Happy New Year, and All That Crap!

Since I will be drinking heavily, starting in about an hour, I don't think I'll be posting anything fabulous later tonight. I may get on in the wee hours of tomorrow morning, but the chances of that happening are slim. So, in my last post of 2008, I'd like to wish everyone a Safe, Healthy, and Happy New Year, and I'll see you on the other side... duh, in 2009! Big Kisses... Mwah!

Vegas Translations

I know I promised to explain some of the things that were said in Vegas, and I have yet to do that, so my New Year's gift to y'all, is a set of translations that will hopefully make you laugh your asses off. Sorry, it's kinda long, but that's just more for y'all to enjoy!

"You can't turn yellow on a red." - Noelle said this as we were sitting in the sexy minivan waiting to turn right at an intersection. There was a light and you weren't able to make a right hand turn on a red light. Hence, what came out of Noelle's mouth... just a little jumbled.

"Rectal/vaginal incontinence" - These were phrases coined by Holly. Rectal incontinence was said in relation to having to go to the bathroom and not being able to hold it. I can't remember what the vaginal incontinence was in relation to, but I'm thinking it was something that is better left undiscussed.

"Hey look, I can see the California border/St. George Temple/Mexico..." This was said by multiple members of our party in regards to the distance we drove to Lee's Liquor to get cheap booze. They have no faith, I tell ya.

"Oooh and we can get a christmas tree?" - On the drive to Lee's Liquor, we passed a lot of Christmas trees and I believe Auri pointed it out. Odum followed that up with the phrase documented above.

"Liquor? You lick her, you brought her!" - We know this is an old one, but a favorite of Auri's, thus, it was said on the way to the liquor store.

"I love palm trees! I just want to be surrounded by them!" - Another one of Odum's funny one-liners. I've heard him say this before, so I didn't think it was that funny... apparently it was because the rest of the group was laughing. "Oh my life!!" - Again, another one of Odum's famous sayings. This time he said it after I flipped a bitch on the strip and then swung around into the liquor store parking lot. Granted, I was probably going a little too fast and the van was weighed down with the seven of our asses and all our luggage.

"And no discounts for cash...Fucker!" - Holly said this one, but I honestly can't remember what it was in reference to. I know it was after we went to the liquor store and paid cash for discounted liquor, so it had to be somewhere between the liquor store and the hotel? I'm sure someone will correct me after reading this... hint hint hint...

"Jazz Wings" - Ok, visualize with me... an airplane, and it's wings. You know how the ends of the wings are flipped up? Well, we decided to name them Jazz Wings because they're gay. I'm not being bigoted, just listen to the rest of the explanation. As we were driving back from the liquor store (on the way to the hotel) the six hooligans in the back (including one gay man) somehow got on the subject of some person walking down the road being gay. Auri got pissed (jokingly) and wanted to know what the hell made everyone a freakin' authority on what/who is gay or not. So, for the rest of the drive (until Holly said she was crowning) everything we saw was labeled as "gay." (That woman is gay because she's wearing a pink coat. That car is gay because it has a big trunk. That palm tree is not gay because it was leaning over, as in, not erect.) As we passed the airport, we happened to notice all the planes' wings, and said they must be gay because they have Jazz Wings (reference: Jazz Hands from the movie "Bring It On")!

That's it, I'm fully dilated and crowning...let's get this shit on the road!! - This was not shouted out because she was in labor.... she had to get to the potty, if ya know what I mean...

"She's gonna sneeze out a noodle." Lisa was eating chicken noodle soup and somehow got a noodle stuck in her esophagus between her nose and her mouth. Yeah, not sure how that happened, but in trying to get it out, we were all cracking up, and Holly said it.

"They were sexually fucking..." - This was one that I came up with. I meant to say they were emotionally fucking, but the other one came out. I'm thinking that was a Freudian slip. I've been bound by the laws of HLP'edness and cannot disclose more than that.

"I think I just came in my pants." - This was said by Odum and may have been in response to my above quote. Although, if I remember correctly, he said it more than once that weekend, so we'll need some clarification.

Auri: I just peed. Me: Just now? Auri and I were lying in bed on Sunday morning, after our first night of debauchery and we were chatting. She said, "I just peed," (as in, in the bathroom) and I asked, "Just now?" (as in, in the bed).

