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Whizz past the green; tear past the line blinked red. The people stop for you to go When the line blinks green the cars will know. What defines you? Will you whizz pass the red lined green, let the blue-reds chase and speed on the black? Yes you will but Will you cause a splash of red, a burn of black And flames of white?
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Something's not there. It just isn't, still.
At times, in different points of our lives along the way there's just this void for a certain something that we need. In the end they always turn out to be useless after we've had too much. But if we've had too little of it then we turn out all crazy. But after having too much of it we go crazy. So yet again after the void follows insanity in our actions.
And most of the time we just don't know who we are. Through the things we do, through what we want, and through what we fight for, we finally sit down one day, sigh and ask ourselves whether it's really us which we're living out. We turn to the end of every day, tattered, tired past one's eyes but suppressed by of all the things the caffeine, stress and horror.
It's indeed worth the seemingly bloody battle. We can make our way out alive easily but scarred and slashed to our emotional and mental roots. These scars burn. They make us remember the times of these, and they push us further to succeed. And in the end we can possibly triumph and feel great for all our worthiness or whatever.
But I'm going to relive this. For everything that's worth.

Here's part of the picture, so much more to fill.
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This post starts from Friday. Been busy.
FRIDAY
Haha well there were no DMPs for that day so yay didn't have to go to school. Reached school at 1 something eventually and sat down for the prefect candidate interviews haha. They were interesting but somehow I do agree sitting down and facing so many prefects, totally filling up your entire visual spectrum from left to right is indeed frightening la. Haha lone chair down there in the middle of the room facing everyone else.

Then after a while I hopped over to track agm! It was interesting. Well Kelvin's wish was finally achieved when we our meeting venues grew from a single classroom to the swimming gallery and finally to the honourable LT1. Haha oh well.

I believe I'm ready to take on the task for next year and drive everyone in every way I can. Raffles track will not fall and it will soar higher than now and forever. We all just have to work together, provide the improvement which we can be proud of for ourselves, and ensure that in every way, we are all not losers but winners in our own right.
And then I went back to interviews and sat through till 7 plus. Interesting candidates really. Haha.
SATURDAY
Early in the morning we went for the HCI sports pursuit competition haha. I think we came in fastest or something but our overall accumulated points eventually put us in nowhere so yay we screwed up. Haha next year I think we should put people of all different sports talents into a team, and not select three of us (ruiyong, tingzhang and i) all runners into one team and totally screw up sports like softball tennis basetball volleyball and blahblah.

However the sports quiz guys did well. Team category they lost to nanyang by one measly point. Matthias lost to nanyang again in the individual round. So both runner-ups but great job done! Well done guys and let's keep up Raffles!
So that was the morning and afternoon spent there. After a whole long day Kevin and I finally reached school for Mr Lim's farewell! Haha and we were glad we weren't that late. For it was really worth it. We kicked off the whole thing by placing a burger king crown on his head (yes the one that will and tom wore during the one degree asia breakfast) and pasting stickers all over him hahaha.

Then halfway through we decided to play zong ji mi ma and added all kinds of rubbish stuff onto a little piece of cake. There was ginger, mustard, soy sauce, sesame oil, curry powder, cheese, vegetable, and alot of gross stuff as far as I could remember. Hahah and in the end we all made Mr Lim eat it.

So there went out the entire fun and crazy farewell haha. It was nicely done up with videos skits and games and telematches haha and plus the LT and gryphons lair was done up brilliantly. THANK YOU DECOR GUYS, and I'm sorry for not being there frequently enough to help out.
The memorable giant prefects crest sprawled out on the gryphons lair floor really brings back memories of my very first prefects investiture. It was such a classy classy thing. And my second one was a bubbly marine event. What will PI'07 be?

Hahah and after the whole nice dinner and farewell thing it was really a high-note ending. And auyong strikes pose for the cam yay hahaha.

Will be back today. Somehow something's not there.
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It's later into the morning by about ten hours haha I'm back.
Today there's no modules so I'm still here and settling stuff and later I'll be in school by 1pm. Hmm well now's the time to pick up the drive and I know I have to keep it going. Just keep it going and going and never slow down nor turn back.
Well a few days ago I went back to yumin after training, well ultimately to join my parents after their parents' meeting for my brother's overseas trip but also went to talk to Mrs Tan and people. It felt great to be back, and haha the school now is much more colourful.

