you take my mind somewhere far

So, it's been two hours since I last checked the time. Sarah. Jasmine and I are sitting in A-Saloon in Sunway Pyramid doing our hair. haha...

Sarah's complained about sitting for this long and I'm about to do the same even though I've gotten up for two rinses at the sink.

Thinking back on the year gone by...I can't help but reminisce about this past semester. Of course there were the usual ups and downs, but one thought comes to mind, and it's: I LOVE IT! There would've been no better way to end my undergrad degree.

I got all my results back as of this morning(afternoon), and hahah....to say the least, I'm ecstatic. That description in itself is probably an understatement.

At Summer Project in Phillip Island this year, leading a girl to Christ and watching her make that decision to live a life for Him....man, words can't describe how blessed I feel with this past semester!! Leaving Summer Project early was tough. Really tough. There was just something about it this year, something different with the team... something so hard to leave behind...and I love reminscing on those days...at the same time though, they make me depressed...and make me wonder why can't Summer Project be every day life. Just walking out into the streets, with peers who have the same goal in mind: win souls for Jesus' kingdom; and actually fulfilling that goal - so rewarding...such an amazing way of life! I want that, I want that every day. Taking breaks, resting, sleeping in, watching TV and shopping...yes, that's all good... but it doesn't give me the same satisfaction as sharing the Gospel with the lost.


That said, I wouldn't trade anything I've experienced in my life for anything in the world.


The hair technician says she'll be back in about 10 minutes to rinse off the excess colour in my hair. fingers crossed* the colour turns out alright!

for the first time and the last time

What would it take to keep us alive?

What would it take for us to survive?

What would it take to hold onto you?

What would it take for time to stand still?

What does anyone know about love?

What does anyone know about promises?

What does anyone know for sure?

What does anyone know that doesn't kill?

one of the random poems I wrote a while back...which I didn't finish..or even start properly.. it's just weird..but there you have it.

"Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame, or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away." - Dear John

"Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up..just stay this little. Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up..it could stay this simple." - Never Grow Up

"You gave me roses, and I left them there to die." - Back to December

"They'll judge it like they know about me and you, and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do. The jury's out, but my choice is you." - Ours.

Taylor Swift's new album rocks my world like stars rock the night sky.

your words, like scissors in my hand

why do people have to change?

why do we all have to change?

why do we all have to grow up?

forever can never be long enough for me

Finally uploaded all my photos from my camera.




Cake display at the Royal Melbourne Show (Yes, these are from September lol)

Half the photos I took on the day were all from the cake display. As you can see, the cakes were really intriguing! These are just a few, when I can be bothered, I'll post up all the others on Facebook.

************







What is LOVE?

When people say it, show it or act it. What of it all, is love?

How unconditional can people get?

Better yet, how many people say "I Love You" and actually know what it consists of?

1 Corinthians 13 is enough to explain it...or is it?

What is love?

Does it make you want to throw your heart in its direction, forgetting all the cares of this world?


Does it make you forget all about your responsibilities and duties to this earth and its Creator?

Does it make you wanna take chances and become brave enough to say "come what may"?

Does it make you feel like for once in this life, you'll experience something beautiful?

Does it make you dream and fantasize about all its possibilities?

Does it make you lose your head and do stupid things?

Does it make you out of breath with butterflies?

Does it ever last?

It should.

So what is the Love that so many people talk about but can't keep?

What is the Agape love that God talks about?

Firstly, it isn't just a feeling. It's supposed to last through thick or thin, highs and lows.

It's not something that comes without the usual uncertainties of this world, but it promises to stay true, feelings or no feelings.

It sees beauty in the light of darkness.

It accepts...?

It's forever...

Or is it?

p/s: Bruno Mars' song is NOT love.

every word feels like a shooting star

A cake I baked a while back: cookies and cream brownie with vanilla frosting and chocolate icing messily covering the top.

****


This morning: I went to 2.5 hours of gym classes.


I am dead now. Like...exhausted and aching all over. =(

Tomorrow, I'll be asking myself: Why in the world did I do that? or What was I thinking?

I feel good though. It was good workout...I'm just in so much pain. Even sneezing hurts me! sighh..

****


I'm in a mood, I don't know what it is, and I don't know if it's because of my lack of chocolate, but I don't like being in this mood. I start thinking stupid things...and I don't want to do that.


****


Ooohh and my birthday was great (besides hanging out with Optus for nearly 10 hours of my day).
Taboo party was fun hehehe... and the presents I received were great! So to everyone, family and friends, Thank You for being a part of it!



****


One week of my mid-sem break is gone now. sighface....i still have three assignments to do. and i'm in a mood!! #%$#1!#2#D$T%$TrcefeD#3iuhd36!!!



****


Anndd.... STUPID OPTUS! I'm meant to have my iphone by nowww..... grarrrhhh!

your memories, they're no good to me

Okay...I've decided




to go on a..










CHOCOLATE FAST!







For the next two weeks.



I promise, I will not have any chocolate at all for the next two weeks. AND go to the gym at least 2 times a week. Hopefully that will help me lose something like 2-3kgs. o.O





I'M SO FAT! gahgahdfauiie7ry82hfjbcteyu33u9a8duifhbqjet46gfta!!






I can't believe I let myself come to this point... :( It's so disgusting..... >=[
Audrey Tan, what were you thinking eating all those junk and skipping out on gym!!!!!!!!



If I survive my two week chocolate fast without killing/injuring someone in that process...I shall keep this fast on for as long as I can. Minimal ice cream, and NO CHOCOLATE! I shall bake myself a cheese cake. hahahha






OOOhhhh....and and and, Jasmine and Vanessa baked me a cake today! It's sooooo PREEEETTTYYYYY!!!! So I went over to the Teh's house for cake.. and dinner... and Camp Rock 2.. and a really sucky game of poker... lol...but it was fun nonetheless (:



Had early birthday brunch with the family earlier today too...so it's been a rather eventful Saturday... more photos will be up on Facebook. (:




Chocolate Ripples Cake
(I knowww....weird angle for a cake..but it's the best one I took...ie: non-shook.sighh..)