(Disclaimer: Read this last section at your own risk... I mean no disrespect to anyone who is Mormon, or who doesn't "manscape").

"Mogina" - Oh, the mogina. The mogina has brought us much laughter in the last three weeks. Someone in the group asked Auri if she ever had strange things happen at her job or if things ever got weird (she's a labor and deliver RN). I won't go into details about all of the discussion because it wasn't all exciting. Auri pointed out how cute the Mormon housewives are when they come in and they either don't trim, or haven't gotten around to trimming the bushes in a very long time. (The fact that they're 9+ months pregnant may have something to do with it). So, after much discussion, we came up with a name for this look regarding the lady parts... Mogina.

Keep in mind, there are a lot of other nicknames for things/people to do with the Mormon Church. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is sometime referred to as the MoTab. A very prim and proper girl is sometimes referred to as a Molly Mormon, or a Molly Mo. I guess what I'm getting at for those of you who are unfamiliar, is the fact that Mo is the shortened version of Mormon and can be combined with other words to describe a particular person, place, or thing!

Well, there you have it... I hope you've enjoyed the translations, and please don't send me hate mail. The remaining posts for the evening of Day Two and all of Day Three are yet to come.

On the Horizon...

Ok, I just realized I haven't posted in a few days, other than the post yesterday, which wasn't really much of a post. I've got a few things in the hopper... here's what's coming up (mostly as a reminder to myself, not necessarily to excite you, but if that happens, all the better).
Vegas - The Rest of the Story
Vegas Translations
Noelle's Cocktail Party
Dancing with the Stars (tonight with Grandma)

I think that's about it, but something else may pique my interest. If so, you'll read about it. I'll be writing tonight after I get back from the show!

No, You're Not Lost

Well, you may be, but that's not my problem... or Auri's, for that matter! Fresh new look for a fresh new year. Resolutions, not required. And just FYI - the picture on the blog header is from the Wynn Hotel in Vegas.

Less Bitching, More Music

Ok, so I'm sitting here at Starbucks doing my work and listening to my iPod (I remembered it today) and I had a revelation. As much as I complain and bitch about things everyday, I'm really living a charmed life. I say that because 1) I am working from home this week, 2) I am also working from home next week, and thus do not have to drive to work in the snow, 3) I get to listen to my favorite music while I work, 4) I choose to do my work at Starbucks which requires me to drive two blocks southeast to the one closest to my house, and 5) a bunch of other things that I can't recall now that they've left my brain. Among everything I mentioned above, I'm no longer under the shadow of micromanagement, I don't have to answer the incessantly ringing phone anymore (hell, I don't even have a phone at my desk... and as much as that was kind of irritating at first, now I view it as a blessing because I haven't answered a phone at work since April!), and I am now treated like the adult that I am.

I'm thinking this wave of contentment came over me due to the songs coming through my earphones. I love music... I've always got it on... I sleep with the radio on, I have a radio in my bathroom that I listen to while I get ready, and I usually don't go anywhere without my iPod (unless I have a brain fart and forget it). I love to make playlists and listen to them according to my mood. Today I've been listening to my Chill Mix. Yes, I'm uber creative when it comes to naming them. So you catch my drift, I'll list the some of the songs I've got on here:

Waiting in Vain and Three Little Birds - by Bob Marley (It's Bob, 'nuff said)Clocks, Hey There Delilah, Bittersweet Symphony and Amber - by the Vitamin String Quartet (they do string remakes of popular songs - tres cool) Banana Pancakes, and Flake - by Jack Johnson (aka, Hottie Patootie)L-O-V-E, Jet Lag, You Had Me, Super Duper Love and Tell Me 'Bout It - by Joss Stone (she's my girl!)Caminando Por La Calle, and Volare - by the Gypsy Kings For You From Me - by Jon McLaughlin, She Is - by the Fray, Sober - by Kelly Clarkson and a bunch more that I won't bore you with. I guess what I'm saying is that I can't live without my music and it amazes me how much it influences my mood. That goes for good, bad, happy, sad, angry, lustful, loving and just content. Anyway, I found these two ideas below that I think I could definitely use. If anyone sees either of them for sale, just let me know!

OR

Whaddaya think?

