Ready for some change-

Seriously.

I have been stuck in this crap place for too long. Yesterday I was feeling the desperate need to feel needed, wanted. I took it so far as the pet store hoping to fall in love with anything and take it home. I held a ferret and as soon as its little fangs touched my skin I handed it back and said, "Savannah would chase this thing looking for the darn squeaker." I even looked at snakes- NOT that I want one but just to pass time I think?. This TTC business is rough on the brain. I lost it when red showed up. I'm just TIRED. I want that beautiful relationship with MY child. Not looking at some other mother who is HAPPY to hand over her precious goods for a few minutes so she can rest...then handing the baby back cause it doesn't like my glasses or something...for mom to cuddle and calm her child-the right thing to do but it breaks my sad heart that I don't have that too. I kinda am tired of acting like I'm happy all the time.

Saving up for that monitor....so stinkn expensive- I mean if it works it will be so worth it...but to front sooo much money at once is crazy.

Well in change of subject I've been thinking of you all and hope good things for you. I really try to comment when I can. Which brings me to my question, do ya'll still read from me? I haven't heard hardly a peep from you all...I've got 44 all "watching" but might have one comment or none at all. Not that this is the only thing that matters but we can all say that having that extra support on the other end of our blogs help with the coping process. Let me know how you all are and ask me anything.

One thing I thought I'd mention- If you are wondering or noticed that the email attached to this blog is a "Jeremy"....That would be my husbands email, he set this blog up for me back when we were with TanaLee in Seattle, WA. So In other words I won't get your emails via the one attached to this blog. I love feedback and am always here for support in return. Sending hope your way- hope for some baby dust in mine. tootles.

For the sake of blogging-

I don't have a lot to say today but I do want to blog.... funny how that works out.

So I was crazy last week and went up to Multnomah Falls when it was all icy and windy. Hey that's me- leave me to be the one to freeze your tush! Ha! It was a lot of fun me, hubs, and my sis'n niece. We hiked almost half way... marker 5/11. Jeremy got too cold so we turned around to go back down. Oh and did I mention how cute Savannah looked in an old Old Navy sweater of Genesis's? yeah everyone we crossed paths with stopped to tell me how cute she was...and me thinking about how I only wish for a baby for others to be oooing at....Blah....

Yesterday I had a crummy day. Spent most of it thinking about TanaLee and cupcakes as my favorite show to watch lately has been CupCake Wars. I decided to make cupcakes from scratch...some of you housewives think "cupcakes- piece of cake!" lol But for me, this is an alley I have never walked down as a "domesticated" wife. End result: Chocolate cupcakes that thankfully were softer then bricks and a cream cheese frosting that wasn't bad but apparently wasn't OMG either. As a first timer on this I'd say I did good...improvement is always ready and waiting at my doorstep though. *sorry no pictures of my experience- forgot to take pictures...next time for sure.* Also I will upload photos of Savannah in that sweater too!

How have you all been? Anyone in the dumps too? Feel like swapping any desert recipes? Pass some along and I'll be sure to forward you a recipe or two. :)

Have you been swaddled?

So we all know that swaddling is one of those nearly universal things to help babies rest enough to sleep. I decided to try a whole new spin on "when" to swaddle....

* LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY HERE!!!!!*

So is a 2 year old too OLD to be swaddled? How bout a 23 year old? Funny late night with my sister and niece tonight! What can I say we got bored and Jeremy was sleeping due to work early tomorrow so we decided to exercise my mommy skills that got dusty since June of 2010.

Good start to the new year! Now just 364 days to go!