To Anonymous: With the best intentions
Before i start i want you to know that as of last night 10pm i officially repaired my relationship with Terence and you can ask him yourself if you see fit or if you don't trust me.
First i want to tell you the meaning of free will and personal property. I think you know what is free will because everyone, you and I alike use it everyday. In my religion, god gave us free will not to be abused but to do good. Anger is part of our free will just as much as happiness, sadness and all other emotions are. You and I both are human beings and have the emotions that all other humans have as well. When i get angry I rant about the person that is what i want to do with my free will, can't you just leave it be? I'm sure if you're angry you'd do something else but we don't know that do we? After free will , personal property is something belonging to a single person. I did not damage Terence's blog in anyway but here you are damaging mine and doing nothing more but damaging both my character and your own. You make false implications just on one or two posts.
My blog is my personal property and is mine just as much as your computer( I assume it is yours because your knowledge of IT supercedes both Gyver and myself) is yours or your handphone. Being personal property i have my right as the owner to use it as i please. I don't think you'd want friends to use your handphone to make prank calls on purpose or to make long distance phone calls. Just as much as i don't want you to be coming here and making life difficult for me and the people who read this blog.
Moving on, you don't have to boast your knowledge of IT by being an irritant and showing it off here. It'd be appreciated elsewhere but not here. I'd take off my hat to you as a sign of respect to your prowess in the field. I'll quote my brother's blog. The flambouyant pianist, was much hated because he refused to ask permission from the owner of the pianos he played on before he started playing the most outstanding and well played pieces. It irritated and caused dislike just as much like you are doing here.
I trust you are a person of high upstanding due to the lack of use of the standard vulgar vocabulary. A person of such high upbringing and upstanding should know better then to damage property that does not belong to you, insulting others as well as damaging their character especially infront of friends. I'm sure you would certainly dislike it if someone, not necessarily me, were to judge you on a few posts on your blog (its just for example), and then make you look like the worst person in the world to befriend. I think i've observed you enough to know you are not of that kind of low morality. What you are doing here is nothing more then sheer foolishness. You act like a person of high morality but in the process of posting each tag board entry you've made yourself sink so low i think you yourself have surpassed even the worst of criminals. By calling me an Ill bred brat you have postively identified yourself as one as well. Just look at your behaviour and see how "ill bred" you have been too.
Finally, this is just sheer childishness and stupidty on both yours and my part. There is no point in senseless argument or insulting each other. I think you should know that. Note the saying "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" and i think that both of us have been stupid enough to punch each other each time to see who would give up first. I'm not showing you that i'm giving up here, i'm just showing you that i am someone who is capable of gentlemanly behaviour. I admit i am NOT a gentleman but at least i am capable of the behaviour to an extent and i'm sure you are too. We are being as foolish as the men who fight wars. They refuse to put down their weapons and just talk a truce. I'm not going to be as stupid as them and waste both time and resources on it. I don't think you want to either do you? Lets end this now and call it a truce.
I hope you understand me perfectly and this was meant only in my best intentions to end this senseless stupidity between us. Can we agree on this?
If you agree can i request that you post on the tag board one last time to acknowledge that you have read this?
I do not wish to pursue this matter any further.
9/27/2006 10:59:00 pm
Tuesday, September 26, 2006Prelims was bad. Results are bad. Nuff said.
Nothing came out as hoped and planned for. Nothing. English was a miracle i acheived the normal mark but its due to oral. I can't rely on that kind of mark for Oral in O levels. I may not have gotten that for real. I seriously need to work on writing skills. Pronto.
Math...I am thoroughly amazed at how much work i put in still managed to result in a 53 out of 100! Total crap....all the hours i spent i feel like it's just leaked away. But anyway i will not fall here. I only scored that bad because of carelessness. I must not do the same for the O's. I've got a chance to redeem myself on monday next week. Mock math paper. June 06 Math paper. I'm not going to fail this one. I'm going to do well. ALL HANDS ON DECK!
Chemistry. I'm speechless. 47.5% out of 100. This just hurts me. I failed this one because of my practical! I got only 12 out of 40! What in the high heavens was I doing out there? God i really need help on this. I can only pray for help. Then again still not good as i wanted! This is just sad. But at least i know the paper was tough. Many people failed worse then a D7. I'm not sure how other schools call it but to me it was tough.
