I mustn't get down on myself. I do plenty of charity and do what many would consider to be "my fair share". Much of this is done in silence (as it should be), but at the end of the day I struggle to feel satisfied with my efforts. I want to do more and feel I ought to do more. The last two years as I struggle to build my own business, I have come to realize it is more important now than ever to do more. When you give, you also receive and I learned that early on. Therefore, now, more than ever, I must give.
I have a friend, Jaymee. I met her when I was 13 or 14 years old. We both lived in Chino, California and lived in the same neighborhood and attended the same church. She was always a good person. When she was about 17, she moved away and I never heard from her again. This is a common occurrence as was our reunion...Facebook. Years later, about 24 years after I last saw her, we reunited on Facebook. She reached out to me in an effort to find someone to help our mutual friend who was down on his luck and found himself living under an overpass. As we became reacquainted, I learned of how HUGE Jaymee's heart is. She stands about 5 feet nothing, but her heart consumes her entire stature. She has adopted...who knows how many kids, and these kids are hers! She loves them with all of her. These aren't any average children either, they are kids that require just as much love as another, but much more help as they are physically handicapped, yet she gives and gives and gives. Better yet, she doesn't likely see it that way. She is the recipient.
Then, I became the Father of a girl named Leah. As most parents do, I wanted her to have everything I had as a child and everything I didn't and more! As my wife and I strived to provide for her and eventually her little brother, we made sure she never went without and as we did so, I struggled. I struggled with thoughts that we were somehow giving her too much; that things were being made too easy for her. I worried that she would not appreciate the effort, planning, hard work and sacrifice that ultimately was behind every stitch she wore, every crumb she ate and every toy she ignored. I can be heard every Christmas saying, "We do too much. They have too much." Yet, we continue to perpetuate the problem.
Giving them things is not the problem if they are given out of love and if the things they're given are received in love. Can one really have "too much" if that which is received is appreciated and respected and cared for and the sacrifices made by those who gave are recognized? If the receiving from others prompts the giving to others still, is that not good? I am often told I expect too much from Leah; that she is "just a little girl", but it is important for me that she knows true appreciation. It is important to her success that she knows sacrifice and gratitude. It is absolutely a must that she learns and lives charity. For without charity, how can she make a difference?
So, enter Jaymee's group, FFF, and their future event to feed the homeless. Unfortunately, we could not make the preparation day the day before as the event was 2 1/2 hours away and we had other plans already scheduled that would make a 5 hour drive round trip, plus the work, a bit much on a 6 year old girl. I called Jaymee to see if I could help the following day, yesterday, Sunday. I was concerned about taking Leah with me. I did not know what to expect and her safety is always priority one. Jaymee assured me it would be okay and that the experience would hold as much value or more to Leah than the day before when preparations were made.
After dropping Dax off at the neighbors to be watched, Sarah, Leah and I piled into the old front wheel drive sleigh and headed to the big city. 45 minutes later we arrived at the place we were to meet Jaymee. The first word that comes to mind is "squalor". The second word that comes to mind is "holy hell that is a lot of people sleeping on the street!" Okay, I know that is more than one word, but seriously, it is an overwhelming site. Everybody is used to seeing a homeless person from time to time or to come upon a panhandler now and then, but this was different. At this intersection resides The Catholic Center and The Road Home. One houses homeless men and the other houses homeless women and children. The overflow of homeless find themselves residing on the streets surrounding the area. On this night at around 8pm when we arrived, there were approximately 300-400 homeless gathered on a warm, but still chilly, 25 degree night.
- 840 lunches which consisted of 2 sandwiches, 3 snacks, an apple, a beverage, string cheese and chips. Considerations were made for those with special diets as there were 30 gluten free and 30 peanut free lunches provided as well. To our knowledge, 6 did not receive a bag lunch.
- 883 hygiene kits with 466 being for men, 374 being for women, 40 for children and 3 for newborn. We fell short of 8 newborn kits. Think about that...11 newborns on the streets.
- 1000 socks both of men's and women's sort.
- Over 500 blankets
- Over 110 jackets and an unknown number of gloves, scarves and hats.
Sarah was assigned to hand out blankets from the trailer. Most of the people were polite and formed orderly lines either at the front, side or rear of these long trailers. Jaymee had things organized well. One door formed a line for blankets while the other a line for jackets. One trailer distributed lunch kits while others distributed hygiene kits. Leah and I wandered the masses with a huge box of socks. I was so proud of her. I didn't know what to expect. On one hand, I was like a Mother hen constantly trying to keep her under wing and protected, but on the other hand, the exact point was to expose her to this in hopes of creating a deeper appreciation for what we have and what she's been given.
I was concerned that the smells and appearances would frighten her, but they did not. She has not learned at that age to judge so easily those who look differently than she does. She willingly and eagerly WANTED to hand out socks. As a homeless man or woman reached out their hands or yelled from the spot they built up on the sidewalk to be theirs, Leah quickly grabbed a pair of socks from the box and delivered them with a smile. I heard so many as we walked away comment on how sweet she was or how cute she was.
I even heard a few comments on what wonderful parents we must be to have brought her here to provide her with that opportunity and those comments were definitely feathers in my cap. We met one lady, about 50 years old, that expressed her sentiments about service. She wore very nice boots and I'm sure those boots were coveted by many of her homeless peers. She also showed us her bracelet that read, "Pay It Forward", as she explained that she too found it important to teach her children to serve when they were younger. As she left with socks in hand, she expressed her gratitude to me and Sarah for teaching Leah when she is young.
Leah was an angel. Before we left she chose one of Dax's toys, a stuffed martian toy, and one of her toys, a stuffed Minnie Mouse, to give to children we may have seen while there. She scanned the crowd for that little boy or girl, but had not much luck as it was late and many had been accepted into the Road Home for shelter. We did find a man who asked for two lunches so he could give one to his son. Upon asking, we learned that the son was 7 years old. Leah eagerly gave him the stuffed martian which was received happily. Toward the end of the night, we went into The Road Home and spoke with a worker there. She could not have the little girl come to the front lobby area for the child's protection, but accepted the stuffed Minnie doll from Leah on behalf of a girl named Naomi. You could see by the look on Leah's face, that she understood.
Like I said, I didn't know what to expect. The people we served came from every walk of life. White, black, Hispanic, Native American, Asian, you name it. As mentioned, there were men, women, children and babies...entire families. There were some that were likely only recently homeless, some who were clearly long timers in their plight and others who may have simply been taking advantage to one degree or another. Some dressed quite warmly and others not hardly dressed. I even met one man who must have just arrived from Africa who was very nicely dressed and practically bathed in cologne. One thing I noticed of most was that they were all grateful. Most expressed gratitude as we distributed things and as we passed. Some sought us out in an effort to bring us to another in need who couldn't come to us. They were not threatening or rude in any way.
They left Sarah and I with a strong desire to help more. It was easy to see the need. We spend most of our lives trying to detour around these problems or trying to protect our children's eyes from the squalor, but having now seen, I have a stronger desire to not only do more, but to invite others to do more. I wish everybody in my neighborhood and family could and would go with us next time to see and experience what we saw and experienced. I wish they could. I wish they would. I know they should. Sarah and I have committed to do more and recognize what a wonderful thing it is to have Jaymee and this thing she's put together that is not only a means to help others but a vehicle to help ourselves.
Thank you Jaymee for your hard work and kind soul. Thanks to your patient husband and family as you do this work and thanks to your team of angels who so willingly serve. Thank you Mom and Dad for teaching me to give of myself. Mostly, thanks to my wife and Leah for having this experience with me.
