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this is luis, checking out my pc. i know my brother misses his kids so much. Nanay cried early today cause she misses kuya. My sister, brother and I have never been away for so long from our parents. Needless to say that we are tightly binded. That's precisely the reason why my friends tell me that I'm tied to my mom's apron strings. I miss kuya too-- cause we always joke around and I get to learn pointers from him. But then I have the internet, I get to send him mail..whenever I feel like.

posted by jaded fool @ 10:58 AM

kyle eating ice cream...

posted by jaded fool @ 10:52 AM

these are my kuya's kids... my nephew and niece. =D they look like me!

posted by jaded fool @ 10:50 AM

bon voyage

Yaku will be leaving for Saudi Arabia tonight at 11 pm. We'll be bringing him to the Airport... that is if the agency would not be bringing them. He signed a straight 2 year contract. Why is he leaving? It is because this forsaken country can't afford to give him a good paying job!! fuck.. this fucked up economy is breaking homes. Last week, Ate Heisen flew for the Middle East to be a LifeGuard, and she doesn't even know how to do CPR. Tsk...

ME? I still don't have a job-- the last interview I had left me thinking I'm irresponsible when I'm not. I am afraid of responsibility and I try to escape them if I can. But once it is there-- I stood by it. and that's the truth! I guess they just can't afford my services, that's all.

I hope my kuya will be treated well... and he would not have a hard time adjusting to new climate, culture, faces, and society. And I hope he would not absorb all the bad smell of the people there. Hehehehe...

God Keep you Kuya.

posted by jaded fool @ 9:44 AM

personality exam!

I went to D. Corporation for my final interview... and it sucked BIG TIME! The results of my exam was ok, however, i got one tiny problem. According to the results of my persoality exam-- i have a problem with responsibility.

Does it mean that i am irresponsible?

Uhmm.. come to think of it.. i can't even be responsible for myself. i can't take care of myself. YAIKS!

I hope that i'll be given a break. I need to develop the skill of being "responsible". Tsk.

posted by jaded fool @ 1:53 PM

I'm off for the final interview tomorrow. I just hope that things will go smoothly and finally, my bumming days will soon be over. I hope for so many things.. I pray for all of them everynight. I'm letting God drive my life... he has the driver's seat and I see to it that my hands are off the steering wheel.

posted by jaded fool @ 8:38 PM

what

I really want to find work soon.. been saying it for the last three months. Savings is slowly draining with so many withdrawals than deposits. Bills are piling up. Hayy.. Everybody got their own problems to solve. And here I am, pretending to be cool. Wish I could go back to my old work. Fuck those people who promised to help me.

I'm going to an examination tomorrow. It's part of their selection process. I know God will save me. He's the only one can.

posted by jaded fool @ 9:58 PM

ponder

Something happened today.. well actually something happened last night. It was embarassing. Embarassment to the highest level. Today, this thought just popped inside my head and I wonder if someone out there have experienced this too.

1. I have decided growing old with someone who have decided to find the future with someone else.

2. Decision to share yourself with only that person.

These are thoughts that I pondered on today. Sadly.. it brought me nothing but misery.

posted by jaded fool @ 7:42 PM

part time love

Part time love
by bread

I need somebody who’s consistent with me
Someone already there when I need company
Cause when I’m feeling low
I don’t want have to go out looking
For a part time kind of love

When the dreams and rainbows start to disappear
Don’t want somebody up and running outta here
Cause when you stop and start.
Baby it just get too hard upon my heart
With a part time kind of love

And I can’t take you darling living here wait and see
I want somebody who’s committed now to me
Somewhere, someday you’ll have to take a chance
So if you like the music baby get up and dance

And if we grow together daring to dream
I know we’ll find our share of peaches and cream
And when the juices flow
I don’t want no, no excuses
‘ just want your fulltime love for me
Just want your fulltime love for me.

posted by jaded fool @ 10:39 AM

hello world.. just got home from looking a job. Thereafter we went out from some drinks. And I could say that I'm so fucking fucking fuckkinngggg drunk! I know I did again some things to be ashamed of.. but what the heck.. at least i got it out of my system. It is out there in the open waiting to die.

posted by jaded fool @ 9:57 PM

this is me.. wasting my time away. hehehe.. nah. just checking out this new product of Blogger. Isn't Blogger the greatest? They just keep on coming up with new bright ideas! I'm so glad that I'm with Blogger! Hehehehhe.. Kudos Kudos!

posted by jaded fool @ 1:55 PM

my friends and i when we still have time for each other.

posted by jaded fool @ 12:54 PM

tsk

I should have not done it. I should have left it all alone. I promised myself that I would not be reading what has been written there. But I'm stubborn-- now I'm feeling sad...shitty.. that I have to remember the old feelings.. the passion once there. It left me wondering, where did it all go? How come they disappeared overnight? How come I am still feeling this way? I know I should be planning how to lead my life alone-- but sometimes when I'm thinking, I end up including X in my dreams.

I should have not read it then I would not remember.. now i'm again in pain..

tsk.

I just don't learn.

posted by jaded fool @ 8:14 PM

restore

Yesterday's lesson in Purposed Driven Life was about restoration of broken relationships. How hard it is to swallow your pride and approach the other party to clear things up and eventually reconcile. But what do you do when you swallowed your pride and the other party does not want to restore the broken relationship? It is disheartening when the other party is not cooperating or when they do things that makes you feel stupid or less of a person.

Here are some of the points that made me ponder:

1. Relationships are worth restoring.
2. Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. when you expect anyone to meet a need that only God can fulfill, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and bitterness. No one can meet all of your needs except God.
3. You are only hurting yourself with anger.
4. We all act beastly when hurt.
5. We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences.

I am learning everyday.

posted by jaded fool @ 1:50 AM

how?

How do you unlike someone? How do you unlike someone without hating them? Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Could anyone out there tell me how to unlike a person that has played an important role in my life?

Sometimes I wish that emotions can easily be taken off, then we would not have a problem when a person decides to make you unlike them. The only way I could unlike someone is when I started to hate them. I don't know any other way.

I wish I could just forget everything and do what is asked of me. I wish I could deliver this last expectation. I wish...

posted by jaded fool @ 9:19 PM

tweedledum

Have you ever felt sad and relieved at the same time? It is so weird... I am feeling so chaotic right now and I'm not sure what feeling prevails over me. It feels like every cell in my body keeps on moving around.

I am sad that I have to let go of something I've become accustomed to. Something that has become an important part of me. Similarly, I am relieved that I will no longer cause anybody pain. It's a long long way to go but I'm positive that I will reach it. It never was easy to let go-- but one day, somehow you'll just learn to forget.

I still don't have a job, but it doesn't bother me that much anymore. God will provide for me. He will give me what I am praying for all in the right time. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the comfort of our home and take care of my family. I'm going back to writing I guess... and let it all out until I no longer feel this unstable feeling that I have.

posted by jaded fool @ 9:20 PM

back!

Finally, after three long weeks... i'm finally back! I missed writing so much!! Hmm... Last night at around 10 i think, an earthquake hit the Philippines.. It was so strong my sister in law was on the verge of freaking out. The water inside the aquarium shakes like somebody's splashing the water inside of it. It was really scary specially when it reminded me of the 1990 earthquake.

It was measured at 6.2 at the richter scale. The epicenter was in Oriental Mindoro. But with all the shakings I experienced, I was convinced that Bulacan was the epicenter of the quake.

posted by jaded fool @ 1:16 AM

rants and ramblings