Delerium Noel and 007

For those of you who have ever wondered what it would be like to get Auri liquored up and take her to a movie, have no fear, I know exactly what it's like, and I can give you some great insight.

On Sunday night, Auri and I decided to go to a movie. We had dinner at her house, played with the bubbies, put them to bed, and then we headed out. We had a bit of time to kill and thought we'd do so by drinking either beer or coffee. In the end, the beer won, literally. We stopped by The Bayou and each ordered a beer and a plate of sweet potato/regular fries to share. Aurs had the Delerium Noel beer and I ordered the Ayinger Ur-Weisse hefeweizen which were both very good. I drank half of mine (since I was driving) and she drank hers, plus my other half. Needless to say, she was a little tipsy by the time we left for the movie. All I have to say is the short drive from The Bayou to the theater on 33rd was extremely entertaining and I quite enjoyed myself. We laughed from the time we got in the car to the time we got to the theater. Then, to top it all off, we had the whole theater to ourselves. We were able to sit wherever we damn well pleased, and we got to be loud and goof off without being rude. It was great. The absolute highlight of my evening was the preview for the new Fast and Furious movie coming out next summer that is bringing the original cast back. Holy shit! I'm so excited, I can't wait. I think I screamed after the preview was over. Here's a link to the IMDB page. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1013752/ Can you tell I'm excited?

Well, there you have it. Auri loaded at the movies. If you'd like more descriptive details of the evening that I'm not allowed to publish, give me a call. We'll talk!

Vegas - Early... Day 2

I'm including pictures in this post that aren't necessarily in order of having occurred, like I wanted to. These were pics from Lisa's camera and I just couldn't pass them up.

Now, where did I leave off??? I think we were at the Flamingo having a drink...

After we finished our drinks, Starsky, Hutch, Auri & I started off on our long, freezing-ass cold walk back to the hotel. I'm pretty sure I've been colder at some point in my life, but for those 15 minutes, I didn't think so. We got to our room and then called the rest of the crew to see where they were... and apparently they were right behind us because they were just coming into the hotel. Odum made his way up to our room and the girls made their way back to theirs. Since I wasn't feeling well, I made everyone leave after about 15 minutes so I could be sick in the bathroom without an aural audience. Sadly, I couldn't puke. TMI, I know, but you're getting it anyway. I'll leave the next hour out of the story to protect the innocent. (Note: nothing naughty happened. I swear on my mother's life!)

Mike and Greg left our room around 4:30 or 5 AM and as we were letting them out the girl across the hall was just leaving to go run the Las Vegas marathon! She asked if we were going and we informed her we were just going to bed. Yeah, we're special like that. Aurs, Odum and I got in bed around 5 and slept until maybe 9. I should mention here that I was nauseous all night, tried to throw up multiple times, and couldn't, so I didn't get much sleep. I think we were awoken at 8:30 by Noelle on the phone telling us to get our asses in gear and get moving because we had planned to go to Sunday brunch at the Bellagio since we had heard it was so good. I think we actually left the hotel around noon. A good portion of time had passed while Auri was face-down in bed... doing what? I can't say. Sorry, but I value my life.

Brunch at the Bellage was pretty good. I don't know that it was worth $30, but it was ok. It was pretty uneventful... just the seven of us, and Michelle, stuffing our faces for an hour. After brunch, we bought our tickets for "O" and then Auri, Noelle, Rose and I headed over to the Luxor while the rest of the bunch went back to the hotel to take a nap. Auri's mom and step-dad were staying at the Luxor and had run the marathon that morning so we wanted to say hi. Plus, the girls wanted to see the Luxor, so we thought we'd cross that off the list. And even though Mike and Greg were staying at the Luxor, that is NOT the reason we went over. We did happen to run into them though on our way up to Auri's parents' room. The picture below is not of Auri's victory dance. That one is on my other computer and I'll upload it later!I'm ending here for now because it's time to head out. And my fingers are so cold I can't feel them. More to come... we're getting sooo close!

