Are you ready for 2013?

Have you watched the documentary film on Netflix called Vegucated? If you haven't I definitely encourage you to watch it. It may just give you a whole new look into your diet habits and where you get your food, meat namely. I personally have grown up eating most meats but prefer leaner meats like chicken and the occasional salmon dinner. After watching this film though, I have definitely taken a step back and am now thinking twice before I bring my fork and knife together to take a good solid bite of animal. Not to say that eating meat is wrong or anything...I do still eat it, however I think in general most people would say that they like to know where their food comes from. Most would say that they would like to eat healthier at the start of every new year. So here's my challenge for myself and my family and I hope you join in with yours.

Whether you are just looking to eat better or add a few more veggies onto your plate- I'm going vegan for 31 days, starting January 1rst. Please join us. Support is key in success, we can all vouch for that.
Many frown upon the idea of going meatless due to the fact that they have been raised eating meat. Meat that takes up more then half their plate. Many think that becoming a vegetarian or vegan is too restrictive and the food won't taste good. Heck I thought that. Well, my in-laws went vegan almost a year ago and opened my eyes to a world of GOOD plant based foods that I never dreamed would be satisfying and possible on one plate. Although I tasted many good dishes from them, I haven't made any real moves towards changing my personal eating habits. 1- being because I have always viewed myself as a "healthy" eater. 2-I am not over weight (my belly and thighs scream differently- but I'm pregnant...I have a GREAT excuse for now) (The ultra sound tech says, "You are very easy to scan, YOU are what normal is supposed to look like. *She got brownie points that day. Ha!) Okay back on topic- 3 I just didn't know if vegan was for me. Well after watching this documentary film about three people who are your ultimate MEAT eaters that all took on the challenge for the movie to explore becoming vegan and see the reality of the food system that the GIANTS control, shedding light on the twisted games they play knowing that those choices could cost us and our families in the end. Food should be protected and handled properly, before & after the slaughtering begins. So in conclusion to my "lesson of thought" today, watch the movie if you can and join me in the forces to eating more veggies and trying out the vegan lifestyle for 31 days. I will post meal menus for my week if that helps so that it takes the work out for you to search for those good meals. Most of which I have already tried and can say, "They are divine! and soo filling!". If you'd like more support  in this try checking out a good friend of mine who has also decided to take on the challenge (We chatted about this movie after I freaked out and told her to watch it..lol Then we decided to try the challenge) you can find Brittany by clicking on the link and see what she is up to in the vegan way.  (check out many other thought provoking docs on netflix too..."Forks over knives", "Pregnant in america","The beautiful truth", "The vaccine war", "Bag it", & "Chemercial: Redefining clean for a new generation".    

So I also wanted to take a moment and say something else and share some baby buys.
Can you believe 2013 is just days away? I feel like in a sense this year has taken forever. Dragging on for every painstaking second but looking back, its really gone fast. Here I sit pregnant with my rainbow who now only has 58 days til full term and has no longer that the first week of march to cook! I can't believe that the time is arriving to meet my sweet lil Joshua. I also look at this time and mourn a little bit...TanaLee isn't here. There is that gaping hole staring me back in the face. Time that has moved forward even when she isn't here. Time I can never get back. But I refuse to allow her to be forgotten. Joshua will grow up knowing that his big sister was here and made the hubs and I change for the better. We have drawn closer together as a unit and grown up as individuals for the purpose of the greater good, teaching others to LOVE stronger. Holding out hope that one day, loss will be unheard of and people will appreciate the life they have and those they share it with. Joshua now has two outfits that show that he is NOT our first baby...these outfits beg for Tanalee's name and life to be brought up. Not something to shy away from or be burdened to talk about. She was and is and always will be my daughter and first lovely child.

***If your interested in Cloth Diapering please feel free to ask me or refer to these three sites for info, coupons ect. Brittany's Vlog or Thanksmama or lastly Kelly's closet. ***

Yes, we are cloth diapering! Here's my stash so far.
Three sets of lil joey's All in 1 and four KaWaii baby with inserts.  

My Breast pump! Joshua's first suit, dino onesies, some footwear, cute bibs,
 Dr. Suess's, "Do you like green eggs & ham?" (the book is just some of the inspiration for my baby shower coming up!) 

Little Brother onesies to tell the world that Joshua is our precious second born. :)
The grey one is the outfit we plan to have him sport after leaving the hospital. The owl blanket is just an awesome buy I got last night at Babies-R-Us...cute huh?

What will 2013 bring? Time will only tell. Let's Blog on shall we?

