Yesterday was PESA, i din't make it thru but i've made new friends. Erica, Gary, Cherylyn, Cheryl, JJ...all part of a list of people who i got to know at the event.
Just that singapore's a little too small to know lol..Turns out Cherylyn from Gan Eng Seng was supposed to have faced me off at the Julia Gabriel's debates. What a co-incidence...that barely 4 months later, i meet her. She fell sick on the day of the debates and did'nt meet me then but by pure chance or as she put it...fate..she met me at PESA. How odd is that? Its kinda disturbing to know thats its as though fate wanted us to meet one way or another. While i'm not one for hocus pocus and fate, is it a sign that means something? I've got no idea and i can't say i assume anything. Previous experiances tells me to expect otherwise. She's a nice girl anyway, not exactly 100% pretty, her behaviour tells me that she's a smart intelligent person, she looks alright to me but vaguely to a large degree when i look at her i'm reminded of someone...Monica from church. They similarities between them are almost uncanny. Except Mon has a loud voice and a behaviour that disturbs me or chills me to the bone, while Cherylyn has a behaviour that sort of reminds me of Mel, quiet untill spoken to and such.
Among others was Erica...another person i found rather disturbingly similar to someone i know...She too is a nice girl, very friendly, quite joyous and such. She looks alright to me and seems to be someone of high standards of upbringing. She reminds me of Amelia Dizon....very similar, the face too has similarities that make it true. The similarity however is not as uncanny as the one i made above. I read from her behaviour, shes a good person. She's quite a good speaker too!
Among the guys, Chocolate icecream boy lol...he seemed to have made my day. I was rather hungry at PESA and his chocolate icecream speech made me hungry...
I gotta study for the Maths mock tommorw, i'm so screwed cuz i'm weak at maths besides my mother tongue..i don't wanna come back on Saturday just to sit another test. If any one who reads my blog thinks i'm being sexist in my above content about who i spoke about, i deeply apologize, too many to count its because of the similarities to certain people in my life were just so evident in them that i just had to relate them here. Out of here...
Ingenious augmentation! Do not underestimate the power of the people. The people should not be afraid of the leader but the leader should be afraid of us, the people!
6/28/2006 08:54:00 pm
Sunday, June 25, 2006I hate losing tourny matches especially against one that causes me to lose reputation, i may have been top player for the team but that dosen't help shit. We lost, Stella is not going to let me rest through this. She's going to gloat till i drop dead at the next FUEL gathering...
School starts tommorow, tests bombarding, Investiture, Concert all at once. I hate this busy schedule. I HATE SCHOOL I HATE MRS CHOI AND HER FKED UP TEST EVERYDAY SHIT! ITS NOT EVEN FKING NECESSARY!....but when Anger abates and acceptance sets in there is nothing more to say..
I spent the whole holiday doing neither of profitable things. I did'nt study well, neither did i play well, to be honest this holiday has not been very productive...at all..I could'nt do anything well at all. Camps, school , camps , CCA , school. With so much shit to do, how the F am i supposed to study or play anything at all. Even if i wanted to study i had no time. Even if i wanted to play i had no time. The time which i could spend doing some work or as much time off i could afford is pointless. I still have PESA on tuesday DAMMIT. This school would'nt be so messed up hadn't it not been for that BIATCH. She heck kare school reputation, she only cares about academics, she bosses the teachers and the principal himself. What kind of school is this? Stupidity. I hate her and her stupid act nice attitude, if anyone thought she was nice i'd kick him or her in their arse.
Nothing bothers me more then facing an entire semester of shit being thrown at us. Lots of tests which could be used as revision being thrown at us. OUR INVESTITURE AND CONCERT AINT OVER DAMMIT, COULD YOU AT LEAST WAIT 3 WEEKS? With so much to do, and so little time, this definately does not help very much. It dosen't bother me at all that she was with another guy today, not at all because even if i did feel worried what makes me think i'll survive the weeks of tests on end? It'll take god's help to get me and my friends out of this shithole, make choi transfer i don't know. Get her away from us.
6/25/2006 10:57:00 pm
Wednesday, June 21, 2006This is rather depressing aint it? We try so hard to make something work out but it flops. Fuel Maties yall know what i'm talking about. Our Exco put up a gathering to make our time together enjoyable. It was a hell of a ride for the past 4 years journeying together in our faith, but now we're at the end of the road, it dosen't mean we should just sit back and do nothing. We should as a group bond better. We must show better attitudes during the gatherings. While talking to each other is not banned, be courteous and don't talk at the top of your voices ( if i'm guilty of that i'll slap myself ). Disturbing...very...disturbing...
