing them in my head!

Okay, am I the only crazy one or do some of you happen to thing Bret is darn sexy and secretly in love with him. I know I'm not the only one...tell me I'm not!

Phew!! Here is a Big Bulleted Update with Lots of Pictures!

Holy Cow!! I'm actually sitting down on the couch with the laptop on my lap writing a blog post! Can you believe it?? I'm so so very sorry for neglecting my blog lately. The month of December has just been crazy busy. It seems like when I have time to sit down and compose a post I just get tired and end up dozing on the couch. Lame I know, but what can I say? I think what it comes down too is that I just need to have better time management skills. Then I think I would have enough time to write a post a few times a week. That is going to be my New Years Resolution, to manage my time better so I have more time to write my blog. I can not believe that this is only my second post in all of December. Totally inexcusable if you ask me! I love, love writing my blog, I love reading yours and reading your comments to me. With that said, I'm going to try much harder to get my stuff together and be on here more for you. Thank you for those of you who have understood that life "got in the way" and who have stuck with me during the last few weeks of absent posting.

I had a crazy long post all wrote out in my head, but after thinking about it I decided that nobody really wanted to hear all about my Thanksgiving beings that it was over a month a go. So instead what I'm going to do in this post is catch you all up of what has been going on during the last month in a picture/bulleted post. Hope you don't mind.

*So ya, my Thanksgiving was pretty great and totally different that any Thanksgiving in the past. However, it was totally different in a totally great way! Ry and I were going to spend Thanksgiving day with his family and then the day after with mine, doing our family traditions. However at the very last minute we got invited by one of his best friends who lives in Columbus, Ohio to go and visit them and watch the OSU vs. UofM football game and spend the weekend hanging out. Ry and I jumped at that chance. I mean really who would turn down a chance to see the OSU vs UofM football game versus going shopping on Black Friday. I mean I love to shop and have always, always gone with my Mom and Sister, but I just could not pass this opportunity up. So, we split Thanksgiving Day between both of our parents houses. Then on Black Friday we loaded up the car and were off for a weekend of SUPER FUN!!

As we were just about 45 minutes from Ry's friends house he called and asked us if we wanted to go to a hockey game. It just so happened that the Red Wings were playing Columbus. Holy Cow are you serious?? Do we want to go see the Red Wings. Uh, hell ya we do!!! So we got to their house, unloaded the car, hung out for a bit then we jumped back in the car and headed to the arena. We didn't have tickets so we just figured we would "scalp" crappy tickets once we got down there. We found some guys selling tickets and they said they just wanted to get rid of them and to offer them something. The guys told us they were lower level seating, which typically are good seats but he didn't think these tickets were the best. So between the four of us we paid $160. We thought it was a huge steal considering the tickets we got were $90 dollar seats. So we walk in and keep going down the stairs to our seats. We kept going and going and going. Little did we know our seats were ON THE ICE!! I kid you not our seats were one row off of the ice. Ry and I about crapped our pants. We couldn't have been more excited. We also had a great time and to top it off the Red Wings WON!!

You see the glass in this picture, we could reach out and touch it. Holmstrom and the team were so close to us you could see the beads of sweat on their faces. It was truly amazing!

Here is a picture of the Head Coach and the team, we were sitting right a crossed the ice from their bench.

Last but not least a picture of Ry and I at the game.

So the hockey game was on Friday, on Saturday the four of us got up kinda early and then spent the day at the football game. Unfortunately, UofM did not come up with a win like the Wings did but the four of us sure did have fun at the game. After the game we were all pretty tired so we went home, chilled out for a while and then we headed to a local sports bar for dinner and drinks. We went back home, watched a movie and were all sleeping by midnight. It was a fun, amazing day, but it was also long and the four of us were beat. On Sunday Ry and I got up and headed home to our families.

*Okay, so that sums up our Thanksgiving weekend. The next weekend we went to a winter ball. One of Ry's friend's dad suddenly died a few months ago. They found out that he died from undetected heart disease. Well, his daughter in law, who I have gotten to be great friends with has to put on a charity ball every year. This year because of her Father-In Laws passing she teamed up with the American Heart Association and the money from our tickets went to that cause. Obviously, with Shawn dying from a heart attack the cause was near and dear to me. So Ry and I and a bunch of our friends all decided to go and support Nicole and her family. It ended up being another, totally fun, amazing night. It was one of those nights that you really did not want to end because everyone was just having so much fun. We all sat around our table, talked, bid on silent auction items, had a few drinks, and danced our feet off. Awesome, awesome night, it was three weeks ago and our group of friends are still talking about it and the fun we had.
Ry and I

Us again.

Here is our big group of friends. See we had fun! I'm so glad that Ry's friends and their wives have embraced me and have welcomed me into their big happy group! I love each of them!

*The weekend after the ball I had to go to Ohio for two purposes. One of which was to take care of some things dealing with Shawn. Not fun at all and was a totally stressful day.Once again the love and support from Jennie, Lora, Meg and Ry totally got me through the day. I really have the best friends and the best boyfriend ever! Even though I had a stressful day it all ended great because I got to spend time with Jennie and Lora. Since I was already there Jennie, Lora and I decided to have our third annual Christmas party. It was cut kind of short and Lora and Luca had to leave a little early because Youngstown I swear to you was experiencing a blizzard during my three day stay. Despite the snow we all had a great time. We all tried to be crafty this year and make our gifts to each other. Lora totally blew Jennie and I out of the water by making us Christmas wreaths made out of garland and Christmas bulbs. With her "crafty-ness" we made a rule for next year. We each have to make our gifts. Nothing pre-made or bought at a store, we must make it! We are all slightly competitive so it should be interesting. I'm about sure that Jennie and Lora have already started thinking of their ideas...I know I have.
Here are the three of us in our matching winter happy scarves, part of our gift from Jennie.

Well, that takes us to last week. Since then I have been doing all things Christmas. I have shopped, and shopped some more. I have written out over 45 Christmas cards...all by hand mind you. I decided not to write my annual letter and just write in each of them so it took me forever! I just have to put the darn things in the mail box. Last Friday was my work Christmas party and Ry and I went. It was fun and guess what my Christmas bonus was? Okay, I will just tell you because you will never in a million years guess it. We each had to play these little games and after each person won we got to pick our prize which ended up being our bonus. Well, for some crazy reason I actually won the first game, so I got to pick the prize. My boss took me to this room and told me to pick a prize. I could not believe my eyes. I was totally expecting a bottle of lotion from Bath and Body works and maybe $25, which would have been totally appreciated. However, much to my surprise we could pick from a variety of "big" items. I picked the 32 inch flat screen hi-def t.v. I could not believe it!! I jumped up and down and told my boss thank you so much. She thanked me for doing such an awesome job and loved what I was doing in the baby room.