Uncharted territory -breast pump- latest update

*written on 12/13/12, please excuse the fact that these pictures were taken today 12/17/12 and not back on 12/13/12 when this post was written but my camera needed new batteries...lol oh and yeah your looking at a just woke up photo op b/c I needed to update the blog with recent belly shots! So excuse the no makeup still in pj's look....just be happy my hair is some what fixed. :) *

Weeks in the nest: 26, 3 days (74 days to go til term!)

Pictures from 12/17/12 @ 27 weeks

Maternity clothes: Basically the only clothes I can wear at this point. Even some of my non-maternity tops show skin now- just long waist shirts still work. :)  *Grow Joshua, grow!*

Stretch marks: None yet, I have been using a great lotion from a local natural store- who knows if its really played a role. People tell me for being so far along I'm "small" or just gaining all baby. Ha! They haven't seen my mirror here at home that reveals so much fat ect growing around my legs ect. Plus Joshua is ahead on the growth chart. :)

Sleep: Hmm...a hard one to comment on. I get up at least twice in my night to have a potty break and usually by the second time up I struggle to get back to sleep. I need a pregnancy pillow but they are so darn expensive and in the next few weeks I probably wouldn't get much help from one anyway. ;p

Best moment this week: I'd say yesterdays Dr. Appointment was an all time great one. One for the books.
I will comment on why in a minute.

Food cravings: Its been sugary things lately...funny since most of this pregnancy sugar made me want to gag. I have been loving starbursts candy, Ghirardelli- milk chocolate peppermint bark, apple sauce, anything Italian...this one isn't new since I have always loved Italian cuisine.

Belly button: Flat? Its not in or out. Crazy thing is, if i'm in a flat position and then try sitting up on my own my middle belly (belly button area) will almost go cone shaped...lol freaks me out every time. blah.

Looking forward to: Getting my breast pump- Getting to 30 weeks so that my family feels safe enough to start planning Joshua's baby shower (details on that party will come once the real planning begins).

Okay so I promised I would talk about why yesterdays appointment was so fab!

So just a second ago I mentioned the breast pump...okay. Did you know that you may be able to get a breast pump for free or little cost to you through your health insurance? I didn't. I was reading a random forum and some women mentioned this...saying that all she had to do was get a Dr's prescription and bam she got one through her insurance. I decided to ask my Dr about this and come to find out, its TRUE. Plus I didn't have to wait until delivery day to place my order. So I called my insurance before leaving the clinic to see if I had this benefit. Come to find out, it wasn't covered through my maternity portion of insurance but was if I did what they call "Medical equipment claim" *usually used for things like a wheel chair ect*. My insurance says that as long as the hospital clinic puts in the order from the doctor, they could order it, and my insurance would pay 80% of the cost!!!! (That being because I had met my deductible) Thank you expensive medical cost to see a OB! Oh and its not just a crappy cheap end pump either...because its ordered from the hospital clinic it comes from where they get their medical equipment so its just under the hospital grade pumps. (Hospital grade pumps can't be sold to women like you and I apparently). I am getting a nice Medela brand pump with lots of extras...I only have to pay something like $40 out of pocket. Fantastic, right? Pumps are upwards of $300+ depending on brand and where you go. So those of you who don't have a breast pump and want one or are looking to breast feed, I encourage you to call your insurance you may find out its covered. :) If it's not there is still hope. You can go to the lactation department in the hospital that you plan to deliver ect and they can sell you one and set up payment plans...I believe they can even give you a discount in some areas because its not covered my your insurance. :) Happy pumping! lol

The other reason yesterdays appointment was so grand was because my urine dip was still clear of signs of preeclampsia and my blood pressure was even better then it had been in a while...lower...not that my BP and been out of the norm or anything but just lower. My Dr. believes my eating and exercising habits are really playing a key role in why things are looking so well at this point.  I am beaming because of such great reports. :) My next appointment is scheduled  to do the dreaded glucose screening (yucky sugar drink) and a growth ultrasound. Any guesses to how much Joshua will approx. weigh? Last time he was measured if you'll recall he was in the 60% and weighed nearly 2 lbs! Let's see how much he's changed huh?

Lastly,
I got a sweet new set of outfits (onsies) for my lil guy to sport.

til next time-        

24 weeks in, almost there!

I cannot believe that I'm here.

24 weeks.

HERE.

The very point in pregnancy that in 2009 I was hospitalized for Preeclampsia.
The point in my life when everything would change.

How am I doing/dealing?