THANK YOU LOVELIES! S2 S2 S2





P/S: Chocolate helps me when I'm feeling emo-ish...soo.....be prepared. And don't say I didn't warn you about things getting ugly because I wouldn't be in a good mood... (:

we cut ties, we tell lies, we hate change

So i'm turning 20 next week, but my mum's not gonna be around. Hmms.



I googled what people do when their parents aren't home. And some pretty stupid things came up. One guy even video-ed him and his friends doing the stupidest things ever..and described it as "the most outrageous and rebellious things we ever did" =.=" they were pretty lame, to say the least.



So here are a few things from google:

1) backyard boxing match - with head protection and gloves.
2) run naked/dance naked around the house
3) as you can see, i found very few stuff...sad face.


if you can think of other stuff I can do to be as rebellious as possible(haha)...tell me (:

happy to lay here just happy to be here

So... I got asked the classic:

"What do you want for your birthday?"


Me: "Dosh/Cash/Money/Green Notes"



Hahha...


Why?



I need it? Or will need it? If you can think of something else that I might need/don't have..and will find useful..then okay. But if you're gonna ask me what I want.. $$ is it.



That doesn't mean that I won't appreciate any other forms of gifts... (:


It's just that, I'll be broke after I go on this massive holiday at the end of this year.. and next year, I'm looking at being too busy for a job...so...where am I gonna get money from??? Hopefully Centrelink will like me... if not.. present money will do (:





P/S: I accept gifts in the form of services too - you can help me decorate my room, do my assignments and do my job (:


P/P/S: Or you can give me no present at all so I won't have to remember turning 20.. a.k.a. please, no one make a big fuss of this birthday. I just want it to come..then pass away as quickly as it came.

paperweight on my back cover me

Given the opportunity, I'd take off on a road trip.
And I'd take snapshots of random little things all day.


I'd keep a piece of all the things people take for granted or often go unnoticed.



Then I'd come home, upload them onto my computer, and look at them over and over again....just to pass the time.



That's the life. (:


And it has nothing to do with ticking off a list of to-do's (because i'm taking photos at random) or coming up with a better solution than time efficiency to maximise a day's work.





That aside, I finally managed to upload photos from my 300D onto a computer. So here are some of my favourite shots (all unedited):


My mum and niece... at mid-smile.
Breakfast at Phillip Island. Grace and I woke up to make it (: it was fun... and even though I don't fancy those mushrooms, this shot makes me think: ooo YUUMMM!! every single time I look at it!

One of the very very...very few shots of sunset that looks amazing.. naked (unedited).

And that is all.

even the wrong words seem to rhyme

people always leave.




even if they promised they wouldn't.





****EDIT: 6 hours later****

So, I just watched "The Back-Up Plan" with mum, and what a coincidence that there's a line in the show where the grandma tells JLo "Stop pushing people away, you need to learn to trust again." And another part of the movie, JLo's love interest says "Believe me when I say I'm not leaving!"



What a joke. They're not in real life.

all that I can hear every time you lie

*bang head against wall repeatedly* - until you start bleeding



*open door and then slam it really hard it feels like the house is about to break down* - do this repeatedly



*get in a car turn up the music real loud and just drive (within the speed limit)* - do this for however long you want




*hold a pillow to your face and just scream until your voice is 2 octaves lower than Justin Bieber's* - you probably won't have the energy to do this repeatedly




*pull out a cork board and hold a sharp pin/knife in your hand then stab it several times* - or until all the cork is out of the board




*rage quit and disappear*




*stay up late at night, by yourself and just emo* - until you're too tired you fall asleep anyway




*talk about it* - but not with people who haven't learned the meaning of discretion or confidentiality





- > ways to release rage because there are some seriously stupid people who are still alive in this world



GOD, PLEASE GIVE ME GRACE!


and strength.....lots of it. Thanks.



p/s: don't cry because it's no use over spilled milk.

things that keep us apart keep me alive

Look at us now.


How we let Time rob us. How we let Time change us.



Look at us then.



How our ignorance was really our source of bliss.



Look at us.



Pretty sure I ruined things. I'm the one who pushed you away. I'm too defensive. Never allowing anyone get too close.



So I'm sorry.



I cared too much about you and then felt the need to push you away. Afraid I was gonna get hurt first.




But look at us now.



I never learn. I'm still pushing the people I love away...hurting myself in the process.
What in the world is wrong with me!? I don't even know how not to do that.
How can I be too scared to do what's supposed to be most natural for me??

stronger than you'll ever know

hahhaha... something like 5 hours sleep after a pretty depressing day which didn't end so depressingly after all seems to have carried on to a pretty interestingly, beautiful morning.


I'm smiling. XD



So, right after my last blog...I went to DFO South Wharf. And regretted going in there as I was walking out.



I walked into ALDO T_T....and I'M GUILTY!!!!>.<...



Bought a pair of boots which were discounted already...and then had a further $10 off because it's the last pair. From Aldo. I'm guilty okay! Stop looking at me that way.... but I paid $70 for it. Black, simple, nice synthetic material which isn't floppy..and low heeled. In short, it was WATERPROOF! Which, really...if you think about it, was really my main aim of shopping for shoes anyway right? But I was so guilty I didnt dare change into it..and just stayed in my drenched Billies for the rest of the night...with my feet numb.


And thennn... I bought a bag...ok this.. I REALLY AM GUILTY! But it was 50% off... it was pretty...and it was 50% off from Aldo!

Still doesn't make sense to me to be spending to save...but you know...I'M GUILTY! Ok, like REALLY...I'm so guilty because I was meant to shop for Josh's present..and I was PLANNING on spending $5 on a crappy waterproof pair of shoes that's supposed to last me a week.



Anyway, I had fun at dinner with Cherly and Mien... and Step Up 3D was so worth watching again.. hahah..So, seriously..go watch it if you appreciate creativity and art...or just the REAL effects of 3D!


Got home, and Cherly, Mien and I continued our "night" on MSN haha...and I ended up going to bed at 2am. Which explains the 5 hour sleep cos I had to wake up at 7am for work today...worth it though ahha



I'm glad to have friends who'd surprisingly brighten up my day without intending to anyway.



