hairbrush
there are dents
in the wall
over
my desk
where I've thrown you
over again
modern scourge
accessory as
hat
or gloves
or cat o nine tails
everyday
in the mirror
striking
are you perfect, yet
down
no, you're not
swish
are you perfect yet
thud
no you're not
the biting reply
draws blood
or not
as the transgression
demands

Listening to (in my head): Evita and Barenaked Ladies
because
it is PBS pledge time
and
less than 24 hours til the concert
woo and hoo

You've spent two hours carousing with people who are pleasant enough but who, face it, if you weren't in a show with them right now you wouldn't cross the street to save them from a mugger or say hi
and meanwhile
somewhere between 1500 and 2000 thousand miles away
he's had an opening and you aren't seeing it
and you've had an opening and he isn't here
and who knows when either of you will be
and, driving home, you feel every inch of that distance as if you've walked it twice and would again just to be there.

Look, Ma! I'm in a show!

The Twilight Zone, LIVE! late night at Theatre Schmeater, to be specific.

Perhaps, if you are in Seattle, you might consider coming to see it, perhaps.

Desire coupled
With lack of sufficient nerve
Breed uneasy scams

i've said it before

Dreaming about people you know is just weird.

Especially when they are not wearing pants.

Jim: "Hey Steve, you look awful!"
Steve: "Oh, hey Jim. It's my sketch comedy. It keeps falling flat."
Jim: "Sounds like you need the 14th Stair."
Steve: "The 14th Stair? What's that?"
Jim: "After 22 years of work in Spolinology, scientists have come up with the perfect blend of lame swear words, random absurd situational juxtapositions, and gross fake genitalia. The 14th Stair is guaranteed to make at least 2 people in your audience howl with laughter."
Steve: "Where can I get this 14th Stair?"
Jim: "Here, you can borrow mine."
Steve: "But Jim, your sketch comedy never falls flat."
Jim: "Exactly Steve, exactly."
(cheery music plays) The 14th Stair, the fourteenth stair, the 14th stair, the 14th stair
(voice over) The 14th Stair, endings to sketches not included, by Saturday Night Industries. A division of Zurdicon.

Brains overrule us
Tabling our waking fears
Even if so moved

Priorities Got Filed Where?

The AOL "news"box when you sign in is often amusing/annoying (amnoying? anusing?)

Anyway.

Today:
WalMart Image Stripped Down
Playboy Photos, Illegal Workers
Wholesome Reputation Sullied?

Hmm, take the fact that they fire any worker who suggests that maybe, perhaps Wal-Mart employees ought to have a union (which was illegal last time I checked, besides being "majorly heinous") and I think you can remove the question mark from that last subhead there.

Coo koo kachoo

This weekend I attempted, once again, to watch The Graduate. Granted that I've not seen the whole movie and what I have seen has been in out of order fragments, but still, I'm not so much enjoying it as, well, not.

In my defense (re: being accused of excessive negativity or having no taste), here are at least 10 movies which I really, really like:

The Shawshank Redemption - A pretty typical choice, unfortunately. Despite this fact, I can watch it over and over and over and feel really good about life.
The Manchurian Candidate - It sounds like a Robert Ludlum novel, but is actually a brilliant movie. Just, wow. The Garden Party scene. Yeah. Wow.
Double Indemnity - If you were in a noir film and had to watch some film-noir, this is the movie you would be seeing; it is snappy and evil. "Flip the record over, let's hear the other side." How true.
Singin' In the Rain - Despite my enjoyment of Chicago, this remains my favourite movie musical. I especially love, well, all of it, but I double love the Cyd Charisse/Gene Kelly dance (NOT the one in the scarf, the other one).
The Usual Suspects - My friend Adam and his friend Mike kidnapped me to watch this one and were quiet throughout despite the fact they had already seen it. **See also The Way of The Gun for stunning working-a-room-with-weapons grace between Benicio Del Toro and Ryan Phillippe.
American Beauty - Best first date movie ever. Both the date and the movie.
Strictly Ballroom - My favourite of the 3 films by my favourite director. The style serves the story more here, I think, than it does in Moulin Rouge.
Persuasion - My Jane Austin-based movie collection is extensive, and I do have a shameful fondness for Clueless, but this one actually has real-looking people in it. Also, it's a lovely story. Also, Fiona Shaw.
Brazil - My first run-in with Terry Gilliam was The Fisher King where I rewound and rewatched the Grand Central Station dancing scene numerous times. Brazil, however, is a more complete trip into his head. I think.
The Great Muppet Caper - Charles Grodin was willing to take an acting note from a Muppet. But, then again, who isn't?

Must. Act. Better.

reading: Etiquette and Vitriol by Nicky Silver

I'm runaway train into the night involved in a show. It goes up in 8 days. And I've completely lost my acting mojo, if we take "mojo" to mean "confidence", which it probably doesn't but what the hell.