And that was a few days ago. Yesterday was fun. Spent a nice afternoon in the sec1/sec2 prefect candidates interviews and finished at about 7 plus, and looking at the entire junior block in its full night-time glory again.

Then after that the dinner was fun! We went to sizzler (under Mr Lim's treat, so nice) and we were all binging away and bringing up old gossip.

I think I ate too much or something. Now I feel horribly stuffed even after an entire night. Hahaha it was fun. We were all digging at what happened during One Degree Asia. So it was like. Junyang and I had our fair share of gossip oh well. Then we realised Paul had nothing talkable about so in the end we brought up his condom-blowing antics HAHAHA. So we were saying he was too lonely during the conference and so he turned to his condom and started blowing it. Oh well hahaha.
It was a nice day now let's just run on with the drive and kick some things starting.
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These few days have been up my neck. Haven't been posting sorry.
Can't really think of much sensible to say too. Been in a rush. Till the weekend or something. It's a nice 1.10am in the morning now I'm high and awake with cappucino in my veins from the nice dinner with paul junyang bingwen and mr lim. Haha. And chipping away at the block of work. It's going down.
And drive it for Raffles; you know I can do this. Yes I can.
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Another round for Raffles.
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Some nice morning again. The usual hit-snooze-and-sleep-till-ten scenario happens without fail haha. Now just have to clear my stuff and make sure things are all settled nicely.
Hmm sometimes I guess it's important to admit the overlooked and unnoticed things into your head especially when you want things to flow and you want a clear mind and not get confused and clouded. I don't know, it might be painful or irritating or just dumb and stupid but admitting in into us and acknowledging it gives us an edge. As it all goes again, turn out a little more, give it a little more inside.
In the very least we got to be ahead of ourselves, to expect the problems coming, to see the incoming pain and trouble. To foresee our errors and failures and to note them down. Learn from what you are going to fail, and make sure by that time, you've already succeeded. Foresight is crucial.
Holding the fort is one thing. Holding out and ensuring the status quo even in the most testing conditions is important and great. But also deploying armies and battalions is another story. It'd be a legend. To hold out firmly is great. To push out further and work even harder and making things turn out more than right is some insane goodness. We shouldn't work towards what we can achieve. We work towards higher that what we should achieve, if in all cases the expectations are higher.
If in any way, you feel like you're burning out, think again and realise that the helplessness and senselessness in resting and preparing for another great burst isn't going to help, for you'd be working JUST for that next burnout, and the whole hiatus will just make you feel like resting more.
I can tell myself; that I want to step up a few more steps up. I want to fly when I run. I don't want to complete the round in a record, I want to achieve THE record in a round.
I want to push it all up for raffles, for everyone living in it and breathing its air. I want to take everyone together and soar. Somehow we'll make it in all different ways and through all these paths we reach the goal of yet close to utter success but we shall forever eternally work harder and harder again and again. One day we know that Raffles is really out there, and we can prove it.
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It just started raining as I'm writing this and something tells me it'll be a dead day. Well haha went to Macritchie early in the morning to join the cross country guys for training and at that time the sun was this brilliant red orb in the sky.

So began my 8km run soon after. It was really hell. I mean, haha it's more or less my first time running 8km for training so I almost couldn't hold on. And just ran and ran and finally finished in 38 minutes and realised my arch was hurting like mad and also noted that the tendon+ligament injury probably acted up again. Blah.
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Today there was so many things to take photos of haha. Shall post a few.
Well these days have been rather dazed and mind-clouded but I guess they'll get fine. And of all the things we find in our days some just stand out, some are right there, and some we fail to notice however we rummage through our memory drawers. Which brings us to a good question: How will you stand out in everyone?
Blah haha being random and messed. Right now we'll all dig the skies for whatever we want and later settle our debts for what has come and what we've overlooked. Haha. And for training most importantly I have to get that leg-to-the-front-and-not-trail-the-back kinda thing drilled into myself. Not easy. It's really tiring.
Well on to today. Tgif.
Early in the morning I hopped on the astroturf as usual way early before assembly and was staring at this giant open slit on the turf.