Whats more...under the table issues...try not to say it so loudly...its kinda meant for private discussions?
Moving on to personal life...Tommorow student council camp...this is going to be fun....:eyes roll: i ain't going to enjoy it but i'm going to make the best of my time there. My books will be coming for a ride with me :P. History and SS. I've got my camera set and all necessary equipment ready. Just to add..i still don't have a confirmed computer to work with...worse come to worse i'll reformat the council PC...games all round yall :X...
I still can't pull myself together...i can't stop thinking about that night in november 2005. Lovely....touching....inspiring....romantic.....
wait...Romantic??
Here's something i remember from one of my cousins...
When the computer was first invented. Pentium 1 games were the hit...we thought hey this rocks! The Gameboy and Nintendo, we were like AWESOME!. The SEGA and then the PS, HOLY SHIT COOLZ!!. Now in the era of the Xbox, Pentium 4 , PS2 and shitz, we look back at it all and we go WTF how did we ever enjoy those?
By the way i'm playing with the fonts because i'm really bored...i like trebuchet, its nice!
Stoned..Stoned...Stoned
I'll say it loud i'd say it proud
I love vng...
I did'nt say anything :X.....
Or did I?
I'm talking to myself again...sigh..
I know what i want to do after my O's however, i'd try to push my trip to Aus back a few days so Alfred dosen't have to be alone at the Sec 3 camp. Then after camp, PACK UP!! Off to Melbourne for a week of fun with Candel and SQ. Then back for AEOC. On christmas night...maybe i might make the biggest mistake i may ever make. But thats if i live till then. Or if i haven't done it then. O well haha...
6/21/2006 09:44:00 pm
Monday, June 19, 2006I'm feeling very bored...i had indigestion today...should have eaten less of that stuff at the party yesterday...i woke up this morning and could'nt go for band. I woke up twice in a row to phone calls. First one was Kai Ting...whoose call i missed as i rose to Te Deum...I woke up again this time to Siew huay's call and messaged back to their SMSes...Mum told me to stay in bed....so i stayed on in bed. By around 5 i felt alot better...i practiced on the flute and tried to play Bad day and Bro came home later and introduced the song piano man to me. Its so nice i tell ya lovely song...
Last saturday's ISP fair was alright...i woke up early and embaressed myself on the stage that morning. Damn sian lah...When walking into the faith formation room i nearly fainted. Sitting in the corner yes...her...she was right there. I could barely speak and stood awestruck for a while to get out of shock. As my senses came back i said out loud, Six go sit down and listen to the briefing. Then afterwards i said six go read the board first. As soon as they got bored i bolted out from the room. I can barely stand to be in her prescence. Sigh.... At around 3.30 we(FUEL) wrecked the Summons infront of the con 3....I rushed down for the wedding ( got $10 at choir next day for this) it was damn cool luh....the priest was the couple's son! So cool! The whole clergy there was related to the couple except Father Joe. After that i went to prata shop with Joven, Bren and Thomas. We sat down and chatted, Bren had to leave, we resumed talking about girls, paintball, more paintball and then guns. Lol! I went to 7-11 with Jo to get Clorets and accompanied him to the bus stop. When he left and i went back over i met Alfred. We walked back to church together. He wanted to go look for Luke and so we went in to the church and when we walked out...the million dollar girl walked out the legion room door. I could barely stay still. I quickly found a reason to speed off to the attic first. We went up put our stuff down where we waited for a while. Soon they came up too, she went to take a seat. Later i saw her go outside and stand near the window and stood there doing nothing like she was bored or something. I went down to fill up my water. I went up again and talked craps with the guys at the table. When the pizza came we decided to join with the guys next to us, so much so as she was merely 2 chairs ahead of me but at the table behind. I realized another common similarity. When she has no one familiar of the same gender around she flees and goes to join girls who she's not familiar with but can get along with. I realized i'm quite the same. I'm not comfortable being near girls without friends nearby unless one of the girls is my best friend. Or unless its just one person... I went on a long trip with Anthony because i needed to let out my frustation at my chickeness. When she left i did nothing...i sat and watched as i told Alfred...there goes the million dollar woman, out the door and into the night. Then he said go run after her lol. I refused lol too scared to do such a thing. Walked back with Alfred and later went home was damn tired...
Next morning woke me up at 6.30am..i was like WTF? I dunnid bathe ah? I was quite pissed. I told him to go first. When i took the bus i saw Aaron and Jon Ng on the bus. We walked to church after getting off. I quickly set up my stuff and quickly realised there was something wrong with the MICS as the mass started. Elizabeth did'nt know whether to play the mass parts but eventually she got up to play. After Mass went for breakfast with Hansel, Bren , Daniel and Joven. Joven was late because he woke up at 6.30 and the bus bypassed him. lol...