Gab's video on Facebook..in which he tagged me in for a song called "I Don't Care" by Jesse Barrera and Melissa Polinar. Gab's plug on the song was to cheer up my day. It did. And I'm listening to it on repeat.. and my favourite line so far goes like this: "When I'm stuck on the ground you take my mind somewhere far from here..."

Also, been sms-ing Hannah all morning. And she makes me LOL. Too much. I don't smile.. I just LOL whenever I talk to her...


So to all you Gifts from Heaven out there who read this, thanks for loving me. I love you too.

open up and be your parachute

Ok, here's my rant FOR THE MONTH!


I'm at uni, with frozen numb feet.

It's pouring outside..>.<..depressingly...

And I've decided to go buy myself new shoes (right after this blog)



This time last week, technically Tuesday last week, it was raining like today, and by the time I got home...my white-ish Billies were soaked, with mud gathering at the tip.


I bought myself these white-ish Billies, convincing myself I can wash them if they get dirty! But I didn't think I'd have to do them twice in one week! =.="

So why did I wear my white shoes out on a day like this, I hear you ask?

Well....I wanted to do some shopping since I finish uni early today, so I decided against wearing any of my waterproof boots because they've all got heels and I didn't feel like heeled boots today. So, I decided to stick with my comfy, cute Billies.


BUT NOW THEY'RE SOAKED WITH MUD GATEHRING AT THE TIP AGAIN!

How crap is this weather!??!!? I'm soooo depressed!

1) Because it was only a week ago that I washed my Billies and made them white again
2) Because I can't feel my feet (I know from experience, that they should be feeling wet and cold)
3) This weather makes me depressed!
4) Next week is week 4 = quarter of my last semester GONE! T.T


On the upside, I'm gonna go shopping now..for a pair of low-heeled waterproof shoes/boots/footwear.

And tonight, dinner with Cherly and Mien and then Step Up 3 in 3D..AGAIN! hehhee...

So, I hope my rant brought you some kind of sunshine on this super depressing day.

how could the silence be so loud

So I've been driving around a bit.



And I like it.



I'm trying to find every opportunity possible to drive. It's fun.



The most fun I've had driving...and I like driving alone..or with Jasmine..and then getting lost and figuring my way out etcetc... I like non-stressful driving. hehhe..but that's a bit biased since I haven't driven a lot of people besides my family, Mien and Jasmine.


Still...I like driving. And listening to my choice of music. Mine.. hee XD


Week 3 uni... OH MY GOODNESS!!! So quick! T.T


Time, I hate how you pass so fast. You scare me. Therefore, I hate you.



Oohh..watched Step Up 3-D yesterday with Jasmine...SO EPIC! Worth watching twice, in 3D in the cinemas!

those times when love's what you hate

So my final semester in uni as an undergraduate has started...



It started like a low and dull pendulum...slowly swinging to a standstill.


And then somewhere about lunch on Tuesday, things started to pick up...

First, it was lunch with Student Life - those guys never fail to put a smile on my face ( as cheesy as that sounds, I don't care cos it's true)


Secondly, went to my lecture after lunch and my lecturer was nice and understanding about the lecture being "after lunch", people were bound to doze off so she prepared snakes to be passed around the room. Awesome idea!


Lastly, met with Hannah at a lecture for a subject we're doing together...then went to our tute together..and found out for this subject, the tutes are only on every second week! Which means I finish at 2pm on alternate Wednesdays! Awesome subject FTW!!!


=D =D =D =D



And my uni-week ended with a bang (=



So now I'm happy. Even though I'm already fairly behind with my course work... and I'm in massive debts of sleep... and my nose is killing my throat which is killing me which i'm hoping will go away soon while I stack on vitamins into my immune system.



Okay, maybe not that happy after all.



I told myself: "Study! Tonight! Listen through lectures, again! No Facebook! No Bejeweled! No distractions! Just plain uni-reading!"


But it's 9.28pm, I wasn't distracted by all those things (besides blogging, which Jasmine peer-pressured me into doing ;P ) but I really just wanna go to sleep. sighface*

but it's haunted without you

*Grace's perfect heart-drawing in Phillip Island*

Hmm.. we live in a funny world.

Don't try hard enough, you won't get it.

Try too hard, you still won't get it.

So daddy was down for two weeks, and though my entire first week was occupied by Kids' Camp and Ladies' Conference, I'm glad I had an entire week to spend with him. I could never imagine my winter break a better way.

So, who knew Semester 2 could creep up on us so soon, right? I have ONE more week of holidays left. I look at Nydia's hard drive, filled with OTH seasons, and wonder when I'll finish it. Then I see the Grey's Anatomy DVDs Emma lent me, and yeah, I wonder when will be the next time that Emma will even get a sight of it. I look at my overflowing shelf of books and wonder, when oh, when will I have time to appreciate them?

When we were young, we worked hard to make time pass sooner so we could go play the next game or go watch the next movie. And when we're older, much older, we work hard to make time slow down. Life, that was once beautiful because of its simplicity, is filled with task after task, and lists of things to-do. How could time pass so fast?

I watched Toy Story 3 (finally) two nights ago...and it was good.

I spent the whole of yesterday bringing Mien and Abraham around the city yesterday...and it was good.

I'm gonna try baking some new recipe brownies tonight, hopefully they'll be good.

And yet, in every other area of my life, I'm always wondering, when will I ever make it to "good enough"?

I have three days uni next semester =( and I'm not exactly sure how I'm gonna manage 2.5 days of work and 3 days of classes for my final semester at uni as an undergraduate student. The upside to it though, I get classes on Tuesdays, for the first time in two years, which can only mean one thing: I finally get to spend more time with my Student Life peeps cos they hang out on Tuesdays, and I get to go to the Student Life women's Bible study group Tuesday nights. Great! I'm psyched.

but this feels like the first time

When lies of this world don't fade away
When a heart breaks and you can't hear it
When a life is lost and you don't notice its value
When time heals all wounds and tears people apart
When the leaves you step on dissolve into the ground
When you stand in line and there's no one standing with you
When the sounds of the city teaches us to let go of what's dear
I fall into His arms and know He's always there.