Biology. For the one time where i've studied so hard for the paper i've done the worse from all other times where i did'nt study so hard. This is just a bombshell technically. Nothing has gone right at all. Practical and Section 2 screw up.
History. The one time where i actually studied for history results in my worst marks to date. I got 28 out of 50! This is just terrible. I was beaten by Daryl Ng who...by reputation is a slacker. No comfort in knowing majority performed around the same. ARGH!!!! The frustration!
Social Studies. I don't know about this one yet. Mrs Wee says i've done alright and said my source based was done quite well as well as the essay writing. But it dosen't help anything...I need that A2 for Humans. Unless i get a miracle and somehow score 43 for social studies...OUT OF 50! How the hell is that going to be possible!?!?
At least I've past everything and improved on Chemistry from an E8 which dropped from a b4. From now to the O levels. I'm going to be work on precision in my Chem. For Math i'm going to work on the TYS in the mean time until i can get to work on other school papers. I think I've shamed myself of all times! When i borrow friends papers they are likely to have scored 70's or 80's. Here in BPS i'm scoring a 60?! Its a shame. Utter shame. I've got nothing to say about it other then to change the ill fate that awaits if it stays this way.
9/26/2006 10:25:00 pm
Monday, September 25, 2006Today i won't say much. Something struck me last night and the night before. A funny dream. Something i don't understand. For once she was in my dream. Nothing sick i promise.
I dreamt of a modern day. I was at a hospital but "time jumps" kept occuring and it seemed like future and present kept jumping back and forth. One moment it was a modern hospital, next thing i know its some futuristic hospital with metal flooring and walls. I remember a date. 21st March not sure of the year. I dreamt i saw her going to the hospital and it was by coincidence i was there. I tried to follow her to talk to her. As soon as i tried, a time jump and everything around me just changed. As if the day was not the same day at all. The next thing i remember it was 23rd March. I was at the hospital again. I saw her there. I talked to her. I asked if she was at the hospital on the 21st she told me she wasn't there on the 21st.
What does this mean??
The topics in the dream are. Hospital, Time, Her and the two dates. I don't understand. For 2 nights i've had the same dream. How odd...
So i've done a topic search in dreams.
Individual meaning.
Hospital
Healing. Confinement. Divine hopes. Ready to heal.
Girl
Learning to be receptive. Happiness and tranquility.
Time
Irreversible. Continuity. Arrival or departure of feelings. Organizing your inner self.
After searching i think i can make out a brief outline that matches what i feel. I think its pretty self explanatory. Its not the time to talk now. Gotta sleep.
9/25/2006 11:25:00 pm
Prelims are over. Today will be the CLB orals. Not worried. Just sianed. I dislike MT (even though i'm chinese anyway). I'm anxious for results, i'm anxious for the O's. I'm worried for others and their results. I'm overly worried about my own results as well. I just want it to come and be done with it. I hate the wait. In 42 days i'm in a POW. IN 15 days after I'm a free man! The wait is too long. But sooner then expected i suppose. I'm now hunting for other school's prelim papers. Just for the practice. I don't care whats already written on the papers. If people ask for mine i would lend them mine because i know that they need it just as much as i need theirs. I went to church to study on Saturday. Stayed till 2.30pm from 11.30am.
Today we did celtic music with John after practice. It was cool and fun.
Daniel sent me Locus Iste which is a song which has words to pachabel. Very nice..very chorale...
I better get some sleep.
9/25/2006 12:17:00 am
Sunday, September 17, 2006*WARNING WARNING WARNING*
WARNING
I hereby forewarn all visitors to this blog , friendly and unfriendly alike. By visiting this blog you are putting your identity in my hands. I will know your IP address, Your EXACT location and your ISP. Try anything funny and you may find a few extra bills charged to your home or the police knocking on your door.
Therefore I DEMAND, because this is my personal property irregardless online or offline, that all visitors be of civil mind and use the tag board responsibly and for your sake and mine use your names instead of anonymous unless you are ashamed of your own name. I'm not joking with anyone here. Don't do anything stupid and all of us will get along just fine.
Remember I will know exactly where you are and your IP and isp. I can even find out your name if i needed to. So remember i'm watching you. Friends need not fear my wrath. Irritants, Enemies and pranksters beware.
