Baby, It's Cold Outside

Yesterday Wes and I went to our monthly check-up and all is going well. It was just a quick how are you doing kind of appointment and answering a few of our questions. We got to hear their heartbeats again and she checked my belly. I have been gaining some weight as well. I think that I have gained about 10 pounds so far, although their scales confuse me. I don't have a scale at home so I just go with what they tell me. I do know that I gained 3 pounds since my last appointment less than two weeks ago. I have no issues with gaining weight and the doctor said that I am doing just fine. She will let me know if I haven't gained enough or if I've gained too much. I just love that the more that I'm growing, the more the babies are growing. I still haven't felt them moving yet and I cannot wait for that day. It should be any time now I would think. It happens sooner with multiples since they have less room to move around and I will be 15 weeks tomorrow so we will see. We scheduled our next appointment (January 20th) and if the babies are cooperating that day we will get to find out what they are!!!!!!

The questions that we asked about were mostly about delivery. I asked how many times she's delivered both twins naturally or if I needed to start getting used to the thought of a C-Section. She said that she will definitely let me try vaginally if both babies are head down but that probably I should start to prepare myself for a C-Section. I also asked if I am going to have a C-Section would it be scheduled. She said that we try to schedule it but with twins they generally don't make it to the scheduled date, as they cannot predict when I will go into labor. I just really don't want an emergency c-section or another doctor performing it. I want our doctor who knows me and my babies well. I guess we will see what happens but I'm hoping for the best.

Finally, my sister said that I really need to post more pictures on here. I haven't taken many of myself that I would want to share but I promise to start doing so. My mom, my sister and I are going to register at Babies 'R Us on Saturday and maybe I will take some then. Until then here is a picture of Ashley and I before attending the TranSiberian Orchestra concert at the Palace on Sunday night for my mom's surprise birthday. I am 14 weeks and Ashley is 21 weeks.

Hello Heartburn

I'm approaching my 14th week and pregnancy has decided to grace me with some heartburn. It is the strangest feeling. I've never had it before I was pregnant and it feels weird. To me it feels more like esophagus burn. It is above my heart and it just feels like I put icy hot on throat. Strange, but not unbearable.

I am continuing to get headaches. They are not constant anymore but now the really sharp stinging painful ones come on often and I have no warning. They make my eyes water and I can't even really keep them open. It happens at school and I just have to turn away from the kids or step in the hallway. It happened while I was driving home from work today and I almost pulled over because I'm sure it is not very safe to be driving that way but just as I was about to pull over it subsided. I could really do without those that is for sure. I'm hoping that the hormones are leveling out and they will lessen up. I'm also planning to get a massage and see if aligning my back won't help a little bit. That also is very achy. All in all though this pregnancy is going wonderfully. I can't really complain. This is everything I wanted and I'm so glad that I can say that I am a happy pregnant person and everyday my body amazes me with all that it is doing.

We go back to the doctor next Monday and I'll hear the heartbeats again. Our BIG appointment will be scheduled next Monday but it will be sometime in January. I CANNOT wait to find out what concoction of kids we will have! :) My friend, Kelly, told me that the first dream about the babies that you have when you are pregnant will tell you what you are having. That happened last week and it was so amazing!!!!!! They were so perfect and it was one of each so we will have to see! The only weird thing was the girl was 8 lb. 12 oz. and the boy was 5 lb. 12 oz., so they were very different. Of course that won't happen but it seemed so real in my dream. After Christmas it will just be a few more weeks and we will know! Can you tell I'm excited?!?!?!?!?!