I had my 24 week appointment yesterday. I was of course a nervous wreck thinking that this appointment was going to be when the crap hits the fan and I would be hospitalized once again in my journey to becoming a mother for the 2nd time. To my surprise, the appointment revealed a much better outcome.
It started with a growth ultrasound that showed baby Joshua is growing nicely. In fact he is estimated to weigh nearly 2 lbs! That weight is typical for a 26-27 weeker. So I'd like to say that he is doing well and is healthy as an ox at this point. :) He is measuring on the charts to be in the 60th percentile. So I couldn't be happier. His fluid was measuring at a 10..I'm not sure what it was last time but at least we are still in healthy/normal range.
After the ultrasound I had the OB appointment. My doctor came in all smiles, she told me that my urine dip was free of protein at this point so Preeclampsia is not in view. She was very happy to say that my lil boy is looking good and that I am not doing to bad myself. Blood pressures are "perfect". She had no real complaints except for my laziness and not working out like I've been repeatedly admonished to do. So I have had a new vigor and started the 30 minute sweat session at the gym officially yesterday. We shall see how well I do. All in all, baby and I are doing swell. I can't complain and I'm thrilled to think that I am so close to the finish line already. Crazy- next week will be the very week (pregnancy week not literal week in terms of when) three years ago that TanaLee was born. (11/13/09- this date has passed but I'm refering to being at 25 weeks) Hopefully next week Joshua will still be cooking and be in no rush to leave his Uterus hotel. Just a side note- He's been in the breech position for a while now...he seems to like his head squished in between his placenta and my uterine wall. I like to think he just likes having a pillow of sorts. lol  Oh and his heartrate yesterday was in the 160's. Good lil man of mine...being all happy and healthy. lol

As for me,

Maternity clothes: Yep. Still rocking the clothes that showcase this guy.

Stretch marks: No. Thank goodness. I'm not confident that I will stay this "blessed", but I make a habit these days to rubb on the lotion after a good scrub in the shower.

Sleep: Its been decent. I toss a lot during the night. Often shifting a pillow in between my legs after switching sides. But I can't complain. Still getting some.

Best moment this week: A story of crying over stupid things is going in the books. Let's just say that hormones make you cry over the darnedest things...cookies in my case. lol

Food cravings: Still a slab of meat every once in a while. But yeah cookies are the new craze. Odd since this entire pregnancy I really haven't wanted sweets. I do only want one or two...so its not a bad craving.

Belly button: It has turned virtually flat. Very little of a indention...so no lint..lol

Looking forward to: EVERYTHING. lol I'm dreaming up my future days with Joshua. I'm looking forward to my hopes of one day in late February of snuggling him as I'm wheeled back to recovery...then sharing his sweetness with the rest of our anxious and excited relatives. Oh what a day that would be.

The finish line is in view....lets take a deep breathe and get there

**will update with pictures/belly shots later today...gotta run now but check back tonight**

L&D scare and cloth diapering...

Starting with the more pressing story...

Yesterday around 1pm I started to notice a cramping feeling in my lower abdomen. This went on for a while, not coming and going but a continuous cramp. Around 4pm I decided that it was completely out of the norm for me and called Labor & delivery. Of course I told them that this feeling could be from a number of things including the fact that Joshua had been moving like crazy for several hours- rolling from one side to the other of my stomach. After talking with my OB's on-call fill in we determined it was safe for me to wait it out for a few more hours and that I should try and stay off my feet during that time. ( Funny thing was, I had off my feet for most of the day playing couch potato aside from making a pie.) Yeah, I am quite the slacker these days in house work. HA!
So around 7pm I decided, "Hey, bathrooms down the hall.Why don't you go use it?" When I got up to go, my cramping feeling really took a toll as I stood up and actually hurt bad enough that I was waddling quite dramatically to use the potty. After a waddle back to the couch I dialed L&D once more but this time with the decision to go in. *Hubs has to work today* so he couldn't go with me and was convinced I was fine anyway. (I didn't have any clear flags up except the cramping) My mom decided to be my right hand since she did not work the next day and was happy to come pick me up and assist me in the journey to L&D. Upon arriving I was sent to a room to change and give a sample of urine. After changing into those lovely hospital gowns I parked myself on the bed while the nurse was chatting it up with me and taking my vitals. My blood pressure was 138/83! Much higher than my norm- 120/74. So of course through my blabbing excuses for the change I was thinking about Preeclampsia. After all I am just three days from being 24 weeks which is exactly the week I was admitted into the hospital and eventually diagnosed with that awful, confusing "disease" that took my baby girl from my womb to soon. The nurse left to get me some ice water and to chat with the doctor that would be in shortly. When she returned she informed me that things were looking normal and that I would most likely be leaving shortly. The doctor came in and told me my urine sample was very normal with no sign of protein or abnormal anything. What a relief ya'll! Here I had my mind spinning about possible preeclampsia and have the crap hit the fan right now. The doctor did want to check my cervix even though the monitors weren't picking up any contractions. Let me just say that my cervix is fine and I didn't know it was possible for it to be sooo very far away when a doctor examines. Ouch! Shortly there after I was released with everyone chalking this up to be round ligament pain & or baby just being in a weird position. I left feeling happy that nothing serious was happening but over dramatic for going in at all. I had to keep telling myself, "You would not have slept a wink had you not gone in." I guess that's what you get when you suffered loss, your more hyper sensitive and aware to any little thing even if its harmless. There is no guilt for keeping my lil guy safe...even if it embarrassed me. Here's to safe babies in the womb and taking it like a champ...lol