Haha it's been 16 years (or less since the astroturf arrived in school) and now it's all pretty damaged. Mr Kwan was saying that to repair an astroturf we'd probably need about 250k. Perhaps they can do something after the school's renovation phase haha.
Then after that dmps started so yeah we had to go to this humanities room on the 3rd floor of the admin block which is still like, painfully foreign to us sec3s (or to me only at the very least) so yeah it was quite a view. Looking at the worn down admin block is quite creepy haha.

Then english dmp started and we had a rather good time. We watched She's The Man! Haha the movie was out in cinemas not too long ago and now we're already watching it thanks to Ms Kuo. Haha and it's a fun movie. Complicating like hell the way they put it on the trailers but in the end it really was a good laugh.
Then came philo dmp and it was pretty interesting. After school ruiyong, tingzhang and i had to attend meeting for the hci sports pursuit thing so yah now we have quite a lot to cover and learn about. Then ruiyong was blasting at tingzhang about how inproportionate his body looked in comparison with his legs and stuff and yeah they were being all rubbish the whole while.

Then after a while did some fun drawing and designing then left for training. The new 7-storey school block is soon to be up haha what a fun thing to expect for next year. And by the time the boarding blocks are up I'd be gone and off to rj.

Then it was training and a hell lot of drills and stuff and before I went home I snapped this shot. Haha I'm being weird just describing everything I see today. Lots of other photos too haha (including this rubbish one of marcus' grin) but anyway I guess it's pretty fun. Oh well another weekend to tide over. Tomorrow we'll all run at macritchie early in the morning yay.

It blinds, it blinds. The clouds grow all over Spit spat on the spot down under Messy tangle blunder gets darker every second but it blinds its way through, it blinds. Like the hope we have to bear like the ticket for the entry into this place we dearly hold so high up there It blinds.
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Raffles Rugby took home a silver in souls worth more than gold.

It's one of the very last finals of the year and raffles filled the seats with white and flashed a line of eleven flags waving in unison. We cheered screamed yelled ourselves hoarse in the midsts of all that fury as the teams struggled to keep up each other but eventually we lost 15-10.

The prizes were collected and tears were shed and sweat was mixed but we know everything was alright. Well everyone was crying and all but they were made to look up proudly for they were champions in their right. It was really emotional haha I swear I kinda teared. Well that's what raffles can bring and for us to be up to it, it's all up to us.

Well done Raffles.
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RAFFLES C'DIV HOCKEY TOOK HOME ANOTHER GOLD!
I reached the place quite late, like few minutes into the second half cos of french lessons. But it was roaring with cheers and full of spirit yay haha.

Things were really intense. Like when the match started we left them 1-0 almost immediately. But when I entered the stadium the saints had scored twice on their side. So we were rather anxious to score another point to equalize it. And halfway through the second half the prefects formed this whole line of 6 flags and waved like waves. Hahaha and tomorrow for the rugby match we're gonna bring TWELVE FLAGS!

Eventually the game ended (including extra time) and we drew 2-2. AND WE WON ON PENALTIES HAHA BALU AND HIS FINISHING SCORE. Watching him earn back the equalising goal and finish off the penalties wonderfully haha. Some wicked number 13 magic.

And through it all the team saves the day with another gold in hand yay haha.

Hahaha yay another raffles victory!
TOMORROW RAFFLES RUGBY WIN IT FOR US. ALL THE WAY RAFFLES.

It's 15th August 2006 7.22pm, after Hockey Finals And we're returning to school to put back the flags. Doesn't matter really; for all that happens in a sip of green tea and fresh cold air Nice long talks and dead blank stares. Today was won, tomorrow awaits. Hip hip, hurray.
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I now have this gigantic shelf in my room so yay finally I can just leave my clutter all over the place or something haha.