Scary days

Yesterday and today have been pretty scary for us.  Yesterday morning I woke up to some spotting.  I hadn't had any of that up to this point and I was feeling really relieved that I wasn't going to have to stress about that.  I was frantic and very upset.  I called the emergency number for my doctor's office and the doctor on call said I needed to call the office as soon as they open and that they will need to do an ultrasound.  Wes and I got subs for the morning and I got ready.  I was out of my mind nervous the whole time thinking I was going to lose one or both of the babies.  The office opened at 8:00.  They wanted me in at 9:00 and they did the ultrasound right away.  As soon as they came on the screen I started crying.  The babies were both completely fine and I could hear their hearts beating away.  One of the babies heart rates was even stronger than last week.  I cannot describe the relief that we felt.  After the ultrasound I saw the nurse and the doctor.  They had to give me a shot of RhoGamm because I am RH negative and so anytime there is bleeding during pregnancy I will need this.  It will make sure that my body doesn't build antibodies to future babies since my children are more than likely all RH positive like Wes.  The doctor said that bleeding during pregnancy is very common.  She said that while she can't tell me why I was bleeding for sure, she can tell me that everything is completely fine.  

The bleeding had stopped and I was relieved.  However, again this morning when I woke up I was spotting again.  I wasn't so nervous because I had just seen the babies yesterday and they were fine.  I called the office when it opened and the nurse said that I may have it for the next few days because of the vaginal ultrasound they had done yesterday.  Again the spotting stopped and I am calmer.  I just wish there was no bleeding whatsoever.  Our next appointment is December 22nd and I am so glad because I couldn't stand waiting several weeks.  

The other thing that confused me is that my due date has not been moved however each time I go there I am not correct about how far along I am.  I swear they are changing that.  Originally it used to be that I started the next week on Mondays.  Then it moved to Tuesdays.  Now they said yesterday that I was 12 weeks and 5 days  ( I thought that I was 13 weeks, 1 day).  So now apparently I will be 13 weeks tomorrow and the start of each new week begins on Fridays.  Confusing stuff!  Oh well.  Everything is okay and I am at ease.  All I want is to have healthy babies.  I am hoping that the rest of the pregnancy does not include any more scares.  

The new ultrasound pics look almost exactly like last weeks so I decided not to post them because scanning them in is a little annoying! :)

Moving along!

I am about to begin week 13, which is the last week of my first trimester! Woo hoo! I do realize that I will become more uncomfortable as the pregnancy progresses and I become larger than a house but up to this point it has been a piece of cake. Ok the headaches suck, but if that is all I have to endure then I could be pregnant forever. I love this. It is so amazing to think about all that my body is doing to create the 2 lives growing inside of me. I absoltely cannot wait to feel them moving. I read in my books and I've seen on the ultrasounds that they have been moving around inside of me for quite some time but they are just too small for me to feel it. The first time I feel it is going to be so amazing.

We got some awesome news on Friday. My sister found out that she is having a little girl! Sophia Grace (we will call her Sophie) should be making her appearance in late April. I love everything about my nephew, Will, and so I cannot wait to meet this little girl. I was babysitting Will Friday night while my sister and Craig had a work Christmas party. I felt a little sad when I was cuddling with him before I put him to sleep because I am very close to Will. I spend a lot of time with him and I pretty much always know what is happening in his little world. That makes me sad because since Sophie will be born in late April and I will probably have my babies in the middle of May I won't get the chance to bond with her as often as I do with Will. He and I will always have that special connection I think just because he was a major part of what got Wes and I through our hard times of trying. We spent so much time with him and he filled the "baby time" we needed. He is also our Godson. I will always cherish that relationship and I will just have to try extra hard to have the time to do the same with my sweet little niece. Either way those two children are more than blessed to have the awesome parents that they do. Sophie wouldn't notice a difference because she will be so loved and well cared for. My sister is the most amazing mother. She always knows what Will needs and when he needs it. He is honestly such a good, happy, content and well-rounded little boy and that is thanks to how he is being raised! I hope with all of my heart that I can be the same kind of mother to my twins.

12 weeks!

Today we had our third ultrasound. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow so the babies are much more human-like now! They are almost exactly the same size and everything looked perfect. Their heart rates are 158 and 164, which is exactly where they should be. What a relief to have no complications. It was a wonderful day for Wes and I. It continues to amaze us to watch our babies grow. Each appointment is more exciting than the last.