Today I took a grave blanket to the cemetery and put it on Shawn's grave. With working so much I got it out there later than the last two years and I felt kind of guilty about that, but it's there now and I got to have my little talk with Shawn and I guess that is all that matters. Boy, I sure do miss him, but I also can still feel him with me and I'm so grateful for that feeling.

The rest of this week I will be wrapping about a million gifts for my family and friends. And then this weekend Ry and I will be splitting the days between our families. It should be fun, but a little bit busy and crazy. However, I'm looking forward to Christmas this year and that is something I have not been able to say the last two years.

I have some time off coming so I will have more time to update my blog the next week or so. Thank you for sticking by me and for reading my blog even with delays between posts. I love you guys!

I'm Alive!!

I just wanted to let you all know that I am indeed alive! I know it has been a while since I have last posted. It has been a CRAZY last few weeks. I do have a fun post for you. We have been doing lots of fun things the last few weeks and I can't wait to share it all with you. However, tonight I need to get stuff around for the week and also go out to the blizzard and scrape of the mounds of snow on my car so I don't have to do it at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow when I have to go to work. I also have a sick puppy sitting right on my lap making it hard to type. I promise you a post sometime in the next few days. I hope I didn't lose any readers or turn any of you off to my blog since I have not posted in a while. I just needed to step away for a while and get somethings done and take care of a few things. I'm also sorry I haven't commented on very many blogs, but I have been reading. That should count for a little something. :) Please stay tuned for a post in the next few days!

Please Stay With Me

I want to post a real post right now I really really do. I had a great Thanksgiving. Ry and I went away for the weekend and had a ton of fun and I really want to share that with you too. However, Ry's family has been hit with sadness. On Saturday morning we found out that his Uncle, who was only 50 and had a loving family suddenly passed away. The last few days of been hard on everyone, and it is hitting close to home for me. I want to share Thanksgiving and our fun filled weekend with you, but I'm guessing I won't really have time until the funeral is over on Wednesday. I promise I will fill you all in on everything then. Stick with me, I will be back in a few days.

If you could all send some prayers to Ry's family and especially to his aunt and her three kids I know they would greatly appreciate it.

Jeggings?....Yes, Jeggings

I'm sure you have all seen the latest trends in jeans, a little something called a "jegging". Seriously, I did not make up the name, its jeans and a legging all in one. The best of both worlds right? I mean who doesn't love and want a good pair of jeans or a nice comfy pair of leggings all wrapped up in one pair of pants? Well, I will tell you...me that's who. I think the concept is totally ridiculous and I seriously want nothing to do with anything called a jegging, let alone to wear something on my body with that name. (or so I thought)

I do NOT consider myself a fashion expert by any stretch of the imagination. I would love to be, but I'm just not. Like I've said before I'm doing something crazy with an outfit if I change my necklace or earrings. I pretty much am a jeans and V-neck T-shirt kinda girl. As a matter of fact jeans and I have LOTS of them are about the only type of pants that I wear other than yoga pants or my oh so comfy flannel pajama pants. With that being said I do have my own little list of fashion "rules"
1). Never wear navy blue and black together. Okay, maybe that is just me but it drives me wild when I see this.
2)Once you reach a certain age, like any age over 21 you should not wear any type of pants with words or writing a crossed the butt. Really who wants to read words on your ass anyways?
3)Again this is just my opinion but I think if you have curves like I do you just should not wear leggings,"skinny" jeans, or jeggings because, well, they just aren't all that flattering and I think show off all the wrong things. Also, I think the age factor should come into play when thinking about buying jeggins, as in don't do it if you are over 21, okay, maybe 25 at the max.
Again, these are just my opinions, I don't mean to offend anyone or put anyone down in their fashion choices.

Just a little background on by body type. I do not consider myself "fat" or overweight by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm not rail thin either. When it comes to jeans I typically wear a size 8 depending on the style but keep in mind I'm curvy. I have a rather big chest, kinda flat tummy (I'm working on getting it flatter) a really tiny waste, but then I have a butt and bigger thighs. So I have curves and I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all, but I also don't think I should be walking around in jeggings because of the curvy factor.

Well, last weekend I went shopping with a new girlfriend who happens to always look cute and have on the cutest/fashionable clothes and I'm not talking jeans and v-necks like me. Ha! She had on the cutest pair of jeans and I asked her where she got them, because well I love jeans and I always can find room for just one pair. Like 19 pairs isn't enough! To be fair they are in all different sizes and some of them I can't wear anymore, I think I only have about ten that I wear all the time. Okay, I digress. Anyways, she said they weren't jeans but they were jeggings. I swear to you I rolled my eyes in disgust. She went on to tell me they were the most comfortable things she had ever worn and that she loved them. Next, she told me that I should try on a pair, that I would fall in love with them and want a pair. I told her that I thought the concept of a jegging is totally ridiculous and that I would never ever try on a pair, let alone get a pair and wear them. Just was not going to happen, plain, and simple!

Well we shopped and each picked up a few things. Then we went to JC Penney's a store in which I rarely can find anything for me. Although I did get two super cute sweaters there for my birthday. It just so happens that this is the store she got her jeggings at. She kept telling me I should just try them on, and that I would love them. So, only to please her and give a good laugh to myself as I was trying them on, I decided to make her happy and try on a pair of the oh so popular jegging. I went to pick out my standard size 8 only to find they didn't come in numbered sizes but in Small, Medium, Large and Extra Large. Great! Now I was going to have to try on a pair of pants with a label of large because I knew there was no way that these tight, skinny pants were going to fit on my curvy bottom half. Nicole, said that the size she had was a medium, so I decided to start there. I went into the dressing room already cracking up at the thought of pulling jeggings up over my thighs. I was just about 100% sure they wouldn't even go over my calf, let alone thigh. I got them over my calf, kept pulling them up and got them over my thigh, uh...who would have thought? I got the so called jeggings pulled up all the way, tried on a long sweater with it, looked in the mirror and much to my surprise was 110% shocked and surprised at how they looked! I walked out of the dressing room and Nicole said, "See I told you!" with a big ole smile on her face. I was also happy and a little shocked because these pants that were supposed to be tight, were even a little big on me and a small would fit perfectly. They were actually very, very comfortable! I stood there looking at myself in the mirror and was kind of amazed. These so called jeggings things actually made my legs look tall and do I dare say "skinny" and it's not often that my thighs look skinny.

I hate to admit it but I totally caved and bought them! Damn, you Nicole!!! I had too, like I said they made my thighs look kinda skinny! You gotta do what you gotta do for skinny looking thighs! I have a few long sweaters and they look super cute with them! Here is the pair that I got


So what do you think? Cute or no? I know I totally at 33 years old broke my own fashion rule and now wear jeggings. However, I'm adding a number four to my fashion list and it is this...
4)If you are over the age of 25 and wear jeggins you MUST wear a long sweater or long shirt with them! MUST!!