Stupid Giggly Girls, Obnoxious Little Boys and the Wisdom That Comes With Age

I don't know if I can explain adequately in words how utterly ecstatic I am that I'm over the age of 25. Hold please, while I back up and explain. I was finding that I'm a bit tired today and figured I better leave the house to do my work so I didn't end up falling asleep on the couch. Sadly, I left my iPod at home which is my saving grace when I'm at the coffe shop on my computer. As my punishment, I've been FORCED to listen to whiney teenagers bitch and complain, and try to flirt with each other for the last hour. I'm ready to effing kill one of them. Hence, the cartoon of Happy Bunny to the left.

First of all, there were two little boys here that were waiting for two little girls to meet them. The entire time the boys were here by themselves, they were quiet, listened to their iPods and didn't even talk to each other. Once the skanky little girls got here, all hell broke loose. As soon as they walked in the door the boys got all impatient and fidgety, and when the girls finally got to the table after getting their hot chocolate (why the hell come to a coffee shop?) the one kid put his hood on and laid his head on the table. Hello, you dumb little effer... the way to flirt with girls is NOT to ignore them. They sat and argued and spilled shit on each other and were REALLY loud. They finally left before I was forced to maim one of them... and then I was graced with the presence of two slightly older girls who sat down in the same spot five minutes later. The two of them bitched about, "How everything has changed since last year, and everything is so different now." Gag me, chick.

In any case, I guess what I'm really trying to say is... I'm glad I'm 29. I'm happy that I'm not a stupid, little, friggingly annoying teenager, or young adult for that matter, anymore. What's the saying? With age comes wisdom (I think). And I certainly do not profess to know everything (although I may pretend to), but I do know that I'm a hell of a lot wiser than I was ten, five, and even one year ago.

Cracked Out

I was driving Noelle home from Rose's party last night and we were going south on Foothill Boulevard, right in front of Foothill Village. Over on the east side of the road there was a dude walking along the sidewalk in a wife beater and jeans that were hanging off his ass. He was probably in his early 20s. Mind you, it was maybe 15 degrees outside. He was looking all over the place like someone was either watching or following him. He ended up getting in some car that pulled up on the side of the road about two minutes later. Kind of random... however, not so unusual for what Noelle and I tend to see late at night!

I'm Officially a Jackass

My mom likes to buy Christmas presents throughout the year to give to neighbors, the people that work with my dad, etc. At some point this year she got a bunch of stuff from my aunt to add to the gift collection. Last week she decided to get it out and start wrapping it all so it would be ready to go, come the week of Christmas. My mom asked me to get the box and I told her with 99% certainty that I hadn't ever seen it. She figured it had been stored somewhere in the basement and told me she got the loot around October. Do y'all recall the Great Cleanout? If so, you'll rememeber it happened over Labor Day weekend which was at the end of August/beginning of October. This means that I would distinctly remember placing the box of goodies in my closet after that point, and it would be easily visible because it is all very neatly organized. Therefore, there is no way it's in my closet or anywhere else in the basement, for that matter. Well, fast forward a week , post searching high and low all throughout the house, garage, cars, trunks and anywhere else we can think of. Still can't find it... my mom is in tears... so I decide to check the basement one more time. Well, lo and behold, the plastic box in the bottom corner of my closet (that I was 99% sure did NOT contain the gifts) happens to be the box full of missing stuff. I pulled it out of the closet, carried it upstairs, and before I got to the top I told my mom, "Don't be mad at me, but look what I found!" Needless to say, she was relieved. And now I can say I'm officially a jackass.

Vegas - The Third Installment

Let this first picture serve as the banner for the whole weekend. Absolute shock and awe! Did I really just witness all the events of the last 24 hours? Youbetcha!