We go back on December 22nd just for the monthly check-up and we won't get an ultrasound at that appointment. We will have the BIG ultrasound in January (and yes we are finding out but not telling until the shower - so please don't ask because that is going to be so hard for me to keep a secret) and then every appointment from that point on the doctor is planning to do an ultrasound to be sure that the babies are growing together and that they are the same size. I am considered high risk and so that is a precautionary measure, but we love it because we get to see our angels so often!

Here is what they looked like today:
This is a view of the tops of their heads. This is the only one we got that they are both in. They are just too big now!
These are all Baby A - I can't wait until we can call them by name instead of Baby A and Baby B!
And this is Baby B - look how incredibly precious these pictures are. The baby is sucking it's thumb! Oh my goodness, I cannot wait wait to meet these little miracles!!!!!!!!!! We were such a proud mommy and daddy today!

Sweet Sounds

Today Wes and I heard our babies' heartbeats for the first time.  The nurse had told us at our last appointment that we would get to hear them when we came today and that we would have an ultrasound at every appointment.  The doctor said that it was maybe too early (11 weeks today) to hear the heartbeat and that she wasn't going to do an ultrasound either.  We were a little bummed.  She did the exam and when she was finishing up she asked if we had any other questions.  Wes looked sad and asked if we couldn't just try to see if we could hear the heartbeats.  She just didn't want us to get worried if we didn't hear them because the ultrasound portion of the office was closed and it could just be too early.  She didn't want us to get worked up over nothing.  But then she said "oh alright, he looks so sad".  I was glad because I wouldn't have asked but I was bumming.  She brought the sonogram machine over and after a few second she found a heartbeat.  It was the sweetest wooshing sound.  Then she said it may be hard to pick out two different heartbeats.  She moved it to the other side of my belly and that heartbeat was much louder.  It was such an amazing feeling.  We had seen their hearts beating at our previous ultrasounds, but hearing it is so much better.  It made everything even more real for us!  

The other good news is she decided to do an ultrasound on Monday, just to have a baseline for the size of my uterus.  So we will get to see them one day before 12 weeks.  After that she said we will have an ultrasound at every appointment after 20 weeks.  So I'm thinking we won't be having the BIG ultrasound until the end of January......that's sooooo far away.  I'm so curious to know what is growing inside of me.  I have a feeling that there is at least one girl in there.  I have no idea why, I just do.

The other thing we discussed is how long I will carry  the babies.  She said I need to get to 24 to 26 weeks for a chance of survival.  After 28 weeks their odds are much better.  If I get to 32 weeks we can breathe a sigh of relief and if I get to 35 weeks we are "golden".  She also said that if I would happen to get to 38 weeks she would say enough and we would have the babies then.   She slightly discussed c-sections, but said we had time to think about that.  I really didn't want that but the odds are I will have to.  She said if both babies are head down and ready to go,  I could still end up having one by c-section.  My thought is why have pain in both places?  We will see as time goes by what the babies will be deciding for me anyways.  It is just crazy to think that in 6 months I will be a mother of 2!!!!!!!!  Life is great!!!!!!!!!!!

Rough Weekend

This weekend I drove straight from my literacy conference in Columbus to Findlay for Genoa's big state semi-finals football game.  We lost but it was a great game.  I finally got home around 11:00 and then went straight to bed for what I was hoping would be a long relaxing night of sleep.  However, I was awakened by the horrible pinching pain in my head.  This was the second weekend in a row that I got a migraine.  This one was worse.  It started at 4:00 a.m. and this pain like someone was squeezing my brain happened about every other minute for 3 hours.  Finally at 7:00 it stopped and I got to sleep for like an hour.  When I woke up for the day I felt nauseous and had the most horrible headache.  I could not get out of bed or open my eyes.  Lights and sound hurt so bad.  I spent the entire day in bed.  I only got up to shower but felt like I was going to pass out in the shower, so back to bed I went.  Sunday was more of the same.  Even though I was in bed, I couldn't sleep because the pain was so bad.  Finally, Sunday around noon I called the doctor and they said I  needed to go the ER because they couldn't prescribe anything over the phone.