Sample of diapers I purchased :)

Above photo is the lil joey's & this photo is the kawaii brand

Okay so ya'll know it was black Friday yesterday- I don't get all excited over it anymore when half the time the deals really aren't all they seem to be. So you won't see me standing in line at 3am waiting for the wide doors to swing open. However I have been venturing into the world of cloth diapering over the last few months and what change there has been in this way of diapering...no more dish-like cloths with safety pins...well you can still do it that way but there are more sophisticated options out there. They are so expensive but save you a ton once the investment is made, extra points for keeping one less diaper in the landfill. So back to the black Friday bit- Sales were GREAT for cloth diaper-ers. You could get top notch brands for little out of your pocket in comparison to normal prices. I got some help from my good friend from over at Naturallythriftymom. She and I have been talking about getting my stash started since the word pregnant came out of my mouth but I was a slacker and took forever...plus getting started is daunting and overwhelming. After she moved out of state we knew we'd be skyping for assisting me with the shopping. Oh and did I mention that there was a time when I was very against cloth diapering? lol I gave her a hard time when she revealed she would try it with her firstborn. I wasn't having any of it. But she CONVERTED me along with the help of a documentary I watched on netflix about plastic called "Bag it". I would highly recommend it for view if you haven't already seen it-even if you aren't into cloth diapering...in fact its more about how much plastic we consume and use.  :) Happy to say now I appreciate the option to go more GREEN. Oh yeah back to the black Friday diaper sale...I started out slow this time around and purchased two sets of "lil joey's" and two diapers from Kawaii, so a total of 6 diapers at only $66.98. This may seem steep in cost but really I walked away with a deal. I had a 15% off my entire purchase with free shipping since my order was over $60. So yes, I am happy to have started my stash and will add more as the money is saved away. Kelly's Closet is a great site for savings and free gifts ect when the black Friday sales are over. That site often has coupon codes ect that will drop your order price by a lot and often puts nice items on sale...its like the khols of online diaper shopping. So all in all I am thrilled with my stash being started and hope to grow it with time..perfect investment. Not so happy about my L&D visit last night as I'd rather not be worried that the crap hit the fan. But overall happy- baby is still cooking and one day hopefully in late February I will dress him in cute, chemical free, earth friendly diapers watching him thrive and grow.

Until next time on the adventures of crazy :)         

Baby buys and more

So I think I'll start off with the best thing to talk about and gradually go into the less happy topics.

Today hubs and I went to shop for some baby clothes since my "nesting" feeling has really begun to kick in...kinda early right? Well we scored some super cute stuff and saved about $20 bucks with an awesome sale and coupon combo! Ready to see what we got? Here is the mother load photo dump of my amazing deal. (Purchased at Carters Outlet)

As of right now the set of outfits in the middle are being considered for a coming home outfit. 

up-close of the cute bib that goes to the outfit of choice

Look at that whale! I love the bright blue color!

Hubs is supper proud & excited to show off his lil boy in this !

The fire truck shirt was a last minute find and I thought it looked cute with the cargo's.  

What's with me and the half obsessive monster clothes? Cute spot for a monster though!

The strongest contender for going home outfit out of the three piece set shown above.

Another good topic is my latest Dr. Appointment- well it depends how you see the world of glasses half full or empty. I'm gonna say my glass is half full. :)
So this last Wednesday I had an appointment that went something like this.

1. Ultrasound

2. Wait for "Dr." to come back in with the results of growth ultrasound

3. Panic due to Dr coming in saying we needed the V-scan instead of the normal belly "due to baby being in the breech position."

4. Wait long minutes as unprofessional, less experienced and might I add less than friendly tech scanned my uterus for extended measurements and views of my cervix and baby inside.

5. Tech leaves to retrieve Dr. - I have a melt down (Ugly cry, & blaming myself for a crappy body) because the tech wasn't saying much and for what I could see she was having difficulty getting her images and fluid didn't appear to be abundant.

6. Dr comes in and says in the most reassuring way that he can, our scan today is not so perfect but that everything is fine. The baby appears to be in the 50 something % (which i'm told is good) but with less fluid levels then they would like...not dangerously low but less than expected at that point (22 wks).