For some reason, it seems to be a trend.. June and July are always the coldest months of my year.







Four weeks out of seven of my mid-year break is gone. So quickly, just like that. And what can I say for those 4 weeks? Kids camp.


Where did all that time go? Only 3 more weeks to leisure read as much as I want, and watch as much Tv as I want... :( :( :(



Went Go-Karting with a couple of 101 and Year 12s todayy...it was fun to say the least. Funny seeing people get up from the kart vehicles with their pants drenched...hehehe...not funny when mud spluttered into my eyes though...Good bonding fun nonetheless (:


p/s: Melb Uni has this randomly new and noob results releasing system...so I still don't have all my results yet, but for the ones that I did get, I'm not happy. It's either teachers don't like me, I'm never gonna be a good enough student or I set too high standards for myself. sigh.

got my holster around my side

Ok, sooo... exams are over, and I'm leaving for Phillip Island soon!

For two nights. hehe...

HOOOOLLEEEEDDDAAAAAYYYY here I come!

Hi Jasmine! (at this moment, you're actually sitting next to me..haha)

;)

All the best for everyone else who still has exams or have a reason to studdyy!!!

Ciao!

go by like stones under rushing water

Sarah Goh, you study psychology...what does my left frontal lobe do again??



It is 3 a.m. as I blog this. I haven't been awake since 7.30 YESTERDAY morning. No, I haven't. Because I napped from 11-12.40am.




However, I'm finishing off on a creative writing assignment. After being STUCK for a whole month. Somehow late nights and V has...helped me? I think? Oh yeah, and discussing with Mien about it last night...pretty sure that helped too.





Anyways, I'm pretty sure my left frontal lobe is about to spurt out blood from the pores of my forehead skin any minute nowww....

come out of nowhere and into my life

if I bought my 6-pack V this week instead of last week....




I would've saved.....






T.T""....







$3

chances you were burning through

So this is me.

Thursday:
9am: I can do this. I'll finish this essay today. Piece of cake.
1pm: got essay plan down...time to start writing.
3pm: I'll take a nap. (Fell asleep at Uni, on a Frank Tate couch)
4pm: I should go home now, and work on the essay tonight after dinner.
8pm: gah sleepy...but must do essay!
10pm: Drink V.
10.30pm: I'll take a nap.
11.30pm: ESSAY!
3.30am: ok, time to sleep..but essay not finished. Continue Saturday!
4am: Damn you, V.... =.="


Saturday:
9am: Yes! I can do this. I can finish this Essay today!
11am: Hmm...*thinking about Glee characters* (decided to research Glee actors instead)
12pm: Hmm..I wonder what happened in the Gaga episode this week.
2pm: OKAY! GOTTA DO THIS ASSIGNMENT! Drink V.
3pm: "Nick! Stop showing me Youtube Videos!I'm supposed to be studying!"
4pm: Nick: "Ok, go study before I send you more videos to watch!"
4.30pm: Time to go pick Mien up.
5pm: Mien at my house. Game over.
1am: Crap, I barely did anything on my essay today...
2am: Fail falling asleep, so had a chat with Mien
3am: Damn you, V.


Sunday:
2.30pm: (In Westfield with Jasmine) Ok, I can do this! I'll finish this todayy!! Drink V.
4.30pm: Almost finished one whole point.
8.30pm: Stupid Masterchef... -.- Time to do my essay!
10pm: I'll nap for half an hour.
12am: OH CRAP! I SLEPT FOR TWO HOURSSSS!!! shouldn't have slept at 3am last night! =(
2am: Ok...finished that ONE point...continue tomorrow.
...: Damn you, V.


Monday:
10am: I'm tired...after being awake since 7.30am because I had a 90 minute driving lesson this morning. Nap.
11am: Ok, I can do this. Two more points, 1 hour for each point. I'll finish this by 2pm!
2pm: Hmm... this is taking longer than I thought. Ok, finish by 4pm!
4pm: tireedd...nap half hour.
4.30pm: I'll finish by 5pm! COMEON! I CAN DO THIS!
5pm: Ok...maybe 6pm. I will.. by 6pm.
6.10pm: FINISHED! finally-.-


Tomorrow: Assignment no.2

Tonight: Read Madame Bovary


P/S: if you're wondering why I'm napping so much, apparently there's a connection with stress and sleepiness/tiredness... which sucks so badly cos sleeping takes up so much of my time! Therefore, I have stacked on V supply in my room! =D

P/P/S: Can't believe it's the end of the month already! Almost half a year has gone by o.0!!

you'll wear white and i'll wear out the words

This post is for Jasmine Teh.... who was devastated when she heard I was gonna cut off my curls. hehehe...




Before:




















After:





















I know. Big difference. I like it.



Today, Mien and I went down to Glen for a haircut.


The haircut was free because it was a trainee getting practice by cutting my hair, but he had a supervisor helping him out. And she was goooodd... He was good too, he took good care of my hair and taught me how to take care of my hair too. Mien's trainee was another girl. She's really funny and more experienced than my trainee, but still needed a supervisor.


Anyway, we are both really happy with our new-do. (:



Did I mention my trainee used a $800 scissors on me?? o_O



P/S: Jasmine, don't be so devastated... My hair will grow back..and maybe one day I'll curl it again ;P

fall too soon under this beautiful moonlight

gahhhh so annoyinnggg....!!




This morning, at 11am I was on Page TWO! TEE-DOUBLEYOU-OHH!!!


Now, at 6.30pm, I am on page SEVEN! ESS-EE-VEE-EEE-ANNN!!




What kind of READING is this?!!?!


rawriuwerhtiwruhfnwroifwrnfjkwrgufwrawr.....

I've only got 2 pages worth of notes... =.="" ihatemylife.




I thought sitting at the dining table to read would be a whole lot better than sitting in my own bed. But looks like I actually need to remove myself from my home and not be distracted by family, family guests, family meals, family convos. =.="""

Started getting sidetracked this morning when mum and Nicole rushed out and I had to hang out the laundry. Okay, that was pretty quick. Then... family guest came after lunch...stayed in my living room (next to me) CHATTING -.-" So I went upstairs....and fell asleep waiting for them to leave. After they left... sigh...