With buying the jeggins it also made me have a shoe dilemma. You just can't wear "regular" shoes with jeggins because well, it just looks silly. You either have to wear heels, which I don't do well, those ballet flat shoes, which I can't wear because they hurt my feet, or those cute little boots that everyone is wearing that you can pull up over the jeans. So onto Target Nicole and I went and there I found these cute and comfy black boots to wear with my jeggins.


Once again do you think they are cute?

I'm 100% certain that at 33 years old I will be oh so cool and fashionable now with my recent purchase of the jegging and these little boots. Yeah right!!!

Adjusting Again

I really do love my new job, but I have to admit I'm kind of having a hard time adjusting to my new work schedule. I hate to admit it but I'm a creature of habit and I really don't like change all that much. In fact a big change like working for the first time in a little over two years I don't like at all, I'm not going to lie!

The first year that Shawn was gone I took off of work entirely. I took that time to grieve, to figure things out, and to just try to learn to live again. It was so nice to not have to worry about going to work and having a bad day there. That in itself was a comfort to me, after all I never did or still do know when a bad day will just sneak up. However, during that year I also got very used to doing things when I wanted. If I wanted to sleep in I did, if I wanted to stay up late I did. If I wanted to go to the gym I did. If I wanted to go to Ohio to see my friends I just got in the car and went. I really became used to doing things and going places when I liked. I realized that work was "over rated" and that way to many people stress out about not having enough hours in the day because their job took up so much of their time. I realized that there is much more to life than working a 40 hour a week job. Unfortunately, my bank account also started to realize that it was running out of money and there were still bills that needed to be paid. I so did not want to go back to work but knew I had to find something at least part time to get me back into the swing of things. So, with a gentle nudge, or rather push from several of my friends I found the perfect job for me.

One week before the one year anniversary of Shawn's death I found an amazing family through a friend of mine and I started babying for their two children anywhere between 15-25 hours a week. It was perfect for me. I again had a responsibility but for the most part I could still do the things I wanted and needed to do. I went to the gym, I paid bills, I went on trips. The family was also totally flexible with me as well so if I ever needed to change days it was not that big of a deal. However when I started I knew it would only be a job for one year because both of the kids would be going to school. My last day of work was in August. This is when the true full time job hunting began.

From the end of August until about three weeks ago I did not have a job at all, and I have to admit once again it was so nice to do things when I wanted. Yeah, I got bored from time to time but it was also nice to have the freedom that working a 40 hour a week job takes away from you. About three and a half weeks ago I started working at my new full time, 40 hour a week job. I work Monday through Thursday from 7:30-5:30 with Friday's off. Thank goodness I have Friday's off, otherwise I'm not sure I would make it.

I really do love my job. I'm the lead infant teacher in a room with five sweet babies. Since I'm the only one in the room I can only have four at a time by myself. The ages of the babies are 5 months, 6 months, 8 months, 10 months, and 12 months. Needless to say my work day FLY'S by fast! Since I'm alone in my room I either changing a diaper, feeding a baby, rocking a baby or playing with a baby all day long. I seriously do not sit down unless I am rocking a baby to sleep, and even that I usually do on the floor playing or talking to a baby sitting next to me. A ten hour day really goes fast and I was so worried it would drag, but it it the total opposite. Today I had no clue it was noon and time for my break when the director came in and told me.

It's not the new job that is the problem. It's adjusting to the new schedule. I'm a night person who also happens to need my sleep. I used to stay up until midnight or 1:00am, then sleep in til 8:30-9:00. Then get up and go to the gym everyday. I now can to stay up that late, or rather should not stay up that late because I need to get up by 6:00 am. And NO gym, which by the way is making me go and feel insane. Working out is such a stress reliever for me. It is also an adjustment for me to not get things done during the day when I'm used to doing them. I always went grocery shopping during the day, who wants to do that at night after work? No me! I'm used to seeing Ry and the kids right after he got out of work and the kids got out of school, now I don't see them until almost 6:00 at night. I miss talking to my friends on the phone during the day. Yes, Megan and I typically talk at least a few minutes every day on the phone. Now, we have to fit it in on my lunch, and well that just does not cut it. I don't really like the fact that I have to come home at night and do the things such as cleaning and laundry that I used to do during the day.

I so don't mean to complain and sound like a spoiled brat who has never worked. Up until Shawn died I always worked full time and did exactly what I'm doing now with doing things at night and on the weekends and I got in a rhythm, I just need to find that rhythm again. There are millions of woman out there who do way more than I do and do it damn well.

I've adjusted to a whole lot worse in my life, I know I will adjust to the new schedule I just think it's going to take a little time. Thank goodness I like my job, I would hate to think how awful it would be if I didn't.

Birthday Business

Good grief! I've attempted to write this post about four different times and each and every time I have been interrupted and never got a chance to go back and finish writing it. So, I decided to sit down tonight while watching the hockey game and try to finish it up, if not it's going to be totally out of date and I'm sure you all won't care because what I'm going to tell you about happened over a week ago.

Well, for those of you who don't know and aren't friends with me on Facebook last Tuesday was my 33rd birthday. It was my third birthday without Shawn and my first birthday with Ry. I don't know why but for some reason I was a little nervous about this. Well, maybe nervous isn't the right word, I guess rather I didn't know what to expect on this birthday. You see Shawn always made a big, big deal about my birthday. Ever since my first birthday with him he had these little traditions that he did every year for me. He just had a way of making it "special" with out really doing all that much. Obviously, the last two years that didn't happen but my family and friends did what they could to make up for it.

This year I just wasn't sure what to expect from Ry and I didn't want to compare what he would or would not do to what Shawn did. I have tried very, very hard not to compare the two of them.
Some people make a big deal out of birthdays and some just don't so I didn't want to put or rather get any expectations in my head. Well, Ry was the very first person to wish my a happy birthday. I actually had kind of forgotten it was my birthday and right around midnight the two of us were talking, he turned around, looked at the clock and then at 12:05 the told me happy birthday, told me he loved me and gave me a kiss. The next morning he also was the first person to tell me as well. As I was leaving work I sent Ry a text message asking if he had eaten lunch yet. I was starving and was going to go get something and take it to him at work. He texted me back and said that he had already had lunch and that he was really busy at work. Again he told me happy birthday, he loved me and he would see me later. With that I went home figuring I would just see him and the kids later. On my drive home Tina, Ry's sister called and the two of us were talking. I had a ton of stuff to carry into the house and I was on the phone the whole time just yapping away. I put my key in the door and pushed the door open. For some reason the door was stuck, I figured one of Bo's toys were behind it acting as a door stopper so I just pushed the door open a little harder, still while talking to Tina. I finally got the door opened, put my purse on the couch, said hi to Toby (the cat) then I turned around and got the ever living crap scared out of me!! Much to my surprise Ry was waiting behind the door for me!! I had NO idea he was there and when I finally saw him I screamed a rather uhm-bad word! Tina thought that there was a mouse in the house or something really bad with how I screamed.