Mostly I'm intimidated by the rest of the cast. Not that they aren't nice, just. . .It's been a long time since I've been involved in a show (not counting Ghosty, here) where I've had this much respect for the director and other actors. I'm not sure why it's freaking me out so much, but it really, really is. Ack.

I think the last time I was this intimidated was when I started work on What the Butler Saw. . . .and that's a great point to remember, because I really rather sucked in that show. Oh, no, wait, I was consistent. Fuck.

Ok, need to do a systematic-like search for my acting confidence. Where did I last see it? Retrace steps. Try not to panic.

My Weekend
or
You Are Entering The Discomfort Zone
or
No Sleeping Near the Baklava
or
The Leg Kick Always Works
or
Stealing the Producer's Coffee Is A Great Way to Get Cast
or
My Still Not Getting The Graduate
or
Pumpkin Beer, Sex Toys, and Diet Tips
or
Dennys Vu
or
And Lo! On the 7th Day Thou Shalt Look Like Ass
or
My Ignoring the Gerund (Pretend version)

And that pretty much sums it up.

and still listening to Jet
Dear Psycho Frat Boy,

Remember the sort of dancing that embarrassed you when I made the mistake of going to the Theatrrr Dept. End of Year Awards After Party "with" you?

Yeah, well, fuck you, 'cause they're using it to sell iPods now.

"Oh well, what the hell," sang McWatt

Despite some occasional pleasant overlapping we almost all move about in distinctly separate worlds.

I say this not because it is a new insight but because at some times it is more disconcertingly obvious than at others. Like now, for instance.

And back to bed for I am sick-like.

Flashback: Day of Thor

With divine snack of strawberry PopRocks in hand, on a gorgeous day of errand running and unexpected respite from responsibility, I felt sure the Miscellaneous Birds waving their gray, white, and gray again way to and fro above Market Street knew that, from where I sat, they were Esther Williamsing to Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone, so I barely minded the English Racing Green minivan that almost sideswiped me.

Time for Evil

What is it about midnight?

I've been tired and feeling almost but not quite sick most of the day. It was a good day, despite this, with one notable not-good exception that if I were smart I wouldn't even toss into the mix for consideration but if I had the proverbial dollar for every statement I could accurately start with "If I were smart I wouldn't. . ." I would be able to buy that steel blue Z3 I so long for.

And I got a lot done. But when I was done getting things done I was done with the day and the outside world. I got a frozen dinner and popped Pride & Prejudice into the DVD machine and veggied out.

So why am I awake now and wanting to write things? I'm not wanting to write things, I'm wanting to sleep.

Stupid body, be more sleepy. Ignore the call of the pumpkins.

(listening to Limp Bizkit doesn't help, either, in case you'd wondered)

Thought you'd entered where
I waited with mocha for
Someone, but no, sigh

in lighter thought I have magic soup. Flavor: red miso

The Earth, which is round, goes around the sun. Grown-ups, who are not all-knowing in any case, also do not actually have eyes in the back of their heads. Shaving your upper legs does not cause the hair to grow back in upside-down. Showering right after sex is not effective birth control.

Oh, and saying that you want people with confederate flags to vote for you doesn't mean you are a bigot.

Does it perhaps mean you haven't given thought to the many people who are offended by the confederate flag? Possibly. But what, I wonder typographically, has put the idea into our fuzzy heads that we have the right never to be exposed to anything we find offensive?

Take recent events at UW. The actions taken and not taken by the powers that be would seem to suggest they actually feel some things to be so offensive that the offended can not help but react violently, so shame on you for offending them so much because you really should have known better.

My countrypeople continually astound me with new and convoluted ways to avoid personal responsibility.

Achtung! I now own a gravy boat.

It even matches the other dishes. In some people's reckoning, this might mean I am now a grown-up. Perhaps I will start telling people to clean their rooms.

Hmmmm, I'd do best to start with myself there. Messy, messy, messy.

You must be double jointed. And Hungarian.

Rudolph Valentino. Brooding, handsome, and secretly Dr. Who.

How did I figure it out? Well, besides having an incredibly annoying sidekick who can't act, his tent is 5 times bigger inside than out.

Dead giveaway, that.

more wisdom from the phone

today in various and sundry cell conversations i found out

1) women have all the power
and
2) terrorists hate us because we have more money.

Golly, it sure is a relief to discover the world is a much simpler place than i had thought.

from the phone:

"Eddie Murphy sure has jumped on the Disney ride-as-movie train."

"I can't wait 'til they make Space Mountain the movie."

"Yeah me too, wait, they've already done that."

"No, I think you're thinking of Ghost Mountain."

"Actually, we're both thinking of Witch Mountain."

"Damn, and that was almost funny, too."