So, my hair is now blue.

Also, I appear to have a cold.

The 2 are quite possibly unrelated, but I thought I'd give some material to all the mothers out there trying to keep their childrens' hair in the natural colour range.

Speaking of, my mom was in town recently, but my hair wasn't yet blue again. It was a brown it hadn't been since high school.

After all that fuss about french vanilla cappuccinos, I wound up getting her a vanilla latte, judging, correctly, that the QT drinks were extra milk and sugared and that mum is unable to tell the difference between french vanilla and plain ol' american vanilla.

I win. Now, the generic-brand theraflu is kicking in, and i shall attempt to sleep. Good morning all.

If wishes were camera phones,
I could show you the unbelievable Jesus figurine i saw today while on lunch from my temping gig in Edmonds.

Truly, it appeared the ceramic Son of God was forcing his divine attentions on a rosy cheeked ceramic child. And lo, it did appear the lad was attempting to fend off Our Savior.

blessed are the forgetful, for they shall not have to face the painful process of learning

can't start blogging about mum's visit without visiting the premath, which involved some frantic cleaning, topped by a lovely drinking/incredible movie outing friday eve.

charlie kaufman stands as my favourite screenplay writer currently on active duty. not only does he create some brilliantly original stuff, but simultaneously grounds his characters in familiarly mundane behaviors.

thing is, no matter how out he's gone, his work always feels comfortable to me. not a sense of "yeah, i could've thought of that," but rather "this guy knows what i know and sees things the way i do." homelike.

take eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. the Point or Author's Message or Moral depressed at least one of our group, elated another, and left me with the warm fuzzy feeling which comes from having a complete stranger articulate the idea around which you've built your status quo.

also, i'll be dying my hair blue again sometime very soon. just need to pick the shade.

Answering Life's Important Questions, like: What Drink Are You?

CONGRATS!
You're a Depth Charge!
Yaaarr... scurvy dog! You drink like a sailor and think like one too.

(it involves peppermint schnapps and a beer...and drinking it quickly)

update: the visit went quite well. soon i will blog about it all. first, however, i will have a looooong nap.

this broadcast may be interrupted to bring me entertainment

For anyone following along at home, my mom arrived safe and sound and we've already dragged her out on a long walk to the Ballard Locks.

Tommorrow, a LightHouse Adventure!...which you may not hear about until later. I'm kind of taking this as a vacation for me too, so the not doing any "usual" activities for a short stretch of time, blogging included, might be needed for a good clean mental break.

I still like you all very much though!

so, the most annoying thing when i'm drunk, besides the slurred speech and erosion of typing abilities, such as they ever are, and etc, is the cross-eyed syndrome. disrupts. makes me want to sleep. etc.

ack

challenge: find the facts! there are 3!
beginners: find the lies! there are 9 or more!
bonus: tell me how to spell capichinno! i really don't know!

i'm on my third french vanilla cappuchino, which is making it impossible for me to sit still or even down. Instead i bounce around twitchily, reading the posters on the light poles. i precognize none of them will interest me. right i am, and debate their various graphic merits and demerits in an unfocused way, since my real business is to be judging the quality of the drink in my hand. my mom is coming to visit, and has expressed a new-found enjoyment of french vanilla capuchinos. i have promised her that seattle is the place to have the best of such a thing and now, here i am, before 11 on a wednesday, on my third and trying to decide which was the best. i am decidedly handicapped by my dislike of vanilla and my complete inability to tell one type of coffee from another.

Dear Mtv,
You appear to have accidentally misnamed your newest show.
Obviously, you really intended it to be "Yo Bitch, Pimp My Ride"...

And just where was Pimp My Ride when my north county ass was driving around in the burgandy plastic fantastic 1993 Acclaim?

!featuring!
- driver's side door with exclusive exterior operation!
- rear door crushed by old lady driver (now patched with 50% more duct tape!)!!
- exploding headlight and overheating engine, just add rain!
- electronic window converted to charming hand operation

Meatwad get the money, see? meatwad get the honeys, see!
or
Hey, frat boy! are you ticklish?
yeah I called you frat, look at me I'm indie,
but that doesn't keep me from gettin' busy,
you're a greek...

It should have occurred to me sooner than cleaning out an old box of debate medals while watching Adult Swim sunday night, but cartoonists were probably as unpopular in high school as I was.

I've noted that people who were unpopular in high school, or at least unpopular in the way I was, tend to not join or like fraternities.