We got to the hospital and they gave me a shot of Nubane and some Zofrane (sp.?) for the nausea.  I felt a little better but completely woozy and out of it.  We went to my parents house and I laid around at their house all day.  I took today (Monday) off of work because I again woke up with a headache.  It is just now subsiding slightly.  We go to the doctor for our next ultrasound tomorrow and I am going to discuss this with her.  It was completely debilitating all weekend.  I can't take much because I'm pregnant but I was so uncomfortable.  Hopefully this is not an every weekend thing.  I am 11 weeks pregnant and most of my books say that the hormonal headaches lessen with the second trimester because my hormones will balance out and my body will become used to being pregnant.  I sure hope so because that starts next week for me.  

On a side note, I love my mom so much.  She stopped over after she got out of work today to check on me.  I was starting to feel better so she helped get my butt in gear.  Wes and I are procrastinators when it comes to cleaning and organizing our little house.  We don't have enough space for all of our stuff (just imagine when the babies are here!!!!!) and we get overwhelmed with finding a place for things.  I also hate ironing more than anything so that was piling up.  My mom has been taking home some of my ironing whenever she stops over and today she helped me organize a bunch of things in our bedroom.  I wish I had the drive to do those things on my own but I am just tired and don't care.  But once it is done,  I always appreciate the help!  I hope that this changes for me because I would like to think that I will do that for my kids.  She learned it from her mom, hopefully I will too.  We'll see!

Maternity Clothes

Ok, so as I said I am starting to show and it has become increasingly uncomfortable to wear my regular pants. All of my work pants are completely uncomfortable without the bella band. So today my mom and I went shopping before and after our lunch with the girlies of our family. We went to Old Navy, Kohl's, and Babies R' Us. It was so much fun. I found some great deals on cute tops and a dress at Old Navy. My major downfall is pants. I have no hips and I swear that all maternity pants are designed for curvier women. This just doesn't work for me. But then when we walked into Gap I found the most wonderful things- maternity jeans and dress pants that fit me!!!!!! Hallelujah!

The major downfall is they are ridiculously expensive. Luckily my sister gave me a 30% off coupon and so now I will be comfortable and fashionable! Thank you Gap gods!!

Happier Thoughts

Now that I got my work issues off of my chest I can talk about the things that make me happy in life. I felt that this needed its own post because I do not want any of my negativity towards my job to rub off on my beautiful babies! I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and happy to report that I feel awesome. I had headaches every day for about a month straight but (knock on wood) none in last few days. Besides the headaches, I'm exhausted. But that is it!!!! I do not feel nauseous (sp?) at all. The doctor says that all is well and at our appointment the babies were definitely growing and moving! I guess I am just one of those lucky pregnant people. (Before any of you who were sick a lot get annoyed at that comment, think about what I went through to get here - it is similar to the people who told me that "they weren't even trying to get pregnant" or "it was an oops baby") I deserve one easy part of reproduction! If it makes you feel better I have had to get up to pee in the middle of the night every night since before I even knew I was pregnant.

My stomach is definitely sticking out more, but until my belly button pops out I just kind of feel fat. Wes picked me up two of the tummy tubes, or bella bands, that hold up your "normal" pants. That was a god send. Today was my first day that I didn't have to rush home to change into my jammies because I was so uncomfortable. I can just leave my pants unbuttoned and the band holds them up! Amazing! Wes also got me a really cute shirt that says "Baby makes the belly go round". I love my husband more than anything!

We go to our regular OB on Friday for our first appointment with them. We are actually only meeting with the nurse to go over medical history and all that jazz. Our first appointment with the doctor will be on the 25th. I cannot believe how fast this is all going. At that point I will be 11 weeks! Time flies when you're having fun.