After my heart rate returned back to normal Ry told me that he decided to take a half day off of work to surprise me and to spend the afternoon together. I was so stinking shocked and happy that he did that for me. So, before we picked his kids up from school the two of us went to a movie. We decided to see Jackass! For sure not the most romantic movie ever, oh who am I kidding there was NOTHING romantic about it but the two of us laughed so damn hard through the entire movie. Ry also got me a long sleeve UofM t-shirt, because he knew I didn't have one and a super cool Detroit Red Wing t-shirt as well! Ry didn't have time to take the kids shopping but he did pick out a super cool gift for them to give to me. They got me a UofM snuggie because I'm always so darn cold. I tell you what, when the snuggie's first came out I laughed so hard at them, but I swear to you they are the best things ever. I have curled up in mine every night on the couch.

Later that night Ry, the kids and I met my family, and his family at Applebee's for dinner. Yummy in my tummy!! I got so many new clothes for my job from our families and I have to say some super cute sweaters and leggings. I'm not so sure about those leggings yet but I figured I would give them a try. If you are curvy and 33 years old can you still wear leggings? After dinner Ry and I went out the rest of the night with several of our friends. We all had so much fun! I had a great birthday and it was for sure the best since Shawn has been gone. Even though he wasn't there I really could still feel him with me for my birthday.

I also got a birthday card from Shawn's parents and his Grandma. Since Shawn's death we have had our differences and really don't talk all that much. Maybe this is my fault, maybe it's there's, I really don't know. I'm glad they still consider me "family" and they thought about me on my birthday, but at the same hand it still is hard for me when they do "think" about me if that makes any sense at all. I called both of them and thanked them for the cards. I ended up getting into a long conversation with Shawn's Grandma, who I have always loved and gotten along with really well. We talked about Ry and she told me how happy she was that I had finally "moved on" Those words, "finally" and "moved on" just really bugged me. She said that she was happy that I had found someone and that she knew Shawn would not want me to be alone and unhappy the rest of my life. We talked about my new job and about a few other things. Then right before i got off the phone with her she told me she wanted to tell me something because she didn't want it to upset me should I ever go to her house. I asked her what it was and she told me. When you walk into her house there is one big wall. On the wall is every grandchild's senior picture, and once you get married it changes to your wedding picture. Well, she went on to tell me that last week she decided to take down our wedding picture and put up just Shawn's senior picture. I have no idea why, but that bothered me really, really bad. I don't even have our wedding picture up anymore, but I about broke into tears when she told me this. I know and I realize that I'm not married to him anymore, but at the same hand it's not like the two of us got a divorce. It just bugged me and I know she didn't mean any harm in it and didn't mean to hurt me. I guess this is why it's hard for me to be around and talk to Shawn's family, even though I'm happy and in a great new relationship with Ry, it's still just so hard to talk to and be around them. Too many memories I guess. I also told her that I would not be going to Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. She told me that they were trying to decide whether or not they should invite me or not this year. I told her thank you but that it was just to hard and that I need to start making new traditions with Ry, his family and my family. We ended our call by saying we loved each other and with me crying. Sometimes, it's just hard plain and simple.

I had a great birthday! Ry totally surprised me and made it a wonderful way and in a totally different way than Shawn did, which was good. Thank you to all of you who wished me happy birthday on Tuesday, it meant a lot to me!! The next birthday coming up is Ry's, this coming Wednesday. Yup, I'm a cougar by 8 days!! Then Shawn's 34 birthday would have been on November 21. Kinda funny that all of our birthday's are just a few weeks apart from each others. Or, maybe it was meant to me that way.

Happy Halloween!!

This weekend we had a fun weekend, so I decided to tell you all a little about it and show you a few pictures of the Halloween weekend festivities.

Friday night one of Ry's friend's, which have since become my friends as well had their annual Halloween party. Of course it was an adult costume party as well. Ry and I tried and tried to think of something "creative" to be, but between the two of us it appears we have very little creativity. So with one week to go until the party we made a bad dash to a local store and decided to go with a store bought costume. All in all the costumes worked for us, but lacked creativity in a big, big way. We decided the next morning that we would get a jump on next year's costumes and start thinking early what we would be. Where Ry and I lacked in creativity others took over and let me tell you, there were some great, well thought out costumes. I'm so impressed with what other people can not only think of but yet pull off as far as costumes go.

One of my favorites was a group of four people that all got together and went as The Beverly Hillbillies, complete with their "truck"
How awesome are these costumes and the truck is just priceless. They took their yard gator and decked it out Clampett style. The Clampett's rode to the party in style in their gator blaring the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies. Way, way, way too funny!!

I think the second best costume of the night went to my friend Nicole. She dressed up as Flo. You know the girl from the Progressive auto insurance commercials.
Nicole was an awesome Flo and played the part very well.

Perhaps one of the funniest parts of the night was when we all decided to go and tee-pee the neighbor's house. This particular neighbor always attends all of the parties and for some reason they decided to skip out on Friday's party. Well, those of us who were there just could not handle that. So we waited for their lights to go out for the night, then for a good humored practical joke we got the best two ply toilet paper we could find and all 15 of us at the party had some fun tee-peeing their house. Just so that you know much later on in the night the neighbors got up to get a drink, saw their yard and came over to the party. They thought it was funny and told us all what a good job they did.

Nicole and I were so proud of our work.
Just for the record this was the very first time I had ever tee-peed a house. I have to say it was kind of fun. Yeah, you see my costume....no creativity what so ever. I'm not even sure what I was. Ry and I thought it was a combination of a vampire or a sorceress.

Later on in the night Nicole and I decided to take the Clampett's truck out for a spin. The things they attached to the gator still makes me laugh. For those of you who used to watch The Beverly Hillbillies (like I did every morning) it was a very close resemblance of the original, and yes it was complete with chairs in the back.
Here is one of Ry and I. See I told you, not creative at all. I had a great idea a few weeks ago to be Kenny Chesney (everyone says Ry looks like him) and I would be Dolly Parton (clearly I could pull that one off ;) but Ry wasn't too thrilled with that idea. So with lacking creativity he was an Under Lord, whatever the hell that is supposed to be and I was a Sorceress. Oh and just for the record I don't typically walk around with the uhm..."girls" all exposed like that. But I figured what the hell it was Halloween.

Saturday we didn't do much of anything except for recover from Friday' nights party. I did take Ry's kids birthday for him. Get this...my 33rd birthday is tomorrow and Ry's 33rd is next Wednesday....kinda weird huh?