Without further delay, here comes the rest of the story. We were at... the bar was empty... After we got a few drinks in us and loosened up a bit, we got a bit more adventurous. We, meaning Holly. It was kind of like we were chillin' at our table, dancing, talking amongst ourselves, and we sent Holly out to be our bait. Although, that woman needed no coaxing from any of us... it was ALL HER. And we love her for being wild and crazy and downright embarrassing, because without her, we probably would have left the bar shortly after we'd arrived, and not had a whole hell of a lot of fun that night. I'm not quite sure how much time had passed, but at one point, I turned around and realized the bar was packed. Maybe it was in between the multiple trips to the potty in the Flamingo!? Ok, so I have to relay a side note here. And bear with me because I'm lettin' it all hang out (no pun intended). All I have to say is that the woman (and I know it was a woman) who designed crotchless Spanx is a frickin' genius. Keep in mind - not just Spanx, but crotchless Spanx. Let's be honest girls...There is nothing worse than being tipsy (or stone-cold sober for that matter) when you realize you have to pee and the thought of having to peel your girdle off, do your business, and then squeeze your ass back into the girdle is just more than you can handle! Jesus, I'm tired just thinking about it. With crotchless Spanx, you just drop your trousers or lift up your skirt, hold the opening apart (much like a guy in his tidy whities) and go. I think I went pee 15 times that night just because it was so convenient!
Back to Holly... She is a wild woman. Each time we left for the bathroom, she told the security guards that we were coming back so they could be sure and frisk her upon re-entry. The picture above is of her and her favorite security guy of the evening. At first when he grabbed her, I thought he was seriously cuffing her... then I saw the looks on their faces and realized they were both enjoying it. I won't tell you about everything else she was doing (like reaching into the pockets of every guy within a 25 foot radius and asking them for cigarettes) because she might not want me to divulge that kind of info.... **Enter me: whistling, acting innocent**
Judging from the look on her face, it was good for her, too. Check out that ass in the background... no, not mine.... the blue one. Note: that was the third great ass of the evening. More on him and his sidekick in a minute.

NOT a gratuituous shot of hot bartender with fake peni

NOT a gratuitous shot of said bartender enjoying holding two heads in his lap

A nice little pic of me and the aftermath of the BJ

The picture above is of Holly, Shorty the security guard, Auri and Lisa. Shorty was just one of the many men acosted by Holly that night. So anyway... we're having a good time, dancing, talking, singing to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me," and Holly reeled in a group of boys from Long Island (now say it with me, Luong Eyeland). The three of them are in the picture below, from left to right, Dave, Mark and Andy. Dave and Mark are cops, and Andy is a NYC fire fighter. We now lovingly refer to them collectively as the New York boys. Here comes the part of the story where I introduce the second great ass of the evening. Let me just say this... if I had to pick one ass to hold onto for the rest of my life, I would choose Andy's. I think I (along with the rest of the girls - minus Odum, but not because he didn't yearn to) grabbed Andy's ass at least 25 times in that four hour time frame.
These three boys were a ton of fun, although, I have to say, I didn't get to know them as well as some of the rest of the group did. That's only because I was so distracted by the two guys walking around the bar in their hideous wigs, giant sunglasses, and '70s leisure suits. Who the hell were these two, and were they for real? Naturally, I grabbed the two of them the first chance I got and asked them to pose with me. Being the attention-whores they are, they very willingly obliged. All I can say is the looks on their faces were sooo dirty. Auri referred to them in her blog as the '70s porn stars... I hate to say the same thing, but how can anyone argue with the label?
We came to know the boys as Starsky and Hutch, and although they skirted around the bar and got molested by countless women, they kept coming back to our table to chill. How can anyone blame them? Hello! I mean, come on... you've got two girls who give BJs in public. Who wouldn't want to party with us?! We closed out the party at the bar sometime around 1:30 or so and headed to the piano bar inside the Flamingo. Why, I don't know, I was just going with the flow. I think it's because the bar was right next to the bathrooms, and since we had spent so much time in there, that seemed like the next logical stop in our travels.
At this point in the night, Holly was three sheets to the wind/loaded/drunk/completely oblivious to the world, so they decided to take her back to the hotel. We hung out at the piano bar for a while (Auri, Starsky, Hutch, and I) thinking that the whole group headed back, but when we got up to leave, we realized Odum, Noelle and Lisa were right behind us chillin' with the New York boys. The four of us headed out (mostly due to the fact that I was getting nauseous and needed some air) and I think they all stayed behind and hung out for a while.
I needed water and strangely, none of the little convenience stores along the Strip were open, so we headed back into the casino. Somehow we went from the Flamingo, out and around, and back into the Flamingo. I'm still trying to figure that one out... but it was freezing and I didn't feel well, and may have still been tipsy, so give me a break. The four of us grabbed seats at the bar, got a drink (water for me) and hung out for a few.

Ok, I'm ending here. It's late, I have a cold, and I need some sleep. Hope you've all laughed again... more to come tomorrow!