My only negative experience so far during this pregnancy came when we were down visiting Wes' family. One of his step-mom's family members decided I would probably want to hear about all of the sets of twins that she knew where one or both of the babies died. She rattled off three different stories to me about this. Common sense should have told her to shut her mouth and think before she said something really thoughtless. I didn't know what to say and she had me backed into a corner. I just kind of nodded and walked away as soon as I could. Looking back I would now have asked her how she could possibly think I would want to hear that. But I didn't so now I just know that I will be staying away from her at all family functions and not speaking to her about my pregnancy. If you don't have enough common sense to realize that would be a really stupid story to tell a person who is carrying twins, then I have nothing to say to you. Thank you very much! Look at me go I'm all nerved up again. Time to relax and unwind so that I can enjoy what is left of my evening.

Meet Our Gummi Bears!

We got to see our babies again today and it was amazing. They were wiggling around and their hearts were beating strong and steady. It was the coolest thing we've ever seen before. We are now released to Dr. Kanios, our regular OB, and Dr. Karnitis, the fertility specialist, said all looks wonderful. He says I am through the hard part. Well, until the babies are here and I'm totally stressed. It was so nice to see the doctor and the nurses who have been such a huge part of our lives for the last year and half. They were all so happy for us and said they want to see pictures of the babies!

Here is the first picture of our twins at 6 weeks and 3 days:





And here they are at 8 weeks and 3 days. I love the caption that Dr. Karnitis put on it. It says Hi Grandma and Grandpa from the Twins!!!

8 weeks and counting...

So everyone already knows that we are having twins by now and the thought has finally sunk in.  I cannot even imagine what our lives will be like once they arrive but we are so excited.  We had our first ultrasound on October 23rd and as soon as it came on the screen I knew it.  There were two very distinct blobs (I say that with all the love in my heart because they are my babies) with beating hearts.  We were not told the heart rate but that everything looked as good as it possibly could at that point.  I measured 6 weeks and 3 days and the doctor said I was due in the middle of June.  However, with twins the gestational period is about a month shorter so they will probably arrive around the middle of May.  

We go back on Thursday, when I will be 8 weeks and 3 days, and the babies should look like little gummy bears.  They have arms and legs and eyes.  I'm so excited.  I have felt very good minus the headaches that I have every day and I'm exhausted by the end of the day.  But no nausea which I appreciate but it makes me nervous.  I just want to see that everything is progressing as it should.  I have no reason to believe otherwise, but I'm on edge from what happened before and because I have a high-risk pregnancy because it is twins.  I'm trying to stay positive and think of all the amazing changes that are taking place every day inside my body.  I am growing two humans!!!!! That is an amazing miracle!

Wes and I started to discuss names.  We have always loved Mya and Parker, so if it is one of each we will definitely name them that.  If it is two boys we like Parker Paul and Tate Thomas.  If it is two girls we like Mya Claire and possibly Stella Grace.  I also really love the name Lucy.  I am working on Wes with that one.  We do have time to think about this but this is probably one of the biggest decisions we will make.  It will be with them for life and so I want to be sure that we really love it.  Suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!!

Waiting....and Healing

Our first ultrasound is on Thursday and I am starting to get very antsy.  I want to hear or see the heartbeat and just know that this is for real.  I also can hardly stand guessing if it is just one baby or two.  I think it is probably just one but my mom says she has a feeling that it is twins and I guess I have my suspicions.  Either way we will be thrilled but we just want to know.  The ultrasound is also not until 3:40 in the afternoon so I have to teach for the whole day before I get to go.  AHHHHH!  I'm hoping that the day flies by.  Wes has talked to his principal and will be allowed to leave at 3:15 so that he is there on time to see our little one for the first time!  It seems so unreal to be able to finally say this!  I have honestly never been happier in my life.

