can't you see i'm burnin' burnin

so i popped out of the job for a minute this morning to get some coffee, only to find that the tree in front of the theatrrr was on fire.

well, actually it wasn't the tree, it was the mulch around the tree. and it wasn't flaming so much as it was smoldering,

when i saw the thin line of smoke, i thought at first one of the loyal barflys of the dive next door had simply neglected to put out their butt (hee) properly in their glee over ten o'clock rolling around. i figured i could just squish it a bit (carefully in my sandals) to squelch it and be on my way.

not so much. a of all, it wasn't a cigarette and b, foot smooshing just seemed to spread the smouldery bit around so that there was more of it.

couldn't i just leave it? i wondered. that didn't seem smrt. the mulch is all wood chip and the line at the french bakery tends to be long. the not-quite-fire seemed to be going pretty good already and i was afraid of what might happen if i wandered off. any outcome other than just dying out would've lead to a visit from my old friend The Guilt.

fortunately we have a lot of vases around these days in the aftermath of a power struggle betwixt the gallery and volunteer coordinators. i filled one up and dumped the water over the mulch.

incidentally thereby watering the tree a bit, which was probably also a good thing, now that i think about it.

i did have a moment of worry that i was putting out some homeless person's cooking fire and would be accosted, but the block seemed actually rather oddly deserted. Weird. finished playing smokey the bear, i went on my way, coffee far more well earned than usual and thus all the sweeter.

or perhaps that was the extra packet of sugar.

a quiz? on monday?? madness!

Your result for The Personality Defect Test...

Smartass

You are 57% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 86% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.

You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Braggart, and the Sociopath.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.

Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy

fridays ____ for quizzes!
a) is
b) are
c) both a and b
d) neither a nor b

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 100% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at HelloQuizzy

i'm half crazy

the ice cream truck in my neighborhood tends to play "bicycle built for two".

how about yours?

s-c-h-a-d-e-n-f-r-e-u-d-e

dark damp pre dawn, i
need a still, strong shoulder to
leave my broke down van

rain at rest lingers
dancing in breezes from blue
speeding SUV

what do you do with a BA in drama?

at my second audition of the weekend i choked.

literally. after the warm ups (normal for improv auditions), we were settling back into our seats for the Small Group Games portion of the competition when i took a small swig of water and apparently tried to inhale it.

pause. all systems shut down. turn red. begin coughing.

"are you all right?" asked the vaguely surfer looking gentleman to my right.

i nodded and, wanting to avoid further attention, left the room as unobtrusively as possible. then i spent the next few moments in the girl's bathroom, trying to gag myself back to normal as quietly as possible so i could still hear the instructions for the first game.

made it back in plenty of time but still. damn.

my fault for suggesting earlier today that my first audition had wrung me out so thoroughly that i had no nerves left for number two.

yeah, suuure.

there's a fine fine line

the scorpion's sting
open not love's hidden bite
of careless neglect

i am still right here

- friday i got one of the weirdest cool random compliments ever: "oh, you totally look like you could be a rat city roller girl."

- i disagree.

- but i thanked the lady sincerely.

- lately all of my work sp4m has been auf deutsch.

- no idea why.

- but it makes it really easy to sort.

always the same it's just a shame

i just realized it is noon and i've had no caffeine yet today.

no, this is not a side effect of a new-turned leaf nor an indication of my superhuman willpower.

rather, i am intensely noncommittal about this day and this is just an indicator of how much. apparently my body really thinks there is some chance of my getting to go back to bed soon.

which would be nice, since my sleep of last night was really more of a restless serial nap.

and there is such a chance of my getting back to beddy bye. in fact, there are two: slim and fat.

get anything i want 'cause i'm the birthday girl

(which could well be the best birthday song ever. yes, it _is_ better than 'skip around the room'.)

today's goal: accomplish as little as possible, whilst and at the same time being at work most of the day.

so far, so good.

Dear Seattle,

Just writing a quick note to remind you:

It is June.

Because you appear not to've noticed.

Love, Raej