Well things have been fine. Somehow with normal lessons and the usual hectic schedule I feel really okay but now with the modules and lots of free time I suddenly feel like everything's climbing all over.
In these woven threads of uncertainty you try not to thrive, but is it so; in the life you lead, that you were meant to grow? Towards the light, away from the pain Gain so much as a departure ticket from the usual drain. It's time we moved; to shallow up over.
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I opened up a small plastic file, took out the contents and papers and stuff.
I opened up a bigger plastic file, took out its rubbish and junk and placed them on the desk.
I exchanged their contents eventually, placed the small plastic file on the shelf and the bigger one into my school bag.
That took 3 hours. It's a nice morning.
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Returned from math class and I'm feeling super confused about logs.
I don't know I guess I've really been super disoriented these days. Dwelving deep gives me headaches and fatigue spells. But I seriously need to sort things out before I die flat myself.
You know sometimes smashing stuff up really feels logical and reasonable haha. But I won't do it. And there lies just so many things to be done. And I will complete them. Sometimes it's just plain dumb to return to the spot where you left off ages ago. But you realise you've indeed come back to where you were.
How now?
How would I know. Oh well I need to fight it. Ugly sides of the world now all stare at you while you're at it so yeah get out, snap out of it. Come now let's all be politically correct and shut up. Haha yay.
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Before the Café meeting at the Esplanade I found myself by the sea looking at the city. It never gets any quieter early in the morning haha peaceful.

Well the Café meeting was nice, just talked way out of point too many times. Now at least we have something going! Will work hard on things and soon we'll see things grow and develop.
Hmm somehow these days I feel I've been letting a lot of people down. Like Mr Wee for physics makeup lessons and stuff. And people who need help but I just can't be there to offer some. I feel so sorry. I guess I'm going to pay it back. Somehow and someway I will. Chase back on what I've left behind and let this whole world feel better.
Give it in a little more inside; turn it a little more out. Are you in control of your life? Are you making those steps on your own or is the crowd driving you in that direction you're going? For you know very well the whole world's on this journey for truth, pleasure and pain; so get a grip.
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Okay here's about three days' worth of posts haha, from Wednesday onwards.
WEDNESDAY
Early in the morning we immediately got to the hotel. Haha I got the name wrong. It's actually the Mercure Roxy hotel or something. I don't know how I got the "Century" in anyway haha. It's a rather nice hotel haha the lobby was simple and had purple sofas and contemporary furniture.

And we were pinning our hopes on having a nice view of the fireworks at night during the National Day Parade! So we all rushed to the hotel room (gosh I can't remember the floor nor the room number) and opened it and rushed to the window to see:

Sigh what an utter disappointment. We'd probably end up watching the fireworks on the neighbouring peoples' tv sets. Nvm. Anyway after we left our bags in the room we all went to the science centre cos my brother wanted to catch the dinosaurs' exhibition. Was feeling very cynical (like YEAH DINOSAURS -.-) But in the end it proved to be rather nice!


Haha after that was a horrible lunch at the macdonalds in the science centre. It was so horribly crowded people had to fight while waiting for seats and I was forced to engage in some staring game or something. Haha couldn't be bothered. Ran outside and ate by the steps. And after that we went on a tour round the main science centre itself. Was rather boring la but anyway haven't been there for ages. I still see the same rope-climbing robot man and all the aviation stuff.
After that I went to the new Singapore Discovery Centre haha and it was rather uninteresting except this bus tour of the SAFTI officer cadet camp. Haha yeah it's the place where officer cadets go for NS. Which means those who attain good grades for their A levels.
AND I WAS AMAZED. Like wow! There's gonna be buffet for all 3 meals everyday, there's a nice cosy library, we'll have time to study, we can go gym and we'll have hardcore physical training (haha when I finish I'll be like, ten seconds faster LOL) and we only share our rooms with another guy and there'll be COMPUTERS in the room! Like really wow. And there are so many facilities that we can use and the whole place is just CLEAN. Officer cadet haha oh man can't wait for NS! I'll have a nice life. And run faster faster.
Haha. By then it was rather late already haha so we went back to the hotel and NDP was already halfway through on the tv! But it was really late already and we hadn't had our dinner so yeah we walked across to Parkway Parade. And before dinner we were browsing through Best Denki for electrical stuff.
And it happened. Right there in front of my eyes. Like how sad I'm watching the national annual moment from the gazillion tv sets in best denki alone and hungry.

Then came dinner and we walked around a little more and soon we went back to the room. Before sleeping I just dug out all my SS stuff and did some planning just right there on my bed haha!