Yesterday Wes, my mom and I went to "A Walk to Remember" sponsored by Tiny Purpose.  A support group for women dealing with pregnancy and infant loss.  We drove up to Adrian, MI to this most beautiful park.  It was such a nice day.  We got t-shirts that said walking in memory of Baby Rethman on the back.  Also, when we got there they gave us 2 balloons and tags to write a message to our baby and add the date.  We then walked through the beautiful park to the cemetary where they had a beautiful angel statue dedicated to anyone who has grieved the loss of a child.  They had a speaker, singers, a poem and then they read each baby's name and we released our balloons.  Also, when we walked through the park they had all of the babies' names on signs along the way.  They even took the time to go back and turn the signs around so that we could read them walking to the cemetery and on the way back.  It was a very sad and healing day.  I will always remember our angel and it was just such a nice tribute.  Mom said she really enjoyed it as well and I was so glad she was there to support us.  I am hoping to do this walk again.  I want to set aside this time to honor the life that this child should have had.  It is easy for others to forget because there is no physical reminders for anyone else.  But for me, my first baby will always have a special place in my heart.  It is not something I ever want to forget.  Just because I will not get to meet that baby until I get to heaven doesn't mean that he or she doesn't deserve loving thoughts and special time set aside just for him/her.  I will love all of my children no matter what.

Answered Prayers

Life as Wesley and I know it changed on the morning of Friday, October 3rd. We have been trying to get pregnant ever since we got married - 27 months ago!!!! Yes, that is almost 2 1/2 years of ups and downs and heartache. It was definitely a true test of our marriage, because there was nothing more me we wanted in life than to be parents. Between doctors appointments, tests being done, injecting myself with medicines and timed "alone time" we were incredibily stressed. This was not at all what we had imagined. We just assumed that this was something that comes easily, as it does for most people. You can not imagine the hatred I felt for the teenage mothers and unplanned pregnancies I encountered over these last few years. It was such a horrible feeling because it is not their fault that we struggled but it just seemed easier to blame someone. And then finally in January of 2008 we found out we were pregnant! We found out on the12th (a Saturday). The world was a blur. We couldn't be happier. We were 6 weeks along and walking on air. I went for my blood work on Monday and found out that the numbers were low. I had a repeat test that Wednesday and found out that the pregnancy was most likely ectopic, as the numbers were not any better. We went on Thursday, January 17th to get an ultrasound to confirm the news. We were told that it was ectopic and we would need to terminate the pregnancy. There is no survival rate for the baby and it can also be fatal for the mother. Finding out that I was finally pregnant and then having to get a "medical abortion" was the most crushing thing I have ever had to deal with. As the doctor was giving me the shot that stopped our baby's development, part of my heart died. I have never felt emotions like I did that day. It was absolutely horrible. It was followed with months of physical pain as it takes a while to pass and even longer emotional heartbreak.

Finally, last Friday (Oct. 3rd) I woke up to use the restroom at 5:00 a.m. and decided to take a pregnancy test even though I didn't really think it was going to happen for us this month. (We had done an IUI for the first time but I just felt like I was going to start a period). To my absolute shock there were 2 PINK LINES!!!!! I ran screaming into the bedroom to tell Wes the news and was shaking so badly. I took a half day of work so that I could get my blood drawn before we left for California the next day. The results came back and the numbers were even higher than they needed to be. We had an amazing long weekend in California and when we got back I had another blood test done to be sure the numbers were doubling as they were supposed to. Those results came back stating that once again my numbers were even higher than they needed to be and everything looked great.



Now we wait for the first ultrasound which is on October 23rd. We will get to hear the heartbeat and find out how many babies are in there. As I said we used fertility drugs and there is always that risk of multiples. We would be absolutely fine with twins, but are hoping for just one as that is healthier for me and the baby. So, our world has been flipped upside down and we could not possibly be happier. We have told our families and friends and we cannot wait to experience everything to come over the next eight months. We thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers that have been sent our way throughout this whole time. God bless you all!