Both Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Space Ghost Coast to Coast this Sunday past portrayed frat boys in non-flattering ways. Apparently the creators of these shows have the idea that all frat boys get very drunk, try to have sex with anything that moves, and barf in lurid neon green waves over anything that doesn't.

As a former girlfriend of a Pi Kappa Phi, and a 4 year GDI, i can attest to the accuracy of this characterization. Except the neon green bit; that must just be frat boys from space.

Reading:

Dune by Frank Herbert
and
Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde

Suggestion, Box: Don't
Ask if you are stuffed full to
Suffer my complaints

Dear Purveyors of Fine Teas,

Your teas are delicious and quite nice for the drinking. In addition, your containers come in very handy when dropping loose tea on the corn starch you spilled on your kitchen counter a few days ago while making soup is required.

They are not, however, so helpful if you want to get the tea into your house-shaped infuser, which says "Tea" so as to remind you what to put in it. (Me: Is this my bacon infuser? InfuserHaus: Tea!)

Perhaps you might consider adjusting the entrance aperture of your tea containers for people whose spilling needs are amply taken care of by cats or well-timed sneezes.

Respectfully submitted,
Rae

You can take the girl out of St. Louis, but you can't take St. Louis out of the Rumour Mill
or
The rabbit lives, there is no bun, and won't explaning this be fun?

It has now happened twice in 3 months that a close friend in St. Louis has been informed by a not that close friend that I am with child.

The hell?

Now, anyone who knows me at all well knows this to not only be false but just darn unlikely. And frankly, in both cases, in the event of an actual prenancy, both of the informees would have received this information far before either of the informers.

The hell?

So where is this weird ass story coming from? Uh, i don't know for sure, but there is a theory: A former friend is quite possibly insanely projecting her relationship troubles onto me and Mr. D.

(all together now) The hell?!

Yeah, well, apparently Mr. D and I started dating too soon after he and his last girlfriend broke up. Because, you know, we're all still in middle school, really.

I was hoping that being together for almost 3 years now would be enough time for some of the bile to neutralize out. Maybe it needs another year.

Or maybe by then I'll have freakin' twins.

Once upon a time there was a very cute girl named Betty. Her evil stepfather had kept her locked away from all the preppy clothes in the land...

Admittedly, the JCrew Spring 2004 catalog makes odd bedtime reading.

Me: Look! You could have Lobster Shorts!
MrD: You think I should wear bright red swimtrunks?
Me: No, the ones with lobsters on them.
MrD: Aah, I thought you meant the lobster-coloured ones.
Me: For your information, those are tomato.
MrD: Really. And are the lobsters tomato-coloured or lobster-coloured?
Me: Uh, er, um, (flip) Look! Girls in bikinis!

so, she was all "what have you been up to?" and I was all "uh"

yeah, my life has been pretty fucking boring. work chat can only cover 5 minutes or so....maybe 10, as I have the unusual job....but does anyone really want to know that i've been napping a lot, rereading my only Thursday Next book because I have to wait until payday to buy the new ones, and playing a bloody lot of Dynasty Warriors 4?

of course not.

butterfly in the sky, banana clip on your eye

I'd forgotten how much I love Reading Rainbow. Having gotten up early (for me...ok, 10:30, is not early, really, but it is rare for this girl to arise more than an hour earlier than she has too if that time is before noon. it's a matter of principle.), I was cruising cable for some crap tv to accompany breakfast (left-over pot roast, yummmmmm).

Instead I found Reading Rainbow and was immediately as entralled as ever I had been as a shorter, younger person. They were in the Florida coast islands and there were all sorts of cool oceany things to see and play with.

And you know what? LaVar Burton may just be the best "host" type person from any show ever. He is enthusiastic, informed enough to not seem a dipwad, but not trying to be smarter than the experts, and he's willing to wade around in the leafy mud under a mangrove tree and make friends with the crabs living there.

So what if all his responses start with "wow"? It is wow. It's all very very wow, and I need to remember that more often.

Because I ask you,
He knows my dark weakness for
The coils of the throats

baseball in latex

this is insane.

i got up early. on a saturday morning. to do a draft.

an imaginary draft.

an imaginary draft of real ball players for my imaginary team. (the antioch incest)

i used my fictional baseball expertise to pick 'em.

which, of course, leads us all to the burning question:

why?

no fucking idea.

they should call it oddvertising

How come it is ok to blatantly use sex to sell everything from potato crisps to cell phones, (things which, in my world, have very little to do with sex, but of course your mileage may vary) but when you are advertising a drug which helps with sexual performance, you must be subtle and tasteful and barely alude to sex?