Nevermind. I'm done ranting.


Sometimes, I really wished I didn't need sleep.
It takes up too much time in my day/night when I could be using those hours studying!

opened my eyes and made me believe

So, in the past month, I've started buying books again.

YAY!

I can't explain the joy of paying for a new book and then placing it carefully in my bag.

Then getting home and pulling out contact paper to protect the covers.


I love it!

The four books on the right of the picture are crime thrillers bought for less than $5 each!!
Because of Border's sale thing. Get 3 for the price of 2, and these books were already being sold at $6.99. Baby bought 2, and I got 4. So it worked out.
Hehe... it was good time spent book-shopping with my Baby.

Then the two on the left, I bought it just last week.
I feel so academic now.
I bought Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby" and I can already feel my intelligence rising.
hehe..

The other one, "Madame Bovary" by Gustave Flaubert, I had to get for an assignment.
And it was great 'cause only on last Wednesday, Borders had a special sale. buy 1 book, get 25% off, buy 2 books, get 30% off and buy 3 books or more, get 40% off!
But I had to control my spending, so I bought two.


I am a happy person.



It doesn't matter if I don't exactly have time to leisure-read.
It matters that my book shelf is practically overflowing! S2

doesn't matter if i even go

Ugh. Life Sucks.


Grace and I are gonna plan a

"I FREAKING HATE MY LIFE" party.



Who wants to come? (:



I foresee a very depressing four weeks ahead...>.<..

i know some say this day's arbitrary

So, I feel like I should really tell you about my awesome awesome awesome week!

I don't think I've had such a good week in such a long time. Trust me, this is worth reading. ;)

Started last Saturday at Grace's 18th birthday celebration with..

..one cheeky nephew who loves all the attention he can get.

Then a pretty comedic, yet way too violent and gory a movie: Kick-Ass.

Followed by our FIRST ever sleepover! Grace and I kept ourselves all warm and cozy in her bed, ready to sleep.. until 12am when some of Grace's friends came to surprise her on her doorstep with presents! So sweet of them! Man, they got Grace good too! She was like shocked surprise. haha.. so glad I was there to watch it all.
But that also meant we didn't go to bed until about 3am. T.T So worth it though (:



Spent the entire Sunday (Grace's actual birthday) with my Baby. S2



Monday was a pretty sluggish day for me. I watched 3 movies throughout the day(I'm guilty).

Started with "The Box" made in year 2007 - it was okay, a lot of twists...I liked it.
Then I watched "Over Her Dead Body" - freaking hilarious! Couldn't stop laughing. (:
I ended the day with "Tooth Fairy" - LOVED IT! Again, I couldn't stop laughing. Loved everything about it!



Then TUESDAY! Didn't go to work due to the Anzac Public Holiday weekend, Tuesday's the church's off-day. FINALLY! My first actual weekend of the YEAR! Man..I realllyyy loved Tuesday. Woke up late, took my time, ran some errands and did a bit of shopping. (:

Then spent the night baking for my Baby.

And decorating it.

Wednesday. Was interesting (: dropped off the cupcakes at Baby's while she was out hehe and she lovveeddd the cupcakes. YAY!



Then Thursday. Did some more shopping, this time with my one and only, Baby!
Good times!! ;)


Then we had our third hot date with:


One hot guy with a guitar.
Two tickets to a concert. The best company. S2
Some photography..
... and one friend with a rumoured so-called "hash brownie" -.- (see how stoned he is? =p) One prettyy...crazy Jap wannabe band...like seriously. One amazing lead singer from the States!

One amazing ensemble band with Alvin Kong as one of the vocalist and a very very packed stage.
The night was amazzinggg...save for the bad sound system and occassional cringe-worthy bands. haha..
Great memories though (:

Ooo...another thing about Thursday, I got back my first assignment of the semester, handed in before Fungus/101 camp, and I got an amazing result! ahhaha... so awesome..! After getting back my assignment, I really needed to pee, and this was at the end of class. So I rushed to the toilet, looked at my result and then started happy-dancing in the toilet cubicle. =P Call me crazy and I'll agree. But I know I got that amazing result because God's got my back (: I know He was helping me through it all or I wouldn't have been able to do it! yayayyayayyayayy!!!!

Friday = BEST DAY OF THE WEEK!
But I can't tell you why. HAhaha.... ;) I can only say, I had one reeeeeaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyy grrrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaattttttt MORNING! =D =D XD XD XD !!



Saturday, went gymming, then rushed to buy a few things before heading home for lunch.
After lunch, went down to Nunawading for the Student Life BBQ and CrazyBoardgames arvo. =D It was FUN to say the least! It was supposed to be all arvo, but I only went about 4pm, and that was still fun. Great company, great people, great afternoon. (:

Followed by.... a "dinner party" thing at Bryan's house for the worship team of Fungus/101.
That was also, lots of fun. Man, why don't we do this kind of thing more often??

Anyway... it was one crazy long dayy...and Mien came to sleepover again..haha...and I slept at 3am again. T.T terrible sleeping habitsss!! I knoww..


But.



To end this one amazzzinnnggg week: went shopping today after church with Mien at Knox.

And I got myself this jacket.

Can you imagine how ecstatic I am right now?
despite the hole in my bank account T.T

I could wear this to sleep.
Been hunting for one in forever, and this is so warm and comfortable!
I am in love.

(:

Ok, so I know it sounds like I've been doing a lotta shopping. And yes I have, but have I been spending a lot everytime I go shopping? No. (: I have self-control XD

And.. it has been a good restful two-weeks. Time to start on alll my final assignments now!!!>.<.. No more slacking and no more shopping and probably no more updates for awhilee.... but you will know if I'm still alive or not. Trust me.

why we don't know when time and time again

so apparently there's a problem with me bagging people.


I laugh.




but no one ever sees a problem in older people bagging me in front of younger people and then younger people bagging me after learning from those older people. and whether immediate or delayed, no one would ever stop and say "you've gone a bit too far" or "that's inappropriate" or "that's enough."


the so-called word: "disrespect" is casually thrown around a little bit. but I laugh of course.





