Goldie Locks for Cancer...or maybe its called Dishwater blonde?

So I did it... CUT IT OFF! Made a sizable donation to "Locks of Love" for those who are under treatments that cause the loss of hair. Folks, I lived in the Ronald McDonald house where many children were on chemo for cancer and lost their own natural hair. This broke my heart. When I found out about this program I just knew I had to do it. You can click on the link and read more about it on the website but it really is simple and a great gift for those who have lost something, that for some is like loosing their identity of who they are.

Let's do a comparison...

Before last springs haircut:

 After:

Grow baby Grow... 

At my get away months later:

 Give my hair in the above picture about three more inches and voila' you have my length just before this transformation:

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This was my face after everything was cut! But I really do love it despite what my face says...lol

Typical fun face for a non-photogenic gal-

(sorry about the bad lighting...camera wasn't listening to me! lol)

So there you have it...the new look for hopefully the new JOB...prayers that I hear good things next week!

*Comment if you like the new hairdo and you might donate at your next salon visit...heck you could do it yourself but you may need a steady hand...lol

Interviews flowing like water..

So not many of you know that I have been looking for a new job due to some schedule issues and not enough to keep my bank happy.
I just got two interviews within five minutes of each other and here I was thinking this was going no where and was crazy slow. Yea for that to come through- I needed this.
Also I'm cutting my hair ladies! I have long long hair that just drives me up a wall sometimes and it is time to chop. I will post my new due, my appointment is set for the 24th so keep your eye out for me here in blog land.

In other news...well not a whole lot around here except that we are back in the game and trying to keep up.
I've been reading "The HUNGER games" OMG! I cheated and about five chapters in couldn't resist another minute so hubs and I drove our happy butts to see the movie! lol I'm being a champ and finishing the book. Can't wait for the next book/movie!

Do I sound you know,
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Bi-polar? I've been funny with my moods. Between Aunt flow and stress from looking for a job I have been all over the map with emotions- you'd think I was pregnant.
As for this blog land....I've been trying to keep up and blog myself but I feel like I've turned into a sapp or have nothing good to say.   Ya'll keep me entertained and wanting the next read...so I feel I owe ya a good post, even if not lengthy. Have a good rest of your day and think positive! 

Space my heart sinks in-

So my last few days haven't been to happy but tonight just sent me over the edge.

I got off work this evening and felt as though my stomach would eat my insides if I didn't feed it soon. So I had the bright idea to go to a close restaurant. Well I decided to do this since hubs is on call which means he can be called into work and stay there until a certain time. Tonight was a trigger night. Started with three pregnant women passing me to leave the restaurant. We get seated and after just ten or so minutes a new baby in a car seat is placed within inches of me. To make matters harder the two couples (one being the parents) spent the duration of our meal gushing over the baby and their experience with labor ect. I will say most days I can put on a smile and deal with this. But let me just say that despite my smile I can't truly be happy for these people. They have a baby and it lives effortlessly and that's nothing to hate on but it stings like heck when you are bulldozed with that fact that you suffered with your child for months with a tragic end. They get to live freely. You are chained to the past that will forever stalk you.

I have extreme amounts of difficulty with this because I have been TTC'n for over a year with no results. I have lost my first child. I have emptied my heart and soul only to stagger back to my chain to the past. Hating what I was cheated of and missing what I don't have. Telling myself the whole way that I could have dealt with the difficult parts if only things were different.

Aside from my challenge everyday to continue I have been reduced to living in my memories and trying to make new ones. Both failing sorely lately. Heart swelling for hope and continued zeal in my journey. This mama is hurting tonight. Tomorrow will be another day and hopefully something positive will come to light. Hugs mama's I'm thinking of you always, I have had you all in my prayers and hope only the best in your coming days. If you are like me and TTC'n, what do you do to keep up your zeal? If you are a mama of a rainbow, what do you enjoy most of having this blessed journey? May your days be filled with hope and renewed love to surround you.

~Felicia