Friday, June 29, 2012

weekend getaway.. NOT!

after all the hoola baloo, i fell asleep thinking everything is already settled... my flight is booked and i just need to worry about packing. a family emergency arises, but i have already set my mind in going away. i woke up early today cause i need to pack for the weekend. i got my backpack and reported for work as usual. then it just went out there-- i don't have anywhere to go to tonight and i don't have a booked flight. when i was asked if i would go (for the Nth time) i just have to say No. So I am going home tonight.. with my bag.. and my weekend plan. goodtimes.

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posted by jaded fool @ 10:37 AM  

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

and so it goes...

I hate it when I let my emotions run high.. And I start to question myself if this is what I want. I can't help but be vulnerable to her existence. It's just something I cannot ignore. So I gave in. I dwelled in the pleasure of her company as long as I can.. I willed time to slow down, even for once. Her scent captivated me. Capturing me in that moment. But I dare not interpret the things more than what they really are. I will not open myself to that kind of torture. I just can't go throught that again. My heart is prepared not to hear from her but it didn't stop me from peeking at my phone. Whatever goes on that part of her life is hers and I know I do not have the right to intrude. I will listen to her if she needs someone, I will see her whenever she can...and in a higher form of love, she would alys be mine and I hers. We're like raindrops..we go where the wind takes us. Until that moment that fate and time would make it happen.. Life goes on.

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posted by jaded fool @ 9:35 PM  

Sunday, June 24, 2012

seeing the light

imagine yourself living your whole life in the blurry and dim lighted world. It sucks, right? I am just glad that it's over for our baby boy. After he was seen by an optha yesterday, we found out that he was born with a blurred vision. He was required to wear 250 gr glasses. We all felt bad for him and suddenly understands why he's quite slow with reading and spelling. He was not seeing clearly thats why he's stepping on everyone's toes and bumping people. But we're glad we found it out and we were able to find solution for it. I could not imagine myself living in the dark. Somehow, my light always shines through. Happy family day, blogger. :)

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posted by jaded fool @ 10:34 AM  

Monday, June 18, 2012

let's write

I have to admit we've become strangers. Funny that we used to know each other so well. At least we are not enemies.. And i'm sure if ever we'd see each other- I could look at her and say hello. It used to be so hard seeing her go.. I choke when we have to say goodbye. I used to think of our could have beens. But all these are just things from my past.. Something I have outgrown. I can even go on a day without thinking of her. Cause what is there to think about? To hope about? Nothing. All we have are just memories. A thing of of the past. Our chance. Sadly, it didn't work out no matter how hard we tried. It caused us buckets of tears and disappointments..but i'd rather be reminded of the laughters we shared, the friendship that we developed and the lessons we learned from each other. it is nice to remember that once in our lives, we were each other's everything. So i'll live my life and soon I know i'd be talking about new people and how my relationship with them bloomed or fail. I will still be writing of my laughter. My tears and whatevr that may happen in between. For today, I can safely say I am over you.

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posted by jaded fool @ 8:52 PM  

Sunday, June 17, 2012

tempted

I was contented with my life with work, family, friends and retail theraphy. Until loneliness found me. It could be the weather.. Or my hormones..or lack of it. But it was something unwelcome. I started wishing again.. Hoping to finally find the one. I started longing for someone to cuddle, laugh or cry with. I miss the fights and make up sessions. I guess I just miss being someone special. To be someone's everything. Then people from my past re-appeared, which made me feel more depressed. They made me feel like a hobby. Someone to be bothered when they're bored.. Which is precisely why I didn't bother to reply. But to be honest, despite feeling that way.. My loneliness is tempting me to even say hi. Before I sleep I think i'll ponder on this thought: what if we were really meant to be and you're just too afraid to take the risk? Goodnight, blogger. Sing me to sleep.

posted by jaded fool @ 8:54 PM  

Saturday, June 16, 2012

thoughts in my head

It would have been nice having someone who would do everything just to be with you. This has been ringing in my head the whole day.. And each time, I always give a deep sigh. Not of relief but a sigh of impatience. When will I ever find that one person this universe had created for me? What if I already met that person and let the chance passed me by? That would really suck. Big time. I feel time is running out as if im in a race or something. Whatever it is that my heart is longing for, I hope itll get to me soon enough. Before I give up and surrender. I am ready for it. Come find me.

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posted by jaded fool @ 9:53 PM  

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

transit of venus

today the second and last transit of venus happened. It refers to the journey of venus in front of the sun and based on the records, it is only the 8th time that this had happened. it usually happens in pairs and we had the first transit last 2004. the next transit will happen in 2117. so goodluck in watching the next transit. speaking of moving on.. my lola mag passed on this afternoon. she had waited for this for a long time..i know she wanted to rest but the feeling of lost is still strong. losing someone is never easy, no matter what the circumstances are. it is still painful. i pay tribute to a wonderful woman. a woman who gave me my loving father. a true doting lola until the end. and though we seldom see each other-- or be together, she had loved me and spoiled me cause i am her apo. i learned to love the market because she and my lolo simeon once owned a stall in the market. she loved selling and interacting with people. a singer by heart and a loving mother by profession. To you lola mag, i say thank you for the wonderful summers that we have spent together. For loving me simply because i am onie and not anybody else. I love your simplicity, strength and courage and admire you for all the trials you have overcome. to this woman here, we love you.

Rest in peace Lola Mag.

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posted by jaded fool @ 10:17 PM