It's always "you're fun to bagg and it's really funny" or "there there...it's ok"


I laugh of course.





I wonder what was my point of blogging 2 posts ago, can't think of any at this moment. I laugh.




if you're even thinking about my feelings right now i'll literally laugh until my entire head rolls all the way around the world and come back. so don't bother. you're only going to make things worse.

covered up, i'm still watching people stare

So today in the office, Shaun started it, then Jon and I joined in for some personality defining sessions. Here's what I got. Have a laugh.

Portrait of an ESTJ - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging
(Extraverted Thinking with Introverted Sensing)

[here are parts where I think you'll find it funny and think "SO TRUE"]

ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards.

ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work. The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented(for my personal editor, Hannah Ooi who'll be nodding non-stop!). Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions.

ESTJs are very enthusiastic people who are driven to fulfill their obligations and duties, especially those towards their families. Their priorities generally put God first, family second, and friends third. They put forth a tremendous amount of effort to meet their obligations and duties, according to their priorities. They are dedicated and committed to their relationships, which they consider to be lifelong and unalterable. They like to be in charge, and may be very controlling of their mates and children. They have high esteem for traditions and institutions, and expect that their mates and children will support these as well. They have little patience and need for dealing with people who see things very differently from the ESTJ.


Weaknesses(i don't think all of these are weaknesses)

• Tendency to believe that they are always right
• Tendency to need to always be in charge
  
• Impatient with inefficiency and sloppiness
  
• Not naturally in tune with what others are feeling
  
• Not naturally good at expressing their feelings and emotions
  
• May inadvertently hurt others with insensitive language
  
• Tendency to be materialistic and status-conscious(not true)
• Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories

As lovers (for Quentin to have a good laugh):
ESTJs usually feel very strongly that they are right and that if everyone else would listen carefully to what the ESTJ has to say, then they would understand the way things really are, and the world would be a better place. They are highly energetic people, who never seem to lose their energy when performing duties and fulfilling obligations.

Sexually, the ESTJ is likely to be robust, enthusiastic, and athletic. They will tend to be traditional, and to expect sexual encounters on a relatively scheduled basis. They're likely to approach intimacy as a physical experience of closeness, rather than as an opportunity to express and receive expressions of love and affection.


Also, apparently, I'm the kind who can move on quite smoothly after a broken relationship!! hahaha.... Jon and Shaun thinks it's no surprise XP

fell in love when I saw you standing there

Ok, so a quick update..and maybe some laughter for you as I tell you about my Sunday.



Today, I was teaching in Sunday School about how God's word is like a big love letter to us.


To fit in some personal introduction... I brought my treasure box of love letters collected over the years. These aren't love letters from boys by the way... I usually burn those haha... jk. These are letters collected from friends who encourage me or even update me about their lives (yes, I'm old enough to have lived using the old form of "writing" via pen and paper). Letters just in general...and then the ones collected from the camps I've been attending - all mean so much to me. At the start of the year, when I was packing and arranging them away, I read all of them and they made me feel nostalgic. haha...some of the best moments of my life were captured in those letters.


Anyway, I brought these letters to Sunday School to show the kids, and I opened the box - which was already overflowing - and a boy called Vincent (who is also a leader in training) asked:
"Did you write them to yourself?"
Me: " ..-.-"".. NO!"
Everyone in class(especially Nick and Shaun) laughed hysterically.



Ok..so when everyone had settled down and stopped laughing, I went on with my story...and shared about a boy who gave me a letter when I was 12.
Me: "When I was about 12 years old, in Year 6, there was a boy who liked me..."
Preston: "What?"
Me: "It's not that surprising, guys! People do like me! =_+"" "
Everyone in class... ROFL..


Sigh... ihateboys.. -.- such pains. pfft


So there you have it. L-O-L if you want... go ahead. I'm used to it.

it's a good excuse that I love to use

So...hi there!


I will blog extensively about camp another day... 'cause I know how bored you are and how much you love reading. ;)


Here's a quick recap of highlights in the last month..and movie reviews.


I love my Baby to death... as you all already know. And I love it that she's going to Melbourne Uni so that we can have hot dates in-between and after class! hehe...

First hottest date everrr at MC.... we were meant to watch Dear John..but ended up watching Remember Me.

I'd probably give the movie a 6 out of 10.

It was a good message - live in the moment...etc etc...but a little bit draggy... and Rob Pattinson's character has a hot name - Tyler. haha... Both Grace and I didn't like how the story used sex as the problem solver...everytime they're upset or they're faced with problems, they get into very heated and intense kissing...then we all kinda know what happens next..even if the producers didn't put it into the movie. But still... besides that... it was good.. I enjoyed it... no brainwork needed to watch this.. hehe... and my Baby cried...but I didn't! =D WINN! (:




Second hottest date everrr...was even better! We went after I'd finish ALLLL my mid-sem assignments! yay!! And it was awesome time spent with a gorgeous person...the movie was a good de-stress method too. We went down to Crowns this time...hehe and walked under the moonlight and the little light things in the trees outside crown. (:

I'd probably give this 5 out of 10.

Just average. Storyline was good. Characters were ok. Really hate Miley's acting.... and her mouth. SO DISTRACTING! It was like the only thing I watched the entire movie. And I know it's a sad movie and everyone cried...the entire cinema was sniffling..or sobbing..hahaha..and everyone took out their tissues and all. But seriously... whenever Miley comes on screen... I stop being sad and start being distracted. But when her brother in the movie comes up... oemgeee..that boy can act! He makes me cry. hahah..oh and there were quite a few really.."wth" and unrealistic bits in the movie.. I think the producers wanted it to be just an easy..no real conflict besides the main family conflict..so they made everything else into a fairytale...weird though.. and Liam Hemsworth..ew. -.-"" the only good shot of him was his first appearance...topless and tan. Then it went downhill from there...

Other highlights of the past month include camp, Craig's 21st - which was TOTALLY EPIC! and sleepovers with my crazy friend Tee Tze Mien...hahha the things we do to torture ourselves..>.<...but..they're kinda worth it ;) Oh... and Fei PohS' sleepover... that was completely epic too hahha... good experience...and definitely good time spent together, girls! We should do one again soooonn!