Sunday was the big day of Trick-or-Treating. The kids asked ALL day long how much longer, how much longer. Finally, it was time to go candy collecting. We took the kids to Ry's parent's neighborhood and we walked around with Ry's sister her kids and a few other of their cousins for about an hour. All in all it was a good night and most importantly the kids had a great time.

Here is Ry's little girl all dressed up as Dorthy from The Wizard of Oz.

His little boy ready to go as Bumble bee from The Transformers.

One of all five of the cousins. I have to say I did a good job snapping this picture. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get five kids to look at the camera at the same time, let a lone smile? I think it turned out rather good.

Last but not least a picture of Ry, myself, and the kids just before we left for Trick-or-Treating.

After that busy weekend I spend Sunday night curled up on the couch, sipping hot chocolate and chatting with Nicole...aka Flo who came over for a few hours because Ry went out with some friends. Good fun filled weekend, just the way I like them!

So You Want to Hear About My New Job Huh?

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I FINALLY got a job!! Not that I really wanted a job but after two years of not working it was time that I needed a job more than anything. Anyways I seriously started looking in the beginning of August and seriously nothing happened until a few weeks ago. That's when I got lucky. I actually owe the family and my friend I babysat for during the last year for a HUGE thank you for setting this all up for me.

About two weeks ago she called and told me the center where her daughter is now at was hiring for a preschool teacher. She didn't know how much, the hours or really any of the details, but she told me how much she loved the center. She also said that she had talked to the director about me and that I could come for an interview the next day. With that I called the director and set up a time to meet with her the next day. I went in and met with her. It wasn't so much of an interview as a get to know each other type of thing. She looked at my resume, told me I was more than qualified and she really liked that I had so much experience in the field of Early Childhood. I was secretly thinking "Hallafreakinyulla, it's about time somebody gets it!!" She also went on to tell me that she actually likes her staff to have a bit more experience. We talked a little bit more and she told me what position she had available. If I were to get the job I would be spitting lead teaching duties between two classrooms, the Toddler room two days a week and then teaching preschool two days a week. Even though I really liked her and the center I was a little bit disappointed. I secretly really wanted there to be an opening for a lead position in the infant room. However, as well as being director she was lead in the infant room and didn't really want to give up those sweet little babies. I thought about it for a split second and decided that I really didn't have the luxury to be all that picky about what room to work in, especially since it was a good center. The very next day I went in for my second interview, which was a working interview. I split my time that day between the Toddler room and the Preschoolers. All in all it was great and I had a really good time. The director told me she felt like I would do a great job and be a great fit in the center, but she just wanted to run things by the other staff first. The following day she called me and offered me the job. I of course accepted! She also told me she had a change of plans where she wanted me to be. Instead of switching she wanted me to be lead in the Toddler room. I was a bit happier with that and was excited to get started.

Last week I went in and worked a few hours to start some of my training and to meet the kids in my room. So I went in last Friday to work for a few hours and the Director met me in the toddler room and told me she wanted to talk to me about something. She went on to tell me that after seeing me with the Toddlers and how good I was with them that she would love for me to take over her spot as Lead in the Infant room!! I was super excited!!! I was going to have my own room with five cute little babies!! Later that day we also talked a little about my hours. Here are the details.....
*The money is the most money I have ever made at any center I have ever worked at. AND after my 90 probation period I will get a raise, providing they like what I have done in the Infant room.
*Paid holidays and one paid sick/vacation day a month.
*Since I haven't worked full time in a little over two years the director is easing me into it. I worked 10 last week, 25 this week, 30 next and the will start full time the next.
*I will be working four ten hour days with Fridays of 7:30-5:30 Monday-Thursday. How nice is that? A three day weekend every week!! Sweet!!!
*I will have my own room filled with sweet, snugly, yummy smelling babies. Ages newborn to 12 months!

So with all of that I'm very excited about this job and the possibilities it will bring me. However, now as my full time days are getting closer I'm kinda starting to mildly freak out just a teeny tiny bit. I know it sounds stupid, SO SO stupid, but I can't help it, here is what I'm worried about.
*I'm worried about not getting "stuff" done. For the last two years I have had every day, all day to do what I need to do. Now granted it hasn't been all that important, but still going from doing things five weekdays down to only one is going to take some getting used to, as well as some organization.
*I won't be able to work out every day anymore and that is probably one of the biggest things I'm freaking about. Not only am I worried about gaining weight and getting all fat but I'm worried about stress. Working out has been a huge stress reliever for me and I'm a little worried I will turn into a huge you know what if I don't get to work out. I know I will still have Friday's to hit the gym, but it won't really be the same. Oh, don't even suggest getting to the gym before work...it will not happen! WAY to early in the morning to get up!! I'm going to try really hard to work out some and to do my DVD's when I get home. But again after working 10 hours a day who really wants to come home and work out, but I will try.
*Most every day or at least every other day I talk to one of my best friend's Meg on the phone. With working all day I won't have time to talk to her. We don't talk at night because that is quality time she spends with her husband. Guess we will just have to fit everything into Friday's.
*My poor little Bo. He HATES is cage and never really goes in it unless we are gone. He has never spent that much time in a day in his cage. I SO know everyone else's dog in America stays home all day long on their own, but Bo hasn't and I know he won't like it...not one bit. He will go to school one day a week, but he will still be in his cage all day for three days. I'm hoping to be able to come home on my lunch break and let him out.
*Last but not least...I'm not used to getting up that early at all!! As a matter of fact the last two years I have turned into a big time night person. I usually stay up until at least 1:00 and get up anywhere between 8-9. No way can I stay up that late and get up at 6:00, then work ten hours.

Yes, I know all these "worries" are just plain stupid, very very very stupid. I almost feel horrible for typing them all up on here. I bet you all think I'm a huge whine-oh! But they are just little thoughts floating around in my mind. I'm excited about my job, I'm excited to be able to start earning money for myself again but it's all going to be another big adjustment I'm going to have to get used to. With that being said, I've gotten used to a whole lot worse in my life, I'm guessing I will get used to being a full time working lady as well. If not I SO plan on winning the lotto one day, so I guess I can stop working then :) Yeah right!!

10 Things About Me You Might Not Know

First of all let me say..."Yay for me for blogging three times since Friday!!" I seriously don't think I have posted three times in six days for a while. I'm going to try really hard and stick with it, I didn't like it so much when I was only posting once a week. Now for a fun little post and an idea I got from http://thecrazylifeofamomof4boys.blogspot.com
I think I might have done a similar post a while back, I'm talking a really long time ago. I was going to go back and look through all of them to back sure, but, well, I just don't feel like it. I'm guessing even if I did happen to do a similar post before the ten things will probably be different. Well, at least I hope so.

So, here are ten things about me that you might not know...in no particular order.