THURSDAY
And yeah I slept. Woke up feeling real cold and real hungry and then I remembered today's the megalympics yay! And yeah I went to Hans opposite the hotel and ate and ate till I was stuffed. In a few hours time I'd be running like many events. 100m, 4x400m, 1500m medley, Shot Put (haha!)
And I reached Serangoon stadium later in the day. Somehow it's real nice to be around track and stadiums almost every other day. Haha every day you see a flash of red dust and fast speed. Haha one day I shall attempt to see all the stadiums in Singapore or something.

Haha turns out in the end they had enough runners and throwers for the 4x400m and Shot Put so ya I didn't need to participate. They cancelled the 1500m medley so I only had 100m left. Hahaha I came in second for 100m :D

It was a nice day. Haha today was rather quiet. I can't think of much anymore.
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Hmm I'm back but photobucket is down so I guess I shall just leave my two-day post for tomorrow. Life's been interesting! Haha I've been rather happy I guess.
I need to rush social studies. And tomorrow I have this freaking big gap between my module lesson and my training. Like a 5-hour gap in which I'll stone and die or something haha.
Till tomorrow yay.
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Haha today school officially started at 9.25. It was rather interesting, well the sec ones had the chance to attend the formal ceremony going on at the main block and I was there to catch it until about 10.30. And it was cool.

At the atrium there were further exhibits and stuff and artworks done by juniors and all that. Looked pretty fun but I guess I didn't experience much of the fun.

The sec ones were all over the front main block observing the ceremony even from the third floor to all the way below and beyond. Haha it was rather intimidating somehow having one whole cohort beam down at you while you're facing the main block head on.

Maybe it would have been a nice day but I caught some serious flu and mdm saripah allowed me to rest in her classroom. Oh well of all days I fall horribly sick today. After school and after a little few meetings I went to catch The Lakehouse. Haha it's a really sweet movie! The first part was rather complicating especially if you don't know a single bit about the movie (well I myself thought and heard from my dad that it was some horror movie lol) but as the movie draws to a close it's really impacting and touching. Well such is the essence of time manipulation I think it's a seriously great concept.
Happy National Day tomorrow! Haha tomorrow I might not post anything. Parents booked one night's hotel stay at the Century Roxy Hotel and I'll only be back home on Thursday night. Unless I manage to get computer time there haha.
I crave.
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Today's the first day of the DMPs and basically, for the very first module the whole place was a mess of masses of sec3s and sec4s running around trying to find their classrooms haha. It was quite a funny sight.

I'm too tired to blog much. Haha training was good.
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It's a very usual sunday morning. I hit the snooze at 7.30am and sleep till 10 plus and now I'm groaning away but there's still a lot of work to complete. But oh well here goes this big rush to finish work today.
I don't think I can go to j8 for linan and ruiyong's service learning project thingy. Sorry guys but I guess I'm like kept stuck at home. Now now, apart from all the work there're like TONS of clutter to clear and sort out. As in really. My school bag itself has about three big stacks of unsorted worksheets, notes, drawings, assignments and tests and whatever. Everytime we're supposed to take out something during lessons I'll have to start with the first big stack and search away piece by piece. If I'm lucky I'll hit the jackpot a few pieces of paper into the stack but there was once I went through all three and found the worksheet lying at the very very last bottom yay.
Well you say I must be lying. Dig this!

One stack is in a folder, another stack is behind it, and the last stack is behind the second one and they're separated by my philo file. Ok somehow it's stupid to show off the things I put in my bag.
But yeah, it's a usual random sunday morning. :D
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Haha was planning to work on stuff today afternoon. Then ruiyong smsed and asked if I could go play lan with the cross country guys for road relay celebrations or something haha. Then at first I couldn't but then eventually wriggled my way so I could! Yeah and then went to Paradiz centre to meet them.
Haha we dished it out on dota counterstrike quake4 nfs:mostwanted fifa06! Then went into the arcade just next door and played initialD timecrisis and daytona! Haha we were wildly game-hopping and ruiyong stuck himself to this lousy soccer game at the last minute and played the same coin-went-in-but-nothing-happened game with the arcade uncle again HAHA.
Oh well life's been fun. Now work.
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I tell you, yesterday was one really weird hell of a day haha.
It wasn't really eventful until after school when I went for my bio prac makeup. Hmm now I realise it's like very very enticing to boil the test-tubes containing the yeast solution haha! The test-tubes are just there and without thinking I'd just pick them and boil them. Okay shan't say any further.
Then after a while of rushing to complete my chinese overdue homework (from one degree) I went for the RI vs HCI soccer match! Well it was nice. And I say, with all the renovations going on here in school, HCI's campus owns us upside down. Okay maybe like always. Their land space is jawdropping.
The stadium steps were huge and Yuda here was waving the flag. What a fun flag.