That's it from me. S2

floating when she looks your way

You look around, it's staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under, you wonder
What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

Chorus:
So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes and
You can walk on the water too

Verse 2:
So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe, try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

Bridge:
(step out)
Even when a storm hits
(step out)
Even when you're broken
(step out)
Even when your heart is telling you telling you to give up
(step out)
When your hope is stolen
(step out)
You can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting
What are you waiting for?



-Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole

one love to overshadow every other love

Before I fall too fast
Kiss me quick, but make it last
So I can see how badly this will hurt me
When you say goodbye

Keep it sweet, keep it slow
Let the future pass and don't let go
But tonight I could fall too soon
under this beautiful moonlight

But you're so hypnotizing
You got me laughing while I sing
You got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
And your love is where I'm falling
But please don't catch me

See this heart, won't settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
I'm terrified of what you'll do
my stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away so I can breathe
Even though you're far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes too high
'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye

So now you see why I'm scared
I can't open up my heart without a care
But here I go it's what I feel
and for the first time in my life I know its real

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing
You've get me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling
So please don't catch me
And if this is love
Please don't break me
I'm giving up so just catch me


-Catch Me by Demi Lovato

looks like you, yeah she's nicer too

i love hypocrites.


the ones that are flat out ignorant.



i love liars.


the ones that have lost all sense of truth.



i love actors.


the ones that never know which is the "real" world.

never scared to walk through the fire

So, apparently there's this thing that Twilight fans do to their boyfriends (immediately assuming only girls are Twilight fans) - dump the boys because they're not more like Edward Cullen.


lol.



And funny cos I found that out in one of my creative writing classes yesterday.
We were studying a book this week, about vampires and stuff...and when it came to this guy called Sam who had to share his opinions on it, he immediately jumped to the story of his ex being a twi-hard, and so he read the excerpt with heartbroken angst due to the fact that he failed to be less than the romantic vampire that Edward Cullen is. LOL.


I just had to laugh. All of us did. Not the fact that he had an ex, but the whole "Why can't you be more like Edward Cullen?" deal.


**


So, I wrote something. It was part of my class exercise, but I expanded it today and I'm not sure where I want it to go. So if you have the time, have a read and tell me where you see it going. Do you think it could be a great romantic love story? A freaky thriller that keeps your hairs on end? I can take criticisms too, so don't bother trying to hold that back. Otherwise, there's no way I'll get to improve as a writer. (: Enjoy!




There was a silence that trailed into the distance; a sight that no one could see. Then there was a voice inside of me telling me to open my eyes and look around but I saw nothing. I sat up and looked down at myself, expecting to see at least the outlines of my thighs, or feet. But I saw nothing. I turned my head and felt a soft material graze my shoulders. A scarf. I pulled the blindfold from my eyes and noticed first that there was an aftertaste of a burnt marshmallow, playing drums on the palettes of my tongue. Then there were the tea light candles dancing on every inch and foot of the room floor.

Where am I? It looked like a hotel room and I tried searching for a hotel name or logo that could give me an idea. That’s when I noticed the windows. Big glass windows that stretched from the ceiling to the floor. How could this have not caught my attention first? On the other side of the windows stretched the night lights that kept the city alive and my heart skipped a beat at the sight of them. I wondered about what I did to get to where I was now. The last thing I remembered doing was trying to get into the car after having dinner with Lucas.

So, I admit, I was a little drunk. Ok, maybe a little more than that. But I don’t think I was drunk enough to not realise how I got into this hotel room. And where was Lucas? I tried to get out of bed to look for Luke but realised I was trapped within the confinements that the tea lights kept me in. Each cylinder candle lay shoulder-to-shoulder all across the floor and I tried stretching my leg out over them but I didn’t want to risk losing my balance and falling on them. Instead, I retreated and folded my legs underneath of me.

“Lucas!” I called out. Where was he? “Luke, where are you?”




..... to be continued... depending on what ideas you give me. And sorry if any of it doesnt sound gramatically correct, it's my first draft and I wrote it in a rush, and it's time to sleep. Thank you!

younger now than we were before

Procrastination.


Can be a writer's best friend sometimes.


In this case anyway.. I don't feel like doing much uni work at all. Not a good start to week 3 ... =( but I do feel like writing. So lets hope some good fruits may come of this.



I need more hours in a day...or I needa learn to sleep less and still live through the day. Too many things to do with too little time.

At uni, we talk a lot about reality. In different subjects, different theories have been made up.


Reality is a state of the mind. What people think or accept as reality is what it is, to them anyway. But it doesn't necessarily mean that what they think is "reality" is actually reality.


Reality is an ideology. People want something so much they make it a reality in their head. In their head, everything is ideally good. But in the real reality, that's most likely not the case.


Reality is a misrepresentation. The whole reality thing is confused into mass amount of grey areas because of media representations nowadays. It's hard to tell between reality and TV. Take for example, people's first reactions to the 9/11 attacks were "Is this a movie?" or "It's just like a movie."


Reality. We let our imagination get away from us, by thinking the best of reality. But really, it's not that great. I guess, that's what metaphors do to us, hey?

I'm not making any sense..even to myself.


**


So, I kinda had this random conversation with a friend today, and he just dropped a comment saying I'm the kind of girl who is easy to fall in love with.

My immediate reply: "Thanks, but I see it as a curse."


And it's true. I see it as a curse. Call me weird, but I get really annoyed when people tell me they like me. Especially when they're the most unlikely of persons. Or friends who are supposed to stay friends and nothing more. But I get most annoyed when my guy friends tell me they like me. To me, the moment they tell me is the moment they throw our friendship away. All of it just goes weird after. And even though I strongly believe that girls and guys can remain friends with no dumb feelings getting in the way... like I said before, I've lost my trust in a lot of things. So now, I'm not so sure anymore. And though all solid relationships stem from good friendships... it's just weird when I just know the guy's only ever gonna be my friend but he so dumbly falls for me - like so many others before him - and I get handed the job to break his heart and reject him and lose the friendship.