P.S. While in the piano bar, Starsky and Hutch took off their wigs and glasses and introduced themselves to us as Mike and Greg, brothers from Missouri. More on them later...

Snow Day

Inspired by a post at The Broke-Ass Bride, I'm joining in on Snow Day! To the left is a picture taken from the window of our conference room. Too bad it's not a real Snow Day and I'm not home in bed! But alas, we live in Utah, and we only get Snow Days with a minimum of three feet of snow in the valleys! At least we're leaving early today!



Could be worse, I suppose... I could live in Las Vegas and have to deal with this... and they don't have plows!

Oh my God, I have ISSUES!!!

I don't know if any of you remember from a post, or another blog, or a social networking site long, long ago, somewhere in internetland, that I mentioned I'm a reality TV junkie? Well, I can no longer say I'm a junkie and not have the confounding proof to back my shit up. My junkie-ness was officially confirmed last night when I watched Momma's Boys. I had never heard of it, but I flipped on the TV when I sat down to continue working on the Vegas blogs, and it was on. The show is seriously appalling, but the shit on there makes for some great entertainment! The pic here is of one of the contestants... and he's a firefighter! Hotness! You can put this fire out, baby!

Vegas - Pics for Thought

Here's a pic of the chocolate fountain at the Bellage mentioned in the previous post.

My first drink of the evening

Once we got to Carnaval Court, we grabbed tables and drinks because we obviously didn't pre-party long enough before we left the hotel. Honestly, the bar was dead, and none of us were really feeling it. When no one is there, it tends to be a little too boring for the likes of us. Before we went in, we stopped at the little kiosk outside and Auri and I each got a pair of sunglasses. Auri and Noelle tried on some really sassy hats, too. Too bad we didn't buy one of them.

Auri and Nellie

When we first got there, we didn't have a lot of interaction with other people at the bar (mostly because there wasn't anyone there yet) so we made our own fun by posing for pictures.... as you'll see as you scroll through the post.

Lisa, Odum and Holly the Wild Woman

I seriously couldn't have asked for a better time that night. Well, maybe I could have asked that I didn't get nauseous, but I'll get over it. And just think, all these pictures were taken before the fun really began. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm stalling on getting to the good stuff.

Shmodus and Myself

Maybe it's because ... well, I don't know. I'm going to leave the rest of the pictures for review, and I'll continue the rest of the story tomorrow!

The MILFs

I love alcohol... especially when it's in a ginormous cup!

The Boobie Girls

I don't know what I was thinking... apparently that I'm hot, duh!

Odum and Rosemarie laughing their asses off!

The BJs that Lisa so adoringly bought us for our birthdays

Ok, I guess I have to tell the story about the above picture. Noelle and I were sitting at our table, minding our business, and out of the blue, we were grabbed and told to go up to the bar. We got up, turned around and saw the bartender sitting on the bar with two drinks between his legs that looked very surprisingly like erect peni. Yes, boys and girls, Lisa arranged for a Blow Job for each of us birthday girls. We attacked those drinks with gusto, but once again, Noelle was able to suck a drink down in two seconds flat, and she left me in her dust. I guess I can say at least it wasn't giz!

Noelle and I after "giving" our BJs

Alright kids, that's it for now. I'll add more pictures and continue the story tomorrow! Still mustering up the energy for the retelling of the story...

Vegas - the Second Edition

Ok, are you ready for it? Here comes the second installment of the Vegas story. Or at least the parts I have been allowed to share. There is really only a small amount that I have been required to leave out!

I think I left off on the part where we were heading to the liquor store. I told everyone that if we went to Lee's (which was down at the other end of the Strip, past the airport) they give discounts for cash, and that was the best place I knew of to get cheap booze. And let's face it, that's half the reason we went to Vegas... So anyway, the seven of us are in the minivan and we take off down the Strip, and drive, and drive, and drive. Now I've been down that way before, so I knew where I was going, but the others hadn't, so they kept joking that we were on our way to California. Not funny.

This pic is of me and Aurs at breakfast at the Wynn.

Once at the liquor store, we stocked up with all the essentials - rum, vodka, tequila, pre-made cosmos, wine, and a few other pre-made concoctions. It was all so cheap, we couldn't help ourselves. We hopped back in the van and headed toward the hotel as quickly as possible because Holly was crowning (refer to the last post with the quotes for clarification). Once we made it to the hotel she took off while we went to check in, and was gone for like 45 minutes. Apparently she never made it to the loo, she was gambling the whole time!