7. Even with assurances from the Ultrasound Dr that we are okay...I leave feeling like he's lying to me or something because he was sending us to see a geneticist we've been "working" with.

8. Meet with our geneticist to talk about results- she quickly dismisses any concern from scan and tells us that really we have no need to worry at this point. She tells me that my doctor, who I do agree would tell me if there was reason for alarm, just said the scan looked great and that there was nothing to stress over.

9. I have one last outburst in tears, talking about how much I need this baby and I have to do something to keep him thriving. How I have just really started to enjoy this pregnancy and then the crap hits the fan.

10. My OB comes in and like the others tells me that she would never be so ridiculous and act like this baby was in danger unless there was a real reason. She was even confident enough to add that she feels Joshua is really thriving and that I have done everything right to give this baby the best chances. She even went as far as to say, " I cannot predict the future, but I believe you'll make it beyond your 25 week mark". After much talk I finally started to relax and just give my heart a rest.  We finish the appointment with topics of normal procedure for a planned c-section, me needing to work out more and lastly that she would like to see me in another two weeks. We walk out feeling a little more at ease and go home with a half smile on our face.

The most ugly truth to talk about-

TanaLee is 3! I can't believe she's 3... November 13th came and went and I feel a bit unsure about it.
For starters, I have a toddler yet don't have one. Don't have a clue as to what it would be really like to have one.
 I'm pregnant with her brother and have the weirdest feeling going through this month...passing the 13th and still being pregnant and then coming to the conclusion that I am two days from being 23 weeks- two weeks difference of when I had TanaLee. It all just feels so unreal. My firstborn has been away and out of my aching arms for far too long and I am about to see the same point I was in for pregnancy with her. The farthest I have ever made it feeling baby kicks and all. I am so grateful for Joshua and want him with all of my being. I love the little person he is becoming. I'm learning his sleep schedule and changing everyday my likes and dislikes in his name. (hormones lol :) ) Is it wrong that I desire her still? I'm jealous of what I don't have...I have yet to have a living baby with me at home. This pregnancy is no guarantee of a baby healthy in my arms and yet I still LONG for that promise. These emotions so powerful and leave me kneeling in prayer and thought often. Let's just hope the best right? Wish it were that simple huh?

We eternally love both our children- Forever and ever our love wraps them in tight. Happy times ahead- just one step at a time, one foot before the other and at the end is our hope of a rainbow.

Our gender reveal for Joshua!

Friday November 2, 2012 I through a celebration of my growing rainbow.

It couldn't have come any more timely since tragedy stuck for my friends and family just a week before. I started the day off getting last minute items for the party.(I.E: balloons & perishable foods) Then I headed over to my in-laws house were the party would be hosted to set up. As I looked around the room I saw my vision of what this day would be like coming to life. (I have been wanted to do this type of party since before hubs and I started TTC'n)

Our theme was "What's it gonna Bee?" So black and yellow and honey bumble bees were key. I have to say that this was not easy to find/or make this time of year since Halloween was standing on the steps of my party time frame. I decided after long searches, to reveal the gender and name of this rainbow by playing a game instead of the now overly done cutting the cake gag. I love games so this was way more my style. The game involved putting one block with a number and letter on either side in a box and then handing the boxes out to the crowd. My blocks for example spelled out: B-A-B-Y  J-O-S-H-U-A with a number on the back of each one so B=1 ect.

Finished Bee box....each had their own unique face 

Letter side

Just some of the details

I put all of the best ultrasound pictures on display. 

Due to privacy for ones at the party I wont post pictures of the crowd or make the above picture larger for relatives peace of mind.

Only part of the food...lots more was added!

It took only a few moments for my friends and family to take a look into their boxes to find the block neatly wrapped in blue & pink tissue paper and realize they needed to share what they had with someone else...then lining the coffee table with number side up to figure out what it was. Reactions were priceless and better than I expected. Everything went off without a hitch- people were social and eating and enjoying the baby bliss with me. My dear sis'n'law Kim made a beautiful cake for the celebration, tasting scrumptious despite the wrap that Gluten free food has. (She's a pro at good gluten free) Funny thing was although the gender was top secret she managed to bake a cake perfect for the occasion since the B is a BOY and Blue is for Boyish. She did this by total accident. :) Deep down I think she just knew.

After a short break after the reveal to socialize we decided to keep the party going with the best game ever- Catch Phrase! So much fun and even the kids could join in. We shared a lot of laughs and excitement for our hope we hold so strong. Here's to a great party and good love shown that night....memories I hope to share with my lil man someday.

For now he's tucked gently in a warm place within growing ever stronger and you know....It just feels good.
I'm actually hopeful with joy and not heavy with fear today.