It just has DUMB written all over it. A curse, like I said. Because I can't help who falls in love with me, neither can anyone help who they fall in love with. Doesn't change the way I feel about it though.


**


I feel.... trapped. Really trapped. Without any outlets.



blech.. stop blabbering. stop procrastinating. and start some reading!

but then again I don't remember you

Gotta stop eating..!!!



Gahhhh!!! I eat too muuuchhhh :( :( :( gotta control myself!




sighhh..




I'm really tempted to give up snacking on chocolate.


But they're my Achilles' heel. =( =( =((



and I must admit, I'm addicted to them. How do I give them up?

half timing and the other half's luck

On days like these, I get reminded why if given a second chance, I will still choose to study Bachelor of Arts at Melbourne Uni.

I've had one of the most enjoyable day of classes today, on top of having a good start last week to my final year.


So what's all this commotion about and where did it come from?


Well, we were in class discussing about the physical form of books against the electronic copy of books when I realised everyone in my class is just as obssessed about books as I am, and all, if not most of them have stacks of books piled in a book shelf in their room - and that satisfies them.


I was animated just sitting back and watching the discussion unfold, soaking it in with pleasure, like I was watching a really good movie.



And based on this week's topic for writing, I realised how therapeutic writing is. I mean, I've always known it's therapeutic, but today, I realised the extent of its healing power. I mean, you get people just opening up and talking about heaps of stuff. For example, sickness, death, embarassing moments, regrets, trauma...the lot. And heaps of writers write to heal too. They tell their heart-wrenching stories which we all love to read. Once the story's been told, they move on.


And I love it.



I love it that stories come out of nowhere and everywhere.


I love my course (:



I love it most of all because I'm doing what I love best; no math or science included! S2

we're slow dancing in a burning room

What I did with my Summer in Melbourne:

Hang out with my niece..

...and nephew
Celebrated Chinese New Year..

...with my family

Celebrated Nicole's birthday..

...with Asher for entertainment.

Went to the beach (love this pic with Gab)...

..but only twice :((

Hung out with my crazy friend Tee Tze Mien in Melbourne city..

...made some funny memoriess

Went to St. Kilda Beach night market..

...and Queen Victoria's night market too.

Overall, an eventful Summer indeed.

Welcome Autumn!

it's a secret and nobody's taking it

it's interesting to realise how many words there are in the English language.


and yet no set of words can be strung together to accurately express the way I feel.



I think I want to express myself. But I'm not sure. Maybe I don't want to. Who knows?



a song, a poem, a book... what words can normally do, it can't now. Maybe I lost my trust in words.



I've lost my trust in a lot of things. And though I know without a doubt that trust is needed in every aspect of life, I find it so hard. So hard.



When you try, and try, and try again...but keep failing, why bother trying again?

distance, we're close and then we run

to love is to risk.


to risk is to have courage.


to have courage is to have fears.


to have fears is to have love.




somehow..i just don't know what to be.

and i guess along the way, i always trusted in the knowledge that simply running away, will make it all better. also trusted that if i wasn't in certain people's lives, things would be easier for them.

can't take the speed it's moving in

been doing way too much thinking. it's doing my head in.


i think about excuses.

excuses are what people use to make themselves feel less guilty about what they've done. kinda makes it all seem better than it really is.

excuses.


i think about hope.

hope is what people do when it seems like everything is falling apart. kinda makes it all seem better than it really is.

hope.


i think about dreams.

it's the hope that helps people get out of whatever they're in or whoever they are. kinda makes it seem like their "way out". makes it all seem better than it really is.

dreams.


I think about lies.

an excuse for your loss in and hope and dreams.

you'll find that life's worthwhile, just smile

fell asleep looking at this. this is on my ceiling. (:


they're stuck to the back of some really ugly wrapping paper i found (Nick's idea) then i stuck them to my ceiling(Nick and Grace's idea). which was a whole lotta hard work if you ask me.

only problem is. there's this thing called gravity. and it's tryna pull my collage down. hmph.

tell the world you've got it all together

can't take it anymore. drive, fly, swim, ride, walk me outta here.

get me out of this place.

can't stand being here. can't stand being the person i am. can't stand having what i have that makes me me.

i just wanna leave. why is that so impossible

so sick of it all.... never good enough, never according to plan, never the one you wanted, never.

i'd crawl my way outta here if i could. i would...

leave and never come back. leave and forget all about this. everything.

hit my head and lose all my memory. then make new ones.

leave and never look back. cos it's not worth it.

saw you there with no disguise

I wanna write. I haven't done that in quite awhile...besides for uni. I kinda stopped having any other creative outlets. sad. I don't know where to start even. I wanna write something. anything. i think about it......then stop and wonder what in the world happened to my wild imagination. who took it away?



Cleaned out my room a bit yesterday. got distracted. and nostalgic. from looking through photos, reading past letters/messages/birthday cards, and i found my first ever "book" in its original manuscript! weird. if you didn't know, before i turned 15, i started writing a book. every day, i added a bit more to the story. in the original manuscript, i had 6 chapters. later on, i typed them all up into this technology thing called the computer and continued until chapter 9. then i stopped adding to the story. don't know why. the end.




i really wanna go to the beach. wanna watch the sunset. take a walk on the shore line. feel the wet sand on a hot day. dip into the waters to cool down.




trying to think of risks that i can do without regretting. or maybe i should just think of risks. and forget regret completely.

off the edge my feet run out of ground

So, as you can see...i changed my blog's skin.


Took me quite awhile.....but i think i'm happy with it :)

Here are photos from me, Jasmine, Franny and Sarah's bake-off.

Franny and Sarah's Chocolate Mousse Cake

Me and Jasmine's French Chocolate Cheese Cake

Served with Caramel Sauce

I have no idea what I want. I don't know what I want this year. No idea where I want to go next year. No idea whatsoever. I used to know. Now I don't.


So my new year's resolution: take risks. don't regret.




Beautiful Mika

Finally got around to cleaning my room up today... this much closer to getting it all done up. For real this time.

Uni's a month away. I'm a little bit excited. But nervous too. Not sure why.

I have too many events to go to, it gives me a headache. hmm..

bleh.