9/17/2006 01:50:00 am
So yes..
Its the end of the week. Massive amounts of improvements i'd say. The math papers were "my way" i'd say. Most were questions that i could solve. But there were a few which were dificult to solve. So from now to Wednesday Night i'm a free man. But tommorow (Monday), i'll be going to study chem. For the next 3 days Chem is on my hit list then i'm shifting my scope to the O level revision plan. IF all goes well Chemistry and Math should go by easy. Then i can shift more attention to Bio.
Company of Heroes was released on Friday. I've been having some fun with it with Kevin, Gyver and Daryl. Its alot of fun I say. But very very tough and very very addictive.
Dad had me printing his office documents today. He was printing lots of stuff. I had to feed paper into the printer every 3 minutes. When i fed the paper in, it was a thick stack. Dang thats alot of stuff to print. There were literally mounds of paper on my bed. Thick stacks of paper that could be used as an assault weapon to kill someone, Yikes. Alright..i'm off to bed now. This ain't the best time to be blogging. I'm dead tired.
9/17/2006 01:48:00 am
Sunday, September 10, 2006Well the last day before the prelims. I'm kissing freedom goodbye right about now. We're going past the point of no return from here. 3 months from now i'll look back at this and probably laugh at myself or something. The last 3 days have been rather tiring due to massive amounts of studying. After doing so much math i'm starting to feel the Math TYS is out of questions to entertain me. It's suddenly so clear. I wonder why i found it difficult before. Lack of practice? No interest, i think its the second one. I never liked math. Never will. But after so many days of work i feel alot more intelligent. I have a good feeling about the prelims but i've got a bad feeling at the back of my mind as well. I can't tell what it is.
So well anyway how i wish that the O's were nearer then further. Most of my friends would probably slap me and say "Are you crazy?" Well I ain't. I 'm ready to face down my fears and my problems in that 1.5 to 2 weeks. After that we can all be crazy and laugh ourselves nuts.
I was talking to Joven today. He and Pat seem to be getting along well. He's getting quite close to his goal. She's asked him to go swimming with her in December after his O's while her parents are away. I envy him. But i think i would prefer doing a more discreet and less revealing activity like learning music or enjoying a game or too. Or maybe badminton. Sigh....We reached the topic on where do we forsee our relationships with our intended people to go that far? Do our foresights go as far as seeing ourselves with a family with that person? I don't know about him never got a good answer. But personally speaking....i think its really creepy and wierd. The person you like may or may not be the person you spend the rest of your miserable life on earth with. But what if he or she is? How many teenage couples forsee themselves as starting a family , having kids or such?(Legally of course) This thought freaks me out when it comes to mind as i think of the person i like. Not exactly a pleasant foresight if you ask me. But theres always that what if...Readers not calling for any help here but just stating on how freaky the thought can get.
Life after the O's? I think i've got it planned out for me. First day of freedom after O's?
Spam games. Second day? As above + church stuff, Third? As above. 4th? Spam games and pack luggage. 5th to 13th? Away to Australia, Melbourne. Further then that? Choir pract(inclusive of carolling)+ massive game spammage. After Christmas? Probably find a part time job in small places. Maybe do computer servicing? Help Dad sort out his office PC's? I think there's alot of things that can be done. But i aint doing any waitering jobs in a hotel nor in a fast food restaurant. Office Job's for me. I rather go to work in a crisp suit and tie or maybe a polo T and Long pants or something. But no fast food work or Food outlet work for me.
After the O's i've got more goals to acheive. After the O's i've got time to pursue the smaller matters in life. Improving my musical talents. Keeping my computer knowledge up to date. Get in good shape. Possibly some "other" goals , some people should know what i mean. That will probably be the best time to move the friendship up a level. Next to that...I'm going to try and observe behaviourism. Make notes about my behaviour as well as other's to try and analyze personality. Makes for better understanding of people yes?
Well i'm off to face the my Fate, Doom, Destiny...however you people want to call it. Good luck and God speed to all O level and N level friends(who are already half way thru). May we all laugh at our behaviour and jumpiness at the end of our trauma.
9/10/2006 09:57:00 pm
Saturday, September 09, 2006Its Saturday already.