10. I'm kind of an anal person and probably I'm probably a little bit OCD. Clothes in my closet must me hung up in a certain order. Tank tops, t-shirts, 3/4 length shirts, long shirts, sweat shirts, then dress pants and dress cloths. All of which are hung up with the hangers all facing the same way and all are organized by color. My jeans, shorts, and capri's, are all folded with the buttons facing out. Kitchen cabinets are organized in a very similar way. Cereal boxes are organized in order of size, veggies go in alphabetical order with the newest can's going behind the older ones. Yeah, I know...I'm seriously messed up.

9. When I get tired I rub my feet back and forth. Shawn used to tell me I was going to start a fire because I would not stop rub my feet together.

8. I love getting into either flannel pajama pants or yoga pants and big t-shirt at the end of the day.

7. I totally love Diet Coke. Can not go a day with out at least one can, if not a few more. (Okay, I'm guessing you might already know that) Both my birthday and Ry's birthday are in a few weeks. Ry is going to quit smoking and I'm going to try and cut back on my Diet Coke consumption. I don't know which one of us is going to have a harder time. I've never been a smoker, but I can tell you one thing, it's going to be awfully hard not to reach into the refrigerator in the morning and get a nice cold Diet Coke can out. Lord, help both of us! :)

6. I'm a total germ freak. Because of that I love to clean! My favorite room to clean is the bathroom. I swear to you, you could eat off of the toilet seat. (should you want to of course)

5. I will only eat a banana if there is green on the skin of it and you can see teeth marks in it when you bite it. If not I think it means they are over ripe, and a smoochy, over ripe banana is just GROSS!!

4. I love mindless T.V. My favorites are The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Dancing With the Stars, and Real Housewives of Orange County and New York. I also LOVED Bethany Getting Married and I try to watch everything with her in it. I think she is freaking hysterical!!

3. I really like to bake and bake new things. However, because of my "slight" OCD and perfection problem I have, I have been known to throw things out because they haven't turned out exactly how I wanted them too. When I first met Ry, I made my "famous" chocolate chip cookies for him. At the time I didn't know it but the baking soda was old, so the cookies where all runny and didn't form into perfect circles how I like them to be. I think I ended up throwing out over half of them.

2. I only use the dark blue bottle of Snuggle fabric softener when I do the laundry. Snuggle smells so warm and cuddly and most all other fabric softener's just plain stink!

1. I love, love, love cereal and toast. I could eat it every day, for every meal if I could. Actually, right after Shawn died cereal and toast was about all I did eat.

Well, there you have it ten things about me you might not have known. Go a head and use this for your post. I love reading stuff like this about people.

Fall Fun and a Yummy Recipe

As many of you know I'm not a huge fan of fall. I mean it's pretty and all with the colorful leaves, and I know it's the time of year where we all get to pull back out our comfy sweat pants and sweat shirts, which I have to admit does feel nice to put back on. But for me fall just leads to winter which I just about 100% can not stand. With my lack of "liking" the season I really have never done much to celebrate it. I've never made "fall" foods, and I've never really decorated my house for fall. I may have slapped a wreath of colorful leaves on the door, but that was about it. Did you notice I said, "was" Yes, past tense. Oh yeah I decorated the house and the front porch for fall. I also made home made caramel corn and boy was it yummy.

The weather was perfect this weekend for decorating. It was bright and sunny all weekend, and while it was not the 85 degrees I love and prefer it was still in the middle 60's, so I guess I can not complain about it! Since it was so nice out Ry's little girl and I decided to hit the local garden store and do some fall shopping. Now, I know this may not look like much to all of you, and I know it's not really all that big of a deal, but I'm not the most crafty person ever. I always get the most grand ideas in my head, but then can never seen to pull them off. As a matter of fact trying to be "crafty" sometimes stresses me out because the end result never seems to match the vision. Anyways, at the store we brought one little boy scarecrow, and one little girl scarecrow. They were a still at $3.99 a piece. We got three little gourds, a half bale of straw or maybe hay, (not really sure) and three Mums all for just under $10.00 bucks!

So I took a "before" picture, but it didn't turn out and it had the address, and while I know you are all the sweetest people I didn't really think it was the smartest thing to have my address on the internet. Anyways, here is the front porch that Ry's little girl and I did. She wants me to tell you all that she "designed" the flower layout on the hay bale.

Here is a picture of her sitting on her hay bale.

Like I said, I know it's not much or all that extravagant compared to lots of people's front porches, but for me being not crafty, I'm kind of proud of it.

After we got the front porch done the two of us went on inside and made some caramel corn. Although it's not really as much caramel corn as it is caramel puffs. Either way it's totally yummy and melts in your mouth. Better than that it's super quick and easy to make.

Here is the recipe:

1 bag of corn pops
1 cup real butter
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup kayro syrup
1 tsp baking soda

On a greased cookie sheet spread out corn puffs. (If you want to make more than one batch it is easiest to make two different mixtures)

Bring the butter, brown sugar and kayro syrup to a boil. Stirring every few minutes. Cook for 2 minutes after it begins to boil. Remove from heat and stir in the baking soda. Next, pour the mixture over the puffs.

Bake in oven on 250 for about 30 minutes, stirring puffs around every ten minutes.

Spread out onto waxed paper, let cool (or not) and enjoy!!

Here are the corn puffs

Soaking up the yummy caramel goodness on cookie sheets.


Baking in the oven. Can you smell it? It smells wonderful and oh so yummy!!


And then cooling on the waxed paper.

Now go make some of this and enjoy. By the way these taste even better with a glass of apple cider.

Holy cow!! Guess what?? As I was writing this post. A lady called from the one childcare center I interviewed at and I finally was offered a job as a Lead Infant Teacher!!! So excited!!! And for Early Childcare the money is pretty good too!!! More to come in another post about this!!

Happy Fall!!

Please Remember....Infant Loss and Rememberance Day

Today October 15 is a very important day for many many people and many Moms. Today is the National Day of Remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. Today is a day to remember all babies who have died through a miscarriage (at any week), stillbirths, SIDS, or any other infant death.