Thomas told me that she was at Faith Formation room. But i could'nt do anything...not now...we came back early and i let the choir hear the Mr Brown show. The EX NS man one. They found it ok lah. We practiced and ended abit late. We ended at 1pm + , Joven went down for a while and told me he saw Vanessa Mae ...i told him NOT HERE lol....I got his hint. I wanted to finish off and rush off to talk to her but got held up too long. Jo and I went to my place to chill off for awhile and left when Mum me we had to leave. We went to TP to get a present for che che wendy. We took a cab to cal's place. I slept the whole way. When we reached i ate and went on MSN hoping to see her but did'nt and i fell asleep in the chair instead. Woke up and we had to leave already lol. Came home played the AMP match and lost terribly. Woke up with this stupid indigestion today....zzz...shes online now but i can't bring myself to talk to her.
If you're reading this, give me a sign!!
On the moment's notice, this song is nice and its the piano man...heres the lyrics...
Piano man by Billy Joel
-----------
Its nine oclock on a saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
Theres an old man sitting next to me
Makin love to his tonic and gin
He says, son, can you play me a memory?
Im not really sure how it goes
But its sad and its sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger mans clothes
Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, were all in the mood for a melody
And youve got us feelin alright
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But theres someplace that hed rather be
He says, bill, I believe this is killing me.
As the smile ran away from his face
Well Im sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place
Now paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin with davy who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But its better than drinkin alone
Chorus
Its a pretty good crowd for a saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
cause he knows that its me theyve been comin to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin here?
Its rhythm is damn catchy....i love it!
Night its...11.52pm...
6/19/2006 11:28:00 pm
Friday, June 16, 2006
Our new recent victories. Thank the heavens and god above! We won. Our numbers did'nt come up today but to hell we won!!
Had lunch with Wei Sinn ,i was fixing his com at my place. While reformatting we went for lunch first and came back. Later went out again with mum and bro to swensen's and to get some new shoes. I rushed home for the match and i was quite anxious but we won by good fortune.
How long do i have to wait sigh.....How long till i can be at ease?, How long until i can feel happy? How long till the damn O's are over? How long till i can be with.......
6/16/2006 11:48:00 pm
Tuesday, June 13, 2006Today I have an essay which i typed in a matter of 2 hours over a period of 3 days.
This topic was given by Camillius a long time back. I took the initiative and wrote one under the same name. I think the person knows...I'm dead...
Paradox of our times
Paradox
Noun
(Communication) (Logic) a statement that contradicts itself; "`I always lie' is a paradox because if it is true it must be false"
The world is changing no doubt about it but for good or worse? There are many speculations about the way the human race is advancing in knowledge and technology. Technology's original purpose was to make our lives easier and simpler but on the contrary it has made living a lot more difficult. In the years where post was delivered by hand inter-continental mail was delivered in not days but most of the time weeks or months. Today E-mail makes instant communication possible. The days where a business deal used to take months to conclude are now long gone and that same task now takes merely a few days or weeks. Traveling too has changed, from horse-drawn carts and carriages we have the jet plane, motor vehicles and other far more efficient modes of transportation but at what cost? Harmful gases released by the engines of our creations that shorten the life span of the earth. Even our fuels consume the precious natural resources that we strive to preserve. In that case the idea that technology makes our lives simpler is not exactly true is it? While solving our personal problems we have created a greater range of problems with far more devastating effects!
Technology was meant to simplify life for humans but simplification is not always good now is it? Due to technology we have lost many qualities that made our race superior to all others. Humans used to work hard for everything but the more things got simpler, the lazier we became. Eventually we will lose other valuable qualities. Take this for example the ability to look for things. Imagine that your pager goes off, you do not have a cellular phone, and you search for a pay phone. Now you picture another case, you left your cellular phone at home, your old pager goes off, and you have not used or seen a pay phone for a long time. You try to look for a pay phone but you do not even know where to start looking. Technology does not make us smarter; it merely makes us rely on it that we eventually lose the ability to handle those tasks on our own without technology. What will happen to our noble race when our machines fail? It is a debatable issue because no one really knows what the human race would do. Invent more machines or return to the soil of which we end our noble history of our race?