20 Weeks!!! how time has flown!

***Updated with current belly shots***

Weeks in the nest: 20!

Steady growing belly. Taken 10/29/12

Maternity clothes: Yep! The clothes that have been loaned to me are starting to fit well or fit snug...lol Worried I am gonna loose my options that I already have. :)

Stretch marks: Not yet. My belly is growing slow enough or my genes are good that they are not present yet.

Sleep: Hasn't been the best lately...I've been grieving the loss of a close friend so dreams have turned into mini nightmares and sadness for this friend. I think I'm on the mend as I have found I do take lots of cat naps through out the day.

Best moment of the week: Finding out the gender of this baby!

What's it gonna bee??

Yep you see that right! We are having ourselves a baby BOY! I will reveal the name after my gender/name reveal party this Friday.

Food cravings:  So far this entire pregnancy I have craved MEAT...like cow meat...lol
Normally I don't eat red meat very often as I prefer lean meats like chicken and fish. Well this lil' man wants his RIBS, STEAK, BURGERS and side it with a Caesar salad and some times wants sugar treats like his daddy.

Belly button in or out: I'm gonna say its beginning to look half and half.

Looking forward to: My next OB appointment to see baby boy on the big screen again. Love that! Also buying things for him, I have only bought one thing for him since finding out that this baby is a he. The reason for this is as many of you have experienced- fear. I allowed myself to celebrate the gender and buy one thing for now...hopefully more to come. Here is what it is-

Soo cute! Buttons have anchors on them.

Cute right? I can picture him wearing this around town with me but also out to our meetings or telling others about our great God Jehovah! So adorable and appropriate for most occasions. :)

Okay now for some good medical news from my last OB appointment. We learned during my 20 week ultrasound that the umbilical cord is CENTERED where it should be on placenta!!!! (Recall TanaLee's was off to the side and restricted nutrition ect) Also the placenta looks to be functioning properly at this point. :)
Baby boy was looking to be in the 98% in growth! We are slightly worried about fluid levels...they are not dangerously low but we feel he should have a bit more (Have you or anyone you know experienced this?)...hence the ultrasound at my next appointment. My Dr doesn't seemed to be too worried about either of us at this point- She is a high risk OB and let me just tell you that she is NOT afraid to tell you how it is even if it puts fear in the forefront. So I am trying to trust her judgement and not worry about the fluid levels at this point...the pockets they measure could have been off too due to him squishing himself in between the placenta and my uterus wall. A side note to add, I have been grieving the loss of a close friend (mentioned above) and so my fluid intake was NOT good as well as the fact that my appetite was failing me during that first week of terrible news. Since then I have been focusing on my water intake and eating more...Dr says this should help the amniotic fluid too. Otherwise Dr is very happy with my progress and we are moving forward on this train. After my next appointment this upcoming month I will be seen every two weeks and then sometime around 30 weeks I will be seen weekly. This is subject to change if my vitals ect change drastically. Speaking of my blood pressures have been hanging around 120/78 which isn't far from my non pregnant 115/78 to 118/72.

Next to report, movement has been amazing! Baby boy moves quite a bit these days, sometimes the movements have been so big that it feels like someone poking me with a finger...like my arm recently was moved from its position on my lower abdomen. Movement for the most part is down around my scar (2-3 inches from belly button region) but more recently I have felt movement closer to my belly button so about 1/2 an inch to 1 inch from that region.

I think that's it for now on updates...so sorry that it's taken this long...I have had a lot going on and grieving on top of that has made for a slow desire to blog ect. But non the less I feel I am on the mend and can get back to that blogging I did before. :) See ya soon!

Long over due!

I am so sorry for taking a million years to post this. Life has changed so much for me since the test read positive. Today I will fill you in- FINALLY.

Weeks in the nest: 16, 4 days. ( I know...I should have posted forever ago...)

Weight gain: At my last prenatal appointment I had from beginning to that point, almost 5 lbs!

Maternity clothes: Yes. Mostly just bottoms still but shirts are slowly adding on too! :)

Stretch marks: Nope. Time will only tell- I am growing so much faster this time!

Sleep: Well, I do get some. Just not like I used to. My body has a clock that says, "lights out, its 8 o'clock", & "You over slept you dummy, its 7 am already". So in other words I toss and turn trying to find comfort, only to find its time to get up because its daylight now. lol

Best moment this week: Sleeping in til 8 am yesterday since hubs was off and made for a good body pillow. :-).
Movement: Yes! I am finally feeling little flutters from this little miracle. They are usually far and few in between but as time goes on I feel it all increasing. :-)

Food cravings: Not too much still. I did have a thing for waffles for a while. Also sandwiches with melted cheese. But nothing to out of my normal eating habits. I do notice that I prefer not to eat things too greasy because I pay back big time in heart burn later.