As you all know I lost my baby, mine and Shawn's baby four weeks after his funeral. I was just a little over nine weeks pregnant. I had my first doctor's appointment with my doctor in Ohio just four days after Shawn's funeral, I should have been seven weeks at that time. At that visit my parents, Shawn's mom, and two of my best friends Jennie and Lora went with me. We all saw the little "spot" on the screen. The spot was our little baby. I still to this day for some reason carry the picture of my ultrasound in my purse with me. However, there was no heartbeat yet. The nurse and my doctor (who I loved) as well as my family and friends did their best to reassure me that it was probably just too early yet and for me not to worry about it. WAY easier said than done. My doctor wrote an order for my new doctor up in Michigan to due a follow up ultra sound one week later, at that point there should have definitely been a heartbeat. That was one of the worst weeks ever. I had to pack up my life with Shawn, say good bye to my friends, all while trying not to worry about the fact that I did not see or hear my babies heartbeat. All this time I was still very sick with morning sickness. Or rather all day sickness in my case. I was throwing up all the time and could not even stand the sight of food. I thought that as longs as I was sick it was a good thing. I remember thinking if the baby wasn't growing why else would I be so sick. I tried not to worry, but I still had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. One week after I got back to Michigan I had another ultrasound, I actually had two or three of them. At the last one it was confirmed that they baby was not growing and there was still no heartbeat. In fact, the baby had actually started shrinking. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I wanted and needed this baby so much. That baby was going to be the one thing that would always be a part of Shawn and I. My doctor wanted me to have a D&C right away. I did not want that, I did not want to go near any hospital, let alone for me to have surgery. I asked my doctor if I could wait and see if I would miscarry on my own. She told me she would let me go for three weeks, then if not a D&C would be needed. For the next three weeks I sat in my house grieving for Shawn and for our baby. I wouldn't go anywhere because I was scared of "it" happening in a public place. It turns out my body would not cooperate with me and I ended up having the D&C one month after Shawn's funeral. This entire time I was still so sick. It turns out I had the type of miscarriage where the baby doesn't grow, but the hormones are still in your body acting as if I was still pregnant. Lucky me.

Shawn and I had two different names picked out. If the baby was going to be a girl I wanted to name her Aubree Faith and he wanted to name her Rylee Ann, and if it was a boy we both agreed on Logan Robert. The day Shawn died I told everyone that if the baby was a girl I was going to name her Rylee because that is the name Shawn wanted so bad. If I would not have miscarried our baby would be 18 months old today. I haven't actually thought about that in a long time. It's even hard for me to imagine that. Today my baby is in heaven with it's Daddy and I know they are both with me and watching over me every single day. At my doctors visit in Ohio the nurse typed up on one of the ultra sound pictures the words, "I love my Daddy" and gave me that picture. When she gave it to me I remember just kinda gasping for air. I had that picture laminated and when they laid Shawn's headstone I had them put that picture under it so that it would be close to Shawn.

So today please say an extra prayer for somebody you know who has lost a baby at any age, say a prayer for their baby and for the parents as well. It will mean a lot to each of us who have gone through this.

If you want and feel comfortable doing so please leave me a comment and let me know who you will be remembering today. Or if you would like share your story with me.

8 Little Questions and 8 Little Answers

Do any of you read this blog?http://www.5thbelleavenue.com/ Well I do, every day, or every post which ever comes first. I have to say I totally LOVE her blog! As many of us, her blog is about her life. Sometimes she shares food and recipes with us, she often shares stories and pictures of wonderful trips she goes on, she talks about style and fashion. (I have to say she is also SO stinkin pretty it's not even funny), tells us about her husband and lately she has been sharing all the details about her sweet little baby boy that is due in just a month. Anyways her blog is great and she makes me either, smile, hungry, or want to go on vacation almost every single time I read one of her posts. Anyways, yesterday she posted a list of 8 questions asked of her by a friend and then 8 answers to match. So, I asked her if she cared if I used those same questions for my post today and she told me to go right on ahead that she loves reading question and answer posts. I do as well, so I figured this would be a fun little post. If any of you want to use these questions in an upcoming post of yours go right on a head.

1. What is the best vacation you have ever taken/ favorite vacation spot?
I have to be honest here and say that up until Shawn passed away I never really went on any "real" vacations. With his job we just never could. Our vacations always consisted of going back home to visit our families. However, the last two years I have been able to do some traveling, so far the best vacation I have ever been on hands down has got to be this past March when I went to Mexico with the girls. It was about one of the best weeks of my life and it was so incredibly great to go on a trip like this with the girls. It was so nice to be able to have endless yummy drinks, sit in the sun, swim in the ocean and pool all week with the girls. I'm pretty sure we will be going on a similar trip this year. Recently, one of the best trips I have been on was to Hocking Hills, Ohio for Jennie's wedding. It was a totally great weekend, and a weekend none of us wanted to end.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be/why? (Money isn't an object)
Hmmm....that is a kind of hard question. Okay, not really. As many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of winter or the snow. I actually do not like it one little bit, I really only think it should be cold and snowy one day of the year, and that is Christmas...that is it. SO....with that being said, if I could live anywhere in the world and money isn't an object I would chose to live on a beach someplace all tropical, sunny, and warm. When I was in Mexico, I joked about winning the lotto and moving to the beach. It's not just the weather, but the lifestyle there was just so laid back and go with the flow. Yeah, I think I could really get used to being a beach bum.

3. What is your "go-to" outfit? or your favorite outfit?

I have to say I'm not very fashion on top of it when it comes to fashion. I mean I keep up and try to wear what is trendy, but I'm also kinda scared of bright colors and prints. I would love to look all cute and fashionable like 5th Belle Avenue does, but it usually just doesn't happen for me. I thought I was all wild and crazy this summer when I took off my regular necklace and wore a chunky pearl necklace with a sundress.Haha! I would have to say my favorite "go-to" outfit would be a nice fitting pair of Silver or BKE blue jeans and a V-neck shirt of some sort. On a real lazy day my "go-to" outfit is a comfy pair of yoga pants and a cozy sweatshirt. Totally boring huh?

4. What are you most thankful for in your life?

Even though my life has been less that perfect to say the least the last two years I'm thankful for so many things. I'm totally thankful for my family and the support I received from them since Shawn's death. I would not have been able to get through it without them. I'm also so grateful and thankful for my best friends. We all have become so much closer and have learned to lean on each other more than ever, not to mention all the fun that we have. I'm thankful for the memories that I will always have and hold in my heart of Shawn and I. I'm thankful for my little dog Bo, we are probably way closer than any owner and dog really should be. I'm thankful that even though this is not the life I wanted or chose to live, that I'm able to look at things differently now, learn from what has happened to me and grow from it. I thankful that now two years later I now wake up and go to bed with a smile once again on my face. I'm thankful and beyond grateful that Ry is now a part of my life and the two of us have a great relationship.

5. What is one piece of advice you would give other women?

Live for today! Life is WAY to short to get all caught up on what is going to happen tomorrow, the next day or the day after. Live in the moment and be happy with what you have in the here and now, it could be gone in a blink of an eye. Ry has a picture hanging up in the living room and on the picture is the quote, " Dream as if you'll live forever, live as though you will die today."~James Dean. Also, I would tell women to make sure that you all tell your husband that you love them every single day, cherish your relationship, and try not to fight over small petty things, because it can all change in a blink of an eye.

6. What is one thing you plan to accomplish before the end of this year?

I would love to keep getting in shape. I've kind of been slacking the last few months. I need to get back into my gym routine. I would love to lose about 15 lbs and continue to gain some more muscle. I also want to keep strengthening and working on my relationships with Ry, family and friends.