NOT a gratuitous boob shot of Auri

Now, it's only fair that I make mention of some of the pictures, like the one shown above. This wasn't taken as a gratuitous boob shot, it was taken as a reenactment of our first Vegas trip when I turned 21. I'm sure the boys won't mind. In any case, this was our lovely bed. Nice and comfy, but we could have used a Queen, as opposed to a full. We did have a Queen in our room, just not one we could both sleep on! Ha!

Here are Aurs and I in the Atrium at the Bellagio

After we all checked in (they couldn't give any of us adjoining rooms, let alone put us on any of the same floors) we took our stuff up to our respective rooms and got situated. Oh who am I kidding? The bellman brought our bags to us along with our gallons of liquor ...which we were greatly appreciative of. Auri wanted to take a quick power nap. She obviously has children and values her rest. I value my rest, however, I don't have children and I when I hit my location I want to Go! Go! Go! Honestly, we tried to chill for a bit, but we were too excited for that. Apparently, the other girls started drinking without us, so Noelle was pretty lit when we decided to head out. I may include the picture of her and her numb lips later (depending on how she treats me this week, ha ha ha).

Odum, Auri, Noelle (kinda loaded - can you tell?) and Rose

Lisa had made plans to meet some of her family over at the Bellagio so we decided to tag along and see the atrium. Auri had never seen it, and I don't think Noelle had either. I know Odum and Rose had because I took them both there on previous trips. We took tons of pics of the flowers and the setup inside and then headed to the Patisserie where the chocolate fountain is. I guess I should include a pic of the fountain, huh? I'll throw it in later because I don't want to screw up the formatting I've got going on.

Fabu cake at the Jean Phillipe Patisserie at the Bellage

Once we saw the chocolate fountain and had our "Oohs" and "Aahs," we each got a treat (gelato, pastries, etc.), sat down for a few to eat them, and then headed over to the cute store called ... I can't remember the frickin' name, so I'll have to get back to you on that. Anyway, I found a candle in this cute little store, and yes, it was $45, but oh my god, it smelled divine, so I bought it. It's the same candle that Auri's mom has had for 20 years sitting on her dresser. I couldn't resist. And it ended up being only one of two things I bought while I was there. So neener.

Scenery in the Atrium

After my little shopping stint, we headed out to grab our ride (and what a sweet ride it was) from the valet to head back to our hotel for dinner. We decided to eat there because we had a 50% discount on all food due to Lisa's sister's discount. We sat down, ordered a bottle of champagne, and then Holly decided that she needed chapstick NOW, so she left. She started off in the gift shop, but apparently their chapstick wasn't fabulous enough, so she went up to the spa to check out its selection. Then she called Lisa and insisted she needed her help picking one out, so Lisa left the table for a while. Hello people... trying to get our drink on and y'all keep leaving. What the hell?

Lisa & Noelle waiting in the Valet at the Bellagio

Dinner was good, and the water was even better.... Ask Holly about it. I think there was crack in it, or at least small traces of heroin. The water should be tested. Actually, the best part about dinner was the waiter with the great ass. Too bad he wasn't our waiter. Now that I think of it, he was the first of many great asses that evening. I tried to take an inconspicous picture of him from afar but none of them turned out. Oh, what I wouldn't pay to grab that ass!

A few of the many mini bottles stolen that weekend

Ok, so after dinner, we went to our rooms and got ready for our night out. We had planned ahead of time to go to Carnaval Court at Harrahs. They don't charge a cover and we had heard nothing but good reviews about the bar, so it was first on our list for the night. We were apparently on the list to get into Jet at the Mirage that night, but we never quite got around to going over there. So many boys, so little time! We hopped into two cabs courtesy of Eric, the extremely HOT valet guy at our hotel, and headed for our bar. We decided earlier in the day that Eric probably strips for a second job at night. The man is a gift to the world. And I called dibs, so I get him first.

Alright, I'm ending there for the second installment. I'm going to start working on the 3rd edition, but don't expect it right away. Hopefully, it'll be done by tomorrow for y'all's reading pleasure. I need to gather my energy to recount the next part....