Belly button in or out: In...I wonder if it will stay that way once I get bigger....? (not a real question folks!)

Looking forward to: My 20 week scan! This will provide all sorts of answers to our questions about the placenta in this pregnancy and tell us a gender!!!!! I will post about this scan within a reasonable time as I know the anticipation will kill you guys- plus we will play the What's it gonna be? game in today's post. For those who are curious my scan will be on October 24th, so look out for a post update the following work week. I will include pictures and details of the Gender reveal party I will be throwing that Friday. (Pictures and such)

So as mentioned above we will play the What's it gonna be game today, lets get you started with some details about this pregnancy thus far..(you can judge the wives tales, and guess in a comment below in what you think I am having.)

1. I am not nearly as sick this pregnancy. (TMI- I have only had a true vomit spell twice)

2. I have actually gained weight so far instead of loose it.

3. I am more geared towards salty then sweets this time.

4. I appear to be carrying low.

5. Chinese gender chart on Thebump.com says, "Its a girl".

6. My face has broken out like crazy since conception and has yet to show a true clearing.

Do you have it figured out yet? What's your guess, I'll give you pictures to see too if that will help in your decision making. To make this twice the fun, why not add in what you think we will name this bun in the oven?

Girl names: 

1. Hannah

2. Aubrey

3. Skyler

4. Natalie

Boy names:

1. Aaron

2. Brandon

3. Ryan

4. Joshua

Taken in 5th week- so from this to: below 

Taken at 16 wks, 4 days today.

Happy guessing- Don't forget to post a comment with your guess...are ya on the PINK team or the Blue team?

The coolest thing ever!!!

This weekend has been a relaxing and fun time for hubs and I. We just mostly laid around and did what I felt was one of the coolest "Art" foods since well, ever!

So what was this Art? It was cake- from a box but still...I was totally experimenting with the coolest idea for us BLM momma's! A RAINBOW CAKE. Because I wasn't sure of what I was doing and I didn't want to have to throw out a huge cake I just did one round cake. No double layer. :-(

Excuse the crumbly cake...it was an experiment! lol

Isn't she pretty? Celebrating a rainbow into 14 wks tomorrow! 

I have decided that with a baby shower I pray for I really do hope to have a cake like this but fancier since a  BIG party and all. To have guests cut open a surprise like this though... definitely opens the way for fun conversation.

After ultimately needing to stop working in order to insure this baby isn't pushed over the limit this weekend was exactly what I needed. Hubs and I watched the horrid "CAST AWAY" & "Inception". Both movies that deliver a laugh or some serious mind bending. Other than that we hung steady and lounged.

Don't forget to check out my vlog Clearingsky4Rainbow and subscribe! I need my peeps ya'll. I'm beginning to wonder wither starting it will give me what I was hoping to gain...feedback ect  like I get here but on a grander scale. Let me know if you stop by...hugs~

Felicia

Dare I say, I want to prepare?

As many of you have experienced once finding yourself pregnant after loss, you are just in constant denial and afraid to really allow for real excitement. Let me just say that I am pushing myself to enjoy this pregnancy as I did with my first and try not to deny everything from myself. I started with a simple book entitled, "What makes a rainbow?"  I say it and just knew I had to get it. And now I am happy to say that I have begun to prepare for a gender reveal party for the end of October. 

This book is sooo cute! The first color page includes a Ladybug!
The rainbow ribbon that is slowly revealed is a fun touch too.

I will admit that this is a double fold in emotion for me. First, because I never did this for TanaLee. I just told people and that was that. Secondly, I am actually getting some control by being the one to throw a party. You see, I am a very social person but for the last few years I really haven't had a good reason to full on celebrate. I was robbed of that when TanaLee was born at 25 weeks- giving me no time to have a baby shower or anything for that matter. So to take this and wrap it all up all pretty....We are throwing a "What's it gonna bee?" party for our rainbow! Here are a few photo's of inspiration for me from similar gender reveal themed parties...

I have my own spin in mind on this theme, but it will be some variation of what you see here only...CUTER! You will have to stay tuned for the actual party...Te-hehehe!

*Sneak peak- Some details are, the cake will resemble a hive and include a black bear. My wonderful sis'n'law will be helping me create this vision. The table will be FULL of sweets since this will be after dinner- I mean, who eats cake before dinner?? (Okay I give- I have...but will resist for this party.) That's it....no more about this for now. 

Okay now is time to catch up on how all has been. 