7. What is your favorite purchase you have made in the past month?

Huh....I really don't know. With the whole no job thing I've been really trying not to spend money on stuff that I don't really need. Maybe I need to get to the mall sometime soon ;)

8. Do you save money for things? What are you saving for? If not, what would you like to save you money up for?

I have to say I've never been a big "saver", if I don't have the money I just don't get it. Although, I do like the idea of saving for something that I really want, then finally having enough money to get it. I would really like to save up some money and possibly go on a nice warm vacation with Ry, and his two kids. I think it would be awesome if the four of us could go to Disney Land or someplace like that.

There, questions and answers are finished. Feel free to use this on your blog.

Thank you so much to each of you who offered and gave me suggestions on my last post about job hunting. I just turned in a few more applications yesterday, so hopefully one of those will work out for me.

Oh, if you haven't checked out 5th Belle Avenue's blog yet.....go now! You won't be disappointed!

Job Hunting Equals Pure Frustration!

As many of you know after Shawn died I took time off of work. Actually, the morning he died was the last time that I worked for the entire first year. Yes, I took an entire year off of work. I was lucky enough to have moved in with my parents after I left Ohio, so I didn't really need to work. Not having to work I think was the best choice for me. By not working I was able to grieve when I wanted and how I wanted without the demands of putting on a "happy face" to go to work every day. During this time I was also able to take a lot of time and try to not only heal, but I took time to figure stuff out, to figure me out. I have to say that during this time I was able to do just that. I still to this day believe that taking that first year off of work was the right choice for me and I do not regret it at all and I'm grateful that I had the option to be able to take that time for me.

Right around the first year marker of Shawn's death I decided that I really needed to start looking for a job. Oh, wait...correction, my great best friends thought it was time that I started looking for a job. They thought it would be good for me to "get back out there" and to start working again. As much as I did not want to work and as scared as I was to start working again I agreed with them and I started to look for a job. Well there was a friend of mine who was looking for private childcare in her home for her two children about 15-35 hours a week. I instantly thought this would be a perfect fit for me. I met the family and I started working one week shy of the first year of Shawn's death. Once again, this was great for me. It was something that got me out of the house. It was a job where I had to "report" to someone other than myself, but I still had the freedom of not working every day that I have to say I had gotten very used to. Well, I worked for this family for one year. Then this fall both the kids started school, one in kindergarten and the other in preschool, so the family no longer needed to me to watch the kids. I totally thought it would not be a big deal and about a month before I left the family I started watching the employment adds, filling out and sending out job applications.

I sent out applications in the area of my degree which is Child Development. I sent out applications for several childcare centers in my town, I sent applications to a few different receptionists jobs, something I have no experience in but thought would be kinda fun. Mostly, though I have stuck with what I know and have sent my resume to several childcare centers here in town, and a few different preschools that were looking for preschool teachers. Totally thinking I would for sure have a job within a few weeks. I sent out so many applications at first I actually had the gull to think I would have to turn down a few offers.

Boy was I W-R-O-N-G!

That was in August and I STILL have not found a job!! I have never, ever in my entire life, not even when I was a teenager did I have this hard of a time finding a job! It's so totally one hundred percent frustrating! Just yesterday I looked at my "job folder" on my computer's desktop, since August I have sent in over 12 applications for jobs and have went on four different interviews and NOTHING! Oh wait....correction nothing is not what I have been told. The four interviews I have been on I have been on where either for preschool teaching jobs, or lead teaching jobs at a childcare center each of these told me, and I quote, "We love you and you are so great with the children, BUT you are too overqualified for this job. We can only offer you minimal pay and feel you would leave after a short amount of time, so we have decided to go with a candidate that has less experience than you do. Sorry and good luck in the future." End quote!

Yes, you read that right, I have been turned down by four different possible employers because I have a college degree in Child Development and am to overqualified to work in a childcare or preschool setting. You want to know the kicker of this whole thing?? I'm going to tell you because I just know you do. In the part of the interview where they ask you what you were making in past jobs I have honestly told them $9, and $10 an hour. When they ask me what I would like to make at this job my answer has been a very minimal $9 an hour. Once again, you read that right, I'm only asking to make a measly, minimal, barely pay your bills, put gas in your car, and buy food, $1,440 a month, $17, 280.00 a year job and that's IF I were to work every week at 40 hours and BEFORE taxes!! Which, is not even possible with holidays and what not! So yeah, I have been turned down from several jobs because I'm asking for $9.00 an hour. How dare I right??!!

The jobs two jobs that i have been offered where awful, no wait horrible hours ever and paid crap! I'm talking working from 6:15 am-9:00am, having a break all day then going back and working 3:00pm-6:30pm and that was for $8 an hour. The other job was a part time job at a center working 15 maybe 20 hours a week and making a little over $7.50. I don't know if I'm being too picky or not but I don't even really think those two jobs were worth my time.

I've been an assistant director at a childcare center, I get the fact that unless things MAJORLY change a person is NEVER going to make ANY money in the field of Early Chidcare and honestly I didn't get into the field to make it big, or to hit the jack pot. I got into the field because I love working with children. I love watching them grow and change. I also got into this degree when I didn't think I would have to support myself. Things change and now I have to support myself and I'm appalled at the fact that I busted my ass in college, got a pretty much worthless degree, have college debt from that degree and am being turned down for jobs because I am too overqualified and have too much experience! Okay, I could go on about the field of Early Childcare and the people in that field for ever...I will save that for another post!

The last few weeks I have changed my job hunting outlook and strategy. If I'm turning my resume in for things I'm qualified to do, but am getting turned down because I'm too qualified I figure why not start turning my resume and applications in for something I have NO experience in. So within the last week I have turned in an application for a bank teller (I can hardly balance my own check book, let alone handling the money of other people, but what the hell right??), and I have also sent my application in for a receptionist at a doctor's office. Think I have heard anything from either of them. You guessed it right again, that would be another big fat NO!

I'm so 100% frustrated with job hunting I could about scream! Ry keeps telling me that the right job will come along and that I'm having problems finding a job because it's just not meant to be and not the right job for me. While I agree with him (no job I have applied for has been my dream job) it is still irritating. Ry keeps telling me to be patient, keep looking and applying and the right job will pop up when it's meant to be and that everything always has a weird way of working out. Once again, I know they will, but gosh, all mighty this is getting old!!

I would not even mind getting out of the field of Early Childhood. I love it, but taking care of kids is all I have ever done and I just can't support myself in the field anymore. The only problem is I have no experience in anything else. I have thought about going back to school, but then again I don't think that is the best idea either since I already have college debt I haven't even began to pay off because I can't afford to.

If any of you have a brilliant idea or suggestion I 'm open to all of them. If not I think I might just take this sign with me on my next interview and see what happens.