And the thing is their track is so nice and well upkept! The field's grass is so even. And the whole track area is really really huge. And what does RI have? NO TRACK. I mean, we let our track rot for 15 years on end and then finally scrap it and cite reasons being we can use the RJC track for training. Well excuse me, training there would be okay and I have no objections and I"m totally fine with it but when you want to self-train or just want to do a little run on the track it's almost impossible. RJC's using the track all the time and we aren't really welcome. Like ok whatever scrap the track scrap the track.
And when they were about to start it was an intense moment. We had already done some cheers and now's the moment which in a few moments later they would be kicking off.

And at that very special moment, THE CROSS COUNTRY GUYS CALLED and said that they don't have enough runners for the Ngee Ann Polytechnic Road Relay and they need me to run for them. And I was like staring at the soccer match and looking at the time and actually realised HCI wasn't too far from NAP and so. There went the huge amazing race there. Thanks Mr Teo for lending me money to take cab. Haha and eventually I reached the polytechnic track before they all did.
Eh it was really a shocking last-minute thing and I was freaking out and feeling unprepared to run. Well I was lucky because I had PE earlier in the day so I had my PE attire and I had my running shoes. If not I couldn't do so at all. Haha running in prefects shirt long pants and leather office shoes yay haha. And yeah I was stoning, freaking out, freaking out.
Haha dig this. One moment I was facing a huge stadium track in brilliant red and the next moment I'm facing a compressed little sports complex with a track in beautiful blue! Hahaha.


And so we all got ready and I got myself informed about the road relay. Basically the whole race is a relay of 7 runners, and each runner would run about 1.2km on average. Each runner would run a little distance on the blue track, then leave it and circle one round around the polytechnic campus, then come back again and run a little round the track again. Haha and guess what I was the last runner for my team. Cho Han didn't want to run the last bit. So yeah my team was um, Norman Shikai YeongYang Wilbert Timo ChoHan Me. Yeah haha.
And guess what. Wth we came in first and we earned a freaking gold medal. LIKE WTH GOLD MEDAL AN INTERSCHOOL GOLD MEDAL! Like omg if I didn't have PE on that day I wouldn't have run! Like omg if I wasn't at HCI before that I wouldn't have run! If I didn't want to go run I wouldn't have run! And all along my sprinting life I've never gotten an interschool medal and here I am earning a gold medal in my first rather crosscountry-ish race. Haha SPRINTS! 400m will own!
And here we are, champions of the day. All 3 teams came in top five, first third and fifth.

GOLD MEDAL HAHA A GOLD MEDALL.

Haha well I guess by the time they handed the baton to me, the lead was so great so even if I screwed up (which maybe I might have done so) I'd win gold already. Haha thanks so much guys. Shikai gave us that horribly ownage lead and the rest all pulled the gap wide open. Haha and there I was making up for the shortage of runners and feeling good haha :D We earned ourselves a gold medal and a Team Singapore goodie bag! Containing team singapore posters postitnotes notebooks and whatever stuff. Haha and oh everyone also got this free NAP shoebag containing notebooks deepheat water biscuits and stuff. It was really fun.
Then after the run I had to rush back to HCI immediately because there was this councillor-prefects dinner and I was supposed to turn up for it so yeah I quickly made my way back. The taxi fare was a killer. Haha and when I left for NAP I was carrying a sling bag and a shoebag. Now I return to HCI with a much heavier sling bag, TWO shoebags, a team singapore paper bag. Haha yeah was lugging those stuff all about. And yeah the dinner was great. Talked to Yuan Chang the council president and I remembered I ran the 400m next to him during the junior meet. Haha so pro pls.
And after the dinner I took a little run / walk around the HCI track! It's really nice and at night the wind just blows so strongly. And here's the hci 'clocktower' which is like beautifully lit up and nice.

After a while I left home already. Yup. Hell of a day, really haha! GOLD.
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