Good. I have recently been experiencing more abdomen ache as I believe this is my uterus pushing everything out of the way for baby to fit in there. I think baby is growing nicely as I have no reason to know or tell otherwise. I am starting to feel the "blessed" period of pregnancy as I reach into my second trimester and not feel so awful. (Not sure this is even real..lol) My next appointment should tell me how much if any weight has been gained. I will also do the second part of my down syndrome testing...more blood work to get the BIG picture...not that this result would change my decision to carry. I can tell you that the first set of test results say good things about this pregnancy thus far. So Yeah....baby is to my knowledge progressing and thriving in my womb and I begin to feel "better" as time gets us through it.  

Feel free to ask questions ect...I feel like I have more to say but can't think all that well at the moment- What do they call this, Prego Brain? lol   

Calling all YouTubers!

*** I like to think of myself as a person who "gets" technology. Well my recent project of technology is a Vlog on YouTube. On this wonderful website you can upload and watch video's at your hearts desire....it however has stumped me. I have created a channel and yet cannot find it or my intro video (that I've made to my knowledge, public) when putting the title/name in search bar. I have done everything I could to figure out the problem and it hasn't been solved. I also cannot figure out how to add that fancy "Subscribe" button next to my user name like so many that I "follow". Can anyone help me out? I really want to make vlogs and post them to YouTube to further connect with mama's. I love the idea of expanding my viewers and touching more with this journey (especially now that a rainbow in on the horizon). So yes, I am calling YouTube savvy ones to help me make this whole thing possible. ***

In other things to mention....

So many of you may be curious, how did I reveal to the hubs this pregnancy?
Click HERE to see. :) (Tried to upload video here but blogger wont do it. :-) *sneak peek of the vlog too!*

Also I haven't truly started belly shots because for 1. Been busy and  2. I'm not showing all that much.
Funny thing about number 2 is this, it seems that I look bigger at different times of the day ect. lol

Report thus far: (Will edit/update later this weekend.):

Weeks in the nest:  12 and 1 day

Weight gain: Not sure since last OB appointment

Maternity clothes: Same as last post

Nausea: It's been getting better- today not so much so I stayed home from work. :-(


So in all, things are moving along but not much just yet to report. Maybe later this week huh?

see you all soon-

Dr...Dr...give me the news!

So you all know by now I am not one to be left in the dark so I will RESEARCH, ASK, AND PICK until I have a satisfying answer. Well remember in my last post I said I had some changes developing? Do you recall that crazy post about FERTILITY doctors and my frustration with the cost ect??? Well I have my answer - my answered prayer....

Yep that is a pregnancy test that reads that sacred word all who have experienced loss yearn to someday read once again. I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!! FINALLY! After a year and four long months of trying, testing and being defeated with negatives ~ I am finally seeing my dreams in reality! I can not tell you how hard it has been to keep this on the down low and not shout from the roof tops. I felt so sure that my body had once again failed me and really started to believe that THIS was my reality, one that I would never understand but would have to except that I may never be a mother again. Well time proved me wrong and I found that all of my worries were only in vain and that one day soon I would carry this precious gift again. I want to assure those of you who are still TTC'n - DONT give up but give up in your mind...allow yourself to let go and it WILL happen for you too! As for me I invite you to follow my journey as I walk this tight rope leading to hopefully a healthy baby rainbow! Now for those of you interested in stats ect:

The picture above (top) says: Baby at 6 wks 3 days. Sorry for small print.

Weeks in the nest : 11weeks & 2 days today!

Weight gain: about 2lbs

Maternity clothes: Just starting to need bottoms

Stretch marks: Not yet

Sleep: It vary's...Its probably as good as it will be.

Best moment this week: Today's ultrasound! Baby's heart rate was 171 bpm and we cleared the test for down syndrome (at least for ultrasound part- baby's number was 1.7 and anything below 3 is good) Baby is also measuring 3 days ahead at this point. :)

Movement: None that I can feel but baby definitely takes after me with the womb dance! HA!

Food cravings: Not much major cravings but I do find I prefer more salt than sugar....hmmm...what does this mean? lol I have been eating a variety of Mexican, Italian, and all American foods (minus fast food). I sorta crave elephant ears and sorbet (on hot days) but yeah...

Belly button in or out: In....who knows what it will look like after I really start to show. :)

Looking Forward to: Everything at my 20 wk scan- finding out the gender will be awesome and getting a better look at this developing placenta will be great for us since this was a issue in TanaLee's time in the womb. (Her cord met not in the center but off to the side on the placenta making it difficult to get her needs)

As for today's appointment: Went better than I anticipated and my high risk OB tells me everything looks fantastic and that nothing is going to (cough) hell in a hand-basket yet. (insert my smile here).
Enough chatting right.....the awaited pictures of baby number 2!