what i did at work today (thursday)
or
being used to trouble i anticipate it, part 3


here's how they normally look. this fella's the one on the far left.

stay tuned for instructions on how i made the bat ears.

being used to trouble i anticipate it, part 2

ok, those Loyal Readers who guessed "Using Them To Decorate the Statues next to the Road to West Seattle, Giving Them Bat Ears, Bat Wings and Dripping Blood" were right and can claim their prize.

since no one guessed, i can make that a pretty spectacular prize. hm. how about the section of Italian bread i have that was signed by The Cowboy Junkies? they each signed a different slice. if you can invent a time machine and go back and guess correctly, it's yours...but i'd also like a ride in thet thar time machine, if you don't mind.

pictures to follow. soon as i get the $%^&ers to post from my phone. grumble.

being used to trouble i anticipate it
or
yet another aspect of another job that sounds way cooler than it is

for work today i purchased a super sized roll of aluminum foil, a box of plastic lawn bags, red duct tape and black spray paint.

i brought most of this home where i essentially continued working until, oh, about ten minutes ago.

tomorrow i'll get up early and take these items somewhere to do something.

i'll take some pictures, but if anyone would care to guess what i'll be up to, have at.

meanwhile, i am le tired.

the sunburned hands i used to hold

oh Fall, season of ambivalence.

on the down side, you mean summer is over. sorry to play favourites with you, seasons, but there it is.
you mean close-toed shoes.
you lead the way out the best season into the worst season and you always leave me feeling that i've wasted so much of the sunlight.

given how much i sleep, that's not an unusual feeling.

in the plus column, you have days like today.

and you present a mysterious burst of autumnal energy (which i chalk up to a Pavlovian Back to School response. i was good at the schooling and it also meant getting the hell out of my father's house for large stretches of the day. plus and plus.)

also, you return the flavors of pumpkin and cinnamon to us, which we cannot help but approve.

ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

bravo is selling shirts that say "tim gunn told me to wear this shirt".

thing is, not only hasn't he, but he soooo totally wouldn't.

dear bravo, please look into plausible merchandising. thnx. luv, raej.

bound in a nutshell

being trapped in the work elevator for 5 minutes is really not the best way to discover one has claustrophobia.

on the other hand, how else would you figure something like that out?

if he calls your name you're done

after the tim gunn show last night, i am seriously considering changing my last name to Ninja. or maybe Pirate.

if it were relatively hassle-free, what would you change your last name to?

these are the daves i know i know these are the daves i know

web designer: the dependability of a visual artiste combined with the forbearance and social graces of an IT guy.

but there's not a man alive who can live up to such standards

truly, when we got stuck in traffic in my sister's neighborhood behind a red, white and blue striped honda civic that claimed to be the vehicle of the "No Limit Honkey"? i just expected the website to contain something more interesting than this.

standing up on the bride's side

one of my dearest friends got married this weekend past, which is why i was back in The Lou so soon.

i did my part for the ceremony, corsican sister-style, by suddenly developing a giant zit right around the time i started to get ready for the event.

i forget where i first encountered the idea of a sympathetic girl being able to take the cosmic acne punch on behalf of the bride, but i consider i did it pretty thoroughly with my biggest, reddest, most obvious blemish since eleventh grade.

as a metaphysical occurrence it may not have been Time-Life book worthy, but it made me feel involved.

(to reassure those of you for whom psychic grooming gifts are insufficient, i'll add that the couple was also presented with a shiny new next generation george foreman.)

hitch your wagon to a meme
or
we beez on ur websites borrowin ur memes!
and sometimes i get to have fun at work.

100% less bikini, 0% more work

wabbit season. duck season. spidey season

the hell with all these freakin' spiders?

this morning, as i stepped out of the shower, there was a spider scurrying acrost the bathroom tile. it was so big, i could actually see it from where i was standing dripping wet not wearing my glasses.

for those of you who have no notion exactly how blind i am: the beastie appeared from my towering 5 foot 4 and a half inch height as a very active blurry smudge.

of course, since optometrists don't use spider charts, this still may not be of much help in determining the size of the spider. in brief: closer inspection of the thing revealed it to be approximately 1.5 inches in spidameter*. yes, i am quite near sighted. no, you can't try on my glasses.

*spidameter (noun): a straight line passing from the end of furry gross long front legs to furry creepy short back legs of a slightly squished, completely dead spider, through its center