Yesterday i clocked 9 hours of study. I started at Church 11am to 6pm. Mostly Math, SS and Chem. Did'nt really do much of anything else. Came home slept woke up at 10pm, ate dinner pulled out more work wanting to clock 2 more hours to hit 10. But i only managed 1 extra hour because i was busy with other matters caused by someone who has too much free time.
Today i started the day at church 11am again. I had breakfast out at BK did some math there. Went to church and studied till 3.40pm. Went to speak to the cat class teacher of 03-01 only to find out its not her class that moves the tables but the one before. Next week i guess i'll remind that teacher instead. Back here now. Sigh i don't have any liking to studying, would love to do more interesting things.
The world says enjoy your life. How do enjoy it if you spend most of it slogging your ass off?
Not much sense in that. Rather contradictory if you ask me.
9/09/2006 04:37:00 pm
Wednesday, September 06, 2006Monday afternoon i went down to school to see the band for a while. Zao Ji is not getting any better at the BC as of when i last saw him. Sigh...Li Ting has been transfered to Alto.Sax too. They are playing merry widow and Jubiloso. After band i went to church instead of the new library to study. I did some math and some SS reading.
Tuesday
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I went to AMK library to study with Julian and Joel. I studied till 2.45pm. Joel kept calling his friends to ask questions...funniest thing was his friends were barely two tables away....
After studying i went to TP for lunch, ate at delifrance to kill time. It was raining before i ate and when i left it stopped raining. When i reached church it was 3.45. Borrowed out the key and went up to pract. Joven was late. We practiced the mass stuff and some wedding stuff. We returned the key and went to eat prata for dinner.
Today
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Did'nt leave the house today. Julian called in the morning asked if i wanted to study. I said i could'nt. Was supposed to study with Gyver but i decided i wanted to study alone. Sigh.
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Thoughts
For one thing i don't intend on letting her know anything till the time is right.
I don't think i should jumpstart anything. Take it slow.
Friends are better then aquaintances.
I'm off now
9/06/2006 06:02:00 pm
Monday, September 04, 2006Eat this!
I won't pretend i've not seen the tagboard, but here's what i have to say to that "innocent" person.
1.You are a jackass ( You have no respect for others)
(You probably look just like this ass here, maybe you're too dumb to know a donkey is also called ass)
2. You're retarded (Can't tell what belongs to you or to others, no sense of right or wrong)
3. You're fucked up big time (Need to put anonymous to hide your own name sheesh)
(Probably too ashamed of your own intelligence!)
Finally Have a nice day
(you jackass,retard and fucked up dude or gal)------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you enjoyed yourself anonymous, i certainly loved showing the world what a complete noob and jackass you are. Get your filthy ass out of here you runt.
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Anyway on to the affairs of the normal day. Woke up at 6, late again. Went to warm up ,played Rachel some stuff from pirates, Joven was late, mass was considerably ok..i think. Pract was short. Came back only to go out for a bbq with the family. Came home at 10. Took a rest and went to help bro do some music recordings. Went to play some bf2 with Daryl and Kevin. Nothing special really. Tommorow i'll go down to band for about 2 hours. Then i'll go down to the library to study chem. Need to start getting ready. Its on Monday next week.
9/04/2006 02:37:00 am
Saturday, September 02, 2006Bring it on!
I restarted my BF 2 account and i'm using my former account. The one and only ORIGINAL Zerstorer. Prefix not included. Yeah so now my new stats are up and they can be seen at the bottom of this blog.
Corporal Zerstorer of the British SAS
And to think i started the account only yesterday...i advanced two ranks in a single day. I'll be sergeant in a few hours if i tried. But i know better then to play too late. Got choir tommorow anyway.
Anyway I have a bad feeling about tommorow...No John. Without John around i suspect a difficult time. Minus Liz as well. She usually makes the music have a little more skill in it. Sigh this week is a testing week. Not only for myself but especially for Joven. He's got a break through at last. She has asked him if he likes her. He did'nt say the answer yet saying he'll tell her tommorow at lunch. But he has a bad feeling about it. Really a testing week it is.
Tommorow the family is having a bbq at a chalet. I'm not staying over due to reasons involving studies. I want to be home on monday morning so i can get up and go out and study at the new bishan library. It opened today by the way. But i got to go and eat after this practice abit and then go play some DoW or BF 2 with Kevin and Daryl.
Outta here..