Religion and science is a major debacle. Science defies things taught by religion and destroys our beliefs in our gods. Illogical? In the days when humans could do nothing about; illnesses or injury but pray to their god's and hope for miracle. Today reliance on technology defies our religions and allows humans to perform what used to be considered miracles. Religion was defied by our advances. There is a large mystery surrounding religions. Science and its works are advancing to destroy those mysteries and in that our religions. Why do people support the object that destroys all we ever believed in? It is because humans have become intolerant to believing in things they can not see and search for an answer to everything. They claim knowledge is power but is it worth destroying religion? The mysteries are undeniable, the coming of Jesus and the miracles he performed. Science and religion can not co-exist without some form of conflict. Human greed too has despoiled religion in the form of the Da Vinci code. The writer had no sensitive thoughts to the people whose religion he criticized so plainly in his attempt to sell his book.
Technology as I said before made life easier along with more time saved. Time can be argued as perceived or as a limited quantity. We complain that we have no time for anything but that contradicts the purpose of fast vehicles, aircraft and other conveniences which were meant to save time. Time is not perceived, it is limited as some people would hate to believe as there is only 24 hours in a day no more, no less. Even if I told myself I had time, I still only have 24 hours. With faster cars, computers and such time is supposed to be saved but what do we do with this saved time? We work even more! So there is no saved time and everyone hopes to do things quickly such that quality drops due to speed. What is the use of that? The man that owns everything in small numbers owns nothing. Having more work done at a low standard is pointless as we live in a world that demands quality over quantity.
The world thinks it is advancing for the better but on the contrary. It is advancing for the worse actually. From creating pollution, laziness, greed, speed and many more. It is then no longer right to say that the human race is advancing, but instead bringing destruction unto itself. The paradox of our times is such that the race is obsessed with making things so simple and easy that it forgets that there are important things to consider not just simplicity and other humanly factors.
6/13/2006 11:24:00 pm
Monday, June 12, 2006
Damn Max just scratched me...the scratch mark is damn long! It was damn painful!
Band camp is boring...exco meeting even more boring...but i have to....
6/12/2006 06:31:00 pm
Sunday, June 11, 2006
I'm missing her....I did'nt see her today. What a sad day...but we won the match. Cool!...
When .....will i be able to get her? Sigh....Reminiscing about the time.
6/11/2006 11:58:00 pm
Saturday, June 10, 2006I feel so elated, I just talked to her on Wednesday on MSN for 2 hours straight. I feel like the happiest man on earth. Seeing her name appear no longer makes me shake in fear but i feel like god is giving me a chance. God you give me your miricles but i have to work with my own hands to make them happen.
If i see her this Sunday....i'll take my chance
6/10/2006 12:05:00 am
Sunday, June 04, 2006Another day gone by...saw her today so close yet so far...i did'nt say anything...i'm just too scared of rejection. I don't know if i saw a hint because when i put something there and woke up there was more to it...i don't know is that a sign? I don't think so. If i like her that much i would tell her would'nt I? but i'm too scared. I'm in a dilemma. Work and Social life. Which means more to me? Currently my work and social life are unbalanced. My work is over my social life no matter how much i think of her. Maybe what i got in Sec 1 was the truth. Get a life. How do i do that? I have no life....
If you're reading this by any chance would you give me a sign. I would'nt know if you read this and i would'nt know a thing unless you told me. Give me a sign. A sign..A sign....
Sigh...The guys were over this afternoon what fun!....We finished practice. We walked down and started chatting and suddenly my eyes chanced upon a miricle. It was her. I was but a few metres away. What happened in november still lies in my mind and will always be there due to its meaning to me. I can't bring myself to say anything because i'm afraid of rejection.
Did you make it to be so difficult O god? Have you given me help and all i need do is but take a step forward? O God why could'nt you have made it easier for me? I appreciate your help but i'm afraid to act. I'm courageous is the face of other things but in this case. I'm a coward. Why? Why?
6/04/2006 11:54:00 pm
Saturday, June 03, 2006Week 1 of holiday gone by, sucky Star Program, but i benefit from it anyways...
Band is not far exciting a week of teaching sec 1's and playing....Yorkshire Ballad -_-...waste of time...
The NYP talk was a bunch of propaganda, the corporate video had propaganda splashed all over it....I dun think i'll go to NYP next year. Sick of it...
I've a feeling she did badly for O lvl's i've been reading in between the lines...if you're reading this, i feel for ya... I screw my Chinese too so .. same level yes?
Got my Rise of Nations: Rise of Legends cool man!
Tuesday and Thursday met up with Joven and practiced. On Tuesday we played till 9.30pm. On Thursdy until 4pm from 1pm.
Played CS with bro on Friday. He swears that some of them are cheating lol! But they are not.
Anyway yesterday's choir pract, was small but good. Joven, Hansel , myself , Shawn, Bro and Adrian. I had my chance of 1 hour to sing independantly.
I'm off